Episode 421 Rich Ingram Raw Resilience and Overcoming Adversity Transcript
This transcript is from episode 421 with guest Rich Ingram.
Scott DeLuzio: [00:00:00] Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we are focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community. Whether you’re a veteran, active duty, guard, reserve, or a family member, this podcast will share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let’s get on with the show.
Hey, everyone. Welcome back to Drive On. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And today, my guest is Rich Ingram. Rich is a motivational speaker, an endurance athlete, and a combat wounded army veteran. He’s known for his keynote speech, Raw Resilience, and Rich, Uh, shares his journey from surviving a roadside bomb attack to becoming the first combat wounded amputee to commission as an army officer.
And today we’ll discuss his incredible story, the concept of raw resilience that he talks about and how veterans can apply these lessons in their [00:01:00] own lives. So, uh, before we get into all that Rich, uh, really it’s a pleasure to have you on the show. Uh, thanks for being here.
Rich Ingram: Yeah, thanks for having me, Scott. I appreciate it.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, you bet. Um, I, I briefly mentioned in the intro, um, the, uh, the roadside bomb, uh, attack that you survived.
Um, can you tell us a little bit about, uh, you know, kind of what happened that day? This was back in 2005, I believe. Is that correct?
Rich Ingram: Yeah, that’s right. So it was in 2005, it was my first deployment. We were about, about three months into deployment. So we were in, uh, just southwest of Baghdad. So a lot of, a lot of folks might remember it as a triangle of death back then. So Lutafia, Yusufia, Mamadia. So we were, we were somewhere around Yusufia and, uh, you know, at that time we, we didn’t have MRAPs.
We just regular Humvees. And I think we just started getting the UpArmor Humvees. And, uh, so I was a rear gunner on the 50 on, uh, on this patrol. So I was in a scout platoon [00:02:00] and so we’re four vehicle Humvee patrol. And, and, you know, I, you know, I’ll just tell you, I found every bit of my purpose in the military.
You know, I volunteered for every mission that I could. And, and, you know, just trying to fill, fill the shoes of the guys that have gone before us, you know? And, and so. Um, that that’s why it was so devastating. And instead of, you know, getting the fight that I envisioned, uh, we struck a, an I. D. And so, um, being the rear gunner, like, I didn’t see the blast.
I didn’t see, you know, Any, anything, I just remember getting catapulted in the air and then we were thrown into a roll. But during that time, you know, you’re taught as a gunner, you drop down and grab the radio mount in, in, in a rollover. And so that’s what I tried to do. And, and maybe I, and maybe I did it well.
Um, but I, I just remember, you know, The, you know, saying to myself over and over again, lights out, say a prayer, [00:03:00] because I knew I was going to die. I mean, we, we, we had, uh, you know, back at, back at Fort Stewart before we deployed, a gunner died in a rollover. I mean, you know, and that was in training and, but, uh, some, somehow I got thrown out of the, of the turret and I remember hitting the ground.
It was like, kind of a meta moment, like, is this real? And, but when I looked up, I saw my driver was now unconscious in the passenger seat of, of the Humvee. And, and so, when I went to move towards him, that’s when I felt what I thought was a break in my arm. And, and so, you know, cause when, when you have that, When you have that kind of, uh, traumatic injury, you’re, it takes a while for your nerves to catch up.
And so when I went to feel for the break, my hand just did nothing. And so when I, when I looked down, I see my, my arm mangled, lying on the ground, [00:04:00] connected by a piece of tissue, no, no bigger than your pinky finger. And so now I’m back in this, I’m going to die again mode. And so, you know, I picked my arm up and ran with it.
And so I just cradled it and ran and started, you know, kicking the home V door, tourniquet, tourniquet. And this driver, I mean, he had just caught up with us, I think like two weeks prior, he’s 18 years old, like right out of basic training. And I mean, he. He executed flawlessly. I mean, once he came to, he put the tourniquet, he, you know, reached in my pocket, put a tourniquet on, and everybody, you know, set up a security perimeter.
Unfortunately, we weren’t in a firefight, um, or anything like that. I think we’ve taken some small arms fire, but that’s it. You know, we just waited for the, um, medevac to arrive. And so that, that was kind of how everything went down. My, my squad leader as well. So he was, uh, you know, TC truck commander, all of a [00:05:00] sudden when I’m leaned up against the Humvee, we, we hear him saying, would someone please get this Humvee off me?
Well, he got ejected as well. I guess during the blast at some point, the vehicle landed on. And, and, yeah, but it was supporting his, his the hum his helmet was supporting his body, like the weight of the Humvee. So, I mean, somehow that Kevlar helmet had gotten, you know, turned around and, and the, the leaf springs of the Humvee, I guess were sitting on it.
And I mean, his head would’ve gotten smashed, but. He, he suffered some, some, um, some injuries as well, obviously broken back and some, some, some other stuff. But, uh, yeah, so, you know, fortunately, no one, no one was killed, um, during that, during that attack. But, uh, yeah, that was it, man, to change my life.
Scott DeLuzio: man, you have just given me like a greater respect for all of the, uh, the, the heavy equipment that we had to wear, uh, that a lot of times I’d be out there in the [00:06:00] heat cursing it because it’s like, this is so damn heavy and hot and, you know, but I mean, that Helmet saved his life, right? Um, that if it wasn’t for that helmet, um, you know, that, that unfortunately would have had a tragic ending.
Um, you know, not, not to say that it wasn’t tragic in its own way, but, uh, uh, you know, and even more so with a loss of life, um, you know, but. I can only just imagine. I mean, I haven’t had an experience like the one that you had where, you know, probably adrenaline pumping, uh, you know, the nerves, like you said, the nerves didn’t catch up, uh, you know, right away.
Um, and then you, you see your arm laying there on the ground, um, and kind of. Pick it up and run with it. Like what’s, what’s going through your head at that point? Uh, I mean, it, it can’t be anything good. Obviously you said like, well, this is, this is going to be it. But I mean, you know, was it like, I don’t, I don’t, what, what had to be going through there?
Rich Ingram: dying here. [00:07:00] That’s what’s going through my head. You know, because during, during the, when the vehicle, after the vehicle sustained, you know, the initial blast, I can’t control that. Right? I mean, there’s only so much that I can do, but, um, you know, I know that the pernicket’s going to stop the bleeding.
And I’m, I can do something about that. And so, um, but yeah, that was the first thing. It’s like, I’m, I’m not, I’m not fucking dying in this country. You know, that’s, that’s not in the cards for me. And, and so, you know, from there, I knew, I mean, I knew my arm was gone, right? Uh, one of my best friends came over, held my hand.
Um, they were getting upset at me cause I was closing my eyes. And, and it’s like, dude, it’s July. It’s 120 degrees. You know, there’s no shade and I’m at this point, I’m laying down. So, you know, Paul, Paul held my hand the whole way to the chopper. And I remember when we’re running the chopper, he’s like, as much as you can whisper with prop wash [00:08:00] and everything, but he’s like, guys, watch, watch his arm is falling off the stretcher.
And I’m like, dude, I can hear you. You know, like, I mean, cause it, it, it literally was attached by something like this. And, but I’ll never forget once I got put on that, uh, on that helicopter, Paul. Like on my hand, and he said, you’re gonna be all right, man. I’ll see you soon. And he was killed a month later.
Um, yeah, and I’ll never forget when I got a phone call because he and I were really close. And that was when I first learned, like, are you sitting down? You know, I mean, I fell out. Um, but, uh, but, you know, everybody did their job. And that was, that was what, uh, saved, saved my life. I mean, everybody had had a place to be a job to do.
And. They did it because we had trained to, you know, execute during this, this kind of time.
Scott DeLuzio: yeah, and I think that’s one of those things that you hear from people in these kind of situations where it’s like it’s almost like a reflex [00:09:00] because you’ve trained on it so much muscle memory, maybe whatever you want to call it, where you just Do your job. And, you know, like that young kid who was just out of basic training, who put the tourniquet on your arm, like that’s something he probably only learned how to do just a few months prior, you know, like nobody knows, like nobody does tourniquets, like just, you know, For fun, you know, like before, before you need to know how to do that, uh, you’re in that type of position, um, whether it’s a paramedic or military, whatever, like most people don’t know how to do that.
Um, so likely he just learned how to do that just a little while ago and, and here he is now, holy crap, now I got to put this thing on somebody. Um, You know, that’s man, thank God for the training. Right. Um, so
Rich Ingram: Yeah.
Scott DeLuzio: you had this not here, uh, kind of attitude. I’m not going out here, not in this country, not now, not this way kind of thing.
Right. [00:10:00] Um, and I gotta imagine that kind of led to this concept of raw resilience that you talk about, right? Like, uh, how does it. Kind of apply, uh, you know, and, and how do you use that, that kind of a concept to over overcome challenges like this and other challenges in, in folks lives.
Rich Ingram: Yeah, you know, so, um, raw, raw resilience, I mean, it took me a while to, um, kind of figure out when I was looking back, okay, I’ve had a couple different defining moments in my life where I’ve had to reinvent myself, so to speak, uh, because even whether you’ve, you’ve, uh, had a traumatic injury or you’re just You know, um, ETS and like ETS is tough, man, you know, because especially your, your, your 20 years or a lifer or whatever, or, you know, either short term service, you’ve done two, three deployments coming out of fifth gear like that and going into the civilian world, it is [00:11:00] transformational and most of us suffer.
Um, you know, especially guys that are coming out of direct action units, you know, it’s just different. And so, for me, you know, like, I’m going through, I’m going through a slump right now. And the reason is because, um, I failed this week, this weekend, I had a, I had a race and it’s the first race that, uh, I, I, a DNF, as we call it.
So, I got a D not, do not finish. And, and, um, and that stings, man. Like, it hurts. Like, I failed. And so, what this process has taught me is the first thing that I did. It was a night race, so I got some sleep first. But next thing was like, what could I have done differently? And what will I do differently for the next time?
Um, there, there is no, you know, I’m not saying it makes things easier. Um, but it makes them a lot shorter, right? So the, the emotions, the emotions that we feel a lot of times of, you know, whether it’s not feeling worthy or [00:12:00] having issues, you know, reconnecting, cause that’s one of the biggest things is like people, a lot of people we feel don’t understand us and we’re not far off from that.
A lot of people can’t understand us cause they, they don’t, they haven’t been in our, our situations. And so, you know, for us, um, that’s a big deal, but, but, but, Raw resilience, the framework that I came up with, what it does is, and it’s three things, it’s purpose, mindset, process. So purpose, mindset, process in that order.
And so we, we start by finding what our purpose is. And it’s just asking why repeatedly, you know, um, you feel like you, okay, this is your purpose. Okay. Why? Uh, because of this. Okay. Why? And we keep going down. And I always say, if, you know, if you’re driving and you get hit by a Mac truck You’re in a hospital and you know, a paraplegic or whatever, will your purpose still be the same?
If it will not be, then that’s not your purpose. You need to go deeper with it, [00:13:00] right? Um, and so, you know, for me, I looked at my soldiering being my purpose. Um, I’ve looked at running being my purpose because I’m addicted to it for many reasons, which I’m sure we’ll get to. Um, but that’s, that’s where I always start, is that purpose, and, and then following the process, so going into our mindset, is exactly, you know, like, after this weekend, the first thing I do is like, how can I turn this This negative into a positive outcome.
And I’ll tell you right now immediately what I did. Um, so, you know, I dipped Copenhagen in, uh, like a Banshee and, um, and, and, and I go in and I started reading all these medical studies on thermal regulation of your body and how nicotine affects that. And, you know, it’s a vasoconstrictor. So your, your muscles go as an endurance runner.
Running in 97 degree heat, your blood, if your vessels are constricted, [00:14:00] blood can’t get to your muscles as well or as quickly, which means oxygen can’t get to them as quickly. So you’re literally starving your muscles for oxygen. And on, you know, on, on top of that, um, your body, your, your skin flow, that’s how we, your skin blood flow is, uh, is diminished or, or, you know, minimalized.
From the nicotine, which is how you cool down your body. So, um, I immediately, I stopped dipping. And so I’m not using that as like, this is a reason that I’m, you know, I’m only what, three, four days in now. Um, so I’m wanting, I’m wanting to, you know, pull my little hair I have out. Um, but that’s, but that’s the mindset that that’s, that’s the mindset process.
And then process is what I, it’s, it’s kind of around a challenge immersion. And so what it is, is aligning something with your, with what you love doing with your purpose, and then immersing yourself in that challenge and you’re working on it. Every single day to, to [00:15:00] pursue whatever it is. So for me, one of my biggest challenges is ultra running.
So I have a hundred miler next month. So, you know, that aligns with my purpose, which is to motivate and inspire. And so I do something every day towards that goal. What this does is it resiliently postures me to. Tackle adversity. Now, not just, you know, any kind of adversity, but unforeseen adversity. So, I’m going to react differently because I’ve gone through these three steps and continue to go through and practice these, you know, whether you want to call them a battle drill or whatever, I’m now in a better position to You know, tackle those unforeseen events because it’s just another part of the process.
Another part of the journey, um, is coming along. And so that’s how I use it. I know it’s kind of a long, long winded answer to it, but, but it’s, you know, it’s true. I went, I was going through some depression and still am right now just because of this race. You know, I feel like a failure. Like I’m [00:16:00] not supposed to be DNFing races at this point in my life, but, uh, you know what?
It happens and the only thing I can do is learn from it and, uh, you know, tackle the next one.
Scott DeLuzio: Well, I think that’s a great way to look at any sort of setback. And I don’t want to use the word failure because that was kind of a setback. You know, it was like, you know, you, you trained for this race. You, you had, you know, this goal in mind. Okay. I’m going to finish and, you know, finish maybe in a certain amount of time.
And, and you had all of these visions for what would happen. Was going to happen, but didn’t end up working out. He didn’t finish. And okay. So now, now, like you said, uh, earlier, when you got tossed from that Humvee, there’s nothing you could do about that. I mean, when you’re flying through the air, kind of out of your control at that point, it’s like, you’re going to land someplace and where you land is where you land.
That’s, that’s, uh, that’s not on you. Um, you can, you can go, go back and do it [00:17:00] after action report and figure out, okay, what. What can we do differently next time? How do we make this better? And, you know, what were some of the negatives that, that took place, uh, during this, uh, during this race? Let’s just say, you know, the, the race that you did, um, you know, why were these things, you know, going back, like ask why, uh, that’s one of the things that, that we do in, in the work that I do, um, you know, outside of this podcast.
Um, you know, We call it the five whys. You ask why five times and, and it’s not always five, but sometimes on average, it tends to be five by the time you, you get to that fifth why you figured out what the root cause of whatever that, that issue is. Right? And so, Like you, you, you kind of figured out, Oh, okay.
Well, the nicotine was, you know, it wasn’t allowing you to cool your body down, you know, the oxygen wasn’t getting to where it needed to go to. Okay. Well, there’s one problem. Let’s, let’s get rid of that nicotine and see if that, that solves the problem.
Rich Ingram: That’s a low hanging fruit. [00:18:00] It’s
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, I mean, well, it is and it isn’t because, you know, like you said, you’re also wanting to pull your hair out as you’re, you’re, you’re coming off of
Rich Ingram: you know, it’s easily identifiable as a problem. I would say, you know, that, that, that, you know, whether it’s the issue, because I was vomiting uncontrollably, um, violently. And, uh, you know, it was, it was pretty brutal. Um, and so it, yeah, I mean, I’m with you. And one of the biggest things though, is that not letting our emotions.
Control the the aftermath because that’s that’s often what ends up happening because we don’t have a way out of it. There’s no there’s no we don’t have a process for for the next step. Okay, well you know what’s the next objective here? And so that’s where I think you know we’re still we’re always going to feel those those emotions and I don’t like labeling them as negative because we need to use them.
Our [00:19:00] brain’s telling us something but at the same time You know, they lose their power or control over us if we are prepared, you know, for that situation as much as we can be, um, you know, and, and so, yeah, you’re right. It’s not not really not a failure at all. It’s just, it’s a, it’s a learning lesson. Um, you know, I mean, I sat out in the heat for three hours waiting for this race to start at 7 PM.
That’s probably stupid. Um, you know, a lot, a lot of things, but, but, but that’s the main thing is like, Hey, What’s next? What’s next? And, and we’re going to learn and we’re going to implement those strategies for the next thing. Let’s
Scott DeLuzio: And I think when I hear, when I hear this raw resilience in my mind, I’m thinking, okay, keep pushing forward. And tackle the next thing and do it as best as you can learn from, from what happened this last time and, and just keep going because you could have not finished that race and you could have been like, you know what, screw it.
I’m, I’m never going to run another race again. Um, but I’m, I’m [00:20:00] done because obviously I’m not good enough and you could have had all this self doubt and all this negative talk in your head, but you know, how helpful is that? It’s not. Going to help you accomplish the goal of finishing a race or, or getting to the point where you are winning races, you know, uh, you know, that, that might be one of the goals in life is to get to the point where, where you’re winning these races.
Um, You know, but you won’t get there if you just, so you know, all that negative talk that could be going on, and I’m not saying it’s not going on because you, you probably do have a little bit of that going on too. You kind of have to tell those, those thoughts in your head to like, just shut up for now, like you’re done.
I, you’re not helpful. I don’t, I don’t need to listen to you right now. What I need to do is just focus on how do I overcome this? And this is, this is more than just running, you know, for the listeners. So this is. Like any setback, you know, if you, if you lose a job or, you know, relationships or, uh, [00:21:00] God, it could be anything, uh, that, that is a setback, um, you know, in your case it was running, um, but it could be any number of things, um, you know, the, the other
Rich Ingram: mean, I get on, get on stage and, and, and. you know, like, that sucks
Scott DeLuzio: happen. Yeah.
Rich Ingram: trying something new and, and, and it doesn’t and it doesn’t drop like you think. I mean, it doesn’t matter. It, it’s all, you know, but it’s all, it is all relative, right? And, and, and we, we can never plan for the exact thing. But the biggest thing is like, you, you, you are hit in the gut. With, with something, um, what are you going to do? And if, if you at least have some kind of plan in place where, and, and, and, and, you know, like the, my framework isn’t necessarily even a plan. It’s just, it’s, it’s just. Positioning you in a different way. So it doesn’t, it doesn’t matter. And that in the raw part where the raw part comes with [00:22:00] when we’re finding our purpose, we gotta be true.
We be honest with ourselves because we lie to ourselves all the time. And it’s not necessarily our fault. It’s just where we’re at in society, right? Like we, you know, we want to get this name brand stuff or whatever, you know, whatever it is. And, and so it’s like. You got to be true. Are you really that good?
Come on, man. Like, be honest with you or whatever, like, however you’re trying to, however you’re trying to define your purpose and goals and stuff like that, you know, you got to be able to take a, an accurate, Inventory of where you are right now and what, what, what you have, um, to be able to get to where you want to go.
And so, you know, I think that that is just as important, um, as being true to yourself and the whole process. Cause when you do have like, I’ve had negative self talk, but instead of, instead of me like keeping it at bay, what I try and do is I give it, I give it time. I’ll give it, I’ll give attention, but I, but I do [00:23:00] it in a different way.
I’m like, okay, You know, is that true? Like, okay, we’re saying that being, being tough on myself. I mean, I’m, I’m, I, people would think I’m crazy. I talk to myself all the time. It’s like, okay, you know, is, is that what I’m, am I really a dirtbag? You know, what, what would give me, you know, no, I mean, I was violently vomiting and could not run.
I mean, that’s just, you know, could it, could I have finished? I mean, you know, Probably. Was it worth it? No, this was a sea race. So logically, I try and look at everything and break it down just from a logical perspective. And nine times out of 10, the stuff that you’re telling yourself, you realize, like, look, dude, if you just be positive with yourself, I mean, you’re going to come out a lot better.
Um, because Hardly any of us are the shitbags that we, we tell ourselves that we are. And generally the people that are telling themselves that are not, you know, the people that don’t tell themselves that are generally the ones that probably are. So, uh, [00:24:00] um, and you, you know, it’s called accountability. And, and so anyways, um,
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. And, and if you, if you give a shit enough that you are, you know, Hyping yourself up or talking to yourself. And, and you know what I mean? Like if you’re, you’re probably not a shipwreck, you know, you,
Rich Ingram: yeah, you’re giving yourself the time you deserve. I mean,
Scott DeLuzio: Right. You know, and, and in your, your case, like you said, could you have finished it? Yeah, maybe, but would it have been worth it?
Like you might’ve further, you know, cause some injury to yourself. You might’ve had a, you know, heat stroke, that kind of thing. Like it has all sorts of other complications that go on. And like, is it really worth it? So, you know, at some point you gotta know when to kind of throw in the towel and, and being realistic too, like, like sure, maybe I, I can run, I might be able to run a marathon, um, but I’m not going to be in the Olympics.
Like, let’s just be real about it. Like, I’m not. I’m not that good and I never will be. And I’m okay with that. I don’t, I don’t want [00:25:00] to put that time and effort into it to be that good. Um, and I know what my limitations are. So no, you’ll never see me in the Olympics and you know, unless I’m a spectator, you know, waving on a camera or whatever, but I’m not going to be the guy running that everyone’s watching, you know?
Rich Ingram: You know, and it’s ego too, I think is, uh, we think we’re being hard by not, by not quitting or whatever it is, but again, that goes back with being raw, like, you know, and it doesn’t matter what it is, whether you’re stuck in this, you know, just deteriorating relationship, um, you know, and you look at it, like, where else would I go? Dude, if you’re not happy, you gotta cut ties. I mean, that, that’s just, you know, um, I don’t, I’m not, I’m not saying always jump without a parachute, but, uh, you know, when, if we’re living our lives I’m happy. Something has to change and that’s when, you know, we, we, we got to be true with, with who we really are [00:26:00] and where we want to be.
And I think, you know, recently, um, in the last year, my wife and I decided to separate and that, that was, you know, it was not an easy decision, but, uh, It was just one of those things like, hey, we identified, like, we are not happy, why, why am I here? And it was a tough decision, um, but we, you know, were able to put in the, the steps to move forward.
And, and that’s it. And that’s where the keep moving forward piece comes from because, you know, it’s just like you say with, with, with young kids, like, I grew up in a small town. There’s nothing to do. Well, you know, I forgot the adage, but it’s like idle something, you
Scott DeLuzio: Idle hands, uh, something. Uh, shit. I forget it too. Okay.
Rich Ingram: yeah, yeah,
Scott DeLuzio: I think we know what someone will remind us.
Rich Ingram: We, we, we have to stay in process because, you know, that’s when that’s when you can spiral. If you’re not moving, you’re going to spiral. And, and so that’s why, you know, that third step of the process is so important. That, that, [00:27:00] that immersive challenge, identifying something that you can align your purpose with and really, you know, that has a positive effect.
You know, effect, um, or impact on, on your life. And, and, but it has to be about you and, and not about anyone else, but everything else, not to say like, it’s just going to fall in place. You have to work at everything. Um, but, but if you’re constantly feeling, um, something towards your purpose and it’s going to be uncomfortable, it’s going to cause discomfort, you know, because you’re, you’re working towards a goal.
Um, but as long as it’s fulfilling your purpose, you know, that, that, that is one of the first steps in my mind, um, towards, towards happiness. Now, again, I’ll say, well, I guess first time I’m saying this, we’ve never arrived, you know, like nobody has ever like, I mean, I’m talking about a setback that I just went through separate like, I mean, it’s never, you know, Tony Robbins is not [00:28:00] like he’s never arrived as soon as we think that, um, that we’re never going to have these, these, uh, emotions again, guess what?
I mean, we’re going to get kicked off that horse pretty quick.
Scott DeLuzio: Right. And I,
Rich Ingram: that’s what we always have to stay in process.
Scott DeLuzio: yeah. And I, I think the, the key word there is, is the process. And so as opposed to having a goal, uh, in mind, like, I want to achieve X, whatever that thing is, um, saying I want to get better at something and just continue trying to get better at whatever that thing is. I want, I want to be a better runner in, in, you know, in your case, I want to, I want to get better at that, or I want to be a, you know, a better father or a, uh, you know, mother or, you know, whatever, whoever you, you are, whatever applies to your situation.
It’s just like every day I want to get better. Just a little bit better at that. And that’s like you said earlier, that’s really all you have control over. [00:29:00] Um, and, and that’s. That’s all you can focus on. Um, you can’t focus on all the other things that either don’t bring you happiness, don’t bring you closer to the goals that you have in your life.
You have to really just work on those things that you can control that do bring you closer to your goal. And if you’re doing things that take you away from that goal, like you’re, you’re saying the, uh, the Copenhagen was. Taking you away from the goal of being, being the type of runner that you want to be.
Well, okay. Well, something’s got to go, you know, it’s, it’s either the running or the dip. You, you chose the
Rich Ingram: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s it.
Scott DeLuzio: um,
Rich Ingram: and, yeah, you’re, you’re absolutely right. I mean, that’s, that’s it.
Scott DeLuzio: yeah. And I, I think, Oh, a lot of this is, is sort of common sense, right? But one of the things, and you identified this, we get in our own way and we’re a pain in the ass to ourselves. And sometimes you just need to. [00:30:00] Kick your ass and get in gear, uh, in order to figure out, uh, what it is that you need to do to move forward and stop getting in your own way.
Um, and I, I,
Rich Ingram: that’s, yeah, yeah. Sorry, go ahead.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, no, I, I was just going to bring it back to your story here as far as, um, you know, some of the obstacles that you faced, you know, with your recovery and, and then, you know, transitioning into, uh, you know, civilian life and well actually, and you also, you stayed in the military even after your, your injuries, correct?
Rich Ingram: Yes and
Scott DeLuzio: there a break?
Rich Ingram: There was a break. So they, I was, they retired me.
Scott DeLuzio: Okay.
Rich Ingram: then I said, no.
Scott DeLuzio: And you said, no, nice. Um, but so you, you did become the first combat wounded amputee to commission as an, as an officer. Um, You know, that [00:31:00] had to be a significant hurdle. I mean, they, there must’ve been some waivers that, that took place there. Oh,
Rich Ingram: Yeah. Yeah. There, there was, um, there were a lot of waivers. Um, and you know, what was, was so funny is, uh, when I, when I got to Washington DC, I arrived at Walter Reed like two days after I lost my arm. And, um, and, and so anyways, while I’m there, a guy asked me to be on his triathlon team. So, um, I had run a race.
The in the army team are and I didn’t do too poorly. So this guy was like, Hey, do you want to be my triathlon team? And then that decision really just catapulted my, uh, rehabilitative journey in a positive way. Can’t, I mean, you know, cause as soon as I went back to school, um, went back to college and I continued to do these triathlons and then that’s when I, you know, got back into ROTC at my college and everything.
And, um, so it really just [00:32:00] changed my mindset on a lot of things as far as ROTC, you know, I’m competing against. And then, I was like, why are we going to the military? We have all these other able bodied individuals. Why can’t I go back into the military? And so, it changed everything for me. When you’re talking about waivers, funny story, I get a call about two weeks before I’m supposed to commission.
All right, this would have been in 2008, I guess. And, uh, this guy calls me and he’s like, Rich, dude, why didn’t you tell me that you were doing this? Um, I’m aide de camp to whomever had to sign the final waiver. And I can’t remember if it was the Surgeon General or what. And, uh, that, that guy was the same guy that asked me to be on his triathlon team.
Scott DeLuzio: no way. Sure.
Rich Ingram: is that? Yeah, now look, there were a lot of other things, you know, I did an internship with the state senator and he kinda, he got me up to D. C. in front [00:33:00] of, um, you know, some guys that work for, I mean, all the way, People that work for President Bush’s staff like it was wild and being at a senior military college in North Georgia, you know, we had just, uh, some heavy hitters, right?
You know, we weren’t a normal ROTC. We were one of six senior military colleges. So I had a lot of help, but you know, there were times where it was like, hey, we don’t think this is going to happen if we’d like you to stay in the program, you know, blah, blah, blah. And, um, you know, I just stuck with it. I wasn’t smart enough to do anything else.
I kind of knew that, uh, you know, my entire adult life had been in the military. And, and so, um, yeah, I’d always wanted to, to be an officer. And, and so, you know, I just, I just kept following that dream. And, and I knew that, uh, they really didn’t have much of an argument, um, You know, because I was always very stern on if, if someone can meet a standard, who is anyone to tell them that they, [00:34:00] they can’t do something, you know, that was always my stance on allowing women in the infantry, you know, everybody back when that conversation was going on and I, you know, I’ve been out for I don’t know how many years now, so I don’t know where we’re at with it, but yeah.
All these people, you know, rednecks, where I come from in Georgia, Oh, what do you think about them? But like, I mean, dude, if they can run and ruck and shoot a gun, like, why shouldn’t they be in, you know, is not the answer that they’re expecting from, from me. And, um, but nonetheless, you know, I mean, I maxed my PT scores.
I could shoot expert on a rifle. I mean, you know, my toughest thing was, Changing my pants, right? Um, so I just wouldn’t change them. I was just the dirty guy. Um, but, uh, I’m just kidding. But, uh, you know, were some hurdles there. Um, but, uh, you know, I say we, we, we made it happen. I had just a great support, support staff there.
And like I said, I just kept moving. I just kept moving towards the target. And, uh, you know, we made it happen[00:35:00]
Scott DeLuzio: And that’s, to me, that’s pretty inspiring because, uh, you know, you, you look at all the people who are, you know, In the military, um, you know, like you said, there’s, there’s physical requirements. There’s, you gotta be able to, you know, uh, rock, you gotta shoot, you gotta do all these, these things in, in the military.
Um, you know, put your pants on even, you know, um, but
Rich Ingram: sometimes.
Scott DeLuzio: sometimes, you know, if you, if you feel like it, um, uh, you know, but there’s, there’s all these things that you have to be able to do. And. They’re hard things that you have to do, um, for someone who is completely able bodied, no physical, uh, you know, uh, issues going on with them, um, the army issues those physical issues too.
You’ll, you’ll have the bad back and the knees and the, you know, everything, you’ll get those eventually. Right. Um, but you know, for someone like yourself, um, You know, part of your [00:36:00] arm’s missing and that makes things a whole lot more difficult, but if you can still do it, I mean, I, I don’t see a problem with it.
You know, if you, you still can do all the things that are expected of you. Um, you know, why not, uh, have someone, I mean, someone with the resilience and the attitude that you have, hell yeah, I’d want you, you know, like that’s, that’s the exact kind of person that the army wants, the military wants is someone with that.
You know, can do attitude and don’t, don’t get in my way because I’m going to, I’m keeping, I’m going to keep on going and I’m not going to stop. Um, but there, I know there’s folks out there who are listening, who probably are, uh, in a similar position to what you were describing before, maybe struggling with that loss of identity after, after getting out of the military, um, finding purpose.
Maybe there’s injuries that, you know, uh, unexpected injury like yours and it, It forces them [00:37:00] to, uh, medically retire and, and, and everything. Um, do you have any advice for them who maybe are struggling with, with that identity or just finding that sense of purpose in their lives?
Rich Ingram: I mean, I, I would, I would say the first thing is, and it sounds so cliche, but, uh, You know, find a support network. I, I have to say that, uh, I have been blessed with my family for that. I’ve had great family and friends in my support network. I know that, well, I just moved to Austin, so I’m new to Austin, Texas.
I’m new to this area, but in New Orleans, They had an amazing VFW. I’m talking, it wasn’t just, you know, old World War II guys sitting around playing bingo and, um, you know, whatever, not taking anything away from those guys, but we, from the current era, it’s hard to relate to them sometimes. Especially if you don’t play bingo or, you know, dance.
And, and so, [00:38:00] um, any, anyways, I think that that’s, that’s paramount. I do, I’m, you know, I would like to be more available and have more conversations with veterans, honestly, just because I think that the biggest thing is, um, you have to figure out your place in. You have to and, and, and what that means is like I truly, when I look at my purpose, it, it, it is to motivate and inspire and, and, and so. You know, and that has, that will blossom even more. That’ll go, that’ll, that’ll change. I mean, it’s not just, you know, a stamp that stays forever. Um, but, but the biggest thing with that is that I’m now postured differently. So it doesn’t matter what I’m doing. Um, you know, if I lose my voice and I can’t speak or if I, you know, I lose, you know, have a hurt knee and I can’t run, I’m postured better to take on the next step or to figure out what my next challenge is because [00:39:00] I already know what that purpose is.
So you have to figure that out first. You have to, um, and then from there, you got to start moving towards it. You have to start moving towards fulfilling it. So let’s say it’s, it’s, you know, this is who you, you, you maybe look at who you want to be. I have been in the fetal position on the couch before in a depressed state, um, because of this.
And it was when, you know, when I, shortly after I got out of the military. was the only thing I knew. The second time I got out, it was the only thing I knew. I had, you know, um, and I tried different things in the civilian world and it’s like, man, I don’t want to do this. I sold a, built an insurance agency from scratch, sold it profitably, but during that time, I would rather cut off my right hand than sell insurance.
That’s not, you know, who I am. And, and, um, and so, you know, that’s how I kind of figured out where I want to be right now. So I understand what it’s [00:40:00] like to feel lost and not connected, like completely. But you have to throw everything off your desk, pull out, you know, a journal and just say, I’m going to figure out right now who I am, my place in the world, where I want to be.
If you’re not sure who you are, just try and figure out where do you want to be? Who do you want to be? And then you can get to, okay, what do you have? That will take you there. And that challenge immersive process is very important. And, and, you know, again, mine is more set on running just because that’s, I’m passionate about it.
And that is how, you know, I. That’s how I keep my sanity together and how I show up positively for people. But here’s how that translates, that Challenge Immersive, um, part translates. So, I’ve been waiting on a, to putting a different talk together. And well, somebody contacted me that wants to talk that I’ve been thinking about putting together.[00:41:00]
Well, now they gave me a date. So, I have a date. And it is like, Oh, wow. All right. Perfect. Yes, I can do it. I can get it done. And it’s the same thing as having a race. There has to be, it has to be specific and you have to have a plan to get there. And that’s why it’s difficult is because you have to execute on that plan.
It is challenging. It is uncomfortable to fit all of that in and to get it done. But guess what? You can be kind to yourself, you miss a day, you don’t quite, you know, like, you have a setback, like I just said, it’s okay, it’s part of the process, and as soon as we realize that these painful situations are just part of the process, the less that we allow them to control us, and we can keep moving forward, and, and that, that I guess is the next step, is like, dude, identify who you are, but keep moving forward.
Identify the things that are holding you back. You’re in this, you know, in a bad relationship or whatever it is. Dude, you got to cut it. You have to cut it loose and it’s going to be difficult. It’s going to be hard because maybe that’s the only thing you’ve ever known. You know, you’ve been with that person [00:42:00] since you were 18 or whatever it is.
Um, uh, you know, you’re in a cancerous situation at work. Got to let it go. Um, so anyways, that, that, that, that is my advice. Um, but the, So, I’ll get off, off that soapbox, but I’m very, you know, connected to folks like that, and please, you know, I know that we’ll give out my, um, contact information once we start to get done, but, you know, guys can message me, and gals, I just say guys, uh, generally.
Scott DeLuzio: Sure. Sure. And as, as you’re talking, uh, I have this vision of like a. a mountain. Um, like you’re, you’re climbing a mountain, right? And this mountain, it’s a make believe mountain, right? But it never, it, there’s no top to the mountain. It keeps going forever. Um, and every so often there’s like a little plateau and you, but, but you keep climbing.
So you get to that plateau. That’s like, that’s like that one goal. Like in your case, that, that speech that you’re, you now have a date for, [00:43:00] okay, well now you’re climbing up to hit that, Point. Um, and that’s where, that’s where you are aiming for, for right now. But once when you get to that, you look up and okay, well, there’s another plateau up there and there might be another speech that you have, uh, you know, kind of brewing in the back of your mind and, um, or, or some other thing, uh, you know, maybe another
Rich Ingram: has to be another objective. That’s right. As soon as you
Scott DeLuzio: Always something else.
Right. Um, and I think the, the purpose of that is, is so that we don’t feel like if I didn’t get to this one thing, uh, like in your case that you didn’t finish that race. Okay, fine. You didn’t finish that race. Why didn’t you finish the race? Let’s figure it out. So you can finish the next one. Um, and then.
Okay, now I finished it. Now I want to get better. I want to get a better time. I want to, you know, uh, you know, figure out how to cool my body down better. You know, I don’t know, whatever the case may be. And so that’s your next thing. That’s your next plateau on the mountain. [00:44:00] You’re climbing to figure out what that next thing is.
And the whole point of this is not that, Oh, it’s, it’s useless. I’ll never get to the top of the mountain. Um, why am I going to bother? Um, The, the point is every time you get to that next plateau, you’re better than you were on the last one. And if you keep going and you keep getting to a higher and higher and higher place, um, those, those difficult things that were once difficult to you, they become easier.
Um, not that they’re not still difficult, but to you, you’ve gotten better at those things. And so it’s not as much of a struggle to you and you can now do these great things. You can, you can finish that race that you couldn’t finish before. Okay, cool. Now, now you can do that. I’m not saying it’s gonna be easy to finish it, but it’s gonna be easier than it was before.
Right. Um, and so all of these things get easier. Easier. Uh, I, I, I don’t want to [00:45:00] say easy, you know, but they get easier. Right. And, and, and think about it. Like go back to when you’re a kid, when, you know, maybe you, you didn’t know how to ride a bike or something and, and you know, your, your mom or your dad or whoever taught you how to ride a bike.
And then once, when you figured that out, that, that became easy, you knew how to do it and you could do that now for the rest of your life, you don’t have to go back and relearn that skill, even if you haven’t been on a bike in 20 years, you can still get on it and you know how to do it. Right. Um, Like other things are like that too, where once when you’ve, you’ve kind of figured things out, it just gets a little bit easier.
And then, then you can do bigger and better things. And then you start to see this, uh, kind of snowball effect where things just get bigger and bigger and better and better. And it’s just, you know, uh, you’ll, you’ll start to see your site, your life accelerate at that point, I think anyways. Right. Um,
Rich Ingram: Yeah. [00:46:00] Absolutely. Yeah, we’re on the same page. I mean, yeah, exactly. And get up, get moving and get outside. I mean, that’s, that’s, that’s another thing. Being outside is just for whatever reason just provides some kind of positive, um, you know, psyche. Um, you know, but, uh, yeah, I’m, I’m, you know, and it’s just like a video game, right?
Like we keep up leveling, you know,
Scott DeLuzio: yeah, that’s another way.
Rich Ingram: that. That’s, that’s, that’s, that’s what you’re doing in your lifestyle. When you first get to the gym, it’s like, man, I can’t put 45s on the side, but give yourself a month and you’re putting two of them on there, you know? Um, you know, so yeah, I mean, we’re just training ourselves.
Scott DeLuzio: Right. Yeah. And, and the gym is a good example too. I mean, if you, if you never go to the gym and you never lift weights or anything, we, well, of course you can’t expect to lift a lot of weight, but if you go and you do it consistently, well, you’re going to get better and better and better and better. And, um, you know, pre the weights that used to be really hard for you, you’re going to be like, Oh, this is [00:47:00] nothing I can do this.
No problem. Um, so that’s the same thing with a lot of things in life. And, and so you just gotta. Keep putting in that effort, um, and, and just don’t give up. Yeah. Consistency. That’s a good, good one. Um, before we wrap up, I want to give you a chance to, uh, let folks know where they can go to find you. Uh, I know you do, uh, you know, motivational speaking and that type of thing where they can get in touch with you to, uh, either schedule you for a talk or, uh, you know, whatever it is that you, you got going on.
Rich Ingram: Yeah. Rich Ingram. com, you know, That’s it. That’s the website. There’s a contact section. You contact me. There’s some, uh, some resources and stuff there. And, uh, yeah, would love to have a conversation.
Scott DeLuzio: Excellent. Excellent. Well, um, You know, I’ll, I’ll have all these links in the show notes, uh, for, you know, everyone to be able to check you out there, um, so that they don’t, they don’t have to worry about writing that down. Um, [00:48:00] but really I think it’s inspiring hearing your story, hearing, you know, kind of the stuff that you had going on and, um, you know, how you overcame everything with, uh, With a positive attitude, um, you know, yeah, there’s going to be days that you talked about where it’s, you know, a little down, a little depressed, um, you know, whatever, but we all have those days and, uh, you know, but you’re not alone in that, you know, um,
Rich Ingram: Exactly.
Scott DeLuzio: We all have those and, uh, but you got to shake off the dust and, and, you know, brush yourself off and, and keep moving forward. Um, that, I think that’s the name of the game and, um, you know, that’s, that’s the name of this podcast, Drive On, you know, like just keep moving forward. Exactly. So, um, Rich, it’s been, uh, an absolute pleasure speaking with you today.
Uh, your story again, truly inspirational. So I’m really glad to have you here. Um, Uh, and look forward to chatting with you again [00:49:00] in the future. Um, really do appreciate it. So thank you.
Rich Ingram: Likewise. Thank you.
Scott DeLuzio: Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to support the show, please check out Scott’s book, Surviving Son on Amazon. All of the sales from that book go directly back into this podcast and work to help veterans in need. You can also follow the Drive On Podcast on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, YouTube, and wherever you listen to podcasts.