Episode 414 Charlynne Boddie Discovering Your Extreme Dream Transcript

This transcript is from episode 414 with guest Charlynne Boddie.

Scott DeLuzio: [00:00:00] Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we are focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community. Whether you’re a veteran, active duty, guard, reserve, or a family member, this podcast will share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let’s get on with the show.

Hey, everybody. Welcome back to Drive On. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And today, my guest is Charlynne Boddie. Uh, Charlynne is an ordained minister and coach with extensive experience serving the military community. She’s worked as a guest military chaplain, taught for four years. Pentagon chaplains and counseled military couples.

Her book, True Grid offers insights for those in transition or searching for purpose. And her Xtreme Dream seminar helps individuals rebuild their lives after significant setbacks. And today we’ll [00:01:00] explore her experiences and the wisdom she shares with veterans and military families. So before we get into all of that, uh, Charlene, welcome to the show.

I’m really glad to have you here.

Charlynne Boddie: Scott, it’s always an honor to be with anyone that has, uh, served our nation. So thank you so much for having me.

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, you bet. Um, and it’s interesting. You have an interesting background. I talked a little bit about it, uh, in the intro there, and I’m sure we’ll get more into that as we go. But, um, you know, it’s, it’s great having people who have had some experience with the military, uh, and some of the issues that they are maybe dealing with.

Obviously, one person’s issues are not represented with. Representative of the entire community. But you, you know, over time you can start to piece together some little bits and pieces that are common amongst other people. And, um, you know, I’d love for you to maybe, uh, share some of your experiences serving as a [00:02:00] guest military chaplain and teaching the Pentagon chaplains, the things that you’ve done kind of with the.

Military community and, and kind of talk about that a little bit about your background and, and we can get into kind of, you know, some of the common themes or challenges that folks are, are maybe having.

Charlynne Boddie: Great. Well, you know, um, when I first started, you know, working with, um, military people, it was, um, usually on disasters, Scott, that was my first. Like being a professional and working with military professionals was working on some of America’s biggest disasters. And, um, I was the federal spokesperson, um, in the nineties for the largest The first national disaster exercise America had ever done, and we had lots of military personnel for that, and, um, it was amazing, even though I was a Fed, the military guys that, you know, all [00:03:00] active duty, uh, that, you know, were tasked to be a part of that exercise, we had over 3, 000 military personnel for that exercise. It was huge, and it was out in Utah, and, um, Utah at that time was having lots of earthquakes. And, um, we felt they were a pretty good fit for where to stage this thing, and that was probably the beginning, Scott and me, just building that camaraderie. Even though I wasn’t enlisted, the guys just kind of treated me like their sister.

Wherever they went, I had to go. I was just always tagging along, and I got to work with Army, I got to work with Air Force, all these different people. And they, of course, are so well cross trained, and they would ask me questions like, uh, Hey Char, have you eaten yet? And I’d say no, and they’d say we’re going to get some steak and salad, want to come with?

And I’m thinking we’re gonna go somewhere in Utah, [00:04:00] you know, when we’re not playing the exercise. No, no, with military you can never assume that, because they would put me in an army jeep, Scott, and they would take me out to who knows where, and I would find myself at some undisclosed airfield. And one of these guys, in the military would have a plane there and they would put me in the plane with them and they would fly me to another state, Scott, for steak and salad.

Look, I said, we could go right down the road, guys. Like, nah, nah, everybody’s doing that. Everybody’s doing that. Let’s go somewhere else. They would fly me into Nevada from Utah for dinner, put me back in the plane and fly me back to the exercise. That was my first experience with military.

Scott DeLuzio: The funny thing is you never know where, where the story, like you started telling that story and I’m thinking to myself, okay, this seems, You know, fairly common, you know, where there’s, there’s a training [00:05:00] exercise of some sort and folks are there and you’re getting to know them, the camaraderie and getting to, you know, but in the back of my head, I was like, you never know where these stories can end up.

Um, especially with, in the military,

Charlynne Boddie: No.

Scott DeLuzio: you,

Charlynne Boddie: So,

Scott DeLuzio: you have all sorts of different, uh, options and that was one that I didn’t see, I didn’t see that coming,

Charlynne Boddie: me neither.

Scott DeLuzio: But I don’t doubt it either. You know, like it’s that type of thing, you know,

Charlynne Boddie: Yeah. And I just loved it. I was always, you know, the sidekick. It’s like, Oh, Char, what are you doing? You know, um, here’s what we’re going to do. You want to come with? I mean, it was always that thing. And I think wherever I’ve been, Military guys have always said, Oh, Char’s single, but we treat her like our sister, so we’re just gonna invite her.

Oh, we’re gonna take the copter up tonight. Wanna go, Char? I mean, I’ve had that all throughout my life, which is probably why my family knows, if you wanna make my day, buy me a helicopter ride with someone in the military for a gift. And that has happened [00:06:00] all throughout my life. Navy. You wouldn’t believe all the military I’ve flown with, which is why to this day, Scott, I have a huge, huge love for helicopters.

Scott DeLuzio: that’s good.

Charlynne Boddie: And even the military in Canada, it’s like, ooh, Shara’s here. Oh, she likes to come hang with the guys. So let’s just grab her. We’re gonna go into grizzly country, but we’re taking the chopper. And I’m like, count me in. I’m going, you know, and so for me, starting off with military, it was that. And I think because of the camaraderie, Scott, then, then the guys start saying, okay, I can talk to her about my girlfriend issues or, um, you know, I’m married to this gal now and we’re having problems with our kids.

What do we do? Because the other hat that I’ve worn in my life has been super nanny. So, um, they have felt very safe talking to me about family issues. And by the time I moved to Europe and, [00:07:00] um, You know, I was invited to go and work with NATO forces in Germany. Um, they, there was just that, that, that total trust there.

And so the lead chaplain there for US forces was a friend of mine. By this time, you know, a longstanding friend. Uh, I knew him and his wife before they got married. And, um, you know, he said, Um, love to have you come over, and let’s just see what would happen. And it started out with me being a part of helping a general with a dream that he’d had, and he didn’t understand it, and it was quite biblical in content.

And when I got there, they just, again, that door opened, just same kind of door that Seen with comradery on disasters for America, then it was, Hey Shark, could you help us with this? We have this military family that adopted a baby in another country, but now, um, they’re [00:08:00] not quite sure how to handle what’s happening.

There’s a lot of scary things happening in their house, and it’s supernatural in scope. Can you help us? And that’s right up my alley. Uh, you know, and I would say to anyone, Scott, listening to your, your cast today, that. You know, the supernatural is more real than the chairs you and I are sitting on. Uh, you know, you said earlier, I am a military chaplain who’s often guesting in some capacity somewhere.

And when I come in, it’s usually because there’s some kind of crisis. That was always my specialty as a Fed. And, uh, there’s usually some kind of crisis going on, and they say, Ooh, this, this might be something SHAR can help with. So, in that particular instance, military family has children of their own, but while they were, you know, uh, PCS’d somewhere else, They decide to adopt a child from a tribe of people and it’s not their background.

So you have a different color, different nationality. [00:09:00] And yet they love this baby. They decide to do something really wonderful. And yet they’re bringing into their home some supernatural issues they did not bargain for.

Scott DeLuzio: Interesting.

Charlynne Boddie: Yeah. And so I said, wow, I said, let me help you with that.

Scott DeLuzio: well, and I think, you know, in order for someone to come to you with any sort of issue that they may be having with, whether it’s a girlfriend issue, marital problems, or you name it, the other issues there, there has to be some level of trust there. And, uh, I think kind of that approach that you’re talking about with, uh, Kind of getting that camaraderie where they, they know you, they can, you’re approachable in everyday situations, uh, where they can invite you out to dinner, even if it is flying you across state lines to another place, right?

But they, they’re comfortable enough with you that they’ll include you in their shenanigans. And, uh, [00:10:00] When there’s something real going on, um, some, you know, that they need some help with, uh, they’re comfortable enough to talk with you about that. And I think that’s important. Um, the reason why I’m bringing that up is because, um, you know, not only is it important for someone in a role like a chaplain type role, uh, or, or something along those lines.

Um, It’s important just for people in your life in general to have those people where you’re, you are comfortable talking with them about everyday things. And then when you need help with something, you got to have that person to be able to talk to. And be able to just, even just sometimes the act of talking to somebody else helps kind of clarify things in your own mind.

And the other person doesn’t need to say anything. They can just sit there and talk and listen and you talk and then you kind of figure it out on your own. Um, you know, [00:11:00] I’ve, I’ve had that happen several times where I’ve, I’ve been talking with my wife and um, I’m like, Hey, I got this, this thing going on.

I’m trying to figure it out. And as I’m talking, I’m like, you know what? I think I just figured it out. You know? And so it’s, it’s great to have someone and it doesn’t happen all the time, but um, it’s great to have somebody there that you can talk to. Um, and so I think that that’s kind of important, but you know, in that role that you had, you’ve probably experienced, you know, a number of so much for joining us today, and we look forward to seeing you on the show again soon.

Being that ear that, that they can, uh, talk to, or, uh, you know, is there something a little more in depth that you, you go into?

Charlynne Boddie: Well, um, the other thing I think we’re seeing, um, always, I think because there’s so many stresses with military families, one of the things I’ve noticed across the board is, [00:12:00] um, you often have single parents out there, uh, because, you know, not every marriage can handle the stresses of military life where, you know, it’s not uncommon for the average military person to, uh, have 20 different, uh, You know, locations they’ve lived in around or more around the world.

When I talk to military wives, they are packing up and moving all the time. And it puts stress on a marriage. And if you have children at home, and your husband, let’s say he’s a submariner, and he’s out, maybe three, four, six months at sea, And you’re having to play mom and dad at home. It puts strain there.

And so I, you know, worked with, you know, the UK military with Navy situations with military families, but also US, uh, as well. And, um, I got to work with some single dads. And talking to them about their children, making, um, you know, best decisions for their [00:13:00] kids where they have custody, perhaps. So I’ve had a lot of men say, I’ve got custody of my son and daughter and, um, you know, I will of course send the kids to see their mom from here and there, but Char, now I’m here, I’m based in the States, you know, help me out with this kid’s situation and what I’m dealing with.

And so that’s where my seminar would come into play that you mentioned earlier from my book True Grid, uh, which is on Amazon, it’s on Kindle, and it’s also on Audible if you want to check it out and have me read it to you. Um, but in that book we talk about looking at all three parts of your life. And, um, in that one military case where I had, um, a single dad who had custody, um, he said, I just feel like everything’s all over the place, Char, and nothing’s seeming to fit right now.

And they’re coming into those pre teen years. And I said, well, here’s what I sense. If we get dad situated and [00:14:00] dad at peace, then the things will fall into place for the kids because they’re looking for you to be secure. When you’re secure and okay, then they’re going to feel peace in their surroundings.

So I said, let’s, let’s work with you. And so he came and spent a whole day with me. We looked at his natural, situation. So your, uh, your, you know, I call it, you know, spirit, soul, and body of your vision and your purpose, where you want to go. I said, let’s look at your natural surroundings, how that’s working, where you and the kids are living.

Is it safe? Is it secure? What are your neighbors like? All this kind of stuff. Uh, is there a support base for you? What about your in laws? Are they around? Can we count on them when dad needs a break? Can they be in a safe place with in laws, grandmas, grandpas, all that? So we looked at that. And also his job in the reserves.

We looked at all of that and his thought about going into civilian life. At some point, we talked about that. Then in that soulless realm, we looked at his mind, his will, and [00:15:00] his emotions. You know, where is he at on the inside? What did he want to talk about? How could we bring peace to his inner man, so to speak, while he’s going through all these things out here with him and the kids.

Um, also dating. We talked about all of that. You know, I put that in that room when guys come to me, uh, military, um, or not, I say to them, you know, your heart issues, uh, the soulish realm, your mind, will, and emotions is where we look at those dating issues and, you know, Where do you want to be? What kind of person floats your boat?

All of that. So when you’re single and you’re divorced in your military, we’re looking at that. The other thing we look at is your spirit, you know. Scott, I don’t know if you know this, but any doctor will tell you out there that when someone flatlines, 21 grams of weight leaves every single person’s body.

And we know now that that’s your spirit. That is your spirit. Your literal spirit has weight [00:16:00] to it and the minute anybody flatlines, whether you’re 100 pounds or 500 pounds, 21 grams leaves your body and we know the weight in that separate from your soul is from the weight your spiritual self has a weight to it and um, You know, I talked to him about that.

You know, we talk about, do you have a faith? What is your faith in? And, um, do you pray? And, and what are you meditating on? Because we know Whatever your thoughts are, you know, it should not be as I call it stinking thinking. It needs to be healthy thoughts. They’re gonna help you turn those thoughts into actions that actually will be a blessing to you and in this soldier’s case, his children and So it was just a great day for him, a great day for an event, uh, maybe even cry a little at some things that he was dealing with.

And, um, I know that the in laws knew I was working with him. [00:17:00] And I said, you know, in a perfect world, we want to work together. So me as chaplain slash counselor, yes, an ordained minister, But also who has a heart for military families and the incredible sacrifices they make so that we in America can keep all of our freedoms.

For me, that is, that is priceless. So anytime military calls me, whether you’re a veteran, or whether you’re a reservist, or whether you’re active duty, male or female, I’m gonna, you know, be right there to help and give that listening ear. Um, you know, to those parents, whether you’re single, married, Going through a divorce, you know, struggling with kids.

I’ve also had high ranking officers call and say, hey, um, you know, I need some prayer because this is what I’m dealing with with my teenagers right now. And, um, Shara, might you come spend some time with my teenagers? And, um, you know, You know, um, so I’ve done that. [00:18:00] I’ve nannied for, um, you know, active duty officers that have gone to get some quiet quality time with their wives.

I think that is key too. That’s probably one of the greatest things I can do is maybe step in for parents of military, um, kids and be that safe person, um, on base with kids. While the parents go to another country and just get away from it all and really build some, you know, so called me time for that marriage where there’s no kids involved.

They don’t have to worry about their kids. Um, they know that they’re in safe hands and they can go check in on their marriage. How are we doing? You know, do we still love each other? Uh, do we understand what that means? Are we actively operating in each other’s love languages? You know, there’s five love languages.

What are we doing with that? You know, when I got to Germany, Scott, I had the wonderful [00:19:00] discovery that the same Gary Chapman who wrote the famous book Love Languages, the five love languages, he wrote a military edition. Have you seen that? Yes.

Scott DeLuzio: I knew about the, the, the five, the original five, I guess it, let’s call it that. But, uh, I didn’t know that there was a, uh, military edition of that, but that’s, that is interesting.

Charlynne Boddie: Yeah. And so, of course, when I got to Germany, I went and chatted with some of the school educators for the kids. And I just thought, let me get my bearings, let me meet some people, see what’s going on here on this base in Germany. And, um, yeah. I was just so glad to find that out. I did not know that and they say, Oh, Reverend, you got to have some of these.

And I said, Oh my goodness. We have the military version. And why would there need to be a military version? Well, because military families, as you and I know, Scott, go through things that no other kind of family goes through. [00:20:00] Yeah. Yes. Families have problems out there, but when you’re in the military, you have extra pressures.

Would you agree?

Scott DeLuzio: Oh, absolutely. Um, and even just something as simple as, uh, like you were talking about before, something that happens routinely where, uh, you know, sailors are off at, at sea on a ship for however many months or, you know, deployment, you know, we’re, we’re not, uh, you know, we’ve pulled out of Afghanistan and, and, you know, things like that, but there’s still deployments going, going on around the world.

Um, and so. That, that happens too. And so now we have soldiers and Marines, airmen, sailors, we have them all over the world, and those people likely have families of some sort, uh, you know, back home and where’s the support for them? Um, you know, a lot of times with the frequent moves going from one place to another, they’re not around family.

where they can have, uh, you know, the [00:21:00] grandparents around or, or, you know, aunts or uncles or cousins or, you know, whoever to be around to, to help out and support the family while, while somebody’s away. Um, and so, you know, building that network, we were talking about that come camaraderie before, um, you know, having that with people.

So it’s like, Oh, Hey, our, our neighbor, uh, you know, they’re, they’re. Have someone deployed and they might need some extra help. As a matter of fact, we have a neighbor near us and they’re, uh, the husband is deployed and, um, you know, you know, every once in a while just check in. And, uh, you know, if there’s something that we can help out with, we help out.

If, you know, It’s just kind of just being there for somebody. And, you know, if there’s, there’s more that we can do, we, we certainly would. Um, you know, but you know, it’s, it’s really just, I think just being there and knowing that there, there’s someone there who can, can help out when things are getting out of control and, and everything, you know, [00:22:00] and, and so, um, I want to talk about the Xtreme Dream Seminar.

That sounds, sounds interesting to me as

Charlynne Boddie: Yeah. Oh, it’s fun.

Scott DeLuzio: tell us a little bit about the seminar, what, what people can expect from it, um, when they, they check it out and how can it help folks?

Charlynne Boddie: well, this is what, like, if we go back to that single parent dad, It really helped him get his feet on the ground and make some decisions about where he wanted to go. And so as I said earlier, it, I’m looking at the three different parts of what I call the anatomy of a dream or vision or your purpose.

And it is looking at your body, soul, and spirit. We are three parts to us. Each one of us on the planet has a body, soul, and spirit. So we break that apart with regard to vision. And we also look at three time periods in your life, Scott. So I look at. The next 30 days in someone’s life, I then look at the next one to six months with regard to all three parts that I just mentioned, and the next one to five [00:23:00] years.

So you’re looking at where you are now over a five year period, and what are those goals, those purposes that really are key in your life? Who should be in your life that isn’t there now? And maybe there are relationships in your life that are not adding to your purpose that should not have the same, um, let’s say, access to you that they have right now.

Because a lot of times, you know, sometimes we share dreams and visions that we have. And when I say a dream or vision, Scott, I mean, Your purpose for life. Sometimes you share where you want to go with the wrong people, not meaning to. You’re just talking about what’s exciting to you, what you want to do.

And we can have naysayers come about as a result of that. So I’m really, um, coaching my clients on, uh, who to share their heart with, their innermost heart with, who’s safe, who’s not. And we really talk a great deal about boundaries. What is a boundary? Well, a boundary keeps [00:24:00] the good things in, and the bad things out.

And how do we, how do we help people, uh, create a safe environment to actually live out that purpose that they believe that they’re called to do? Whether it’s in military, whether you choose to be a reservist, uh, whether it’s time for you to retire and you’re going to be a veteran. who’s looking at something else in civilian lifestyle, um, all of that.

How do you build the right friends? I’m also teaching people how to build what I call your, um, your board for you incorporated. If we treated ourselves like a corporation, what kind of board or cabinet would you build for yourself? What does that look like? How do you know what kind of people to approach?

Um, and how do you actually walk out goals that are doable, that help you really build those big dreams and see them come into fruition. And that’s why I call it the Xtreme Dream. Um, because I really believe every single person has [00:25:00] incredible dreams on the inside of them. And, We all need cheerleaders, and I really believe, I think God put me on planet Earth to be a cheerleader for other people.

I certainly had them in my life, and one of my main mentors for many years was a combat marine officer. Scott, can you believe that? Um, combat marine officer who was a guy, 500. Business consultant. And he said, you know, Shahar, you’re kind of a warrior. There’s a part of you, even though you’re very feminine outwardly, he said there’s a part of you that is a kick butt warrior, but then you’re also quite entrepreneurial, and you also have a governmental thing.

Now in the Bible, we had two patriarchs in the Bible. One was Joseph. He was the business leader, you know, for the Jewish people, and he saved their nation in times of famine. And Daniel, was a Jewish guy who served like three different [00:26:00] kings in, in Arabia. He was this incredible governmental leader that they never let go of because he was so wise.

And my mentor said, you know, that’s kind of where you’re at. And yet, uh, Um, I’ve learned so much from him because of the disciplines in the military that he gained as a Marine, and I’m just so honored to know him. And um, his books are on Amazon too, I think he’s written like eight books, and his name is Morris Ruddick.

He’s written eight different books, he’s traveled the globe for U. S. forces, and what, what an incredible, um, you know, Christian leader who happens to be, um, A retired Marine combat officer, and he mentored me for a number of years, and I’m so grateful for that. And, um, you know, again, there’s that military thread that’s always running through my life and, and things that I’ve learned, you know, men like yourself, Scott, many, many others, and women out there, too.

Uh, the disciplines that are gained [00:27:00] in the U. S. military. Fortify you from the inside out, I believe, and make, um, our, our forces, uh, the strongest forces on planet Earth, and we’re so proud of all of you, and yet, um, when I take a look at that, and I’m working with military families, I’m looking at Even in the UK, I’ve worked with so many military families in the UK, uh, with Xtreme Dream.

I’m doing the same thing with them. And recently I did, I had the, the request to do an entire military family in the UK. And, um, the father was a high ranking, uh, um, medical officer and he said would you do my entire family? So they have two daughters at the time, two teenage daughters, and his wife is also in the medical field and she is um, a radiologist and um, So I had the whole family doing Xtreme [00:28:00] Dream with me, and so we looked at the kids individually, and then we looked at the wife individually, the husband individually, and the two of them together as a couple.

So, when you do Xtreme Dream, you could come to me as a military family and say, sharp, like they did. We want the whole family to go through this together. Or you could say, could you just do this with my kids to help them transition into the next place we’re going to? Or the couple could say, we just want to do this for our anniversary weekend.

And that often happens, Scott. I can’t tell you how many couples have repeatedly done Xtreme Dream with me, um, at five year junctures in their marriage, because they said, it just keeps our feet on the ground. It keeps us well, uh, you know, oiled. So to speak for the engine of our family to operate properly.

Um, it helps us stay focused on what’s important to this family. And so I’ve just had the great honor of taking a [00:29:00] sneak peek into people’s lives, being that cheerleader for them, uh, in all their different military transitions and saying, this could be your roadmap as a family. And it looks at your natural gifts.

As well as those internal gifts, the way that you’re motivated, the way that you make decisions. There’s so many different tools I use at Xtreme Dream to help couples, young people, even single people find out what is the best path for them with the choices they have within the military and without the military.

You know, because at some point folks are going to probably retire. And you might want to do something else. What if you decide to write books? I know one military leader, um, you know, has created a foundation for veterans, and he also writes books. So there’s a lot of different things that you can do once you come back home.

And you PCS to your [00:30:00] final place that you want to be. And, um, you know, if somebody calls me, Scott, and says, Hey, Char, can you help me with this? I’m going to say, yes, here’s the textbook, but I also have a workbook we’re going to work through as well. And it’s going to give you some things to consider, uh, in that next place.

And it, you know, Xtreme Dream was created for people in transition. And my first class, Scott, has a thousand people in it. in Europe that had lost their jobs ages 20 to 65. And this, we first started teaching this in the late 90s and there was a recession and I had a thousand people without jobs in front of me.

And out of that came some of the top business leaders in the United Kingdom in that first class. And then I started doing it in America and around the globe.

Scott DeLuzio: Well, one of the things that you mentioned, uh, in all of this, and you, and you said, I believe you said, and maybe I’m paraphrasing here that, that everybody has [00:31:00] a purpose within them. Uh, but a lot of times that folks are struggling to figure out what that purpose is. And it sounds

Charlynne Boddie: Oh yeah,

Scott DeLuzio: seminar is helpful in, in figuring that out.

Um, but One of the things I see, and I hear this all the time from veterans is you go from, you know, being a 18 year old kid who, I don’t know, who you got the whole, your whole life ahead of you. And so you’re not really thinking much about purpose and you know, what is my purpose? But at that point you joined the military, you’re in for however long you’re in and, and the military is your purpose, serving your country.

That’s a pretty big purpose, right? Your, your identity is tied into that. And. Then all of a sudden you’ve, it’s like flipping a light switch and you take that uniform off for the last time and now you’re a veteran and it’s like, okay, well, what is a veteran? You know, it’s not, it’s, it’s just a label of, uh, that identifies what you used to [00:32:00] do, uh, but it doesn’t identify anything about what you are now or, or what your purpose is now.

Um, and, and so folks struggle with that.

Charlynne Boddie: Oh yeah.

Scott DeLuzio: advice for folks who are struggling to figure out their, their purpose or searching for direction in their lives? Just what’s the, what’s ahead for me, you know?

Charlynne Boddie: well, the first thing I usually do with people, and it sounds crazy, but it’s so powerful, and some people do it, but the way that I do it is this. I encourage people to get, um, a poster board. I encourage them to get their favorite color. You know, uh, go into Walgreens or, or some art store and get a huge piece of poster board, pick a color you like, and then get a stack of old magazines.

I know today with so tech driven, uh, you know, a society that we have, uh, people might say magazines. Oh, man, I don’t get magazines anymore. But grab them. Go to a recycling place and grab a stack of magazines. And also go to your favorite Barnes and Noble, your favorite [00:33:00] newsstand, grab some magazines and sit down and start cutting.

And I usually tell my clients, cut for an hour everything that jumps out at you. Don’t analyze it, don’t pick it apart, don’t put any psychobabble on it, just cut it out. Get a stack of clippings. Start with that first for an hour. And then in your next hour, just take two hours for yourself to do this. In your second hour, take those clippings and create what I call the treasure map to your heart or the dream board.

Do the dream board and then look at it later. Set it aside and come back to it and look at it and go, Oh my gosh, where in the world did I find that picture? And why is that central in the board? What does that mean to me? Why did I do that? Because those boards do speak, Scott. They start talking to you.

And when I’m looking at that board, I’m helping my clients interpret what that’s actually saying to someone like me, who’s an objective onlooker. [00:34:00] You know, so sometimes people take pictures of their boards and send it to me and they’ll say, Char, what do you see in this? And I’ll say, wow, did you consider this?

Or when I look at this board, this is what it says to me. Now you tell me what that means to you. And people are often running just with that dream board. We take what the pictures tell us, Scott, from the dream board, and we put that into words that are then doable bite sized goals for that dream board.

Xtreme Dream Grid, which I call the Vision and Purpose Grid, and that is in my book. In the early part of the book, you see the whole grid. It has all three parts, body, soul, spirit, and then the three timelines. The next 30 days, what are you going to do with all three parts of you? The next one to six months, what are the doable goals for all three?

Parts of you and then the next one to five years in a perfect world if you could not fail in any way shape or Form, where would you see yourself in the next one to five years? I can’t tell you how many people, Scott, they see their [00:35:00] dreams realized. Just taking that time. I had the top developer in the United Kingdom do that with me.

He and his wife, uh, And I, we went away together for a weekend, Xtreme Dream Couples Weekend. It blew his mind. He’d never done anything like that. At first he goes, Oh really Char, I gotta get poster board like a kid and do all this, you know, because he’d never done a collage before. I said, yes, I’m asking you to do a collage without putting any psychobabble on it or thinking about it.

Just cut and paste. That’s all I’m asking you to do for two hours. It blew his mind the inner self that came out on that board. I had another guy call me one time and he had said to me, I did it with him when he was like single and he He put the board, he had this bright yellow board, I’ll never forget it.

He had a bright yellow board, Scott, with this beautiful, like, Barbie doll, like, person that he wanted to marry. Blonde, blue eyed, beautiful lady. And then he had a yellow house with a white picket fence. And [00:36:00] he had a schnauzer on there, a dog, you know, that breed. And he had a little boy and a little girl, and that was his dream.

And he also had dolphins on it. He said, I’m gonna find the Barbie doll. I want to find the Barbie doll. Wife Char, I just, I’m attracted to blondes. I just want a beautiful blonde, and I want to swim with the dolphins. Do you know everything on the board came to pass, Scott? And he didn’t even recognize it till they were probably into the marriage two or three years later.

And he calls me, screaming down the phone, Sharr! Sharr! You won’t believe it! You won’t believe it! You won’t believe it! I go, What? What? What happened? What happened? He said, My wife looked at my dream board, which is on the guest bathroom door. I go, Okay. And he goes, It was just out of the way. We had looked at it for a long time, because it’s the guest bathroom.

We don’t go in there. I go, Okay. And he goes, she took it down and she called him. She said, hey, when, when, when did we sign and close on our house? He goes, why do you care about that? If the house is ours, we’re here. We’re having a great time. She goes, no, [00:37:00] just get me the deed. I want to see it. Because what he had put on the dream board, Scott, was the date he wanted to close on the yellow house with the white picket fence.

He put dates as to when he wanted to swim with the dolphins by. put dates as to when he wanted to have children. Do you know all the dates were marked on that board and they hit every single one of them? And he never realized that till three years into the marriage. He goes, oh my gosh, Char, we even have a schnauzer!

I go, good for you! Yay, happiness! He goes, no, you got to come over. We got to celebrate. He goes, he goes, I believe God did this. I go, yeah, I’m sure he did. I said literally every single picture on his dream board came to place, and he has the most adorable Barbie doll wife. She is just adorable. Beautiful blonde Barbie doll.

He got it all. But see, he had planted that thought in his mind, Scott, and at the time he was thinking, Boy, what kind of girl that looks like that is gonna marry me? He was such a [00:38:00] humble man, and uh, probably my favorite motivational speaker is this guy, and I will never forget being at his wedding, thinking to myself, there she is. But he had not caught that yet, it was three years later, it was like, oh my gosh, at that moment, they had the little girl first. By the time they look the board, they’ve got the boy. They got the baby boy. I mean, he had it all. I was like, oh my gosh, this is great. But that happens all the time and it happens all the time to me.

I get calls like that all the time.

Scott DeLuzio: I, I think one benefit of the, the process that you’re, you’re going through is, well, actually, there’s two things that I can, I can think of off the top of my head is one, the first one I was going to say is when you, you’re planning, Anything, even in the military, when you’re planning a mission, you, you figure out, okay, let’s, let’s work backwards.

That’s what’s the end end goal. What’s the objective of this mission. [00:39:00] And let’s work, work our way backwards to now and figure out, okay, this place we need to get to, we need to get there by. X time, and it takes a half hour to get there. Okay. Let’s factor in 10 or 15 minutes for, you know, a buffer time to make sure we’re there on time.

And, and, you know, all these things you, you, you factor all this stuff in. And that allows you to succeed in that mission. If you think about. Things like here, here’s your, your goals for your future in the next 30 days, six months, you know, years from now, whatever, whatever the time period is, um, I would like to, you know, in this case, like with this guy, I’d like to be married to Barbie, but by X date, okay, well, how do you do that?

Right. First off, you got to find Barbie and you

Charlynne Boddie: Yeah, that’s it.

Scott DeLuzio: she’s got to like you. [00:40:00] So, you know, you, you got, you got a little work to do there, but you at least have like, okay, I want this by X. Okay. How do I figure that out? And then, then you work, work your way backwards

Charlynne Boddie: Yeah, exactly.

Scott DeLuzio: does that for you. But the other thing that I was thinking of is.

Um, you know, I, I kind of had the same thought as, uh, the, the guy that you were talking about. It was like, Oh, I gotta, I gotta cut and paste like, you know, a kid does and all that kind of kind of stuff. And I was thinking, okay, okay, what are, what are the merits of, of doing this type of thing? What, why, if it was me sitting there, like, why would I do this?

Right. And as I’m going through flipping through a magazine, um, which. To your point, I haven’t done it a long time because most of the stuff is online. But it, you know, thinking back to, you know, when, when you would flip through a magazine, there’s always something that catches your eye. Um, it’s usually, you know, a picture or some graphic or some, something’s going to catch your eye.

Um, there’s, Slogan even. Yep, exactly. Uh, it could be a [00:41:00] headline on an article. It could be something that’s going to catch your attention and just draw you to it. Um, why, why is it drawing it, drawing you to it? Maybe that’s something that’s missing in your life. You know,

Charlynne Boddie: Yeah,

Scott DeLuzio: in this guy’s case, he put out a picture of Barbie.

Well, that was, Barbie was missing in his life, right? And so he, he found a picture of that and he, and he put that in, uh, his stack of, uh, cutouts. There’s a reason why stuff pops out at you. Um, even, even advertisements like billboards on the side of the highway or television commercials, there’s a reason why they are effective.

It’s because there’s something in your life that you, you either need, or you can really be convinced to want it a lot, but

Charlynne Boddie: and it’s, and it’s something, Scott, that you’ll work toward. I mean, that is what I’m getting out to be, because even the multimillionaire that had the empire, or has the empire in England, that was one of my clients, [00:42:00] you know, a guy like that has everything, he thought, And he’s like, oh, why am I doing this?

This doesn’t make any sense to me. And when he did it, oh my gosh, the emotions. It hit a button in him that he had not considered. And it literally rocked his world and it changed his life, that moment. It changed his life. That weekend, it’s something he’ll never forget.

Scott DeLuzio: And there’s certain things

Charlynne Boddie: taken that kind of time for himself to think like that.

Scott DeLuzio: and there’s certain things that money just can’t buy, right? And so if, if you can have all the money in the world, you could be a, a billionaire and you can have all this, all this kind of money. Um, but there’s certain things that it doesn’t matter how much money you have or how much money you’re willing to spend or, or anything like that.

If, if you don’t have, if you don’t have Barbie in your life, you’re not going to have Barbie, right? It doesn’t matter. Um,

Charlynne Boddie: not, you’re not going to have a family without that other half in your life. You know, you can’t have a baby without that [00:43:00] other half, whether you’re a girl looking for the guy or, you know, a man like that, who’s saying, I’m tired of being single, Char. How do we get past this? And, you know, most of my clients, Scott, are men that have asked me to come be that relationship coach. For them.

Scott DeLuzio: hmm. And, and that’s, I think, important to have somebody who can help guide you in the right direction. Um, you know, and,

Charlynne Boddie: Yeah.

Scott DeLuzio: give you the nudge because, you know, maybe, I don’t know, maybe you’re, you don’t, you don’t have a whole lot of luck in the dating scene or whatever. And it’s like, well, well, why, you know, there’s, there’s got to be a reason, right.

You know, and it was funny, my, my, My kids and I, we were, we were watching the movie Back to the Future a couple days ago. And,

Charlynne Boddie: Oh, yay!

Scott DeLuzio: and funny, funny the scene where, uh, where he goes back and he meets his dad and he’s trying to get his dad to, Be set up with [00:44:00] his, his mom. Uh, and their, his dad’s all awkward and, and he’s not confident in himself.

And he doesn’t, he doesn’t know how to, like, how do I even approach a woman? How do I talk to her? And he writes down notes of like what he’s supposed to say and he botches that and whatever, but, but it’s like, you need someone there to kind of give you that push sometimes,

Charlynne Boddie: Absolutely. We all need it.

Scott DeLuzio: there, right? Yeah, exactly.

And it may not just be dating. It might be, uh, in your career or it might be, you know, in, in some other aspect of your life that you might need to have somebody there who can push you in the right direction. Not, not push, like go get what’s wrong with you. Get off your ass, go do this thing. Bah, you know, not, not like that, not being a nag, but, but give you the nudge to be like, Hey, this is,

Charlynne Boddie: be a cheerleader. Yeah.

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Yeah.

Charlynne Boddie: you know, you’ve got we need cheerleaders and I certainly wouldn’t have gotten to You know the white house. I wouldn’t have had that encouragement Without the mentors and the cheerleaders I had who by and large [00:45:00] scott are men In my life that always told me you can do it Um, and then you know hollywood too, there’s so many Mentors I had along the way to get my crazy Xtreme Dreams and you know When God opened those doors for me and led my feet to the right mentors That said, oh sure you can do that.

They never told me I couldn’t do it Even though a lot of people laughed when they heard about some of those dreams They never laughed in my face about it And I think you know for me it’s you know having that ability to do the same and pay it forward for others Is what I really feel like God told me to do.

He’s like You have lived incredible dreams. You’ve worked for the most powerful man in the world, who is America’s Commander in Chief. You’ve done assignments with three U. S. Presidents. And then you turn around and go, oh, I think I’d like to have my own show on Hollywood. And, you know, a lot of people laughed at that.

They’re like, you are out of your mind. Even when I said I wanted to work for the President, they were like, are you kidding me? [00:46:00] Uh, this is crazy. You can’t just wake up one day and do that. But that’s kind of what happened. And I, you know, coached myself first. Had those great cheerleaders, you know, whispering in my ear, you can do it, you can do it, honey.

And, and then got there, and then everybody stopped laughing. And then I decided, well, don’t be teaching about Xtreme Dream, unless you’re living it. And I’ve always lived that Xtreme Dream lifestyle, so that my life is an example of that. Of what anybody can do, you know, given, you know, good advice, cheerleading, and really taking bite sized doable chunks of something that looks impossible, and then seeing every single one of my clients, and I’m talking hundreds of people all over the globe, um, who’ve spent some time with me.

Seeing them walk into their dreams. You know, one family just did a weekend celebration recently with me, Scott. They said, we look at both sons, you know, boards and [00:47:00] everything on both of my son’s boards has become a reality. It said this dad, he goes, we want you to come out to the house. We’re going to celebrate as a family, what happened for my sons.

And, um, it was powerful because we had looked at those dream boards in like 15 years. And to see where those sons are. One wanted to become a multi million dollar, uh, real estate developer. The other son wanted to become a professional soccer player. They got their dreams, Scott.

Scott DeLuzio: That’s great.

Charlynne Boddie: They got their dreams. And they got their, their version of Barbie.

They got their children. They, they got everything they wanted. And the father, the grandpa said, It’s time to celebrate. I asked you to take on my two sons, Char, years ago. You took on both sons and they’re both very different. And he said, we’re going to celebrate what happened with Xtreme Dream. And I’ve never had a family do that before, where they go, we’re going to celebrate the Xtreme Dream [00:48:00] results.

That was so exciting.

Scott DeLuzio: You mentioned your book, uh, earlier, uh, True Grid, uh, tell us a little bit about that, uh, and kind of key takeaways people might be able to expect from the book, uh, that might be impactful for them.

Charlynne Boddie: Okay. Well, when you grab, um, a hard copy of, uh, True Grid, like I said, it’s on Amazon, uh, eBooks for Kindle and also Audible, um, if you want me to read it to you, um, you will see a series of chapters that take you through real life stories of people. And of course I’ve changed their names to protect them, but I’ve tell stories of people that I’ve actually helped.

And I, um, will also put in there a couples chapter, Scott. As well as the singles chapter, because the dynamics of walking out purpose and vision for singles, as you can imagine, is very different than working with couples or a family. For instance, this working with me, or a young person, it’s very different.

So I tell a little bit of those real life [00:49:00] stories from different age groups. And then I’m also going to give you the grid itself. So everything I’ve described here in this podcast is actually in the book. You will see how to fill out the grid. I will walk you step by step how to do that. And all three parts of your life, body, soul, spirit, and all three time periods, the next 30 days, the next one to six months, the next one to five years for your grid.

I will also give you the 10 road signs to what to expect, to know what to expect, if you choose to walk out the Xtreme Dream journey for your own life.

Scott DeLuzio: Awesome. And, and you said you narrated the audio book,

Charlynne Boddie: Yeah, yeah, the Audible book. Yep. If you go to Audible, you will hear me, uh, reading it to you. You can do that. And my other book is there as well. And, um, that’s No Appointments Necessary. And it really shows you if you choose to live out the Xtreme Dream lifestyle, what does your life look like? So in [00:50:00] that second book I wrote, No Appointments Necessary, which is also Amazon, Kindle, and it’s also available on Audible.

Um, I walk you through what my Xtreme Dream life looks like. And how much fun it is, and it’s in seven different countries. So that book is split up by countries. So we start in America, but I think I end up in Israel, but it tells you about my life in Germany. And yes, there are military stories in there.

Um, really just, um, you know, great experiences in my life that let you know that, um, if you choose to live on that lifestyle where you’re watching your boundaries, you’re living life to the full, You’re having a lot of fun and you’re drawing the people into your life, Scott, that are going to help you, uh, be that person that you want to be and walk out that dream that you have.

All of that you will see in the second book, but the first book, True Grid, actually shows you how to get that journey started. What are the pitfalls? What do you want to [00:51:00] avoid? And what are those things you want to run toward with gusto?

Scott DeLuzio: awesome. Awesome. Awesome. And I’ll have links to all of that in the, uh, show notes and everything else that we, we talked about here today as well. Um, you know, including your, you know, any social media, uh, Uh, ways to connect with you and in things along those lines as well. So, so folks, uh, if you’re looking to get in touch, uh, you know, you can just check out the show notes, grab a copy of the book, definitely grab a copy of the book, um, cause it feels like that will help, uh, kind of fill in some of the gaps.

I know we talked about a bunch of this stuff today on the episode, but, uh, You know, some of the, the how to’s maybe are, uh, a little bit missing from the episode, which is, which is fine because I don’t want to give everything away. Give, give people a reason to get the, get a copy of that book. But, um, you know, but, but in all seriousness, uh, you know, having, having a copy of the book will, will help you, uh, kind of guide you along the way and fill in some of the blanks, uh, of, of some of the [00:52:00] things that maybe we didn’t cover, uh, today in this episode.

Um, Charlotte, it’s been. Uh, a pleasure having you on, uh, before we wrap up the show, uh, I do want to, uh, just add a little bit of humor. Um, I always like to add a little humor at the end of the episodes.

Charlynne Boddie: yay.

Scott DeLuzio: and my kids, uh, for Father’s Day, they got me this Dad Jokes book. And so that’s what I’m using now, um, because it’s got, uh, Uh, I don’t know however many pages, 100 something pages, 200 pages of dad jokes.

And so I don’t think it’s going to get old. So, uh, well it probably will get old to somebody, um, because, but I’m a dad and dad jokes are kind of my wheelhouse. So, um, this is good. So here we go. Uh, one day there’s a teacher sent the, uh, class troublemaker to the principal’s office and the principal asked, do you know why you’re here?

And the kid hesitated and he said, uh, because of this morning and, you know, trying to be vague and not. [00:53:00] Allude to too many things that he might have done, right? And the prince goes, yep. Your teacher says you ran in the hall, you hit two students, you started a food fight in the cafeteria, and you cursed at one of your classmates.

And the kid goes, well, boy, that’s a relief. I thought you found out that I broke your car windshield.

Charlynne Boddie: Oh my gosh.

Scott DeLuzio: A

Charlynne Boddie: Oh dear.

Scott DeLuzio: little bit of trouble.

Charlynne Boddie: Uh, yeah.

Scott DeLuzio: anyways, well, thank you again for taking the time to come on and sharing the, uh, kind of lessons and the, the strategies that you’ve used with other folks to help them along their journey and figuring out how to, uh, you know, find their purpose.

You know, repair marriages and other relationships that they may have in their lives. Uh, and, and, uh, you know, working with, with those types of folks. So thank you again.

Charlynne Boddie: You know what, Scott? It’s always my pleasure to be with anyone connected to our military community. Love you guys, [00:54:00] whether you’re serving, reservist, veteran, whatever. Love the men and women of our nation. I’m so very I’m so proud of what you have accomplished, um, what you’ve done for us as a nation and just respect you all and admire you.

So it’s my pleasure, all of that to say, it’s my pleasure to be here with you today and I just hope and pray your listeners are encouraged where they are with the things we shared today.

Scott DeLuzio: Excellent. Well, thank you again. Appreciate it.

Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to support the show, please check out Scott’s book, Surviving Son on Amazon. All of the sales from that book go directly back into this podcast and work to help veterans in need. You can also follow the Drive On Podcast on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, YouTube, and wherever you listen to [00:55:00] podcasts.