Episode 496 Dustin Carter Turning the Page on PTSD Transcript
This transcript is from episode 496 with guest Dustin Carter.
Scott DeLuzio: [00:00:00] You ever feel like life after service is just one long firefight with no clear enemy? The VA tosses pills your way and you suck it up like you were trained to. And that tight feeling in your chest, you just hope it goes away with time, but it doesn’t. Now imagine the dream. You wake up with purpose. You found your outlet, your mission.
Maybe it’s not what you expected, but it’s yours. You’re connected, you’re creative, and finally, breathing a little easier. This episode is that bridge between the chaos and the comeback. Today’s guest, uh, Dustin Carter, he shares how he went from angry aimless and numb to finding peace through writing therapy and connection.
Uh, we talk about his gritty journey. No sugarcoating it. Just talk about the hard-earned perspectives and tools that he learned that anyone can use. Before we dive in though, make sure you’re subscribed to the email newsletter at Drive On Podcast dot com slash subscribe. You’ll get my five favorite episodes sent straight to your inbox.[00:01:00]
No fluff, just the best insights to help you drive on. I also wanna take a moment to raise awareness for something deeply important to our community, the Global War on Terrorism Memorial Foundation. This organization is working to build a permanent national memorial in Washington DC to honor the service members, families, and civilians impacted by the global war on terrorism.
This memorial serves as both a tribute to those who served and a way to ensure their sacrifices are recognized and remembered for generations to come. If you wanna learn more or find out how you can support the mission, visit GWOT memorial foundation.org. Now, let’s get into today’s episode.
Hey Dustin, welcome to the show. Welcome to the show. Looking forward to this conversation. Really glad to have you here. Yeah. Glad to have you here.
Dustin Carter: And Thank you. Thank you for having me.
Scott. I appreciate it. Thank [00:02:00] you for your time, man. I’m, I’m happy to be
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, you bet. Before we dive into the conversation, tell us a little bit about yourself, a little bit about your background. I know you’re, you’re a veteran, an author. Tell us a little bit about your yourself and, and kind of what your, your background is.
Dustin Carter: Well, yeah, I’m a veteran. I’m a author. I, I, I was in the guard signed up back in 2003, stayed in for roughly six years. Did a year and a half deployment. Ended up in rit, Iraq for a year in 2005. Came home from Iraq and you know, straight to college and graduated college in three and a half years. Um, before I was in the military, man, I was kind of a loser. Didn’t know what I wanted to do with life. Did all the wrong things in the world and. Right. When I turned 21, I signed up for the Guard not knowing what I wanted to do. I was trying to, you know, take the easy way out. I was like, I’ll just sign up for the guard. And signed up and went, went to Basic and a IT and [00:03:00] absolutely loved it. Like, like it was, it was the job for me in life.
And I remember
trying to go active like as soon as I got home from Basic and a ITI, I came back to my guard unit, walked in there the first day, and I was like, Hey, I, I wanna go active. Um, how do I, how do I go active? And they, you know, of course in the guard, the state pays for you to go.
So they, they wanna make sure they take advantage of that investment. And so, I ended up having to wait out a year before I went active. And that year, my unit ended up getting deployed Dirac.
So they of course got me, got me orders to go active and they’re like, we got you. And yeah, I went active left home late 2004 and spent six months in Fort Hood. Then left January 2005 to to Iraq and did a year deployment in Iraq. Came home still man, didn’t have much at home man, and I packed my bags as soon as I got [00:04:00] home.
Within less than 30 days, I was moved to Corpus Christi, Texas, and, and in college and went to college like I was supposed to. Took advantage of all the benefits. All the GI Bill benefits they gave me every bit. And got my associates and bachelor’s and then ended up moving here to Austin, um, 2010, 2011, where I met my wife and ended up going back to college.
They gave me a little bit, little bit more benefit, so I took advantage of that GI bill again and went and got my MBA and that, that’s when I, I really. Started writing was when I got my MBAI. I Started doing my projects well before well before they were due. And I would do all the research projects, everything.
And so by the time my, I was done with my MBA, I had already started writing my first book Cortez. And It’s loosely based on my hometown just growing up in small town Texas. And, It’s about a kid trying to get out, get out of his [00:05:00] town, and it, it’s a, it’s a thriller, um, just loosely based on my hometown.
And I continued to write. I had kids, I had, I had infants at the time, so me and my wife, we couldn’t go out, we couldn’t do anything. We, we were at home taking care of our kids. And so, I just rode every night, man. I mean, instead of watching tv
I got bored with TV and started writing and, I still write almost daily to today.
I mean, I’m, last night I was up writing some crazy story, so,
Scott DeLuzio: Do, do you find the, the writing to be like therapeutic for you or, or is it just something that you do as it’s just your hobby or, or just a, the thing you do, like some people watch TV to unwind. This is your way of unwinding.
Dustin Carter: both it, it’s my hobby. I mean, it’s, it’s a hobby that. It hasn’t paid off yet. I’ve spent a lot of money in it, but I, I do it ’cause I love doing it. It, it’s therapeutic as
well. I, if I’m, if I’m down or something like that, man, I could write the best stuff in the world. Like if I’m having a bad day or, you know, [00:06:00] somebody pisses me off. Man, I can come home and, and I’ll kill a character in a book quick man. You know, you know, it is therapy. It’s a hobby. It’s all that. And I love it. I mean, it’s,
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, I suppose it,
Dustin Carter: three books,
Scott DeLuzio: it’s better to kill the character in the book than, than you know, the alternative
of taking it out in real life, you know?
Dustin Carter: And yeah, it, it, it is just, it’s fun to do, man. I mean, I’m an introvert, so, you know, I, I have no problem sitting by myself
all day. I. And if I can sit at home and, and write a thousand, 2000 words, man, I’ll, I’ll tear it
up, man. And so I enjoy it.
Scott DeLuzio: Well, you know, and I think it’s important for people to find those. Those things that work with them, with their personality type, with their interest. You know, if, if you had no interest in writing and I said, Hey, sit down and write a thousand words, you’d be like, this is torture. Right? But
that obviously is something that you, you enjoy doing.
So it’s not torture. And if you were an extrovert [00:07:00] and you needed the energy just of being around other people, locking you in a room, not locking you figur literally, but
Dustin Carter: Yeah. Yeah.
Scott DeLuzio: you know, you know, locking you in a room and having you sit there and write. By yourself, you, you’d go nuts and you’d want to be in front of all those people.
So, you know, for you this is, this is a good fit. Right? And, and I got, I gotta imagine there’s other people like you who this is a great fit for too. But I think the important piece of all of this is regardless of your personality type, regardless of your interests, you know, find that thing that helps you.
Kind of deal with whether it’s boredom, whether it’s anger, whether it’s you know, whatever
Dustin Carter: that, that, that, that’s what I, that that’s what I’ve done in life is, sometime, I don’t know when it was years ago, man, I had to go back and what makes me happy and, and what, what do I like to do?
You know, as a kid, I like to say I used to like playing with my GI Joes, right? I like playing with my Ninja Turtles.
Know, I love playing video games and, but that [00:08:00] just kills all my time in productivity in
life. I mean, if I could play video games all day, I probably would, but. Let’s be real. I’m not gonna be a, a Twitch streamer where I’m streaming my games or anything else. So like I’ve had to push all the games aside and find out what’s something else that makes me happy.
Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm. I enjoy writing. I enjoy reading. You know, a couple years ago there was a, a ba a Dad’s basketball tournament down the road. And, I signed up for it, not knowing anybody in there and went and played basketball for the first time and since I was probably a freshman in high school and, loved it, man.
Dustin Carter: And, and I still play to this day. Like, I go out there almost two days a week. I go out there and play with them. I got a game with them Sunday and they’re actually playing,
right now. And,
um, you know, and, and I was like, well, I can’t play today, but I’ll, I’ll, I’ll try to be there next week guys. Yeah, I mean, you gotta find something that you do that makes you happy, whether, you know, some people [00:09:00] like to go hunting and fishing and, and I kind of wrote about that in my book, the Veteran, but it’s not really for me, man.
I,
I, I like, I like being out there, but it’s not, it’s not my thing.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. And again, it’s not for everybody. And, and for the people who found that, and that’s like their thing and they, they fell in love with it or however you wanna describe it, you know, good on them. They, they found their thing and that, that’s wonderful.
Dustin Carter: That’s it. And, and you gotta find your thing and you gotta find what you need to make you happy in life. And, and I think I have, so I’m, I’m
love to read and write,
Scott DeLuzio: Well that, that’s awesome. And so you mentioned your book, the Veteran tell us about that book. You know, what, what’s that all about and, and how did you kinda get into it?
Dustin Carter: Well, you know, I, I wrote my second book and it was right in the middle of Covid and I had a friend come over and, you know, he had a big ass bottle of pills and I was like, what the heck? Like, you know, and it was prescribed by the va and, well, well, [00:10:00] sometime during Covid I also went to the va to, for some mental health issues.
Probably some anger issues or something. And they wanted to just issue me pills. Like I remember telling the lady, Hey, I, I’m, I don’t want pills. I don’t want medication. I’m just here for therapy, whatever, and a few weeks later I get a bottle of pills in the
mail. I mean, one of the big bottles, not, not, not like a 30 day supply.
I’m talking a year supply that’s six inches long. I
mean, you know, and I was like, no, I’m good man. And I, I throw ’em away. And just, I started thinking about like all the stuff that’s gone on with the VA and everything, and I was like, I could write about this. And at first the story was something completely different.
But then just living here in Austin, like we have, we have homeless, a lot of homeless people in Austin. Big big homeless population. And if you drive down south, you’ll see. Homeless [00:11:00] veterans all over the place. And, um, I, I, I realized that I wanted to write about a homeless vet and just tell his story, how, how did he get so bad where he became homeless. Also at the time I ended up, I was watching The Sopranos. I. And you know, Tony Soprano, he is talking to his therapist and, and, and I, I put it together and I was like, I wanna write about a veteran going to therapy. And you know how, yes, it sounds boring. I mean, talking to a therapist ain’t the funnest thing in the world, but I think I was able to bring it out enough with enough, um, with the issues that the veteran has that. He was able to talk to her and get the help he needed and, and just replay the incidents that happened in his life to to get there. Like in the story, there’s, he’s, he’s retelling two separate, two separate incidents, or not incidents, two separate stories. He’s telling her the [00:12:00] story of. His history in the military, which goes through three deployments multiple incidents happening on these deployments, things like that. But then he is also telling her a story about how he ended up in her office through the last month of his life. And you know, he ended up getting in trouble and that’s how he ended up in her office and his lawyer. Um. Tells him to, gets him involved with therapy and, and gets him in rehab and all that, all the stuff that a homeless person needs. But he’s never talked about his issues. And so he’s sitting there telling his therapist about all of his issues and, and how he ended up there. And you know, the story’s meant to show you how bad it can get for somebody. But also, as long as you keep reading it until you turn that last page, you’ll know how good it can get if you keep going.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, I mean that’s, that’s like, you know, any book, you know, that any of those books that people. Say, Hey, I, I just couldn’t put this book down, you know? ’cause it just keeps getting [00:13:00] better and better and better, you know, as, as time goes on. And I, I think that’s a good analogy to life is like, yeah, you might be in a down time in, in your life, you might be in a, a rough situation, a homeless situation maybe, or you know, a relationship ends or you lose your
job or, you know, whatever it is.
But like, turn that page. And see what’s on that next page
Dustin Carter: that’s
it.
Scott DeLuzio: moving. Right,
Dustin Carter: You gotta keep moving forward no matter what. Know, yeah, I, I’ve had a lot of boun bad times in my life and, and it hasn’t all been roses and great days, but, you know, you just gotta keep pushing, man. It gets better.
Scott DeLuzio: right,
Dustin Carter: it’s life. You got your ups and downs and you gotta, you gotta keep going through the downs and, and wait till you get to the ups and you’ll love it.
So.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, and I think something I’ve learned through my own therapy and through other, you know, people that I’ve had [00:14:00] conversations with through this show and things like that is that you really can’t appreciate the highs, the, the joy and the happiness in life without the other side of it.
Dustin Carter: No, you’re spot on. I mean, you gotta have the lows, man. I mean, the lows, like I remember when I graduated college, like I couldn’t find a job to save my life and I was working in a call center and I mean, nobody wants to work in a call center, especially somebody that just graduated college. I. Uh, you mean to tell me?
I went to, I went to Iraq, came home, went to college, and now graduated college, and I’m answering telephones for a bank. Like it was miserable, but at the end of the day, like I remember whenever I got the call for the and told me I got, I, I got a job, a, a good job. Like, I went and yelled out the ocean, man, I pulled up right there, you know, I was, I was still living in Corpus at the time, and I went and parked right there at the, at the beach man, and just yelled.
And I was like, hap man. It was the happiest day of my
life. [00:15:00] And I’m Still working.
there today just because, man, I know what it took to get from where I started to where I was. So.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. And I, I think what I, what I meant just kind of a clarifying point for the listeners here is that not to go seek out the bad and purposely put yourself in
those bad
Dustin Carter: seek out the bad.
Scott DeLuzio: don’t, don’t go and, you know, just work a crappy job just for the sake of working a crappy job so you can, you know, appreciate it.
But if it’s. Yeah, if you’re in that situation, you find yourself like, man, I hate this job, or I hate this, whatever. This is terrible. This sucks. I mean, come on. We’ve, we’ve all been there, we’ve all been in some suck situations that, you know, even this, just go to a basic training where they have you rolling around in mud or, you know, doing other stuff that it’s like, man, this sucks.
I, I really wish I wasn’t doing this right now. But you, then you. You gain that appreciation for those other times where, you know, Hey, I, I’m, I got clean clothes on. I, I’m, I don’t smell like ass, [00:16:00] you know, like, I’m, I’m, I’m actually, I’m good, right?
Dustin Carter: Like, like, like for me, like in basic like I loved
it and, It, it was, life was so bad before I went to the military and I. Just, I couldn’t find a footing in
life. And so when I wasn’t basic, I was like, man, I got food. I got a place to live, and they’re paying
me. And yeah, I can’t leave today, but I know one day in the next six months I’ll be able to leave and I’ll be good.
And like, man, I, I loved it. Like, just because knowing I had some type of security behind me there, like
Scott DeLuzio: Well,
Dustin Carter: didn’t have to worry about anything.
Scott DeLuzio: there’s security and also I’d imagine there’s a sense of purpose too, where you might’ve been
just kind of wandering aimlessly before and.
Dustin Carter: I was, I was out in left field,
Scott DeLuzio: And then you get to this point where it’s like, Hey, I, I have a job, I have a mission. I have again, that security. You have financial security, you know, you’re getting a steady paycheck.
Yeah. Great. It’s not the, the best paycheck in the world, I understand that. But it, it’s steady and it’s reliable and you know that it’s gonna be [00:17:00] coming, you know, you know, every, every single paycheck, you know when it’s coming and you know how much it’s
gonna be. So. You know, just simple math. If you spend less than whatever’s coming in, you’re gonna be doing okay.
You know? So,
Dustin Carter: That, that that’s how it was when I was in basic and a IT and even Iraq. When I was in deployed Iraq I was like, happy to have a check. You know, they gave me everything I needed and I was good.
I I was more scared to come home and, and mess up than I was when I was there. And I think that’s the reason why like when I did come home, I just buckled down and went to college and, and did what I had to do because
I didn’t wanna mess up what I’ve earned over there. to.
Scott DeLuzio: And, and it’s kind of like you, you just like hit the ground running when you came back because it’s like, you’re already, you’re deployed to a combat area where you, you’re operating at a pretty higher intensity and it’s like, why, why, why slow that down and just get used to that as, as normal?
Like, like, let’s, let’s keep operating at that and
being, being successful
Dustin Carter: to say that, that [00:18:00] that’s exactly how I did it, and it wasn’t until. I started getting like jobs out while I was in college where I had to like kind of kick that back some because for myself, telling myself that stuff was, Hey, it’s all good. Hey, just do it. Let, let’s, let’s power through it. We’ll get through this one day.
But then I started know, I started working at like oil change places and tire shops and auto shops, and. I was tried bringing that same mindset and attitude to that, those, those jobs. And I got a lot of kickback real quick.
And You know, over time I’ve had, I’ve learned to that I can kick it back and I’m good.
But at, at first when I got home, like it was, it was hard to do to kick that back
Scott DeLuzio: yeah. yeah. I, I think over time you start to fall into a. You know, more manageable thing like that, operating at that level for long term is not really sustainable, but when you first come back, it, it may feel like, Hey, I, I can’t slow it [00:19:00] down right now, so you’re gonna, it made sense to me, I guess is what I was trying to say, is that it made sense you were operating at that higher level and then.
You know, as you’re starting to notice the world around you is not quite moving that quick. You can tone it back a bit and you can slow it down and you can, you can bring it back to a kind of normal level, maybe still above the average person out there, but you, you’re, you’re not going at a thousand miles an hour when a hundred will do, you know?
You know, so, so It, it took me a couple years to, to tone it back, but I, I think I finally got it
Dustin Carter: now, so. yeah. That’s awesome. We, we talk about, you know, a lot of times just being guys and especially military guys, you know, just talking about sucking it up and moving on and you know, through your book talking about some of the mental health struggles that, that the veteran was dealing with and the the homelessness situation.
Scott DeLuzio: I gotta imagine that some of that mindset must contribute to some of the, the struggles that that. People they’re dealing with. You know that, [00:20:00] that just suck it up and deal with it. Right.
Dustin Carter: Like,
like I remember.
Throughout my whole short military career, like that was, that was the, the mindset. That was my mindset was, hey, let’s, we’re not going to sit call, we’re not going to complain about nothing. I mean, we’re gonna complain to, to the guys in the my friends, but we’re not gonna go complain because our knee hurts or our back hurts, or, or.
You know, whatever issues is going on that day, we’re just going to go about our day. And part of me looks back at that and I, I wish, like, personally, I would’ve said something about a lot of that stuff. And even in my book, the veteran, like, Kurt doesn’t say anything. Um, all of his issues there, there’s never one time mentioned in the book that he goes and seeks help for anything.
He sucks it up himself. And in the book you could just see that he, [00:21:00] his progression down a d downward spiral is, is just builds because he goes on his first deployment and the first time he sees a, something happen in Iraq which is a ID attack. And then they get in a, a fight with some terrorists and end up, he ends up seeing some kids get killed. Or, or seeing dead kids’ bodies. And that messes with him and he doesn’t realize it messes with him until literally the deployment’s over. And because he’s still there, he is still staying engaged and, and he’s working with his, with his team and they’re talking about the issues. And it’s kind of like therapy. Um, like when I was in Iraq, we would go sit in towers some days and you would just sit there and talk to the guy all day
long and it was, it was literally therapy. And, Kurt is, is going through some type of therapy while he is deployed, but then as soon as he comes home, the booze starts happening.
He starts drinking and smoking cigarettes, and he doesn’t, he [00:22:00] recognizes that he has a nightmare after that first deployment, like when, as soon as he gets home and he just covers it all up with booze and it his, his drinking just. He sucks it up man. And his drinking progresses to, you know, three deployments of drug use and, um, eventually being homeless and a drug addict. And, and that, that’s kind of what I wanted to make sure the book talked about was yes, he does suck it up and, and a lot of soldiers, veterans that’s what, that’s what we have to do in the military. You have to suck it
up. I mean, you know, if you hurt your finger or pinky in the army, you really. In combat, there ain’t much.
There ain’t nobody to tell.
I mean, nobody’s gonna help you. And, and so, you know, while you’re training in the military, they teach you to suck it up and you know, but I think they also need to tell you that when the training’s over, you need to make sure you go note it down, make sure that it gets, [00:23:00] it gets looked at, gets treated. And a lot of times you’re just. You suck it up for so long that it, it messes with you. And
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Dustin Carter: you know, that, that, that’s one of the biggest issues I think that the veterans have when they come home from war, is they don’t get the help they need. Whenever, whenever they’re coming home, they come home and instantly go back to wherever they’re from with their buddies, their boys, whatever, and start partying and drinking and maybe, what they need to do is send them off on like a month long sabbatical, maybe I don’t know, sabbatical, but like a month long therapy session where, you know, they, they talk to therapists. They, they have daily meetings where they exercise and just kind of help them tone their, their life down before they’re let go into the wild, I mean.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Because I, I’ve said this before, a lot of people have said this before, but the, the military does a really great, great job with [00:24:00] helping. Ordinary people put the uniform on and become soldiers, Marines, airmen, sailors, you know, what have you. But they don’t do the greatest job helping us take that uniform off and
Dustin Carter: Not at all.
Scott DeLuzio: Right. And so, yeah, having some experience where it’s like, go and just figure this stuff out and don’t just suck it up. Don’t just forget about it. Move on, you know? You were saying before, oh man, your knee hurts, or your back hurts, or your whatever. You’re, you’re not going to say anything about it because you, you’re just gonna suck it up and deal with it.
But like, think about that, like from a leadership perspective, like how you’re doing a disservice to your the, the folks who are under you, because later on in life, they’re gonna become, you know, 40, 50, 60-year-old, you know, people who are having. Serious back and neck and legs and knees and hips and all that, those kind of issues.
[00:25:00] And they’re not gonna be able to get any kind of support for it. And you know, so like. Encourage for the leadership who are out there, encourage people to go and get stuff documented so that they can get the help down the line. Look, look after them as, as far as that goes. Don’t look short term. Hey, we need to accomplish this mission right now today to, to make sure first Sergeant’s happy because you know, we want to do this thing today.
Okay? And then forget about everything else. It’s like, all right, fine. You might have a mission you might need to get through. Fine, go ahead, get through that mission, do that thing. But make sure tho that those people who. You’re, you’re in charge of, make sure that they’re getting taken care of too. They’ll take care of you and, and accomplish that mission so long as you are taking care of them and, and making sure that they get what they need for long term.
They may not even think they need it. And so you kind of have to kind of kick their ass and say like, no,
Dustin Carter: That’s it.
Scott DeLuzio: get over there and go, go get that stuff documented. Go, go get that taken care of because you don’t, you don’t know like. It may not be a [00:26:00] major issue right now, but it may become a major, major issue five years from now, 10 years from now, whatever.
Dustin Carter: That’s it.
like I remember.
You know, whenever we were getting ready to leave Iraq, we had to like fill out some type of paperwork, a
post-assessment, Post-deployment assessment, and. It’s 2005. So, you know, PTSD was still kind of pushed
away. And I remember I put on there something about, maybe not PTSD, but like mental health issues or anger issues.
I cussed a lot when I was un deployed. I mean, I f-bomb every other
word. You know,
Scott DeLuzio: I think we all did.
Dustin Carter: I mean, when I came home, I, I, I put that on there and I remember one of my senior leaders pulling me to the side and said, Dustin, if, if you wanna make the military a career, you don’t wanna put that on that piece of paperwork. And, and he wasn’t
wrong. You know, he knew I wanted to make the military a career and he was looking out for [00:27:00] me. But at the end of the day. Nobody knew enough about PTSD or it wasn’t talked about. And it was, if you had PTSD, man, they’re gonna, you know, they’re gonna get you outta the military no matter what. And so he told me, Hey, if you might not wanna put that on
there, I put it on there anyway. But that was one of the, the suck it up things, man. He’s like, Hey, kind of suck it up and, and, you know, deal with it
and, yep. You know, no matter what I, he gave me a advice that probably wasn’t the best advice in the world, but man, I still respect the man to this day.
He was a great leader and he was just looking out for me. But yeah, to suck it up, man. I mean, we’ve been, we’ve been told to suck it up our whole lives and at the end of the day we’ve gotta switch that. And like you said, they teach you how to put the uniform on. They need to teach us how to put, take the uniform off.
Scott DeLuzio: Right. And, and go. Going back to your book, you mentioned how you know that that main character, he, he got into drinking and drugs and became homeless and, and did all these things. And those are a lot of, [00:28:00] they’re coping mechanisms. The, the drinking and the drugs and all that kinda stuff. They’re not good ones, but they’re, they’re still coping mechanisms.
What were some of the good. Things that, that he did. What, what were some of the things that, that kind of helped get him through you know, some of this and kind of come through the other
side? Or, or did he even get there?
Dustin Carter: Yeah, well, Kurt in the book Kurt therapy And in therapy, you know, there’s not much to do. He doesn’t have a job, he doesn’t have anything. He just going to therapy and going to AA and na um, meetings and all that, which he doesn’t like any of them. But he, he starts working out and exercising and. That’s, that’s the first thing that he does to, to start coping and, and helping him get, get his life back together. As he’s talking with his therapist you know, she tells him working out’s good. You, you know, you might wanna even go get a job as a, as a personal trainer because before Kurt was deployed, he was in college on a football scholarship [00:29:00] to, ut El Paso and the story. And, so he, he was on a, he was on his football scholarship and went, went to the military. But so she talks, she tells him to start working out, maybe go become a personal trainer or something like that. Get him a
job. And so that, that, that was another thing he ends up doing. He meets a, he meets a veteran who gives him a job at Mowing Yards. And as he’s going to therapy before therapy, every day he would help go mow yards, work the weed eater and just working helps. I mean, you know, you gotta stay busy. If you’re not staying busy, you’re probably gonna do something wrong. And so, so that, that was another thing. But I think the main thing was his therapist wanted him to, talk with other veterans. So before his appointments every day with her, or his weekly appointments with her, she encouraged him to show up before the appointment and, and meet some of the other veterans there at the va and, [00:30:00] you know, just talk with them. And in the story he meets with I tried to get a, I got a Korean War veteran to that.
I added a story in there for a Vietnam vet. Um. Operation Ira desert Storm, and then Iraq and Afghanistan veteran. And so he meets with all these different
veterans and just learns their backstories and they kind of, they help him you know, come out of his shell a little bit to, to know that he’s not the only one out there dealing with these issues. And, and they, they help him deal with them and, and move forward. So it’s good for him.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. The, the couple components there that you talked about that I think are, are important is that one is the, the physical. Aspect of like, phys go work, go do something. Whether it’s exercise, whether it’s maybe a physical job that you might have you were talking about like some landscaping type jobs or, you know, mowing, mowing lawn.
You’re, you’re doing something physically and there’s, there’s something about it. I don’t know what it is. I’m, I’m not a [00:31:00] psychologist. I don’t, I don’t have all the, the answers, but there’s, there’s some, there’s some thing too, doing the physical stuff that takes your mind away from the. Mental stuff and
Dustin Carter: does.
Scott DeLuzio: whatever it is I, I mean, is great.
Like the more, the more you do physical then, then you kind of just take that away and, and it, it’s helpful. I’m not saying it’s gonna be a magic pill and it’s gonna cure you and you’re gonna be a hundred percent, but it, it’s helpful. And as you’re, if, especially if you’re struggling, you’re, you’re having a tough time to get through all this stuff, that, that’s a piece that, that might help just make it.
That much easier to
Dustin Carter: Exactly.
Scott DeLuzio: you know, to get outta that, that down, you know, low spot that you might be in. But also the connections, the camaraderie, camaraderie with other people where you’re having a shared connection. As far as shared experiences, they may not have been in the same foxhole as you.
They might [00:32:00] may not have even been in the same war as you, but they’ve had similar experiences. Right.
Dustin Carter: Knowing, yes. Knowing that people have dealt, done the same stuff that you’ve done, not in the same foxhole, not the same war, but they, they, they’ve felt the loss
too, and they’ve felt the same feelings that you’re feeling is. It makes you feel better to know that they’re still here. So,
Scott DeLuzio: they’re still here. They’ve, they’ve been through it. And if you pay close enough attention, they figured out a way through it. I’m not saying that they completely forgot about the experience or that it’s, it hasn’t affected them in some way. ’cause I, I. Gotta imagine it has. And, and this goes for everybody, right?
This is not just a character in a book. This is, you know, real people having these real experiences. It, it’s affected them in some way. But they’ve figured out a way to continue to live life despite all of that.
Dustin Carter: Exactly. Yes,
sir.
Scott DeLuzio: I mean, it’s a challenge. I’m not saying that it’s easy, like, [00:33:00] Hey, just go talk, go, you know, join the VFW and go talk to some people and all of a sudden, boom, you’re gonna be cured.
Hell, I’m still dealing with stuff like that too, you know, and I’m, I’m trying to figure out my, my own path through this, but hopefully through stories like this and other stories that have shared on this show, it, it’s gonna help show other people that hey, we, we can figure it out. And I think you get a group of members or veterans get them together with a problem, we’re gonna figure it out, you know,
Dustin Carter: That’s it. And And so like he. His coping mechanisms. I mean, the way he helps get himself through is, is, is by exercising, working, meeting people. Another one, like, like when you sent me the questions I thought about was in the story at the end of the story his friend Oliver, who, who he met at the va and, and is his, is his employer, instead of going and mowing a yard one day.
It takes him to get a haircut and buy him a suit. [00:34:00] And you know, the, the, the transformation
by doing that.
for Kurt and the story just changed his whole outlook. He was down and out at the, the beginning of the day and just getting dressed up nice, kind of helped him out and, and put him on a different path for that day. And you know, ma put him presentable and he even talks to a girl that day, which kind of made him feel
good. And you know, so there’s a lot of different stuff. I mean, you know, how you carry yourself is, is a big how people, how you feel about yourself. And if, if it is getting your hair cut and wearing some, a nice suit, you know, could, could be all the difference in the world to you
Scott DeLuzio: I mean. I, I’ve had those experiences where like, you got a good haircut and, you know, I don’t have much left up there to,
Dustin Carter: I got none.
Scott DeLuzio: you know, so we, we, this is, I’m talking about years ago, you know, when, when there was, there was enough up there to, to actually make me feel good [00:35:00] about looking in the mirror at,
Dustin Carter: That’s it.
Scott DeLuzio: You know, but you, you get it and it’s like, okay, you know that. You start to feel good. And same thing with, you know, some nice clothes. You know, you, you, you put on a, you know, guys put on a suit or you know, ladies put on a dress or something like that. It’s a nice, nice outfit that you, you put on and you kind of feel a little better about, about yourself, you know, it’s like, you know, kind of feel good.
So it’s, it’s a simple thing, but it has some sort of transformative,
Dustin Carter: but I mean, it, it works. It, it, it, it does something for you that could turn a bad day into a good day
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. And, and it,
and.
again, it’s not, it’s not like it’s going to be this. Grand thing that’s gonna change everything. Like you’re gonna, all of a sudden you’re gonna no longer have those memories of what happened in Iraq or Afghanistan or wherever you were. And it’s not, not like a suit is gonna be magical and it’s just gonna auto automatically change all of that, but it’s gonna make that, that moment just that much better.
And maybe [00:36:00] that’s that step that you need in the right direction. It’s like, hey, that’s. That made this mu this much better. And then, like you said, you know, the, the character was talking to you know, got to talking to a girl, oh, hey, maybe that leads to something else and that makes that that much better.
And then this thing and the next thing and everything, and it, it just makes things so much better. You know, as, as you, you move on. So it’s like kinda like a snowball effect, like one thing leads to another and it just gets bigger and bigger and bigger.
Dustin Carter: What I tried doing was I tried to, you know, I broke it down. I broke him down so much and I had to build him back. And part of the story was, you know, at the point where he gets the suit, I mean, he’s, he’s. He’s, he’s told his whole story almost, I think. I think when he gets his suit, he only has a little bit of his story left that nobody
knows about yet, and he’s broken down and it helps build him back
up.
So
Scott DeLuzio: Well, even. Think about basic training we were talking about earlier. That’s one of the things that they do in basic training is they [00:37:00] break you down, build you back up. you know,
Dustin Carter: it.
Scott DeLuzio: you may be in, you know, decent shape before going into basic training, but they’re gonna break you down and they’re gonna build you back up into the shape that they want you to be in.
And it may be
Dustin Carter: Oh yeah.
Scott DeLuzio: shape, mental shape, you know, they’re gonna, they’re gonna figure, figure out how to get you to be the type of soldier that they, they need you to be. And. That’s, I mean, that’s kind of the whole gist of it. And so it’s almost like we need that sort of transformation where we get broken down.
We, we lose, I don’t wanna say lose, but we kind of shed some of the, the military. Pieces of us, and then we kind of build ourselves back up in this, this new format of, you know, getting outta the military, getting on with regular life. And you know, not, not to say, Hey, we forget everything else from the military.
We never tap into that, but, but we, we kind of figure out what, what does, what does Scott, what does Dustin, what does, [00:38:00] you know, somebody else? What, what do we need ourselves to be and how do we. Apply that going forward to daily life. Right. And
Dustin Carter: you have to
do it, man. I mean, you, you, you can’t I had a boss a couple years ago and, and he was a retired colonel in the Marines and he expected the 80 people he had under him, probably more than that to all be Marines.
And he couldn’t let that go. And I understand he’s a
lifer, you know? You know, devil dog all the way, simplify. I mean, he, he couldn’t let it go, man. And he was a good boss, but most of the people that worked for him hated his guts. And because he just couldn’t leave that, he expected that he’d come in and tell you war stories and front of a group of 50, 60 people and all the, all the older ladies in the room, and even some of the guys were just like, this guy’s talking about killing
people and. You gotta [00:39:00] know your audience. You gotta, you gotta know when to keep it there and when to cut it down. And if you’re in the military, hey, keeping the attitudes great, but whenever you’re not in the military and you’re working just a regular civilian job, you gotta know, you gotta cut it down some, and
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, definitely know the audience. I think that’s, that’s a
key key thing when, when you’re telling war stories and stuff, because otherwise you’re gonna, you’re gonna be getting some looks from, from some folks. But but you know, hopefully, you know, from, from what I’m gathering from everything that we’re talking about here this seems like a good guide not, guide might not be the right word, but you know, a good reference for.
Folks who whether they’re veterans themselves, maybe even family or friends of a veteran who they’re, they’re seeing going through similar things to what we’re talking about here. It seems like your book the Veteran again could be a good reference for them to see like, what is that path that this guy went through and how can we [00:40:00] help our, our friend or ourselves to get through this?
Time in their lives you know, a little bit easier. Not, not to say that we wanna make everything super easy for everybody, but you know, if we can, if we can help guide them in the right direction and help them come to some of the conclusions that they need to come to, and, and hit some of the, those, those checkpoints, if you will, in in that recovery phase and, and get through it a little bit quicker, a little bit easier you know, if we can help people then, you know.
Why not let, let’s, let’s try to do that. And it seems like that’s, that’s what your, your book sort of does, right?
Dustin Carter: I,
I I hope.
so. I mean, I, it, it will be a, it’s a success in my eyes if it could help one veteran with any issues they have. Man, I. I won the
lottery. I’m good. I don’t, I don’t need to do anything else with it. Know, I, I hope my book can help veterans and just to see that there, there’s hope [00:41:00] on the other
side. And you know, as you read the book, you know, most people are like, this guy’s gonna kill himself sometime, man. And I can’t, I wanted to. Touch on the 22 Veteran a day deal. You know, I, it’s, it’s horrific. It’s, it’s horrible. I wanted to like, touch on it, get as close to it as I could without getting there. Um, and there’s no way I would ever write anything about a veteran committing suicide. But I wanted to, I. Take it as far as I could and me mentally, like I writing the book, I mean, it, it gets pretty dark at
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Dustin Carter: And writing it, man, I pro I think I went down some, some holes that mentally probably I don’t recommend going down, but at the end of the day it, it’s good to go down there to be able to come back out of it and just know that, you know. It’s not all down and glum in [00:42:00] life. You know, there, there’s hope on, so there’s, there’s hope, and, and if you keep going, there’s light at the end of the tunnel and there’s something for you. And that, that, that’s the just of the book is, is yes, it’s about a homeless veteran who’s a drug addict, an alcoholic, and has all the issues in the world, but. He keeps going and through therapy and help from his friends and family, he gets the help he needs and he, he makes something of himself. So.
Scott DeLuzio: And that’s, you know, one of those hopeful, inspiring messages that you know, will hopefully give somebody who’s out there who might be struggling, might be feeling like. I got nothing. I, I don’t know how to work my way outta this. I don’t even see a light at the end of the tunnel. You know, that’s, that’s how far away I am from that light.
You know, someone who is in that kind of situation, it’s like. Again, turn the [00:43:00] page, you know, stick around, turn that page one more time. We’ll, we’ll maybe be able to, to get there. Right? And, and we’ll be able to keep going. And, and I, I really hope that, that people do get a copy of this book to serve as that reference or roadmap if you, if you will, to
help them. You know, you know, outside of, outside of your, your book and, and the stuff that we talked about today are there any other resources that you are familiar with that you would recommend or suggest that, that might be able to help support other veterans or their families in addressing these types of issues?
Dustin Carter: Call the va Call the va. You know that that’s the number one. Number one team out there is the VA man. I know they’re there to help. We might all hate ’em at times, but, but they are there to help. I’ve actually partnered with a, a group, it’s called Operation 10 10 and they’re outta the Dallas-Fort Worth area.
And when I put my book out, they they, they bought it and read it and got back with me and like, Dustin, we want to, you know, how can I, how can we use [00:44:00] your book to help us? And how can your book help veterans? And, um, what we’re doing is I’m trying to create like a Operation 10 10 book just for them. And you know, that they could help raise money for their organization. They’re A-P-T-S-D organization where they, they want to help veterans in the Fort Worth Dallas area with PTSD. And so I’m, I’m in the. Stages of trying to create a book that they could sell to people and keep all the money, keep all the proceeds from to so they can keep the organization running. You know, if people donate money, they can give them a copy of the book as
well. And you know, I’m hoping that that helps. And any other veteran organizations out there that, use my book, man. I’m, I’m more than happy to make it work for y’all. You know, I’m not a therapist at all and you know, I can talk to somebody, but I am not a professional in that, in that aspect.
But I, I want to, I hope my book can help veterans in any way. My book can [00:45:00] help a veteran. I’m, I’m, we can use it for
that. You know that that’s. Where I want it to go. And you know, if, if we can help somebody, if my book can help one person, man, it’s a success in my eyes. So I.
Scott DeLuzio: Well, absolutely. And to the point that you were just talking about, you know, you’re, you’re not a, a therapist, you don’t have that, you know, formal trained background in that area, which I don’t think that that is necessarily a, a, a, a problem or a bad thing that people should look at it like, oh, well, Jesus, this guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about because he didn’t do X, Y, or Z.
Well, okay, fine, but you, you were also. In the shoes of some of these other people like you, you
Dustin Carter: Yes, sir.
Scott DeLuzio: of those, those issues. And I think experience goes a really long way. And when we are speaking from not only a position of experience where you’ve been there, you’ve done that, you’ve, you’ve gone through those experiences, but you also give a damn about the people who are on the other, other [00:46:00] side of that.
I think that is. Super powerful as well. And it shouldn’t be ignored, it shouldn’t be discounted or anything like that. So I, I think that type of messaging that, that you’re bringing across here, you know, helping out those organizations, helping out you know, people just who might stumble across your book.
And hopefully the listeners will, will be able to grab a copy of this book and, know, I’m, I’m really looking forward to getting that link out there and seeing how many people will, will grab a copy of this book. But you know, I I, I want I want people to recognize that Yeah, sure. It, the book is, is fictional.
It, it’s not, you know, a a real individual that we’re, we’re talking about here, but the circumstances are just as real as any other, and, and so, you know, I, I think it. Does a good job at getting that message across and it really helps you know, kind of frame the picture of. What, what right and wrong look like, and I don’t wanna say wrong as in like, Hey, you did the wrong thing, or [00:47:00] whatever.
’cause we all make mistakes, right? But you know what, what’s going to get you through this situation and what’s going to make the things worse? And so that’s that’s I think what the book is accomplishing here. And you know, I’m, I’m really looking forward to getting, getting some folks getting some eyeballs on that, on that book, and hopefully helping
some folks out.
Dustin Carter: I love hearing feedback from it. You know, some of the other books I’ve written like my, my, my book about human trafficking you know. People don’t wanna hear that
stuff. People don’t want to hear human trafficking and what happens to the victims. And like in that book, I wrote it as true as I
could.
And, and I, I work with a bunch of human trafficking investigators and so I was able to get their, their feedback on that. But like in the veteran, I, I’m a veteran.
I’ve been There.
I’ve seen it. Almost every friend I have is a veteran. So. I know I, hi. It,
you know,
I [00:48:00] know
that
what I wrote.
about in that book is, is what happens to veterans.
And it is a fictional story, but it’s taken from real life stuff. I mean, it’s, you know, what happens in the book is what happens to veterans, and I hope they could take that and learn from it and hope, build it, build themselves up, or, you know, hopefully it can just help somebody.
Scott DeLuzio: Where, where can they go to get a copy of the book? I’ll, I’ll have a link in the show notes, but is there you know, any special web website that you have set
up or
Dustin Carter: a, Dustin Carter 5 1 2 is my website. And on my website there’s links to the book
to, to purchase it off Amazon. If somebody wants a signed copy, they could message me and just DM me. I’m Dustin Carter 5 1 2 Instagram. Um, I’m also on LinkedIn. You just search my name and, you can just Google me and I’ll come up.
You know, so if you want a signed copy, let me know and if, if, if you don’t you can just buy it off Amazon and it’ll ship it right to your house.
Scott DeLuzio: [00:49:00] Excellent. So I’ll, again, I’ll have a link in the show notes for all of those things that we just talked about. But, you know, it’s really been, I think, a great conversation. And I, I think it’s important to, I. Continue having this conversation throughout the military community the veteran community, the, you know, all of us together and continue having this conversation so that we.
Don’t let that, that slip back into that old school mindset of, ah, just suck it up and deal with it, you know? So, that’s, that’s something I’m, I’m hoping to accomplish with this episode. Hopefully, you know, some of the listeners will will take that away from it and you know, get a copy of the book and more importantly, get the the help maybe if that that’s what they’re, they’re needing.
Dustin Carter: Yes, sir. Get a copy of the book. You know, but more importantly, like you said, yeah, get the help you need. If, if you’re a veteran that’s struggling read my book, check it out, and, and just know that as you’re reading it, it, gets
better and, and. [00:50:00] Life gets better and the story gets better all the way to the end.
So, you know, man, go get, pick up a copy.
Scott DeLuzio: There it is. All right. Well thank you again, Dustin. Really, really enjoy the conversation. Thanks again for taking the time to come on the show.
Dustin Carter: Yes, sir. Thank you for having me. I
appreciate it. Made
my day to be here today.
Scott DeLuzio: Excellent.