Episode 460 Dr. Philip Agrios Transforming Obstacles into Opportunities Transcript

This transcript is from episode 460 with guest Dr. Philip Agrios.

Scott DeLuzio: [00:00:00] Hey, everyone. Welcome back to Drive On. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And today my guest is Dr. Philip Agrios. He’s the founder and CEO of Transcend Now, and he’s a seasoned self sabotage specialist. He’s a business consultant and international speaker, who has developed The transformative T now method to help individuals and businesses overcome their, uh, sabotaging methods and traits that they, they have.

And, uh, quite importantly for our community, the veteran and military community, uh, this method has been shown to significantly help veterans with PTSD. Um, so we definitely want to get into this, talk about it a little bit more, but before we do Dr. Agrios, uh, welcome to the show. I’m really glad to have you here.

Dr. Philip Agrios: Scott, thank you so much. I’m honored to be here and um, I’m really looking forward to having this conversation.

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, me too. You know, you know, when we first started talking, uh, [00:01:00] about this, you know, I started thinking about all the guests that I’ve had on the show, um, this is episode 460 or something like that, you know, so I’ve had quite a few guests on the show, shared quite a few stories about their journey from, um, you know, the military into civilian life and the things that they’ve dealt with and, and everything that they’ve, they’ve seen, um, you know, and, and, A lot of times self sabotage is a thing that is a common occurrence that you hear about with people.

Um, so for folks maybe who aren’t familiar with what we’re talking about here, can you talk to us a little bit about this concept of self sabotaging and how, um, how it prevents people from following a successful path in their life?

Dr. Philip Agrios: Yes, so with my discovery and my research over the last 30 years, I mainly see self sabotage as a self [00:02:00] protection. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re not an idiot or you know, a horrible person, all this other stuff. You’re just in protection. And what we found was, is that there’s only two things we do as humans, we protect and we grow.

We contract, we expand, we give and take, we’re vibrational beings. And during my being a, I used to be a chiropractor, a board certified sports medicine doc and a functional medicine doctor, I used to focus on thyroid and autoimmune disease. And during my, uh, practice, I was able to discover a trait. A hidden trait that you’re born with that you can’t get rid of that we call the inborn sabotage trait.

It doesn’t undermine you. It actually protects you from the very success that you seek because that success subconsciously is more painful to achieve and sustain. So we go back doing what we’re doing. So When I first found this, I was like, this is too simple. There’s no [00:03:00] way. So I went out to try to disprove it.

And over 30 years researching thousands and thousands of people, not only was I able to prove it, I found a way to switch it off instantly. And it works a hundred percent of the time. So during the process, realizing that it’s really a self protection. And when I realized that to my, not only myself and my patients, my clients, it was a game changer that there was no more guilt.

There was no more. Thinking you’re a loser, all the other 100 words we say to ourselves, you’re just in protection.

Scott DeLuzio: You know, that’s interesting because, you know, it’s one of those things that you said, you’re born with it. Um, But we’re born with lots of things. Um, and we, we manage, we adapt, we, we deal with the cards that we’ve been dealt. Um, but sometimes those cards are difficult and, you know, those things that we are dealt are, are not real easy to deal with.

[00:04:00] And so, um, Yeah, figuring out how to switch that off and manage that in a way that, uh, allows you to move past that, that, uh, you know, self sabotage that issue that you might be having that those limited beliefs, those, those I’m a loser. I’m, I’m, I’m not good enough. I’m, you know, this and that, um, you know, that’s, that’s gotta be a game changer.

And I’m, I’m sure some of the listeners right now are sitting there thinking to themselves, okay, well, Enough with this babble here, tell me more, you know, how do I get there? Um, you know, so I mentioned, I think in the intro that the teen now, uh, method, uh, that, uh, that you have. Um, and so how does this, how does this method work?

How does, how does it help people? Um, you know, are there things that people can do, uh, to, to, uh, get past this, you know, on their own, or is it something that they need, you know, assistance with?

Dr. Philip Agrios: So, basically the T in [00:05:00] the T now means transcend. What we found was that when you use this method, it, you can immediately transcend any adversity no matter how small or big. Okay? And, One of the things we found was that, yes, you are born with it, and the reason why is because I can see children at two, three, with these type of situations, and this personality trait.

And, um, and when they go into their own protective trait, I can, you know, because I have grandchildren and patients of, you know, kids, and so we’re able to study them in that aspect of it, and Now they understood this child’s sequence knowing exactly why they’re doing what they’re doing and then they can actually use subconscious words that would actually connect with that child to help them shift.

We’ve seen Parent child relationship changed tremendously so that’s why by working on that end of it I knew that it was something to born with and when people go well what are all the traumas and all the stuff that I came with and I [00:06:00] basically say is that those allow you to find your saboteur and find what we call the antidote to move forward so basically what happens is is when you have you I have a personal professional, uh, expansion, right?

When you hit that wall and you’re uncomfortable, the saboteur kicks in to protect you. So imagine when you hit that wall, as you start to contract, imagine there’s only one trait to focus on, and that’s the reason it’s contracting. And then by using what we call the antidote, the exact opposite, you immediately have to go into growth 100%.

So now you’re doing this, compared to doing this. So, During the process, I was able to discover that there’s only three traits that make up who we are. We call them the director trait, the communicator, and the supplier trait. Because that’s all we do as humans. We communicate, we direct, and we supply.

That’s it. [00:07:00] Once I realized that, I was able to understand that there was a, what we call the protective sequence. It’s a sequence that’s made up of three, uh, parts of who we are. So it’s art. What we call the dominant trait, which is our superpower, it’s really why we’re here on Earth. Then we have a bridge called the mediator trait, and then the saboteur, so it’s like a seesaw aspect.

The saboteur is another word for the important sabotagement trait. And what we found was, is that when we put these three traits that we all have, place them here, we found that there’s only six sequences of human behavior, so there’s only six people in the world. And then, so if you had a significant other, I can ask you a couple questions, never meet that person and tell you everything about them.

Scott DeLuzio: Okay.

Dr. Philip Agrios: then I’ll tell you how you two interact, where the conflict was, or how and why that relationship works so well. Because we’ve gotten down to a point of that science where how each sequence [00:08:00] work with each other. Right? So imagine knowing, uh. Your child, right, or your spouse, or your business partner, or, uh, whomever.

Knowing their sequence, now you can start understanding them. And we find out now people have compassion to them because they understand what they’re doing compared to judgment towards them. So, those three traits, once you understand that, you’ll understand why, as a veteran, Why those situations, why you’re not having, why those relationships problems are happening or you’re not sleeping well or other things because you’re just in hyper protection.

You’re still out there, everything’s, you know, looking and everything is looking at it. And especially when you get triggered, what has to happen is, is that one trigger is all the thousands of other people or events that’s triggering. It’s, that’s that representation. And what we found out, that trigger is in you. [00:09:00] And by focusing on that trait within you, you then shift what’s on the outside. So one of the things we teach, and it sounds like woo woo, but it’s not, we see this consistently, is that everything outside of you is you. So the person you can’t stand that’s in your life is you. They’re just showing up to show a part of you that you’re not dealing with.

That’s why you’re pissed off at them, like, you know. There’s no way, you know, yeah, they’re showing up. How dare you show up and show a part of me that I’m not wanting to focus on. And when we show this with people, and they start using their antidote and things like that, two things happen. That person goes away, or they change because they still want to be you.

Scott DeLuzio: Mm

Dr. Philip Agrios: So when they have those episodes, one of the things is that I need to start with me first. The outside world isn’t happening to me, it’s coming from me, through me, and for me. And when you kind of have that little thought process, you can start slowly seeing how that works and start changing it and then [00:10:00] seeing how that works and why am I in protections.

And one of the work with your audience, write this sentence down. When you go through an episode or anything like that, any type of resistance, You’re not in the flow, you’re stressed, whatever. Write the sentence, Why am I protecting myself at this moment in time? Why am I protecting myself at this moment in time?

And what it does, it helps you to neutralize as it, depersonalize it as a point of, this is causing me to protect myself. I’m not a loser. I should be able to do this. I was a criminal and I faced all these people. I should be. No, because you’re too close to it. You’re too close to it. You know, it’s that enemy that you can’t see, but it’s not an enemy.

It’s there to protect you, right? You can’t get rid of this because it’d be stupid to get rid of a protective trait. So you need to learn to dance with it, not to [00:11:00] fight it. And as a veteran, you’re just taught to fight. And that’s where the battle comes into play compared to how can I dance with this instead?

It’s a different thought process.

Scott DeLuzio: as you were talking, I was thinking through some of the things that people go through, right, when you’re dealing with someone with PTSD, for example, and they had a traumatic event or multiple traumatic events, and they have those triggers, and, uh, they, they’re in that, you know, Protection mode, uh, really, right?

Their, their reaction is to protect themselves from that type of trauma. They don’t want that type of thing to happen again. You know, whether it was, you know, an IED blowing up or it was a car accident or, you know, it doesn’t matter what the trauma was, uh, You, you experience it once and once is enough. It was more than enough to experience those types of things.

So you definitely want to protect yourself. Um, but then, then [00:12:00] you’re talking about how there’s, you’re almost in like a bubble and, and when you hit the limits of your, your comfort zone, um, and, and you, you kind of have to push yourself outside of that comfort zone to, uh, see the success and get to different levels of success.

Um, It’s uncomfortable. And our bodies, you know, as humans, we want comfort. We want to be warm. We want to be safe. We want to be secure. We want to have food. We, you know, all those things are comfort items. Uh, we want to be loved and, and all this kind of stuff. Um, so we’re going to gravitate more towards the things that are comfortable.

And when things get uncomfortable, we’re going to shy away from those, uh, types of things. So Again, like, it’s a protective mechanism, you don’t want to be too uncomfortable, uh, but sometimes pushing through that and figuring out how to get through that, uh, is a way to, [00:13:00] um, you know, get, get past those issues and get to a successful place, right?

Dr. Philip Agrios: Yeah. It gives you the ability to say, I have control. Because you’ll feel that you are in control. Now, I’m not a psychiatrist, I’m not a psychologist. Let me get that right out. I’m not trying to be one. We had a, uh, we had a, uh, a veteran, 12 year, 5 tour, of course. And one of the things we, um, the first week he found his inborn sabotage and trading antidote, I said, take this antidote and give it to your therapist. Okay? Use this, because it’s going to come down to the core. Within four to five weeks, tremendous changes with that. And he actually found out why he went to war. Something happened at five years old. It was really, it was one of the first, uh, veterans I have at PBSD. I was just blown away. I was so excited for him and how quickly it happened.

So, when people learn [00:14:00] this, you know, take it to the therapist, go down to that deep part of you. So, one of the analogies I love to give, excuse me, is, you ever see the domino masters, they push this one domino, it goes chhhhh,

Scott DeLuzio: Sure,

Dr. Philip Agrios: they say balloons are the last thing that gets released. What’s the last thing you see? Balloons.

Scott DeLuzio: balloons, right.

Dr. Philip Agrios: So, the balloons is your imposter syndrome, your anxiety, your stress, your depression, Everything that you see what? Last. So what do we do? We take our coping methods and put them where? We put them on the balloons, not the one domino that caused it. What’s easier, hold down all the balloons and stop pushing the damn domino.

That domino is your inborn sabotaging trait that causes every negative emotion that you experience. And we prove that. So when you push the anti, excuse me, when you push down that protection mode, the Saboteur, you immediately go into frustration [00:15:00] and desperation, but when you use the antidote, which is the exact opposite, you have to go down to growth, inspiration, and motivation.

100 percent guaranteed it never fails, because you’re using the opposite to that, and that’s really empowerment. The goal is to use your antidote more subconsciously than you’ve been using your saboteur more consciously. So, I don’t care if you go into the corner with a pillow and suck your thumb in a fever position, laying on the floor.

I’m good with that. They’re like, what do you mean? That’s not right. I said, no, that’s just protecting. The problem comes in is how long are you there for?

Scott DeLuzio: Sure.

Dr. Philip Agrios: So, if you’re using your saboteur, fine, you’re just protecting. The question is are you now trying that perfection or your imposter syndrome or other things you’re now coming out and now it’s three weeks, four weeks later, you haven’t gotten really.

Forward or compared to yeah, I feel like an imposter. Okay, [00:16:00] cool. What are we going to do? Why am I protecting myself? And then if you can get through that faster now you continue on Growth in a smaller way on that aspect So depending on what’s on in your life and how long you’ve had it for you I’ve seen people make changes within an hour and a half and other people took two three months because it was so ingrained, but they didn’t realize that That what was happening in the past was happening at the exact same time in the present.

It’s just the same actor, different costume.

Scott DeLuzio: Uh. Yeah.

Dr. Philip Agrios: actually brings all your adversities in to evolve you. I’m going to say that again. It brings those challenges in to evolve you. Because if you think that you’re here on Earth to make everything go well, you’re not going to do well here. You’re here for the adversity.

You’re here for the contrast. And when you understand that God, your higher power, whatever you [00:17:00] call that, even if you’re an atheist, a higher consciousness, the reason it doesn’t speak English or Japanese or anything. Speaks experience. So when you have that episode, that experience, someone triggering you, it’s trying to show you, one, are you really dealing with this?

Are you kind of like pushing it aside? Are you going to the extreme? And now you’re over trying to kill it and whatever the case be. Or, hey, let’s see how we can dance with this and use this as a benefit, a detriment. So your benefit and detriment are there at the same time. They’re just opposite, right?

When I evolve, I dissolve. I have to dissolve in order to evolve. And when I evolve, I dissolve. They both happen at the same time. It’s like when you, when life, you say, you know, things are falling apart. They’re also falling together at the same time. What side do you want to look [00:18:00] at? It’s up to you what you want to tap in and then show the world.

Scott DeLuzio: So when, when you have a person who’s challenged with something, and I’ve used this example before, think about when you’re a kid and you’re learning how to ride a bike and you fall off that bike and maybe you skin your knee or your elbow or something, you know, you, you, you get a little banged up and, and bruised and, and whatever.

And it’s not nothing serious, but you, you know, it, it hurts, right? Um, And that’s a challenge. It’s not an easy thing to do when you’re young and uncoordinated, you’re not used to doing all of that stuff. Um, but eventually you get it. Right? It, it, there’s a little bit of persistence that, that’s required there.

And. A little bit of changing the way you do things, right? Because if you try [00:19:00] riding a bike right now, the way that you did the very first time you got on a bike and you fell and you scraped your, your knee or your elbow or whatever, you’re probably going to fall and scrape your knee and elbow again.

It’s, it’s just going to happen that way because it wasn’t the right way to do it. You weren’t balanced. You weren’t doing things the right way. It’s not going to work for you. Um, But now, you know, years and years later, after, after having learned how to do it, and maybe even doing it for many years, you know how to do it, and it, you’ve changed your internal way of thinking about, how do I approach this, this challenge, getting on a bike and riding, to the point where It’s no longer a challenge, like if I see a bike and I want to go ride a bike, I just get on the bike and I ride it, I don’t think of it like, this is going to be tough, right?

I just get on it and I do it, um, and I know that’s a, like a very simple example, but I think it’s one that a lot of people could [00:20:00] probably relate to, um, you know, especially parents who’ve taught their kids how to ride a bike and saw them struggle and, and knew that they had it in them. It’s just, you know, How do we get that out?

How do we get it so that they can ride the bike? And, you know, it’s, it’s practice. It’s, uh, coaching, it’s telling them, you know, how to do it and showing them maybe even how to do it. And, um, you know, instilling that confidence in them, um, and eventually they get it and I, the way you’re describing it, like that’s the analogy that came up in my head, um, sounds like it’s very similar to that, where we need to just kind of change the way.

We’re approaching this challenge and allow us to utilize other, other skills that we may have inside of us. Um, we just weren’t tapping into them at the time, right?

Dr. Philip Agrios: That’s one of the things I was looking at was like, you know, I took Robbins and Rowe and Zig Ziglar and all the greats, right. [00:21:00] And I had their cassette tapes. That’s how far back I’m going. And, um, you know, I was listening to them and I was still not being successful at times. I’m like, what’s wrong with me?

And what was realized was that all that information, the genius. was all general. It wasn’t specific to who I was, right? And I was using all that information on my super, with my superpower and that bridge I talked about, like in the Seesaw position, because it was subconsciously easier to use it. And that’s why it didn’t work that well.

And once in a while, that information would hit my antidote, which I would not know that it did. I would be successful, but I couldn’t sustain it because I didn’t know Why it happened and therefore I would drop down. So I would be like a roller coaster type of situation.

Scott DeLuzio: Mm hmm.

Dr. Philip Agrios: Once you understand that, so we had a gentleman had a combat injury and when he first started he was gonna go [00:22:00] he had two opportunities to just go off like he had two episodes and he was gonna do it.

And he called me and told me within the first week of just using the antidote, he was able to neutralize it. He’s never done that. I was like, wow, this is really cool. And now he realized was that it was due to his saboteur, him overly giving to other people, not setting boundaries and feeling that people were taking advantage of him, which was like the same thing as, you know.

You know, being attacked, but it’s really him saying, come on in. I’ll be happy to give to you and feeling overwhelmed and his brain couldn’t handle it and things like that. So now he uses those, does he have episodes here and there once you hear in there, but it’s not as severe and he’s able to control it quicker and knowing.

I did it again. This is what I, not like the dumb, dumb butt, you know, dumb ass,

Scott DeLuzio: Sure.

Dr. Philip Agrios: excuse my language, it’s the only thing I can think of, you know, of me not doing that. What was it? It was, okay, I’m just protecting [00:23:00] myself. It happened, no big deal, give myself some grace, and let’s try this again, you know. It’s the old time out, do over,

Scott DeLuzio: Mm hmm.

Dr. Philip Agrios: and you start cracking up, go, yeah, do over.

And this helps me a lot, and I hope this will help some of your audience, is that I went through a lot of stuff. You probably saw my bio, I’ve gone through a lot of trauma stuff myself, and all good I would never be here talking to you. If I didn’t, because I would have never discovered what I discovered.

Like, there’s nothing like this in the world. And I have something that no one else has. And I have no regret of all this stuff. One of the things you can help with your past to help neutralize your past, find the benefit out of it. So what happens is people feel that they have to be forgiven, or others have to forgive themselves, or they want to hear someone to, you know, they want to hear an apology from somebody.

And [00:24:00] I’m saying you don’t need to ever forgive again. And I know a lot of people are like, what are you talking about? If I can find a benefit out of the situation, let’s say between myself and somebody else, and I can find the benefit that I actually evolved from that.

Scott DeLuzio: Mm hmm.

Dr. Philip Agrios: Why do I need an apology from them or why do I need to say sorry? I benefit from it, right? So when you feel that, it’s like, wow, I benefited. Thank you. It’s really a thank you for doing this to me, causing problems in my life and all this because I evolved. You can kind of say thank you to that or find a gift in it. I cannot tell you how many times I used to go, I wonder what gift I’m getting, I wonder what gift I’m getting, like a thousand times knowing that I’d rather walk into the solution than consistently stay in the problem.

And then I realized later, it wasn’t what gift I was getting. I already got the gift. I needed to know what gift I got and let it to evolve and show [00:25:00] me. So when you go through the experience, you get the gift or you get the bomb or you get, you know, shrapnel. In you, that’s what can I use and listen to your podcast and other people, you’ve taken veterans and now they’re, uh, you know, they’re motivational speakers or you’ve taken somebody who’s this and now they’re, so they’ve taken this and turned it into a benefit.

So now they can ride the wave compared to the wave knocking them over consistently.

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, and you can’t look at it like, uh, a cost benefit type thing, like, oh well, yes, but that costs too much, you know, you have to look at the positive side of it, the, the, the benefit, the, the gift that you were given, uh, by getting this, uh, whatever the benefit happened to be, uh, that, that you’re getting from, from this

Dr. Philip Agrios: And it’s not easy, if I may interrupt, is that, guys, this is, [00:26:00] you’re like, well, it’s easy for you to decide. Yes, it’s not, I’m not saying this is easy, I’m saying it’s simple. I didn’t say it was easy, it was easy, it’d be too easy, and you’d be bored, right? So look at how bored you were if you didn’t have this experience.

And I’m not saying, I’m not trying to Little or less than what you’re going through. You’re going through some stuff. You gave and thank you for your services. Everyone appreciate that. And I really appreciate that tremendously. That’s why I’m here. That’s why I became a government. I’m actually a government, uh, uh, contractor because I want to help the veterans.

Um, we just did an eight hour, uh, workshop for the army and, but so. That’s how I can serve them, because I feel you guys are doing like crap. But anyway, um, but I, I really want to do that. So what I’m saying is, is it’s, it’s something the question is, is you don’t have to make that leap. You don’t have to take the hill, right?

You can just slowly go over here, [00:27:00] you know, dig the foxhole, stay in there for a little bit, but not days and months. Get up and try another one and slowly get to it, not where you have to rush it and then get your butt kicked, right? So I hope that I’m giving some good analogies for them to relate to is that just have grace, give yourself some grace, be patient, not overly patient and not impatient.

You’ve got to find that balance and that’s what we found what the antidote does, it brings you to balance from the extremes.

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, and I like the analogy that you gave with, you know, taking that hill and you don’t have to charge the hill and take it all at once. Um, you, you can dig that foxhole and you can, you can sit there, take, take a, a pause and, uh, Maybe reflect on what, what’s going on. Collect your thoughts. Reassess the situation because things change all the time, right?

Okay, we have new pieces of information coming in. Let’s, okay, what’s the good stuff that we can take [00:28:00] away from that? And, you know, how do we, how do we continue with this new information and with this new conversation? Outlook, maybe, on the situation, uh, and, and then we move to the next spot, and we dig another foxhole, and okay, we got new information now, and we continue, and we do that, until we finally take that hill, and that’s what success looks like, it, it’s not rushing the hill and taking it, Immediately, you know, it’s not, not an Amazon delivery that’s going to be here, you know, an hour after you place the order.

Dr. Philip Agrios: Where’s my bag?

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, where’s my package, damn it? It’s, it’s something that it, yeah, it’s gonna take time. And I think one of the things that I really hate about social media is we see people who have had success in In business, in their life, their careers, you know, whatever it is that they are doing, um, it, they post all these successes on there.

And it seems like, my gosh, this [00:29:00] person came out of nowhere. I never heard of this person before. And all of a sudden they’re now successful. Um, why can’t I be successful overnight like this? Well, they weren’t successful overnight. You just didn’t hear about them because they weren’t successful. Nobody

Dr. Philip Agrios: because they were charging, they were in the foxhole,

Scott DeLuzio: Right. Exactly. You know that.

Dr. Philip Agrios: thing with others, it’s like, you know, every successful person went through some major stuff. So, that’s, you gotta, you gotta look at it, that person’s there because they, they chose to pay the price. that’s the question.

Write that down, guys. What price are you willing to pay? So this sparked me. Can I give you the three reasons that I found that fun? Okay. So there are three fundamental reasons why we self sabotage. Get your pens out. This is really important guys. The first one is that you had success before and then you lost it. So if that happened, whether it’s business or anywhere, or, you know, uh, person broke your heart, right? What [00:30:00] happens is, is that subconsciously you actually go there again and losing it, the loss is more painful so you never get to that point, okay? That’s why people settle for different relationships and things like that because they don’t want to get their heart broken or whatever the case.

I was very successful in the army and then now I come out to visit a civilian life and I suck. No, you don’t. You’re just not applying in a way of that end of it, right? So you’re not a failure. I, I, here’s the thing, and I’m going to go to the other two, but I want to bring this, I think it’s very important, is that I used to be a wise ass, especially as a doc, okay, so that’s how I used to teach.

So I had a, I had a patient one time, I really, I used this, and the reason why I remember this was the first time I used this on somebody. She was a diabetic, she said, I’m a failure, I’m a diabetic. [00:31:00] I have back pain, I have tired, I’m overweight, I have all these symptoms. And I looked at her and I said, okay, I said, congratulations, you’re very successful.

And you’re like, how am I, I’m a failure. No, you’re a very successful diabetic. You’re successful being tired, back pain. You know how to do all that. How successful have you been? She just looked at me and I said, now it’s time to reverse engineer that and let’s shift and go back the other way. So failure and success happen at the exact same time.

Which side do you want to look at? So if you’re not success, you were successful in the army, but now you’re successful, you’re not successful in civilian life. Yeah, you’re successful because what you’re not doing, you’re in that protective mode to stay in that protective mode because it’s more painful to bring yourself out based on whatever your therapist and your doctor is telling you to do, right, compared to opening up and surrendering.

You know, surrendering is not, see, [00:32:00] surrendering in a, in a veteran’s is like I lost. No. Surrendering is you’re opening up and allowing what’s inside to come out. Right, does a flower open up and after a few minutes no bees close up go you know what I should have been blue I got bread should have been blue or I should have been on that location because there’s a lot of bees over there No, it just opens up and it becomes vulnerable write this down guys vulnerability creates credibility I’m sitting here, and I’m like all this and this and that and you want to know what what I went through But you want to go you want to talk to a therapist has no idea Who’s been in war or anything like that is book sport or you want to speak to a therapist who was a victim, correct?

So same thing. So by you opening up and being vulnerable, you’re letting it out. It’s like the vulnerability is early spring [00:33:00] where we have winter. We have this ice. Well, what has it has to heat up. Well, when it heats up, what happened? It melts. So the ice surrenders the water. In order for the water to malnourish the foliage,

Scott DeLuzio: Sure.

Dr. Philip Agrios: look at surrendering is I got to open up and look, and I’m not saying open up because your brain’s going, what do you, I didn’t mind, open up a little bit, 10 percent a day, a little bit more, a little bit more until you’re comfortable.

And then it’s like the frog in the, you know, heating up, boiling, right? But the opposite way of just opening up a little bit more. So that’s number one. Number two is that, that you’re sidestepping what’s necessary. You’re not doing what’s necessary to get to that point. I mean, I got to listen to these podcasts.

You know, I got to go and maybe get a, read a book or take a course or do this or go back to school. You know what? There’s a great Netflix series coming out. I’m gonna binge watch that [00:34:00] and then I’ll get back to it. It’s not gonna happen. So what happens is you sabotage yourself getting that point because it’s more painful to get to that point than not.

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, it’s much easier to binge watch the Netflix series than it is to go to

Dr. Philip Agrios: Until maybe your

Scott DeLuzio: the

Dr. Philip Agrios: is now screaming at you or now you’re going to be Uh, foreclosed and now you get your ass moving because the pain is less, right? What we’re trying to do is showing you how to start moving and not wait for the universe to come in and smack you in the head Going, okay. Let’s get this going.

Let you do it first In order for that pain to be less painful. The third one is more success equals more pain. So the analogy would be like in business where someone, and there are veterans here that are most likely in business, you ever have a really great month and then next month it sucked. Why?

Because it was so overwhelming. Maybe you didn’t have enough automation, you don’t have enough staff or [00:35:00] whatever the case may be. Now you’re never going to see your children or your family or now you’re so overwhelmed. You can’t. Supply and serve people the way you want them, so the next month you drop it down.

So, look in your life, where was I successful, and then again, it was more painful as things started to happen. You know, maybe you’re opening up and people are coming to you and you’re like, too many people are loving me, or too many people are trying to support me, and now it’s like, whoa, right, that’s success.

Right? And that too much could be overwhelming. And again, you’re looking at that as what their enemies compared to people that are here to support you. I don’t need support. That’s weakness. No, weakness is not having the support. Right? So, and ladies, what kind of general would you want? You’re going after a hill.

You [00:36:00] want the general to go, I never retreat. Just go and let’s see what happens. Or are you okay, a general going, you know what, things changed, we need to retreat. Which one do you want? The question is, what general inside of you are you having? So,

Scott DeLuzio: because you’re, you’re the General of yourself, right?

Dr. Philip Agrios: Yeah, you know, you’re the one who’s going, I don’t retreat, that’s weakness.

No, that’s insanity, You have to, you have to contract. It’s like saying, you know, my heart, when it contracts, that’s weak. I just want it to keep on expanding. Well, guess what? You’re dead. It only contract, it only expands and then, and you’re dead if it only contracts. Right? It’s finding the contraction and the expansion in a, in a rhythm, a rhythmical way.

And that’s what you have to look at is moving forward and going back a little and move forward. [00:37:00] So you’re comfortable And that aspect, I hope that,

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. And it’s almost like that seesaw that you’re talking about, uh, before, right? Where, yeah, you’re going to have to go up and you’re gonna have to go down and you’re gonna have to go up and you’re gonna have to go down and, and it’s going to, you know, repeat

Dr. Philip Agrios: yeah. And there’s, and your superpower actually causes you to trips up your saboteur, right? So they find out that, that, that dominant, that’s all. That’s your superpower, but by using the antidote, your superpower then becomes more effective, and now you can move forward with much more confidence.

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, absolutely. Um, and, and, and you’re right. Um, you know, when, when people. I’m just looking through the list of the reasons that people will self sabotage, you know. When people had success and lost it, maybe they had a great job and then they got fired or laid off or whatever. You know, obviously I can’t be good enough for that type of job anymore.

So, you know, I’m not going to [00:38:00] be able to, you know, achieve anything greater than that, obviously. Because, you know, I got laid off from that job. Or they were in a great relationship and then they lost it. Well, obviously I’m unlovable. Uh, nobody’s gonna ever love me, right? Because, you know, I had something great and, you know, I can’t imagine anything better than that.

And, uh, you know, you know, obviously these things are not true. You know, if you, if you stop and look at somebody else I think sometimes it’s easier to be able to diagnose this or visualize this in somebody else. You know, if you had a friend come to you and be like, you know, I was, I was in this great relationship and uh, you know, she left me and, and, and all this stuff and obviously, I’m never gonna find anybody.

It’s like, dude, really?

Dr. Philip Agrios: At 8 billion people, you’re not finding any

Scott DeLuzio: You’re not going to find anybody? There’s plenty of people on this earth. You’ll find somebody. Um, you know, exactly. And, uh, that’s kind of [00:39:00] the, the way that the thought process would go, uh, when you’re talking to somebody else. But when we’re, we’re thinking about ourselves, I mean, we, we have that, that dumb general who is like, you know, just doesn’t know how to do things.

And, That’s, that’s the guy who’s running the show, uh, when it comes to us. And we, we need to. Get that general in shape and, and get him moving in the right direction, uh, and sometimes that direction is to retreat, right? Because if you’re gonna go and take that hill and it’s you taking that hill and there’s a thousand people up on top of that hill, guess what?

You ain’t gonna do it. It’s just not gonna happen. So you, at some point, you might have to realize, okay, I might have to retreat, regroup, like we were talking about before, dig that foxhole, regroup, figure out what you need to do. Call in support, you know, whatever it is that you need to do, and then go, then go try to take that hill, you know, new information may come in, maybe they got 5, 000 people now, and you [00:40:00] need some more, so, okay, fine, I need more support than I thought I needed, alright, well, let’s stop, let’s retreat a little bit, and continue, right,

Dr. Philip Agrios: Yeah, and that’s what we’re talking about, you know, who the heck knows what happened when they were in the military, right? Could have been a captain that made a bad decision, maybe lost a couple of guys, right? Or she lost a couple of guys, right? Now they’re like, well, now they go into personal, now they’re still thinking about that.

So the question is, okay, yeah, all right, Agrios, how do you make that a benefit? Well, there is a benefit out of it. I’m not saying I can find it, but I usually find a benefit out of anything. But there’s a benefit for you, maybe now it gives you an idea, or maybe I need to do this, or maybe not to be so, whatever, I don’t know, I don’t want to give examples.

So, if you’re, that’s, whatever happened there, by not, by finding the benefit, there’s no need to forgive yourself and going, I now am going into civilian life a different person, not a better person. See, When [00:41:00] you go with, I need to do better, I need to be smarter, I need to, you know, saying, that means you’re going up a hill, and if I stop, what happens?

Scott DeLuzio: slide back, yeah,

Dr. Philip Agrios: I want you to focus on being different. When you’re going down the road that things are not going well, self sabotage, what are you going to do? Well, make a little left, go down the other road. So, it’s being different so much easier than trying to get better out of it. So, what was the benefit of going into the military?

So, here’s another great one. There’s a lot of stuff coming through. I hope I’m not giving too

Scott DeLuzio: no, you’re good, you’re good,

Dr. Philip Agrios: Um, one of the great, write this down guys, is this. If I never went into the military, what would I have lost? If I never went into the military, what would I have lost? It’s a brain teaser. Like, instead of like, what did [00:42:00] I gain, what did I lose?

You know, I would have lost being a better leader, or a different leader, to see how I did it better. I found that I would be a different leader. I would not be as confident. I would have not had that experience. I would have never seen the world. I don’t know, whatever the case may be. And now you start seeing it, and then you can then take it even deeper, right?

If I didn’t, if I, what would have, what would I have lost if I still had my leg, or my arm, or If I didn’t have the PTSD or something, okay, again, using this with your therapist, okay, or by yourself. But again, it’s a different thought, finding the benefit out of that and then going, okay, how can I now use this benefit differently in order to move forward and not only impact my life, but impact others? And if you’re looking at only impacting you, that’s where the problem comes into play, is because how can I take this and impact other [00:43:00] people’s lives? There’s a benefit here, guys, and then they, well, just guys, right? So in that end of it, I want to make sure that they’re understanding that what is the impact?

What is your purpose? Well, my purpose used to be this, and I have no purpose. Well, right now your purpose is feeling sorry for yourself, and that’s okay. It’s okay. It’s not bad. You’re just in protection.

Scott DeLuzio: mhm,

Dr. Philip Agrios: I saw a, um, I don’t know if you ever watched Schwarzenegger, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s documentary, right?

Unbelievable. And when he lost that big thing, he cried all night. And he woke up and goes, okay, he cried, baby, are you done? And he just moved on, right? That’s what I think, right? And, and so it’s okay. If you, if you’re feeling bad, it’s okay. Just write that down, guys. It’s okay where you are. You are where you are because that’s where you need to be at this moment in order to receive what you need to move forward and impact not only yourself, but others.

I hope [00:44:00] that helps. It’s valuable.

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, I think so, and when you look at someone like that who is, you know, on top of their game, and they still lose, you know, Michael Jordan, uh, you know, someone like that, you know, there have been games that Michael Jordan was in that he lost, right? And there’s been shots that he’s taken that he’s missed.

And, you know, as great as he was, um, you know, in basketball, um, I don’t know. He still made mistakes. And so it’s like, okay, well, what do I do with this now? You know, what caused this to happen? How do I, how do I work on, uh, improving that so that, or, or changing the condition so that that doesn’t happen again?

Um, you know, what lessons can I learn from that? Um, and, and to your point, um, yeah, sure. Losing a game that. It’s not the end of the world, but it’s you know, that’s your your job is to go out there and win games So [00:45:00] it’s not not great for you What do you learn? From that loss, from that missed shot, right?

What that’s, that’s the mindset that you’re talking about here, um, where you have to say, okay, because I missed that shot, now I’m going to go, I’m going to go practice that shot a thousand times until I can’t miss it. And now I’m going to be the guy on the team who can’t miss that shot. Everybody’s going to know they can rely on me to get that shot every single time.

And that’s, that’s something I’ve gained. So yeah, sure. I lost a game. Sucks, you know, dust yourself off, cry, you know, wipe your tears away, whatever you got to do. But then go and do something about it and, and improve yourself so that it doesn’t happen again, right? I think that’s kind of what you’re talking about,

Dr. Philip Agrios: Absolutely. And who’s your mentor? If you feel you can do, you got to do this on your own, then [00:46:00] you’ve already lost in my opinion.

Scott DeLuzio: Sure.

Dr. Philip Agrios: Every successful person you meet, they’ve had mentors.

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.

Dr. Philip Agrios: Jordan had mentors, had coaches. I don’t know how many coaches he’s had. He was pretty good, right? Look at all the people who were successful.

They’ve had mentors.

Scott DeLuzio: Mm hmm.

Dr. Philip Agrios: So looking for, I want to be there. Well, who’s been there and who can I go emulate? Uh, to help me do that, hire them or maybe see them on YouTube or whatever the case may be and just do what they do and knowing that they had to pay the price just as you. There’s no such thing as a success without paying the price. Doesn’t have to be, you know, and a lot of times we feel, you know, we got to pay a big price and sometimes you don’t, but you actually put the major price on it. It’s like, you know, going, how much is that? Um, oh, it’s, uh, it’s 10. Okay, here’s 100. Why are you giving me 100? Oh, it’s, I can’t, I can’t take this for 10.

Here’s 100. [00:47:00] You see what I’m saying? Take it for 10! Right? It’s because you’re valuable enough to take it. And that’s okay. Stop punishing yourself. You’re not being punished. God’s not punishing you. You’re not, you’re, you’re basically punishing yourself based on a story that you’re telling yourself that is, could be true or not true.

But it’s up to you how you want to spin that to take responsibility. If you’ve screwed up, I screwed up. Okay, now what? Okay, as soon as you acknowledge something, you take control. You don’t acknowledge anything, you can’t take control or take responsibility. But once you acknowledge, okay, this happened, now what?

Okay, how can I use this to help other people? I’ve screwed up tremendously. And I’ll be, you know, a lot of times in the shower, and I’ll think of some, say like, what the hell was I thinking? And then, you know what I do? Immediately go, I love you, man. Those four words, I love you, [00:48:00] man, just tells me subconsciously, it’s okay, you’re okay, you’ve grown from it, and let’s move on, and I can release that quicker compared to just now obsessing over it, and now making my day or my week horrible because I thought about something that I did, which was stupid.

Scott DeLuzio: Right. And I know exactly what you’re talking about. Like, that’s something that happens all the time, where it’s like, I could think about something I did 30 years ago, and be like, oh my god, that was stupid. Who cares? Right? Like, it happened, it’s done, it’s over. It has no impact on anything. The person who was with me at the time, who, you know, this situation might’ve been about, they probably don’t even remember it.

You know, it’s one of those things where it’s like, it’s in my head. Why? What purpose is it serving? And let’s, let’s let it go and move on and,

Dr. Philip Agrios: I love you. Just say I love you and it’s okay. Or just say it’s okay and just move forward.

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. It’s okay. Not a big deal. Life goes [00:49:00] on. You know, it’s not like the end of the world that I, I said that stupid thing when I was, you know, 13 years old or something, you

Dr. Philip Agrios: I was very successful being stupid back then.

Scott DeLuzio: right. Uh, you know, and I think we all were, we all had a lot of success with being stupid when we were teenagers.

Um, you know, and

Dr. Philip Agrios: And even yesterday.

Scott DeLuzio: yeah, sure. And, you know, I’m, I’m not immune to, immune to that either. Um, you know, we, we all have that. Right. And I, and I think, um, You know, it’s just important to, important to realize that we can make those changes in the, in the way that we think, in the way that we act, in the way that we do things, so that success will happen.

Will come to us, right? Yes, you’re gonna have setbacks. You’re gonna have things that don’t go your way. If a lot of the listeners are probably familiar with the Jocko, Will and Jocko podcast. I’m not sure if you’re familiar with him, but he talks about [00:50:00] extreme ownership and he talks about like you have to You know, just yeah, this this thing happened.

Okay, good. It happened. What do we, what do we do with this? What do we do with this information? How do we move on from here? How do we get better? How do we do things, you know, in a different way, um, to achieve that success? And, you know, with, with that mindset, he’s been very successful. And, Uh, I think, you know, a lot of people, uh, would, would follow in his footsteps and be very successful as well if they, they had that type of mindset.

And that’s exactly what you’re talking about. Um, it is really just a kind of small change. Um, yeah, we’re gonna have those, those thoughts creep in. We’re gonna have a setback. Uh, you know, a business issue. Uh, you know, your career, your relationships. There’s gonna be arguments. There’s gonna be, you know, disagreements, whatever.

These things happen. What, it’s just, what do you do with it? And how do you move [00:51:00] forward? Yeah, sure. You might have to sit there and plan and gather resources or, you know, make some, some changes. But okay, good. You’ve made those changes. Now you’re a better person. Now, you know, your, your, your way you’re approaching it is, is a better way, and you’re gonna now achieve that.

That type of success, right? So, you know, I, I think, you know, this is such a, uh, a good topic. Um, I know so many people out there are probably dealing with all sorts of stuff where they, whether it’s self doubt, uh, or, uh, you know, that imposter syndrome or, um, you know, Just being down on themselves, um, because of something that may have happened, uh, that story that they make up and, uh, you know, put in their head, it just keeps them down, um.[00:52:00]

Honestly, talking to you, it’s like, you know, there, there is a better way. You know, I I’ve dealt with this. Other people have dealt with it, right? There is a better way to deal with this. And so, uh, I want to make sure before we wrap up here, I want to make sure that the audience knows where they can go to reach out and find, uh, Find out how they can apply this to their own lives.

Um, you know, I know we didn’t give specific examples of how to do that. So, uh, I, I sort of intentionally did that because I want people to be able to reach out to you and, and, uh, find out, you know, how, how you work and how you operate and, and how they might be able to, uh, you know, work with you. Um, but where can people go to find out more about you and for, you know, more information or to get some help?

Dr. Philip Agrios: Yeah, so we have a membership site for the majority of people. It’s called the TNowMethod. com. The TNowMethod. com Uh, when you go there, depending on, um, you might be on a waiting list or you might have it open. [00:53:00] Um, you take a little course, you can actually get your import and sabotage and trade antidote and then every week we give you how your sabotage and antidote can help you in your professional life, in your health, in your personal relationships, things like that.

Um, and then I get on live once a month and you can ask me questions as well. Um, and or social media. I among all of ’em, all of them. And if they have any questions there, they can go to my website, uh, transcend Now, do biz. That’s Transcend now do biz, I’m assuming they’ll be underneath, uh, in the podcast.

And, uh, you know, and, uh, we have different programs for different people. And, uh, you know, we’d love to have a conversation, uh, or whatever the case may be to see if this can help. But, um, yeah, start out slow with the membership and then inside we show you how you can move forward as well.

Scott DeLuzio: Wonderful, and yeah, like you said, I will have links to all of that in the show notes for folks to check out, um, not [00:54:00] only your social media, but also the other websites that you mentioned, um, and that way people can get the, uh, the information that they need, they can reach out to you, uh, follow you on social media and see the live events that you do, uh, and all that type of stuff so that they, uh, can get the help that they need and, you know, hopefully help that, you know, Self sabotage, um, you know, that, that voice in their head that just keeps them from achieving the success that they, uh, they can, you know, achieving their full potential.

Um, but I, uh, before we wrap up, I do want to thank you for coming on the show and for the work that you’re doing, because I think it is an important thing that people need to know about. And, uh, you know, the more people out there who are getting this type of help, the more successful people we’ll have, uh, in this world, and, uh, that’s just gonna benefit everybody.

So, thank you again, uh, for taking the time to come on.

Dr. Philip Agrios: Thank you. It was an honor and I’m hopefully that something, at least take [00:55:00] one thing I said that can help you tomorrow or right now to just move a little bit more than one, two steps ahead and feeling empowered.

Scott DeLuzio: Absolutely. Thanks again.