Episode 448 Teddy Colegate Overcoming Fear with Faith Transcript

This transcript is from episode 448 with guest Teddy Colegate.

[00:00:00]

Scott DeLuzio: Hey everyone, welcome back to Drive On. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio, and today my guest is retired Marine Corps Major Teddy Colgate, who is the CEO and founder of First Coast Heroes Outreach, and today we’ll be discussing topics such as PTSD, moral injury, military transition, and how to find purpose, as well as discussing the role of faith in overcoming fear.

And as a veteran himself, Teddy brings a wealth of personal and professional experience to these issues. And, uh, before we get started, I want to first welcome Teddy to the show. Welcome to the show. I’m really glad to have you here.

Teddy Colegate: Well, thanks for the opportunity, Scott. I really appreciate you inviting me on.

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, absolutely. And I think this is going to be a good conversation. We were having a little brief chat before we started recording here and, uh, you know, I already, I already can tell it’s going to be a great conversation. So, um, Uh, so you work, so you served, uh, in the Marine Corps, uh, and now you work with, uh, First Coast Heroes [00:01:00] Outreach, um, tell us a little bit about your journey, how you got there from, you know, being in the Marine Corps and, and working your way now to the Marine Corps.

Uh, what you’re doing,

Teddy Colegate: Okay. Um, I did 22 years in the Marine Corps and I did 10 years enlisted and then I was commissioned and I did 12 years as an officer and retired and just, uh, lost that camaraderie, lost the, uh, tribe, if you will. And I went out and tried to find that and I found it in a motorcycle club, uh, comprised of veterans and which most of the motorcycle clubs out there, uh, are a large percentage of them have, uh, have military backgrounds.

And then we just kind of came together and decided, you know what, we can, we can do a little bit more. So we created a, uh, a nonprofit and at the time we just took care of Marines and Marine families. And then, as we evolved, I [00:02:00] try to, try to make sure that the mission, um, became relevant to what we were dealing with and, you know, we opened it up to all Veterans and then a few years, uh, back, we opened it up to first responders and, and, uh, and Veterans because a lot of first responders deal with the same types of things that Veterans do.

So, a place to share. Uh, to care and to be protected, uh, with, with your own people, I guess, was, was really the basis of what we, what we did. We also started to, uh, evolve that mission early on and focus on the mental health. And since then we have evolved again and just tried to focus on the resource allocation and the education to be proactive in what those guys and gals need.

There’s a lot of organizations [00:03:00] out there that will, um, that will react to horrible, horrible things. So, the education piece for us and, and getting awareness out that all the special things out there available to veterans and first responders, we try to, we try to put that A and B together. You know, if somebody needs something, we try to find that person that can provide that.

So we do that now very proactively instead of just waiting for crisis to happen. We actually try to get out in front of some of these things that cause crisis and some of these things that, uh, weigh on, on these folks minds.

Scott DeLuzio: you know, I, I think that’s an important piece of it because, uh, I know I, I tell this story a lot when, when folks are talking about their transition out of the military, a lot of times you get information presented to you. Here are the services that are available to you as a veteran now, you know, as you’re making that transition and sometimes it’s.

Packets and packets of information. [00:04:00] It’s like drinking from a fire hose. You’re just getting so much thrown at you all at once. And 95 percent of that stuff you don’t need at that moment that you’re transitioning out, um, you know, because some of it, like you’re, you’re talking about some of its mental health services, well, if your mental health is in good shape at that point, well, maybe you don’t need that right now, or at least you don’t, may not think you need it.

And so you kind of forget about it. Those things a lot of times. And when you get to that point where now all of a sudden you’re in crisis mode and, uh, things are, it feels like the walls are crumbling, crumbling in on you. And the, room is suffocating you and everything. Like you just have so much going on that you can’t think clearly taking the time to.

Figure out what those resources are is going to be probably pretty difficult. And so having somebody there who’s on your side, who can help you out, uh, with that, I think is, is great. An [00:05:00] important, uh, important aspect of what it is that you guys do, um, to be able to help guide people to the right resources, you know, given their circumstances, maybe even geographical, uh, considerations and, and things like that, um, you know, taking into consideration all of those things to get people in front of the right, uh, uh, the right providers or the right services so that they They can get the help that they need without, uh, you know, stressing too much in trying to figure that out on their own.

Right. Is that kind of the gist of

Teddy Colegate: It is. So, uh, me being the, the Dare I say, the face or the cookie cutter template that we are legitimately trying to prevent at this point. So, my journey is probably over a decade, so getting closer to 15 years now. And, um, I have had to struggle, um, And grind, you know, over a decade trying to figure a lot of these things out.

So what we’re [00:06:00] trying to do in our intent is to lessen that journey and the lessen the grind and lessen the struggle for, for guys and gals that don’t have to wait a decade to figure some things out. And so using myself as one of those poor examples, Uh, or the example of not what to do, uh, has, has allowed us to, to help folks, uh, shorten their time, uh, before they start understanding and, and finding the answers that they’re seeking.

So that’s the goal, you know, is, is to improve quality of life for, for folks that, uh, have served in any capacity and get them to living their best life. As soon as absolutely possible. And for me, it, it, it was at least a decade of the VA throwing medicine at you or pills. Um, you know, throwing everything under a, uh, one blanket of [00:07:00] PTSD, um, and, and things like that.

So, there, there’s so much out there that, that can help and a lot of folks just want to understand, you know, why am I like this or why do I do this or why don’t I do this, you know? And so, if you can get some of those questions answered earlier than a decade. You know, then you, then you start, uh, improving quality, quality of life.

And that’s, that’s the goal.

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. I mean, you think about a decade that that’s a significant chunk of time. Um, you know, some people spend less time in the military, nevermind, uh, you know, having to struggle and deal with, nevermind, uh, you know, having to struggle and deal. Um, and the VA. You know, not knocking them. They, they have a lot of great people doing a lot of great things. Um, but sometimes they don’t move all [00:08:00] that quick with, with things. And sometimes it takes quite a while to kind of drill down to the root cause of things. They, they run you through, you know, different, different tests and different, um, uh, you know, types of therapies, medications that you’re talking about, they, they throw all these things at you, um, and those might not be the right things.

And they may not know that until after you go and try those things. And it’s like, Oh, that didn’t work. Well, okay. Well, maybe it isn’t PTSD. Maybe it’s something else, you know?

Teddy Colegate: The, the VA, um, and again, like you said, they do a lot of great things. Um, personally, from my experience, I believe that they are missing the mark on some of the mental health side, um, because everything is blanketed under PTSD. And just now they are starting to understand the aspect of moral injury, and I know that’s on, uh, one of our topics, but [00:09:00] they’re starting to understand some of that stuff, and folks, just because you, you have, uh, symptoms of PTSD, you know, it’s not, it’s not treatable the same, and you cannot put, uh, folks in, in group counseling or group settings That are at opposite ends of the spectrum for symptomatic issues of PTSD because it, it, it exacerbates one.

It justifies another, you know, I had, I had a guy that, uh, was classified with PTSD from being yelled at, at bootcamp. I mean, you know, it’s not the same, you know what I mean? And, uh, and then I had another lady that was, um, she, she had PTSD. [00:10:00] Documented, uh, because, and she wouldn’t get on an airplane. And, you know, the question was, you know, and a couple of the guys were like, Oh man, she must’ve, you know, had a terrible.

Aircraft accident or whatever. No, she, she flew on an airplane twice, wants to go to Kuwait and wants to come back from Kuwait. So, you know, we, we were thinking, okay, well, maybe, you know, she, that’s her jump off point. No, she was one of those processors at Kuwait. So if you’ve ever been in theater, you understand, you know, that, well, shoot, Kuwait is like the, uh, You know, it’s the cushiest

Scott DeLuzio: that’s the hub. That’s like, that’s like, you know, Atlanta in,

Teddy Colegate: that’s exactly

Scott DeLuzio: or Dallas or Chicago or something like that, where if you’re flying and you need to make a connection, you’re probably going through one of those places. And that’s Kuwait for the folks who don’t know.

Teddy Colegate: so, so it’s not the same, you know, and, but yet the, the VA puts all these [00:11:00] people together, you know, and then a buddy of mine was sitting there and, and he’s got, you know, scars from chest all the way to his finger’s tip from, uh, you know, getting blown up and, and everything else and, uh, And it’s like, it’s not the same.

So that’s one of the shortfalls in my opinion that the VA have. Um, and then when they, they throw medicine at you nonstop, um, you know, guys just stop taking medicine. They, they just, they just do. And, um, I had, I recently had the opportunity to go to, uh, the Marcus Institute for Brain Health. So, um, you know, based off of my TBI and things like that and life changing, very educational, but it, it allowed me to process things more efficiently and understand things more efficiently.

And that’s, that’s really where finally for the, you know, the past [00:12:00] 12 years was the first time that I realized that I, I suffered from the moral injury aspect more so than PTSD. Yeah. You know, now, and they’re very, uh, you know, they, they touch and they’re overlapping and things like that. But, you know, moral injuries are, you know, the burden of command.

And did, did I do enough? And, you know, what did I do? And all these things. But the VA, up until I came back and I asked this specific question from the VA about moral injury, uh, and, and, uh. The treatment for that, that was the first time I’d ever heard that. And I can’t be the only person that was, was legitimately, when they told me that in Colorado, uh, at Marcus, it was, I was blown away and I mean, tears were flowing because it finally made sense.

And that’s, that’s an injustice. I mean, I [00:13:00] had for a decade, I had accepted that, Hey, this is just what I am. This is who I am. I’m pissed off all the time. I’m, I’m, I’m angry. I don’t sleep, you know, all these things. I have no empathy. I don’t care about, you know, whatever I care about is right here, right now.

And, um, you know, you self isolate and you do all these things. Because you don’t understand and all you know is, well, this is what I am. And this is what I have to deal with. So, um, that’s the, that’s the difference with the VA treatment and these other, uh, agencies that are figuring these things out. And a lot of these agencies now are figuring it out based off of like operators that.

You know, are throwing themselves at the mercy. Like, you know, I am trying to do right by my family at this point because they have stuck by me for however long and however many deployments I [00:14:00] need, I need to be the best version of me for, for them, you know, and so

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. And, and that’s a common thing that I hear from other folks who are going through one treatment or another is that I’m doing this for somebody else. I’m doing it for my spouse, I’m doing it for my kids, I’m doing it for my, maybe my parents or my, you know, somebody else I’m doing it for somebody else because they deserve a better version of me.

Right. Exactly. Then what I can currently provide them with. Um, and that’s admirable. And you think about. Where people are coming from coming from military service. There’s that selfless service aspect that comes from military service. And so of course, we’re going to have that mindset where I need to be the best soldier, Marine airman, sailor, you know, whatever I need to be the best [00:15:00] that, that I can be, uh, in order to do my job effectively as a service member.

Um, and so. And then you get out. Well, now I have a different label. I’m not a soldier anymore. I’m, I’m a father. Okay. Well, I need to be the best father that I could be. So, okay, right now I can’t be the best father because I got whatever I got going on in my head. How do I fix that? How do I get to be the best father?

So let me do that for them is a very common thing that I hear from other people. And when you don’t, you know, When you can’t identify the problem correctly, uh, it’s kind of hard to treat that problem. Right. Um, and PTSD is a common label that gets thrown at. Lots of different things. And I think it’s, it’s maybe sort of like a Venn diagram where you got overlapping circles, where there’s a bunch of different conditions and you may fit in a different quadrant or [00:16:00] whatever.

You may fit in a different section of those overlapping circles. And maybe there’s a touch of PTSD, depending on what it is. Maybe there’s some moral injury involved. Maybe it’s a depression or anxiety or. I’m not a mental health guy, you know, professional. So I don’t know. There could be other things that are thrown in that mix and they may all overlap to some extent and maybe you, where you fit, um, doesn’t necessarily fit maybe in the nice and neat in that PTSD category, maybe you’re more closer on the moral injury side.

And so maybe your treatment has to be focused more on that. Um, And I know you mentioned, uh, moral injuries, which I only recently found out about myself, uh, probably four or five years ago when, uh, actually through doing this podcast is where, where that term first came up to me. Um, but I had been in treatment for, you know, mental health for years prior to that and never heard the term [00:17:00] before.

And so to your point, when I first heard that, I was like, That’s a pretty, uh, interesting concept, but why haven’t I heard that yet? And I kind of went down that rabbit hole of what is this and, you know, could that apply, you know, all that, that type of stuff. So, um, actually it would be kind of a great, Uh, time here for maybe anybody who is hearing this for the first time.

Could you explain really what moral injury is and how it might affect a person and, um, you know, kind of the overview of that, uh, as far as, uh, moral injury is concerned.

Teddy Colegate: Yeah. So, I mean, I, I’m no expert. All I know is, is what I, uh, continue to, to work on and, and things like that. So let me caveat that with that. Um, but, uh, the moral injury is, is the things that are associated with like prolonged exposure, burden of command, uh, shame, guilt, all those things. And [00:18:00] what happens is, is our, our brain starts to take on this, this burden.

Uh, Ideal that, okay, I did something bad. Well, the moral side of that is I’m a bad person, right? So, you, you lay that, you layer those things on, uh, a deployment, right? And, and say you did something and you had to, uh, make a judgment call right then, right there. Right there to take out, you know, a family, if you will, right?

Because they were, uh, locked and loaded and they were ready to cause harm on whoever was around you. So, when you, when you do something like that, in the moment, um, you’re making a, a tactical command decision. To save lives, to save American lives, to save, save assets or what have you. So when you process that after the fact, [00:19:00] now you’re dealing with, you just, you know, basically took out a family of, of whatever.

And, um, which is not normal, right? That, you know, whether they are, are. And you know, whether they’re, they’re wearing vests or whatever, whatever the fact is at that moment in time, in that place that you were standing, they were combative. But in our minds, we don’t process that the same way when we’re, we’re now laying, laying on our cot or.

You know, taking a break or you don’t process that, process that the same. So, you start thinking about the family that was in that vehicle or vehicle, you know, IED, uh, V bed, whatever, what have you, you, you can’t separate those two or your, your mind can’t morally. So, [00:20:00] so you start thinking about that and then you say, okay, well, I did a bad thing, right?

Okay. So then you, you peel back the layers of that. And then you start questioning yourself and you say, okay, I did a bad thing. I’m a bad person, right? So, so now by doing something that saved lives and it was a good thing or what have you, now you’ve peeled that so far back that now you’re questioning all the, all the things that you do in life and the decisions that you make because of one tactical decision, hence the moral injury.

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. And, and it’s kind of like in, in a situation like the one that you’re it’s almost an impossible decision, uh, to come out. And say, yes, I made the right decision on, on that. Because in one case, maybe you’re killing a family. It sucks. [00:21:00] It’s terrible, but I mean, it is war and things like that do happen.

Um, on the other hand, if you did nothing that could cause American service members to be killed. And so there’s, there’s that conflict where you could do one thing or the other, either way, you’re probably going to come out. You know, questioning yourself, like, did I do the right thing? Was this, you know, the, the right thing, the moral thing, uh, to, to do, um, And a lot of times that’s, that’s hard.

It’s hard to wrap your head around that. It’s hard to, you know, make that tactical decision. Like you, you said, and come out on the other side and say, well, yeah, I needed to do that. It sucks that that was the outcome, but I needed to, um, it’s hard to do that. Now you could probably look at somebody else who is in the same exact situation.

If you were to like remove yourself from that situation and put somebody else in that situation, you might be like, [00:22:00] yeah, dude, you. You totally should have done that. Like there, there’s no question you’re, you’re a hundred percent in the right. And, and you’re good to go. And you could probably look at somebody else, but when, when you’re looking at it, From yourself, a lot of times we’re harder on ourselves than we are on other people, uh, a lot of times, right.

Teddy Colegate: That, that is, that is 100 percent accurate

Scott DeLuzio: yeah, and that’s, it’s hard to wrap your head around that, uh, and, and be able to remove yourself from that situation and just put, you know, even put a fictitious person in that same situation and say, okay, this Charlie Brown or whoever, you know, this other person in this situation, uh, you know, If they did what I did, would I judge them any differently?

Would I be like, Oh, man, that’s a terrible person for doing what they did? Like, no, probably, you know, mostly likely not. Right.

Teddy Colegate: there’s, there’s a lot of scenario based, uh, training that occurs now prior to deployments and it’s these scenarios, um, right [00:23:00] here that, that are now implemented because, um, there’s a difference between making a decision and being decisive, especially in a tactical, tactical environment. So, um, We will always, and I’m not going to speak for all services, but I will say that Marines will always, uh, push and train their leaders to be decisive because, um, you know, that’s, that’s the, the opportunity that you have to, um, um, Make the most impact and save the most lives.

So,

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. A hundred percent. And I, and I think, um, when You have people who go through probably the training that you and I maybe have gone through. It was more geared towards, Hey, you’re going to have military age males who are the, the folks that you’re got to look at, that you got to look out for. And those are going to be the threats.

And that’s going to be the thing that you, you look out for, but then you get in the real [00:24:00] world, you get. Boots on the ground. And all of a sudden there’s a woman with a, I, you know, a vest strapped to her. And it’s like, okay, well I wasn’t expecting that. Or maybe even a kid or, or something like that where it’s like, well, shit, that was not, that was not, uh, you know, laid out for me and it wasn’t something that I’m, I mentally prepared myself for.

Um, and so there, there’s those types of situations that, that might happen as well, right? So yeah, moral entries. They’re, they’re tricky. Um, and, um, you know, like I said, we are hard on ourselves, um, with that. I don’t, I’m not, again, not a mental health professional, so I don’t know specifically the treatment for these types of things, but, um, it’s different.

Like you said, it’s different than PTSD. It’s different than, you know, other types of things, but, um, yeah. It’s important to identify what the problem is, right? And so get, get that problem identified first before [00:25:00] getting into the, whatever the treatment is.

Teddy Colegate: Yeah. And I think some of it is, um, it’s not the medicine. You can’t just throw medicine at things like that. And I think that’s the misnomer that I have. The VA, uh, wraps themselves around and it’s like, okay, all right, here’s medicine or here’s, here’s, here’s more, uh, you know, SS, SSNRI or NRIs or SSRIs or whatever, whatever the classifications are.

But it’s like, um, no, that’s, you know. So many guys stop taking those things because they want to feel and they want to understand and they want to process those things, uh, make sense of it, if you will. And the only way you do that is almost by just exposing it and, uh, you know, accepting it. Acknowledging it that, uh, you know, I, I made the best decision with what I had at the [00:26:00] time and I was able to, you know, save, save folks.

Um, but, uh, yeah, it’s a challenge and, and it, you know, and it’s not just, uh, Like combat related either, uh, I’ll give you my other example that floored me was, you know, when my folks divorced, uh, you know, I was angry and, uh, and then fast forward and I’m dealing with all these things and I can’t.

My ex and I, we had three, we had three sons and I just, you know, was not going to be around very long because I couldn’t process anything. I didn’t understand anything. So for the sake of all of our, uh, lives, I ended up leaving. And. Now, as I process these two things, they’re stacked right on top of each other and the things that I feel, uh, or I [00:27:00] felt as a child, I layer those things on my three sons, you know, like internally, like I feel what they’re feeling and it, it kills me.

And, uh, there’s not a day goes by that I don’t try to, uh, process that and, and make sure that they understand that when I left, I didn’t have a choice. Um, you know, it was shortly after I put a 45 in my mouth because I was, I was done and my youngest son came in and asked me for juice. And, uh, you know, I, I hope at one point, he’s 12 now, and I hope at one point, One day, pretty soon, I’ll be able to share the story that he legitimately, uh, he saved my life and, uh, you know, you can’t, you can’t process those things, uh, when you’re so.

Intune and conflicted because you don’t understand any of it. So, um, so yeah, so I mean the the moral injury thing is, [00:28:00] is, is its own, you know, bridge to cross and, and, uh, and, and it’s a, it’s a difficult one. And I think now it’s just starting to get some traction. Um, so I’m super thankful for, uh, The Marcus Institute to be able to like help me understand that, that aspect, because it is, it has allowed me to improve, uh, how I conduct myself every, every day and things like that.

And the one thing we talked about was, was how when you improve yourself, everyone around you, you know, feels that and things like that. So, um, that’s another thing.

Scott DeLuzio: a ripple effect,

Teddy Colegate: The ripple effect. Exactly right. And, and people think that the ripple effect is just positive, but it’s really not. So when you, when you don’t, um, you know, get this help and, and, you know, accept that you don’t have to be an asshole just because you, you know, you’re dealing with things and we’re all [00:29:00] dealing with something, but it doesn’t give you the right to be an asshole, um, because that negatively ripples to everybody in your family or everyone in your circle as well.

You know, nobody wants to be around you. So that, that ripple effect is, is probably one of the most powerful, uh, motivators, you know, when you feel it and when you see it, because, you know, you, you make that small, like, I’ll, I’ll say for me, I’ll, when I came back from Colorado, I probably had a, You know, five, eight percent increase in my quality of life, you know, uh, well, that’s, that’s doubled for people around me because now they want to, they want to be around me more, you know, or it’s, uh, you know, I’m, I’m, I’m, I’m starting to have signs of normalcy again or, or whatever we, we perceive as, as normal, you know, but, um, so that, that just, you know, goes and it snowballs and [00:30:00] it’s, it’s a really, it’s a really nice thing to be involved with or, or to, to feel when you start to positively impact people’s lives.

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, and when you, when you have that, that sort of thing happen where you’re Doing a little bit better so other people want to spend more time with you and create those good memories and, and have those positive experiences, you know, maybe, you know, as a, in a family situation, maybe it’s a family game night or something, you know, watching a movie together, doing something, going for a walk or, uh, you know, whatever it is, do doing something together versus, Being a part like you may have done before.

Now, now you’re together and now you’re doing something positive, which is going to help elevate your mood and their mood even more. And then it’s like, Hey, well, that was good. We enjoyed that. That was a fun time. Let’s do more of that. And then the next day you do do something similar. And, and. It, it kind of snowballs and, and becomes this bigger thing of [00:31:00] more and more positive experiences now.

Now, you know, instead of just going for a walk, you know, maybe after dinner or something, maybe you’re, uh, you know, going out to a sporting event if that’s your, your thing. If you go to a baseball game or something, you know, and, and now you can enjoy that together. And, and then there’s that next thing and, and something bigger and bigger and bigger and, and, and then it’s stuff that maybe before.

You wouldn’t have even considered doing some of those things, but then all those positive experiences lead up to something bigger. Uh, and, and that’s, that’s, uh, you know, a great. Experience, uh, to, to have, right?

Teddy Colegate: Well, and, and so. PTSD. One of the, one of the biggest things that people relate with that is avoidance, isolation, all those things. Right. So, um, but when you, when you start to open up your, your mind and your awareness that, you know what, everyone’s not out to get me, there’s not something bad around every corner and, and that only happens by processing through some of these things.

So, [00:32:00] um, but again, you know, it’s, it’s baby steps. It’s like, okay, after dinner and, and, you know, Like all summer long, I remember we’d get out and we’d go walk after dinner, whatever. Well, then, uh, you know, as I, as I studied and was, was open more to like my TBI, my, my traumatic brain injuries, then I started thinking about mindful walking.

Right. And, and this was explained to me at Marcus, uh, as well as like, you know, when you, when you walk, pay attention to what’s out there, listen to the birds or the, or the trees or see the things, you know, and, uh, So, when you share that with your family, then they start to do that. You know, and, and it’s just, it’s, it’s one of those things that life is hard enough and the little things that we can celebrate and little things that we can, uh, share together with the people that we hold near and dear, our families, our [00:33:00] close friends, you know, that makes every, everybody better.

You know, and, and ultimately I have always said that, you know, life is not a competition. It’s just an appreciation that we all have something going on. And, uh, you know, but to be able to share the good things, because the bad things are going to come anyway, you know, anytime something bad happens, everybody’s going to be involved and, and have their two cents and things like that.

So why would we not take the time out to share the good things, uh, and whether that’s a walk or whether that’s, uh, you know. Playing golf or going to a baseball game or what have you, it doesn’t matter. What, why would we not choose to do those things? And, and find reasons to do those things instead of make excuses not to, you know, and I think by and large, it’s the, the excuse riddled, um, symptoms that, that everyone blankets under PTSD again, that, well, I’m not going to do this [00:34:00] because, you know, or I’m not going to do this.

And, and, and it’s, you know, the, the negativity of everything and, and isolation, avoidance, all those things that that’s a, that’s a choice, you know, and, uh.

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. And, and to that point, it may even be, and I don’t, again, I don’t know a hundred percent if this is true or not, but it may also be that the label that you assigned to it, PTSD, or, you know, whatever the label that gets assigned to it, almost gives it that permission to, Uh, have that sort of behavior where, okay, well, I’m not going to go out because I have PTSD.

I’m not going to do these things because I have PTSD or whatever, versus have PTSD, but I want to, I want to get better, so I’m going to go experience these things, uh, so that I can get better. It is, is maybe a different mindset to have, [00:35:00] uh, versus I’m not going to because of the PTSD. You know, it’s not like I’m not going to go run a marathon because my, I’m a, you know, Above the knee amputee or something like that, you know, okay, that, that’s probably a legitimate reason not to, you know, why, why you might not do, do something like that.

Um, not to say that you couldn’t, um, you know, with the right equipment and training and preparation, all that kind of stuff, but okay, fine. Like that would be to me, a valid reason not to, uh, do something. But when you have a. Something that is, uh, you know, a choice, like you said, and you can make that choice to go do that thing or to not do that thing.

Um, sometimes it becomes that excuse.

Teddy Colegate: No, I agree. I think, uh, I think the label is a big one. Um, and, and I think that, uh, our, [00:36:00] uh, comfort zone, if you will, um, and, and really it comes to acceptance, right? And, and again, I’m, I’m, I’m my, my worst and best, uh, uh, example. So, for a decade, I accepted that, you know what, when I don’t feel like doing it, I’m not doing it, you know, and, and, and it was all for those reasons, like, you know, I get, I get spun up.

I get, you know, uh, sweats, uh, anxiety through the roof. I’m hyper vigilant, all these things, so I’m just not going to do it, right? So, then, through, uh, some, some psychedelic, uh, treatment, um, a couple years ago through Marcus, uh, understanding a lot of these, those, these things now about my brain. Um, I realized, you know what, I don’t have to accept being that guy.[00:37:00]

I don’t have to, to just say, Oh, you know, no, no, I’m not going to, because I don’t want to put myself in an uncomfortable position, you know. So what would happen is for me, I would present very well when it was a have to, and then you come back into your own walls in your house. And you’re, you’re a raging asshole, you know, because you’re so amped up and you’re stressed out and everything else.

And so what happens there? Well, the folks that are near and dear get the worst, right? So there goes that negative ripple effect because now nobody wants to, there’s no game nights, there’s no walks, there’s no, Hey, let’s sit and watch a movie. Nope. You know, there’s none of that. Everyone goes to their rooms and that’s it.

So, to counter that, you start taking, uh, anxiety medicine before an event. You take some during the event and then you take some to get you on the right home, [00:38:00] right? That’s how I personally coped with, you know, going to a, a baseball or football game with my sons, you know. It wasn’t, uh, it wasn’t ideal, but I chose that I was not going to not give them the opportunity to experience those things because they deserve that, you know, so, um, but what it did for me was take me down, empty the tank, uh, you know, my body would shut down, my, my migraines and my headaches would, you know, be exacerbated for days.

Um, I’d, I’d walk around as a zombie for days. Three, three days after, because my body was just playing catch up. And, uh, so there had to be a balance. So understanding the brain a little bit better now, uh, I can operate a little bit more efficiently and I can do certain things, uh, throughout, prepare myself to do these things.

And then I can do, [00:39:00] um, they call them mental snacks. To kind of keep your, your brain, you know, uh, balanced to be able to, to do these, these things. And, uh, yeah, I mean, it, it is an excuse. It’s a crutch and, uh, and it doesn’t have to be so. And so what I’ve done the last year, basically the last year and a half has made a conscious effort that, you know, when I, I don’t, I no longer accept that.

I don’t accept that for myself. I don’t accept that from my providers. I don’t accept that from the people that are supposed to, uh, have my health and my wellbeing. As a priority, you know, so when you, when you’re not getting things that, uh, you feel you need to, to maintain your quality of life or improve your quality of life, you have to raise your hand and you have to say, Hey, I need help.

Because that’s, that’s, that is the true strength. You know, asking for help is a strength, not a weakness, and you have to no longer accept not being taken care of, [00:40:00] you know, um, life, life, this stage, especially for veterans and first responders that have served in any capacity. You, you deserve to be taken care of.

You deserve to, to live your days as fruitful as possible. And I’m not saying, you know, I’m, I don’t care about the money aspect of any of that. That’s not what I’m speaking of. I, I mean the quality of life that is between your ears and, you know, the physical wellbeing of, of being present in your life and in your family’s lives.

That’s, that’s the goal for all of these, these folks. So, or it should be,

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, absolutely. Um, I know we, we talked a bunch about mental health PTSD, different things like that, that, that we have kind of covered here, but, um, I want to talk a little bit, uh, of another thing that we, um, I kind of found out just kind of digging through some of the information about you and, you know, the kind of [00:41:00] work that you do and everything, but, um, the kind of concept of, uh, faith over fear.

Um, and so, uh, kind of want to jump to that. Um, So how has your maybe personal faith helped you in dealing with the situations that you’ve gone through and maybe what advice might you give for other folks who might be going through something similar, maybe, maybe haven’t figured out the whole faith side of things.

Um, you know, how, how does that all fit together?

Teddy Colegate: but faith over fear is, is one of those things that you have to embrace and just, uh, trust that you don’t know what you don’t know. And, uh, somebody else has that plan for you. And the biggest thing is, is, is. Is you have to believe, uh, pray on what you, you need, not what you want. Right. Um, and, and trust that, uh, it’s gonna be provided some somewhere in some shape, some form.

Um, and it, [00:42:00] and it’s just one of those things. It’s, it’s in the military, you know, we, we, we live, uh, we live a life of, of uncertain certainty. Right. So, uh, I know it sounds crazy. Uh,

Scott DeLuzio: I get it though.

Teddy Colegate: yeah, it’s like, it’s like, um, you know, I know what’s, what’s going to happen and then, you know, the first round goes down range and all, all hell breaks loose and, and nothing is the same.

Right. So, um, but you train for a certain thing. Because that’s, that’s what we are, are geared to do. So then, then, you know, you exit the military and now it’s you figuring out, you know, Hey, what do I wear today? You know, or, you know, what, uh, what’s my hair look like or whatever. It doesn’t, you know, I mean, to me, the military is pretty dang easy, right?

They tell you what to wear. They tell you where to be. They tell you how to do it. And, uh, and that’s, that’s, that’s it, you know, so trying to figure out all these things. Um, [00:43:00] And then what am I going to do? What direction am I going to take, um, you know, so that the uncertain aspects of life, um, we spend more time as a society trying to figure out things that are not even in the realm for us to figure out, you know, um, this election coming up is, is probably one of them.

I mean, you know, it’s like, uh, everyone is, is, is, you know, bashing this guy or this person or this person. And it’s like. You know, you’re, you’re praying and you’re, you’re, you’re promoting the wrong thing, you know, and I’m not, uh, I’m a pretty, I’m a fairly religious person, you know, and I’ve not always been that way, but I was raised, uh, in the church and then got away from it in my adult years and then have come back, but it’s, um, it’s just one of those things that, uh, [00:44:00] I’m not in charge of anything, you know, I’m not in charge of, uh,

of, of the things that I don’t, um, I don’t touch. Right? So when, when you, uh, when you, when you think about your, your pathway and things, some would argue that that’s already been laid out for you. The worst thing you can do is get out of your way, right? Or get out of your own way, because we try to determine certain things.

And, um, You know, instead of letting life happen and letting life come to us, we are so adamant about, you know, go, go, go, go, go, that we, we often lose sight of, of appreciating everything that we have right here, right now. And we always focus on the things we don’t have or focus on the things that this person has or this person has.

But not appreciating what you have. And [00:45:00] I guess a year and a half ago, I started, uh, just what I consider, I mean, I don’t do it great, but I try to try to live a life of gratitude that You know, I’m, I’m super thankful. Even, even with everything silly and crazy going on in my life right now, I am grateful, you know, one for just waking up, one for, for having clothes on my back or a roof over my head.

I mean, you, you, you have to be appreciative of what you have because it’s been provided for you somehow. And it’s, uh, it’s not magic. It’s not any of those things. It’s just. It’s opportunities that, that present themselves that you, uh, maximize or take advantage of, you know?

Scott DeLuzio: Right, and, and you, you either take advantage of those opportunities or you don’t, you get, you get the ability to choose. And so going back to what we were talking about before, you can [00:46:00] choose to isolate yourself, stay inside, don’t do anything, you know, have your, your family go off and do all these activities by themselves and you stay home and don’t do anything.

You could choose that, or you could choose to go with them. And. Experience those things, those, those positive memories and, and other things like that. Like those, those are choices that you get.

Teddy Colegate: Well, and and they are. And, and, and that’s what the, the mindset shift occurs. Uh, you know, and, and it’s, it’s a mindset shift that, that promotes, uh, faith over fear. Because you, you now say, you know what, I’m going to go to that sporting event. I’m going to go, um, you know, watch my sons play baseball, or I’m going to go to walk in, in the parking or in the, in the park, you know, even though it’s crowded on a Saturday, because you are now choosing that you are going to be taken care of, you’re [00:47:00] going to be okay.

And you, you tell yourself, uh, that you’re going to be looked after Knowing nothing, you know, you have, you have no idea, um, you know, what other people are going to do or, or what have you, but you know, that is where you are choosing to be because you are driven to do that for whatever reason, whether it’s your, your, your son, daughter, wife, whatever.

And, and the faith is, is taking that step and, and not living based off of somebody else’s diagnosis of the excuse and the crutch and this label that you don’t have to, you know, show. I don’t know.

Scott DeLuzio: Well, you know, this is kind of a funny story, but there’s a, um, EOD tech that, that I heard about a while back and, um, you know, for the listeners who maybe aren’t familiar with [00:48:00] EOD is basically like the bomb squad in the military or whatever, but they, uh, someone asked this guy, you know, how can you do the job that you do?

Like, how are you not afraid of, you know, the bomb blowing up in your face or something like that? And he goes, well, look, I’m either right and everything goes according to plan or I’m not. And all of a sudden it’s somebody else’s problem. And that’s kind of the, the attitude that he had about it. Right. But, um, you know, so it, it was out of his, out of his hands.

Um, but he had, you know, and I don’t know this person personally, so I don’t know specifically, you know, religious affiliation or any of that kind of stuff. But, but he had faith that it was either going to go right or, or things were going to be, you know, Things are going to be taken care of, um, you know, one way or the other.

And so, um, you know, to your point of, you know, I’ll go to that baseball game or that, that, you know, whatever the sporting event is, or I’ll go to that movie or go for a walk in the park when it’s [00:49:00] crowded or, or whatever. And just say, look, it’s either going to be fine and I’m going to, I’m going to go and everything’s going to be great.

And I’m going to come back home and I’ll be perfectly fine or it’s not. And if it’s not. Then it was meant to be that way, you know, and, uh, you know, just having faith that whatever is supposed to happen will happen. And, um, I think that’s kind of the, the mindset, the attitude to have. And, uh, you know, we, I think we can wrap our heads around, you know, an EOD guy saying it’s either going to go right, or it’s not my problem anymore.

Um, because if they were to be controlled only by fear, there’s no way. They’d be able to do their job, right? I mean, that’s, that’s a scary job to have, right? Um,

Teddy Colegate: and, and the other thing, and this is, I guess, what really opened me up and exposed me to, to this mindset was [00:50:00] if I walk into a crowded room, And something happens? I like my chances anyway. You know what I mean? Because of, because of my background, because of my training, because of my, my decisiveness, things like that.

So why would I already predetermine, you know, and, and dare I say, take the, the lesser, I guess, approach by removing myself from enjoyment or enjoying something with my families when I know that I’m prepared for that. You know, and as long as you’re aware and you acknowledge that, you know, what bad things are going to happen in the world, bad things are going to happen everywhere.

And trust in yourself, trust in the universe, if you will, uh, and, and have faith that, you know what, I’m going to be put in positions that I’m supposed to be in. Uh, if bad stuff [00:51:00] is going to happen, I’m going to be placed in a position that I can help people. I’m going to be placed in the position that I can, uh, you know, be of service.

To the folks that I’m supposed to be there for and, and, and that’s what it comes down to, um, you know, at this stage, it’s like, don’t predetermine or lessen your own life and your own enjoyment, um, because of the what if factors in the world. Because, you know, we’d all be in closets at that point. We’d be in the broom closet or the pantry and, you know, if that’s how life, because bad things are out there, bad people are out there and, uh, you know, it’s almost like refusing to let someone else dictate your life,

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, exactly. And it’s kind of that mindset. I know like after 9 11 people were like, well, don’t, you know, I don’t want to go on a plane because [00:52:00] what if, you know, another 9 11 happens, or I don’t want to be in a crowded area because, you know, someone might blow something up, uh, you know, whatever these types of things were, uh, the, the attitude, the mindset, but then people were like, well, if you don’t do that, then the terrorists win, right?

So don’t let the terrorists win. You don’t want to let that happen. Right. But, but also. If your family is going off to that, that sporting event or to the park or to the movie theater or, or wherever, and they’re going to go do that anyways, with or without you, and I would much rather be there with them if something does go wrong, so, you know. I have the ability to offer some sort of protection, like to your point, I like my odds a heck of a lot better than I did before I was in the military. You know, if I had no military experience, my odds are a heck of a lot better than any of my kids or my wife who have no military experience. So why wouldn’t I want to be there to protect them?

And even if that’s my sole mission [00:53:00] is to, I’m going to go to this park. So I could be there to protect them. And then, you know, eventually, as you’re there, you’re going to start to see, look, it ain’t that bad. And it’s like, You know what, maybe I can, maybe I can throw the ball around with the, with the kids, or I can, you know, play Frisbee or, you know, whatever it is that you guys are doing, fly a kite, whatever.

And, uh, I can, I can actually let my guard down a bit and enjoy the day as opposed to being on guard constantly. But, you know, if, if, what are you going to tell yourself to get yourself in that situation? Uh, it’s, it’s almost like that, that’s not a bad thing, right?

Teddy Colegate: Well, and I would, I would mention to anyone listening that finds themselves in this position. Go to the park, find yourself an overwatch position, watch your family, and exactly what you said, and then assess the threat to the point. Of your comfort and then enjoy your family because that’s, that’s, that’s where it starts and it, and it starts [00:54:00] there, uh, and you get to grow from that because, you know, go out to, go out to eat, you know, certain people sit in certain places.

Uh, and, and they’re going to say, well, I sit here all the time for whatever reason. Uh, you know, I, I, I pick my, my place. I’m not going to lie, but it’s probably for different reasons than other people. Right? So, uh, continue to do those things because that, that’s what makes us human, but don’t give up living every single day.

And, uh, and don’t take that away from your family. Don’t take that away from your loved ones or the, the people you share time with, because that’s not fair to them. They didn’t do anything to deserve that and you don’t deserve that either. So, uh, you know, make that first step. Because it, it is, it is a snowball and it, and it will ripple and you will see how enjoyable life can be even living with [00:55:00] PTS because, you know, I dropped, I try and drop the D off every time because it’s not a disorder.

You know, and, uh, it’s just something that, that, you know, you, you, you have, and I will say that any of these things, um, you know, it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s a rehabilitation model. It’s not a, it’s not a medical model, right? And this was, this was told to me this summer was, uh, you know, when you, when you have PTS or, or a TBI or all these things, you’re in rehab for the rest of your life.

Because you have to figure out how to function every single day, just like it. And it could be something new every day, but it’s not a magic pill. That’s just going to be given to you where, okay, you’re all better. No, this is, this is who I am. This is, this is what I am for the rest of my life. I choose to make it better or I accept [00:56:00] it for what it is.

And I no longer accept it for what it is. And that’s, that’s the challenge to most, most people, um, that they don’t have to accept that.

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. And you’re right. It is, it is a challenge. Um, you know, there, there are choices that people need to make. Um, and you know, full disclosure, I am not for some of the things that I even mentioned in this episode, I’m not a hundred percent great at making those choices that I, I, I put out there, you know, um, you know, I’m not comfortable in large crowds.

And so, yeah, so more, more times I, I may, you know, choose to avoid them, you know, but, um, you know, You know, it’s one of those things where, where you every day, like you said, every day, you have to make these decisions and, and make a conscious effort to put yourself out there and, and, um, you know, eventually maybe get a little more comfortable doing these things.

And it’s not easy. I trust me. I completely understand. It’s not easy, but, um, but there are people out there [00:57:00] who can help. With, with those types of things and, and the work that you, you are doing, and I want to give you a chance to talk a little bit more about the organization, the, uh, First Coast Heroes Outreach, um, and let people know where they can go to find out more information about the organization and how they can get involved, whether there’s, uh, you know, if you need, I don’t know if it’s volunteers or donations or, you know, even just people who, uh, need the support that you, you have to offer, um, where people can go to find out more information.

Teddy Colegate: Yeah. So, uh, First Coast Heroes Outreach, um, is, is our organization. And, um, you know, we, nobody takes a, a salary, anything like that. So we’re all, uh, All in, um, trying to help, uh, one person at a time and our, uh, our channels are heroesoutreach. org is our website, uh, heroesoutreach. org and then, uh, heroes underscore outreach, uh, is our, uh, social [00:58:00] media links.

And there’s, uh, there’s some contact information on our website. Uh, there’s also that. You know, obligatory donate button on that website. Um, and what, what we, what we take our money for, uh, is to get the, we do, we do, uh, resource fairs, um, things like that to get education out there to make sure that people know, um, the help that’s available.

And then we, we also have, uh, Opportunity to provide some sort of, uh, uh, counseling if need be. But right now we’re trying to not do that because it is a reactive, uh, force. And, uh, and there’s, there’s plenty of organizations out there that, that are reactive. So we’re trying to, uh, do the resource allocation and, and the education piece upfront to prevent crisis and to get ahead of the crisis.

So doing that, uh, through, [00:59:00] uh, awareness talks like this. Or, uh, opportunities to speak to groups, uh, firehouses, uh, police stations. Uh, units, uh, military units, things like that. Uh, because there, there is, um, there is a need for that and it’s, it doesn’t have to be jammed down your throat, you know, by some, some, some gal that, uh, is not, is not it.

Not in touch with, uh, with the reality of it all. So being able to do that myself, um, you know, I don’t mind traveling and doing those things to be able to let them know that, Hey, you don’t have to lose a decade of your life, um, to, uh, to figure some of these things out and, um, You know, we’ll, we’ll put you in the right direction and, and give you some of those tools and give you, give you some of those avenues that will streamline your, uh, your quality of life, uh, you know, [01:00:00] and it won’t take a decade.

So, so that’s kind of the goals that we have, uh, moving forward and, and it’s just, uh, You know, it’s, it’s, it’s tough because you never know what your day is going to look like. And that’s okay. You know, as long as, uh, as long as you get up and, and, you know, you, you show that you’re grateful to, to, to be awake and, and to be moving around, um, life, life will continue to, to throw blessings, uh, in front of you.

This is one of ours that allows us the opportunity to help people and that’s what we’re going to continue to do.

Scott DeLuzio: That’s wonderful. And, uh, I am, I’m grateful that there are folks like you out there who are doing the work, raising awareness, giving this information to folks so they know what kind of resources are available, uh, before they get to that crisis stage, you know, doing the, the preventative type work so that they can, they can, uh, preempt these, these types [01:01:00] of issues.

Um, and I’ll have the, the link to the website on the show notes for any of the listeners who are looking to find out more information. Um, I’ll have social media links and all that kind of stuff as well. Um, so, uh, you know, heroesoutreach. org, but we’ll, we’ll have that in the, uh, the show notes as well. So, um, you know, uh, Teddy, I, I want to thank you first off for.

Sharing, you know, bits about your, your story and your background, um, and, and, The journey that you went through to go from, you know, struggling to now, uh, being able to advocate for other folks and, uh, you know, help them get the resources that they need. I think it’s, um, super important that not only people hear stories like yours, where there may have been a time when you felt all hope was lost, um, but. Now, here you are, um, and, you know, showing gratitude, showing, [01:02:00] you know, appreciation, uh, there, there are brighter days ahead for, for folks who are listening, who might be in that same position where you were, um, you know, a few years ago. Uh, and, you know, here, here we are having this conversation. I’m grateful that we have been able to have this conversation and that, um, you know, hopefully.

Some folks will, will hear this, uh, message of hope and, and get the inspiration that they need, uh, from this message. So thank you again for taking the time to come on. I do appreciate it.

Teddy Colegate: I do appreciate that. And, uh, and if I can say one last thing, uh, a lot of, a lot of guys and gals, they, these are the things they struggle with. And, uh, And I believe that these five, uh, five things are what lead to the 22 veterans a day. Uh, so you have PTSD, TBI, chronic pain, insomnia, and mood, which is anxiety, depression, what have you.

So, those are [01:03:00] what I would say the, uh, the fatal five, if you will. And, uh, For me, I live with those fatal five every day, and, uh, I’m able to the closest alligator to the boat that day and, uh, manage it, accept it, uh, acknowledge it more so, where, you know what, uh, now you’re in control of those five things, and that, that alone has changed my outlook and, and my mindset on life, and for those that are listening, um, If you have multiple of those five, uh, or all, all those five, just understand that, uh, uh, hope is not lost and that, uh, there is a lot of, uh, a lot of goodness, good things in the world that, uh, will help you attack one at a time or all five, uh, so please don’t, uh, don’t think that you’re alone or you have to, [01:04:00] uh, deal with any of this by yourself.

Um, Because there’s, there’s organizations that, uh, that will help you every step of the way. So, uh, don’t, uh, don’t fall victim, uh, don’t become a victim and, uh, and don’t lose that battle, um, for you and your family. So, um, you know, again, Scott, I appreciate the opportunity to come on here and, and, and talk and share and, uh, appreciate you doing what you do.

Scott DeLuzio: Well, again, appreciate, uh, you coming on and I, I do appreciate those, uh, words of hope, uh, that we kind of closed with there. Um, there are people out there, uh, you may, might think you’ve tried everything, but there, trust me, there are other things out there. Uh, you can, you can try more, um, you know, keep, keep going another day and you’ll, you’ll, you’ll see that things do get better.

So, uh, thank you again for taking the time to come on. Appreciate [01:05:00] it.