Episode 505 Kijuan Amey How Blindness Revealed a Veteran’s Strength Transcript
This transcript is from episode 505 with guest Kijuan Amey.
Scott DeLuzio: [00:00:00] Do you ever find yourself asking, why me? Maybe it was the chronic pain flaring up again, or one of those nights where you just couldn’t shake the memories. Maybe it was waking up feeling like you’re carrying more than just the weight of the day. Now, picture this. You’re on top of the world. You’re serving your country.
You’re dreaming about becoming a pilot, running your own business. Then one split second, everything changes. A motorcycle crash, a medically induced coma, total blindness. Total blindness and somehow you still come out of it. Grateful Kijuan Amey has taken adversity and built a life of meaning. In this episode, you’ll hear how he turned tragedy that I just described into motivation and how he redefined his identity after losing his sight and why he believes the phrase I define who I am is more than just a quote.
It’s a way of life to him. This is real. It’s raw, and it’s exactly the kind of [00:01:00] conversation that reminds us that we’re not alone in whatever fight that we’re struggling through. Before we dive into this episode though, make sure you’re subscribed to the email newsletter at driveonpodcast.com/subscribe You’ll get my five favorite episodes sent straight to your inbox. No fluff, just the best insights to help you drive on. I also want to take a moment to raise awareness for something deeply important to our community. The Global War on Terrorism Memorial Foundation, this organization is working to build a permanent national memorial in Washington DC to honor the service members, families, and civilians impacted by the global war on terrorism.
If you wanna learn more or find out how you can support the mission, visit GWOTmemorialfoundation.org Now let’s get into today’s episode.
Scott DeLuzio: [00:02:00] Kijuan welcome to the show. I’m really glad to have you here and I’m, I’m, I’ve been really looking forward to our conversation for a little while now. But welcome to the show. Glad to have you here.
Kijuan Amey: Thank you so much for having me, Scott. I really appreciate it, man.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, you bet. Maybe just to start off, can you tell us a little bit about your, your time in the Air Force, some of the experiences that you had that kind of. Maybe more memorable, maybe the, the, the things that transformed you into the type of leader that you are today.
Kijuan Amey: Yes, I can easily do that. Well, the first one is me getting in the Air Force Man. bootcamp is automatically gonna change your mind
Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
Kijuan Amey: the good or the bad,
Scott DeLuzio: That’s right.
Kijuan Amey: You’re either gonna. Learn that they’re trying to
Scott DeLuzio: I.
Kijuan Amey: you to adapt to what the military life is, or you’re gonna try to fight against it and you’re not gonna win. I, I promise that battle’s gonna be hard, buddy. It is a uphill one for you.
Scott DeLuzio: That’s right.
Kijuan Amey: And so that’s the first one you know, is initially going in when you initially go in, it is [00:03:00] all about now can we shift your mindset from being this young, funky kid that think that’s smelling himself. herself to now, we need to make you an adult.
Scott DeLuzio: Hmm.
Kijuan Amey: We need to make you somebody who cares about life, because that’s what you’re going into. You need to care about not only your life, but everybody who’s be beside or behind you.
Scott DeLuzio: That’s right.
Kijuan Amey: You know? And we have a saying in the military, I got your
Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
Kijuan Amey: What that means is I’ve got your back.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: Whatever you need me to do, whatever cover fire you need, whatever lookout you need, support, whatever, I’ve got your six.
Scott DeLuzio: Yep, that’s right.
Kijuan Amey: that’s not to be taken lightly,
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: if you’re acting like it is in basic training or in your job, can go wrong,
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, that’s right.
Kijuan Amey: And so that’s where it all kicked off, man. When I tell you they built a new person and, and the effect of, you know, me being [00:04:00] more aware.
Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
Kijuan Amey: That’s one thing they would not stop saying.
Situational awareness. Situational awareness. Situational awareness. I got tired of hearing that. But if you think about it, what is situational awareness? Well, what is this situation you’re in? do you have to be aware of?
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: so they make you focus on the situation or the task at hand, and what are the awareness that comes with it. That way you’ll never be out, out of the loop.
Scott DeLuzio: Right.
Kijuan Amey: You know what I mean? It was so, at that time you didn’t understand it, now I’m like, oh, well, I’m always situationally aware,
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. You know, and, and it’s, it goes beyond. A military mindset too. ’cause yes, sure. Situational awareness. If you’re in a combat zone, for example, you gotta be aware of your surroundings. Look for things that are maybe out of place like some you know, disturbed you know, earth on the, the side of the road or something like that, where maybe a bomb was buried or you know, maybe, maybe something [00:05:00] off in the distance where maybe a sniper could be, or, you know, any, any of those types of things.
You gotta be constantly looking for those types of things. And those things are. By their very nature, they’re, they’re trying to hide so that you don’t see them. So you really have to be aware and you have to be looking for everything, using all, all your senses, your hearing, your, your, the smell, you know, the, the sight, all these things that you got, you gotta use to look for any abnormalities that might exist so that you, you don’t step on that.
Landmine that might be there, or you know, get shot by a sniper from the window on the, you know, the, you know, third floor of that building over there or whatever. You got, you got really gotta pay attention, but you can also take that out into a, just your everyday life, being aware of the situation.
Driving a car is is something that, you know as you’re, as you’re driving Yeah. Gotta be aware. Is there, there’s someone coming up behind you that’s speeding, going a hundred miles an hour and, and they’re, they’re about to crash into you or, or you know, is there an accident up ahead or, or something [00:06:00] that you have to you know, just be careful about.
’cause there’s gonna be people getting out of the cars and, you know, doing all that. You gotta, you gotta be careful you know, all, all these things, right.
Kijuan Amey: I’m And Scott, I’m glad you brought up a car situation because I actually was just talking about this recently back, I don’t remember what year it was, maybe 20 15, 20 16, but it was July 4th weekend. I do know that. we were leaving the beach and I was in Jacksonville, Florida, leaving Jackson Beach. And they have these bridges, like little, just little small ones. Not the big ones that they have there, but these little small ones that, that that are going over a little thing of water. And so you’re using this bridge to go into Jacksonville. So from Jackson Beach, it connects you to Jacksonville. And so. At the top of this hill, the, the, the bridge though, you can’t, if you’re coming from behind, you can’t see what’s on the other side
Scott DeLuzio: Right.
Kijuan Amey: until you get to the crest. And so we’re sitting, [00:07:00] and now remember July 4th weekend, everybody loves to go to the beach. You know why? Because they wanna watch fireworks.
They want to, you know, enjoy their time, drink whatever.
Scott DeLuzio: Yep.
Kijuan Amey: So there’s a lot of people leaving the beach because the firework show just ended, and am in a car with my girlfriend at the time that is sitting on the crest on that peak of the, of the bridge and it’s traffic backed all the way up from the stoplight to where I am. We are sitting still
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: one car behind me, right? He’s sitting still too well in my situational awareness. Luckily, I didn’t have the music up loud, and I’m listening. Nobody’s moving in front of me, but I definitely hear somebody moving behind me
Scott DeLuzio: Mm.
Kijuan Amey: and all I hear is, and I’m like, somebody’s going a little bit too [00:08:00] fast us to be sitting still. I look up in the rear view mirror and I’m like, oh, shoot. you hear, oh. Because now he sees us sitting still a bunch of brake lights. You see a seal of brake, brake lights,
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: and I said, oh, shoot. the brake. And I’m in the far left lane. think it’s like a three or four lane bridge on each side.
Scott DeLuzio: Okay.
Kijuan Amey: But I’m in the far left lane. And as soon as I see him breaking eyes or hear him breaking, I release the brake and turn the wheel to the left. Because now I’m trying to get outta the way of the car that’s in front of me
Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
Kijuan Amey: one that he’s about to run into
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: because I’m in the
Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Right.
Kijuan Amey: if he smacks that car hard enough, it can run into me.
Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
Kijuan Amey: Well, now we’re in a chain reaction. I don’t wanna be a part of it. ’cause I, I don’t like insurance claims. And so I release the brake and my girlfriend’s like, wait, wait, where you [00:09:00] going? Where you going? And she’s panicking, thinking I’m trying to, you know, drive.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Right.
Kijuan Amey: no, look behind you. And she turns around and she’s like, oh. he had hit the car already. She
Scott DeLuzio: Oh,
Kijuan Amey: even heard it. didn’t even hear,
Scott DeLuzio: wow.
Kijuan Amey: the screeching.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: she was in her phone. She didn’t hear the screeching, she didn’t hear the impact. Like all, like, you hear everything. I could hear all of that. And she heard none of it.
Scott DeLuzio: Right.
Kijuan Amey: And so I’m like, look behind you.
She finally looks back and she sees the puff of smoke from the radiator. You know, I.
Scott DeLuzio: Oh yeah, yeah,
Kijuan Amey: that the, the rear end of that car. And she was like, oh my God. And I was like, yeah, that’s what I heard. I don’t know what you’re doing.
Scott DeLuzio: right. Well, you know, and, and being the, the, you know, the guy behind the wheel, you gotta be paying attention to all that stuff. And, and so, you know, I think that’s, that’s one of those, those qualities that gets instilled in you. Early on, like you said, in basic training in, in the military. And [00:10:00] I think that’s one of those good qualities that we carry with us.
You know, there’s some, there’s some good and bad things that, that come from that, but you don’t wanna be so hyper-vigilant that you’re, you’re constantly like on alert and on edge and you’re, you’re you can’t really handle it because it’s just too overwhelming,
Kijuan Amey: Yeah. Yeah.
Scott DeLuzio: Tone it down just a notch, but still keep it right.
Keep that, that situational awareness so that you know what’s going on around you and you can react to things that could potentially be you know, cause an injury or, you know, be life threatening or, or things like that. Like, like a car accident like that right now.
Kijuan Amey: Yep.
Scott DeLuzio: Speaking of accidents I, I do want to kinda move on a little bit into your story and talk about a motorcycle accident that you had kind of life altering event that that took place for you.
Tell us a little bit about that and kind of how you found the strength to turn that event into something positive, like the motivational work that you do.
Kijuan Amey: Yeah. So, going into the accident, you know, that was May 5th, [00:11:00] 2017. What’s something I call Cinco de Mayo? I call my new life’s journey. You know, because
Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
Kijuan Amey: everything would change for me. It, it would, and I was in the reserves at this time. I had did four years active palace chased, which basically mean I did not finish, completely finish my active duty commitment. But what they do is they added on the back ave of your reserve commitment.
Scott DeLuzio: Okay.
Kijuan Amey: I served the rest of my active duty career or years
Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
Kijuan Amey: had six total, I only served four of them. So I finished my two in the reserves, but then they doubled it to basically have me have a commitment of four years
Scott DeLuzio: it. Okay.
Kijuan Amey: in the reserves. So did that I, would have to also now, I, I wanted to become [00:12:00] a pilot, I, I would also be going to school full time to get my degree
Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
Kijuan Amey: I was studying computer information systems with a specialization in systems analysis and integration. that’s a long way of saying, Hey, here’s how you learn how to code.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah,
Kijuan Amey: You know what I mean?
Scott DeLuzio: sure.
Kijuan Amey: And so you’re learning coding and a little bit of business as well, because I’m the, like the middleman to the computer engineer and the or software engineer and the business operator, so
Scott DeLuzio: Got it.
Kijuan Amey: owner, what I’m doing is telling this guy, the computer or software engineer, Hey, this is the kind of software that this business needs
Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
Kijuan Amey: person doesn’t know how to talk to this person. And this person doesn’t know how to talk to this person, but I understand both languages.
Scott DeLuzio: Okay.
Kijuan Amey: Yeah.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, I get you. Yep. Yeah,
Kijuan Amey: I’m a linguist.
Scott DeLuzio: yeah. That’s basically what it is, right? You’re, you’re, you’re trying to translate business, speak into, to code [00:13:00] geek speak, and then, then you go to
Kijuan Amey: versa, man.
Scott DeLuzio: and vice versa, right?
Kijuan Amey: So, you know, I did that and, and that also me going to school brought about my business.
Scott DeLuzio: Okay.
Kijuan Amey: Amey
motivation is not my first business. It’s actually my second.
Scott DeLuzio: Okay.
Kijuan Amey: first was Kiwi Enterprise, where I would do website design and management social media marketing, as well as photography.
Scott DeLuzio: Okay.
Kijuan Amey: And I did that for small businesses and those alike. So, and the reason I say those alike is because that day May 5th, I would actually be working for Kiwi Enterprise in the morning and then later on I had to go, you know, work for the military
Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
Kijuan Amey: And so I grabbed my motor, my motorcycle that day because it was a beautiful spring day in North Carolina.
And here in North Carolina you can get well for me ’cause I’m not allergic like to pollen.
Scott DeLuzio: Oh, okay.
Kijuan Amey: people can’t stand.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, sure, sure.
Kijuan Amey: care because I’m not allergic. So I was on my bike loving life and and from where I, my apartment is to where I had to go take [00:14:00] pictures, which was my church. I was updating their website because the, the pictures that they had online were out a date.
Scott DeLuzio: Okay.
Kijuan Amey: And from my apartment to the, to the church was about a 10 minute ride. And when I got done taking the pictures, I was like, this is too short of a ride. I, especially for a nice day like this, I think I should ride a little bit more red flag.
Scott DeLuzio: sure.
Kijuan Amey: And so I take off to the lake here in North Carolina called Jordan Lake,
Scott DeLuzio: Okay.
Kijuan Amey: and I made it there.
No problem. that’s usually the same spot that I always go to. Just kind of relax zone out, meditate, whatever you wanna call it. And I did this all the time. This wasn’t my first time doing it. It was, I’m off. I do it all, all the time. And so any who? Oh, if, by the way, if you see the cover of my book, don’t focus on why me for motorcycle accident, A Miracle. That is the backdrop, the actual spot that I used to go sit. That’s
Scott DeLuzio: okay.
Kijuan Amey: image is there. was the lake that I used to go sit at, [00:15:00] and that was the last place I would visit. Before this accident that I’m getting ready to tell you about.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, sure.
Kijuan Amey: is my actual bike. That’s Nina. She, I did name my bike.
That’s Nina. And so, you know, I get ready to head back to the house because I had to get my stuff to go to work.
Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
Kijuan Amey: Man, as I’m riding down the road, highway 7 51, this is only a two lane highway because it’s a back highway. In the woods here in North Carolina, and we have plenty of them. And North Carolina, North Carolina has these really tall trees.
When you’re in the woods, they’re about 25, 30 feet tall.
Scott DeLuzio: Okay.
Kijuan Amey: They’re really tall, nice and green, you know, whatever. But they’re along both sides of the road, unless it’s at an intersection. Somebody’s driveway. The gas station. This one produce farm that I saw out there. Yeah, it was a produce [00:16:00] farm
Scott DeLuzio: Okay.
Kijuan Amey: And so that’s where the trees would be cut back at, you know, so you can see what’s coming.
Scott DeLuzio: Okay.
Kijuan Amey: the speed limit is like 55 miles an hour. So you don’t wanna just pull out in front of somebody
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, that’s right. Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: And I told you there’s a produce farm, so there’s trucks coming down here too.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: Just imagine pulling out one in front, in front of one of those, and they’re doing 55, 60 miles an hour.
Scott DeLuzio: Y.
Kijuan Amey: with it.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, that’s right. Yeah. It’s not even gonna know you’re there. It’s just gonna keep going.
Kijuan Amey: new, especially now if it’s fully loaded,
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: with it,
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Right.
Kijuan Amey: And so as I’m riding down the the highway I had Bluetooth capability in my headset
Scott DeLuzio: Yep.
Kijuan Amey: or a helmet, shall I say. I’m pretty sure I was listening to the album, 24 Carat Magic by Bruno Mars.
Scott DeLuzio: Okay.
Kijuan Amey: I’m almost certain, because that was around that same time.
It was really popular and I love music that was a great album,
Scott DeLuzio: Okay.
Kijuan Amey: you know? And so I’m jamming out riding to the, to the [00:17:00] music on, on my bike. And I tell you, this was such an amazing day until it wasn’t.
Scott DeLuzio: Mm
Kijuan Amey: And that’s where this silver Honda Accord would pull out in front of me. And pretty much that’s all she wrote.
But I mean, I’ll give you the options that I think I had. I, I, I had the option to go right and go into the trees.
Scott DeLuzio: mm.
Kijuan Amey: I had the option of going left and going to oncoming traffic, or I could do what happened. And that’s freezing up and hitting him
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: because yes, I’ve taken all the motorcycle courses that they have, they offer, None of those courses tell you, Hey, at on May 5th, around 2:00 PM a car’s gonna pull out in front of you.
Scott DeLuzio: Right.
Kijuan Amey: Otherwise I would’ve known.
Scott DeLuzio: That’s right.
Kijuan Amey: And so the fact that, you know, he did [00:18:00] that, I am now unaware. And so he pulls out in front of me and, and I hid him. The impact, of course, was crucial. So deadly man literally crushed my face in,
Scott DeLuzio: Mm.
Kijuan Amey: my spine, both of my legs to include my femur, which is the largest bone in your body. You know, I, I lost my eyesight from it, from all the, just injuries that were sustained to the eyes. And, gosh, I mean, what else? I broke my jaw.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: You know, it’s so much. I, I had, I also lost the sense of smell. I. was due to the reconstructive surgery they had to do to my face. And that’s because my head is, I now have metal plates in my head.
Scott DeLuzio: Oh, okay.
Kijuan Amey: Two, two of them to be exact. And so now that you know, I am life flighted to UNC hospital in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, go Tar heels by the way. I’m a [00:19:00] Tar Hill fan. So now that I’ve been life flighted and you know, they’re trying to figure out what they can do with me. If anything, I am now unconscious. I know nothing about nothing. The fact that I even know it was a silver Honda Accord, the fact that I even know where it was. Any of that is because of a police report.
Scott DeLuzio: Oh, okay.
Kijuan Amey: There were two witnesses. And the reason I say that was ’cause it was two cars behind him who put on the police report that they saw me coming. they don’t know why he didn’t.
Scott DeLuzio: Mm.
Kijuan Amey: Easy case clay’s closed. You are the guy.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Right.
Kijuan Amey: ’em Dano, you know what I
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Right, right.
Kijuan Amey: A month and a day later, man, June the sixth is when I would come outta my medically induced coma. Yeah.
Scott DeLuzio: Man, that’s rough.
Kijuan Amey: Dude, I lost a month of my [00:20:00] life and I still don’t know where it’s at.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Yeah,
Kijuan Amey: It’s somewhere in that hospital though.
Scott DeLuzio: that’s right. Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: I mean? So.
Scott DeLuzio: You know, and, and so, it, you know, you lose, well, two senses really. You lose your eyesight, you lose your sense of smell. And I know I’ve heard. From other people who have lost a sense that other senses get heightened when, when they, they lose a sense like, you know, if you lose your eyesight, maybe your hearing gets, gets you know, more heightened or, or, or something.
I can only imagine after losing two senses, like what that might have done, if that’s even true, what that might have done to you as far as the other senses go, are they like on super high alert or, or is it, you know, kind of basically status quo? Just, you know, the normal you know, level.
Kijuan Amey: Well, no, it is definitely not normal, that normal level what it, what it tends to do is make your brain. Rely on other things.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: So I lost my eyesight. So [00:21:00] now my brain is, is using my hearing to overcompensate for it.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: dude, we lost something. Something’s down, system’s down. We, we gotta, we gotta fire up the emergency system.
Scott DeLuzio: Sure, sure.
Kijuan Amey: know, and that’s, it’s kind of what it is. It reroutes everything. okay reroute. Let’s, let’s try to use something else. What can we use? What, what’s left guys? And that’s what it does. Your brain is very intelligent and capable. Doing these things. Now it’s just gotta figure out what to do it with.
Scott DeLuzio: Right.
Kijuan Amey: And so, okay. Eyes gone. That’s what’s somebody’s troubleshooting ears.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, sure.
Kijuan Amey: Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Let’s try that. Try that. It’s working. It’s working. We’re able to do it, you know, and, and when I tell you my sense of touch is crazy,
Scott DeLuzio: Y.
Kijuan Amey: I, my nephew, he was messing with me yesterday. He kept touching me I had on a hoodie. He kept touching me. I could feel it through the hoodie.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: So good that it was almost like he was touching my skin.
Scott DeLuzio: Oh wow.
Kijuan Amey: And I was like, [00:22:00] what does it feel like? Something’s touching me? And he, I heard it because he was with doing, doing it with a Chinese yo-yo.
Scott DeLuzio: Oh, okay.
Kijuan Amey: why I couldn’t really fit, because that’s paper.
Scott DeLuzio: Yep.
Kijuan Amey: so I was like. If you don’t stop messing with me, because I was like, I thought I was tripping, man. I really thought something was going on.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Right,
Kijuan Amey: I was like, whoa, you like, oh, I was about, because I thought I was going crazy.
Scott DeLuzio: right.
Kijuan Amey: do I feel like something’s touching me?
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: And then I heard it and I was like, boy. And so
Scott DeLuzio: Y.
Kijuan Amey: another one that tightened
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: I mean, I can, I can tell you when, when when it feels like it’s, Hey, man, I think that’s some rain, dude. It’s getting cool.
Scott DeLuzio: Uhhuh.
Kijuan Amey: Yeah.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: breeze is bringing about some rain brother,
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. So you start paying attention to those other variables that are going on in the environment around you that,
Kijuan Amey: Oh
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. So it’s [00:23:00] interesting, you know, hearing how that, that works with o with other people you know, interesting to me at least. So it’s, that’s why I, I wanted to kind of question that and just see, see what that was like for you.
But so you’ve taken this incident, obviously, you, you, got outta the military you know, after, after all that, right? I, I believe that’s, that’s kind of the, the next step after, after all that, right? And, and.
Kijuan Amey: I mean, it took, it took about four years, but yeah.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. I, I, that, that’s the thing that like, just drives me nuts sometimes with the, the military is like, they, they drag things out sometimes and so sometimes it may be good you know, for some people, ’cause maybe, maybe you weren’t prepared for, like, what am I gonna do afterwards?
And okay. So that gives you a little time to prepare. But but, but on the other hand, like, it’s like sometimes it’s like you just wanna get it over with and, and get out and, and move on, right?
Kijuan Amey: One part of that is I did, I wouldn’t mind, you know, getting out sooner if [00:24:00] y. Because that, that, that’s what got me my money.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Okay.
Kijuan Amey: getting paid while I was still in for four
Scott DeLuzio: Uhhuh.
Kijuan Amey: I wasn’t receiving a dime from the military.
Scott DeLuzio: Oh wow.
Kijuan Amey: So now I’m relying on a maybe $1,300 social security check.
Scott DeLuzio: Oh wow.
Kijuan Amey: Maybe, I don’t know if anybody’s seen prices out here today, but $1,300 and I’m living somewhere, got a car insurance I gotta feed myself.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: Luckily, my, my apartment lease was coming due so I didn’t have to stay there, but another, like two months or something.
Scott DeLuzio: Okay.
Kijuan Amey: And so I left there as soon as I could and I went and lived with my grandmother, you know what I mean?
And
Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
Kijuan Amey: thankfully, thankfully she was okay with like, oh, well, I mean, I can buy food and stuff, you know, because I was, I literally still had a car,
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: one with a whole payment.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. That, that’s the thing that comes with the, those [00:25:00] whole cars is the whole payment.
Kijuan Amey: Does not pay for itself.
Scott DeLuzio: yeah. Right, right.
Kijuan Amey: And I mean, I don’t have it anymore now, but you know, I had to find out how I’m gonna pay.
Okay, yes I can afford it, but what do I have left
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: after I pay this? You know?
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: was one of the big things there, man.
Scott DeLuzio: Well one of the things that I, I noticed with, with you just through our conversation before we started recording and, and even now throughout the conversation, is that this is not something that you have let drag you down. You have an upbeat attitude. You’re, you’re friendly, you’re per, you’re very personable.
You, you have a, you know, a great. Attitude about, about yourself and yeah. All these things have happened to you. You know, losing as much as you have, having financial issues, having, you know, medical issues, having all these, these different issues doesn’t seem to be dragging you down. I mean, maybe, yeah, I’m sure there’s, you have your days, but you still [00:26:00] have your, your wits about you, you’re still still friendly.
You’re funny, you, you know, personable. Other people though, sometimes they. They let that negative experience, that traumatic experience, define them, and that becomes everything about them. And it, it’s just like a dark cloud that just lingers over them and doesn’t go away. But it seems like that’s not, that’s not the case with you.
And you’ve, you’ve taken this, you’ve turned it into you know, you have the, the business a. Motivation as well. You know, and you’re using that to impact others, to help other people overcome, you know, the, the issues that they’re going through. Tell us how all that came about and, and what it is that you, you do to help those other folks.
Kijuan Amey: Yeah. You said a word that made me smile. That’s why I was starting to grin like that. You said I didn’t let it define me.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: the hugest part right there. So one of my quotes that I hold on to and I got [00:27:00] this from a TV show, some may know it, some may not. It’s called The Fresh Prince of Bel
Scott DeLuzio: Oh yeah.
Kijuan Amey: Yeah, man. And that was a quote on there, man. And this from like the first season, not the later season, the first season,
Scott DeLuzio: Okay.
Kijuan Amey: and it says, situation does not define who I am. I define who I am,
Scott DeLuzio: There you go. Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: and so I didn’t let the situation of the motorcycle accident the way I was being treated, the way that that my girl, my ex-girlfriend, you know, ghosted me completely.
You know, I didn’t let that stuff define me.
Scott DeLuzio: Right.
Kijuan Amey: lessons from it and made myself better so that I could define who I am. And so when you hear me speak, I speak from experience.
Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
Kijuan Amey: When you hear me I’m mentoring from experience. When you hear me coach, I’m coaching from experience. This is not just something that I’m, oh yeah, well, the book says in chapter three, [00:28:00] you should probably be that ain’t no book.
The book is life right now.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Right,
Kijuan Amey: is.
Scott DeLuzio: right.
Kijuan Amey: is my life and I’m gonna speak to you from life experiences. Who better to, to, to teach you something than somebody who’s been through it. I don’t want you to just be telling me something that you heard.
Scott DeLuzio: Right.
Kijuan Amey: ’cause that doesn’t to me. I’ve heard a lot of things too.
It ain’t doing nothing for me,
Scott DeLuzio: Sure. Sure.
Kijuan Amey: So I’ve heard about a billion dollars. Still don’t know what that feels like.
Scott DeLuzio: Right.
Kijuan Amey: I wish I did,
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Right, right.
Kijuan Amey: but, you know, it’s, it is just that, those types of mindsets and, and, and man, I love what I do
Scott DeLuzio: That’s awesome.
Kijuan Amey: I mean, I thought I loved, you know, that inflight re refilling thing.
I love the coolness of it. It’s very cool. It’s really, man, I mean, ain’t nothing, ain’t nothing like that.
Scott DeLuzio: Right.
Kijuan Amey: But I love what I do now
Scott DeLuzio: Well.
Kijuan Amey: impacting people.
Scott DeLuzio: [00:29:00] Yeah. And, and when you, when you have something like that where you’re impacting people, it, and it’s fulfilling to you, it’s something that, that you enjoy that you, you know, love to do and you’re, you’re actually helping other people. You probably don’t feel like you ever have to say, I have to go to work today.
It’s more like I get to go to work today.
Kijuan Amey: Yeah.
Scott DeLuzio: And I, I, I think that there’s like a key difference there because a lot of people, they, they go to their nine to five job and they hate it, and they’re punching the clock and they, you know, they, they’re there because they have to be there because they need the paycheck to pay the bills for the stuff that they don’t really want.
But they have anyways. And they, you know, they, they’re, they’re, they’re spending all their time doing things that they hate just for the paycheck. But. I’m not saying that there, there’s anything necessarily wrong with having a job like that. You know, obviously that if you gotta pay the bills, you gotta pay the bills, but
Kijuan Amey: Yeah.
Scott DeLuzio: [00:30:00] you know, expand your, your way of thinking to, to something kind of like what you’re, you’re saying here is like, man, I, I love what I do.
This is just a, a great experience. I, I love being able to do this stuff. So, you know, I I feel like the, the more people understand that. There is something out there for them that they can actually enjoy what they do too. That, you know, the better off people will be. But you know, the, the type of work that you do, you’re out there, there helping people and, and like you said, speaking from experience you know, in what ways are you able to kind of coach and guide people through you know, the, the situations they’re in?
Kijuan Amey: Well, first and foremost you know, I just listen to what they say.
Scott DeLuzio: Okay.
Kijuan Amey: If you’re not listening, then you, you can’t help anybody. And I, and I, let me say that one more time. If you are not listening, you cannot help anybody.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: Mental therapy, physical therapy, any therapy, any coaching, I [00:31:00] don’t care if it’s life, resilience, whatever, coaching, even if it’s sports coaching.
If you’re not listening to the young man or the young woman say what they’re, they have to say first. You can’t help them.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: So that’s the first way I help, is by listening to you, well, what are you dealing with? What is the part that you might, you know, need to be coached Because there’s different things that I might have to tell you. I can’t tell you the same thing I just told Sally, because
Scott DeLuzio: That’s right.
Kijuan Amey: Sally’s situation ain’t the same as yours.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: if I just go based off, straight off of what she said or what I just told her, you are gonna be, ah, how does that apply to
Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Right.
Kijuan Amey: You know what I mean?
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: that’s the first thing is listening. Then I dissect.
Okay. Now let me, okay, I heard what you said about that. What, what, what I would do is I would do this. Implement, and that’s the, that’s the next one. After you, after I [00:32:00] dissect it, I want you to now implement this. After you implement it, bring me the results. Because what the results tell me are not, it’s not to say, oh yeah, I did that, I did that.
No. The results are to tell me if it worked,
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: because if it didn’t, let’s go back to the drawing board. We’re gonna start back over. Let me listen to you again. I’m listening to your results. Now dissect the results. We’re gonna implement what I gave you from the results, and then we’re gonna see the new results because it might not always work that first time.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, that’s right.
Kijuan Amey: You know what I mean? It is not just a one stop shop or we nailed it on the first try. I mean, I hope we nail it on the first try.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: saying I won’t. I’m just saying that that’s life,
Scott DeLuzio: Right. Yeah. No, yeah. And you, you don’t always get it right the first time. And I think that that applies to so many different situations in, in our lives. And I’m glad you brought that up because when. Like someone maybe goes to a therapist, you know, for counseling or, or whatever, and [00:33:00] they, they go to that person and they’re like, this person sucks.
They, they’re not doing it for me. And then they just give up on therapy altogether. Well, I. I mean, maybe try somebody else. ’cause maybe that just that one person didn’t click with you and you know, maybe there’s, there’s somebody else out there. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you gotta give up on therapy altogether, if that’s something that you need.
It’s just, you know, maybe that that one person isn’t the, the right person for you. Thomas Edison, I think it was said when he was trying to invent the light bulb he said, I. I didn’t fail when I was trying all these different experiments and, and, and everything. He just, he, he said, I just found 10, 10,000 ways that didn’t work.
Exactly. You know, and, and so all of those were, were successes In his mind,
Kijuan Amey: Yes,
Scott DeLuzio: I don’t have to spend any more time on this way. That doesn’t work. But I can learn some lessons from it. Like, you know, maybe I got a spark that lasted for a second or two and okay, well maybe what caused that spark?
Maybe I’ll use that a little bit more of, you know, whatever, to, to get that to work. And, and eventually he figured it [00:34:00] out. Yeah, sure. Maybe it took many, many tries to get there, but eventually he figured out. And I mean, it’s for, if you’re listening to this, just like take a peek around the room, you got light bulbs everywhere.
It obviously worked, right?
Kijuan Amey: Yeah, obviously.
Scott DeLuzio: And so like, that’s a, I think a great example, but it doesn’t need to take 10,000 tries to get to whatever that answer is. Like you said, hopefully you get it right on the first try, but if you don’t, keep trying and, and try something different, learn from that experience and, and use that as a, just another data point to help you make a, a better, more informed decision going forward.
And I, I think that’s a, you know, a smart way to look at it.
Kijuan Amey: Yeah.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Now for those, those folks who are maybe struggling, they’re dealing with whatever life throws at them, something similar to your situation, maybe a unexpected medical issue or, or something like that, some life changes. But they’re just struggling with that.
Like what, for, for them, like, if you were to [00:35:00] give them, like what’s their first step? What, what do you, what do you recommend to kind of get people back on track?
Kijuan Amey: Well, I mean, the first thing, and, and that’s kind of like what I had to do. I just had to assess the situation, man,
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: like, what the heck is going on? And, and the, the biggest thing you could do is be real with yourself. What happened?
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: it was. I mean, even me, when I first had my accident, I, I thought it was my fault
Scott DeLuzio: Mm
Kijuan Amey: ’cause I hadn’t asked anybody yet. So
Scott DeLuzio: oh, okay.
Kijuan Amey: assessing the situation in a manner of. Not having all the information,
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: having all the facts, so you can do it that way and stay that way where you don’t have all the information and don’t have all the facts, or you can start asking questions.
Scott DeLuzio: that’s right.
Kijuan Amey: What happened?
Scott DeLuzio: I.
Kijuan Amey: Was this, my fault? Was this somebody else’s fault? Did I move something? You know, did I [00:36:00] put this table in the middle of the floor and then forgot about it? ’cause the lights were off and now I’m stu my toe and I’m flipped over the table, over the couch and everything else, and bust my head on the back.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Right, right.
Kijuan Amey: what I mean? What happened?
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: You know that. So assess the situation, man.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah,
Kijuan Amey: back to, okay, how do I fix this?
Scott DeLuzio: yeah, yeah.
Kijuan Amey: how do I gain from this? Because. Not only fixing you, you could fix, fix things, but sometimes life’s not gonna be the same.
Scott DeLuzio: Hmm.
Kijuan Amey: For example, they fixed me and I’m doing air quotes.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: reason I say fixed in air quotes is because they had to do all these different surgery and, and insert rods, screws, plates, everything. I gotta learn how to use this stuff now.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: I have never had metal in my body. You know,
Scott DeLuzio: Right.
Kijuan Amey: been not able to see, I just [00:37:00] turn on the light when I can’t see, know,
Scott DeLuzio: Right.
Kijuan Amey: I can’t, I can turn on any light. You want me to ask me if I can see? Nope.
Scott DeLuzio: Exactly. Yeah. And,
Kijuan Amey: no.
Scott DeLuzio: and,
Kijuan Amey: so,
Scott DeLuzio: and so learning, learning how to adapt to that
Kijuan Amey: yeah.
Scott DeLuzio: environment, right?
Kijuan Amey: curve. Mm-hmm. so that’s where, that’s another huge thing is adapting because. With me, I did adaptive sports. What does that mean? Okay. I still play sports, but they’re adapted to my ability, not disability,
Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
Kijuan Amey: I can still walk, I can still jog, I can still move my arms. What can I do? Can I keep myself upright?
Okay. He can, so he can do this part.
Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
Kijuan Amey: Okay, well, it hurts his back. When he stays up too long. Well let him, let him sit down for a little while. We, we adapt to what I’m able to do, not what I’m not able to do.
Scott DeLuzio: Right.
Kijuan Amey: You know, and that’s the biggest part is [00:38:00] focus on what you can do, not what you can’t.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, I agree. Because we still can do a lot of things, you know, despite all of your injuries, you know, can’t see, can’t smell. Back problems, you know, all these other, you know, issues that you might have. Doesn’t mean that you can’t, like you said, like you can’t get up and walk and jog and, and things.
Sure. Maybe there’s some. Limitations. You’re probably not gonna wanna go on a very windy trail, you know, that’s, that. You’d probably prefer a more straight path. I would imagine, you know, if this, if this was me, that’s probably what I would prefer is just the kind of straight direction. But, but even still, even if it was windy, like you still have ways of adapting to that.
You still can be able to sense that, hey, that, that this road is turning a little bit, or, you know, not the road necessarily, but the path, right? It’s turning. So, so you can, you can still do those things. And I, I, I think you know, again, going back to that mentality that a lot of people have where [00:39:00] they allow that that issue that they’re having or the, the situation that they’re in to define them.
If that’s where you’re at in life and you’re, you’re allowing that situation to define you, you’re not even gonna get up off the couch. It’s like, well, geez, I can’t see where I’m going, so I, I can’t. I can’t do that. And so you’re just gonna sit there and you’re not going to be successful, be motivated, be any of those things.
You’re, but, but you need to, you need to get up off the couch. You need to start moving and test your limits just like anything else with life, like whether you, have lost your eyesight or not anything that you’re doing in life, you gotta test those limits and, and see can I push the boundaries a little bit?
Kijuan Amey: Mm-hmm.
Scott DeLuzio: and, and that’s how you grow and that’s how you get better. You know, you talk about like post-traumatic growth instead of post-traumatic stress, like grow from that instead of
Kijuan Amey: I like
Scott DeLuzio: dealing with the, the stress of, of the situation. Use that as fuel [00:40:00] to you know, throw on the fire and, and get yourself.
Moving, you know, a little bit, a little bit further, right? I wanna talk a little bit about your book before we, we wrap up here. You, you mentioned it earlier. Tell us, tell us a little bit more about what it is, what readers can expect from it, what you hope they can take away from it. And, and you know, all that kind of stuff.
Kijuan Amey: Yeah, so don’t focus on why me from motorcycle accident to Miracle. First and foremost, you can find it on Amazon. That’s the paperback version. Kendall audible as well as Apple Books are the audio versions. so with this book, I’m telling you my side, my point of view
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: Basically what happened, what transpired, what I was going through when I woke up, when I was in the hospital, when I was doing rehab, all that stuff, all that recovery, depression, suicidal thoughts, everything
Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
Kijuan Amey: I’m telling, telling it all.
Okay? And it’s from my point of view and why I say it’s from my point of view because I actually wrote the book, [00:41:00] no Ghost writer, none of that. It was me. the Blind Man, key one, I wrote that book, sat behind a computer for hours a day, and writing and writing. And when I, at first, I, I didn’t care to write this book.
’cause I mean, English wasn’t my best subject. Math was so don’t get me wrong. I, I can, I’m very intelligent, but math was more of my forte.
Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
Kijuan Amey: I just didn’t think I would ever write a book,
Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
Kijuan Amey: And so when it came to writing this book, it was because I was pushed, I was pushed not only by you know, people in my circle, but you know, God was like, Hey man, I think you should do this.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: do. I believe in you. This, this will matter to someone. And so, you know, with that being. The fuel, [00:42:00] I ignited the fire. And so now with this book being written, I mean, I kind of like I told you guys, I, I take you through a lot of things. The journey basically I’ll give you a little bit of what I used to do, you know, at the, the time before the accident and all that stuff.
I was 25 at the time. Everything I was doing before that, and then I take you to the accident.
Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
Kijuan Amey: You know, and walk you through that stuff. And even the therapy side of it, man. And, and I don’t mean physical, I mean mental,
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah
Kijuan Amey: because that’s huge. And I, ’cause I still go through mental therapy by the way. I still, go through those sessions.
Scott DeLuzio: sure.
Kijuan Amey: And so, excuse me. The other thing about this book is that write it differently. So MI military members, when we go to bootcamp. And nowadays it’s kind of different ’cause they, they can use their phones, a little bit more than I could Every Sunday I got to [00:43:00] use my phone.
Scott DeLuzio: Okay.
Kijuan Amey: it. Because they, they weren’t using the payphones anymore.
The payphones are basically outta service.
Scott DeLuzio: Oh.
Kijuan Amey: on the base, but they’re outta service. But now there are no payphones on the base. There’s zero payphone.
Scott DeLuzio: Wow.
Kijuan Amey: So you have no choice but to use a cell phone.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Times are different. They, they,
Kijuan Amey: absolutely.
Scott DeLuzio: I had no, I had no access to the phones while I was in.
Kijuan Amey: Right, right. Exactly. And so, you would write letters,
Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
Kijuan Amey: you wrote letters to your family, your friends, your significant others, boy oh boy did I love getting those, me those letters from my, my girlfriend at the
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: I love those letters. ’cause she would put, she would put on some Glip gloss and kiss the letter. She would spray her perfume on it. Oh my dude, you listen. It was guys over there trying to smell my letter. Hey man, if y’all don’t move, I don’t want y’all knowing nothing about my girl.
Scott DeLuzio: That’s right.
Kijuan Amey: But anyway I did it like that. The book is, it’s, it’s kind of written in a letter, like I wrote a letter to you, the reader, and when I tell you it’s [00:44:00] so well done in that manner too. Like I, I start off with Dear Reader, and I finish it with sincerely Kiwi,
Scott DeLuzio: Oh, okay.
Kijuan Amey: like literally I’m writing letters to you throughout the book, and that’s how the chapters are written. And I, I wish I could take all the credit for it, but man, my editor, he was actually an Army guy.
Scott DeLuzio: Okay.
Kijuan Amey: A, he’s retired now, but he’s an army guy. He, I think he lives in Thailand or something. Now. So that was pretty cool that he was living in Thailand. I’m living in, on the East coast. We were literally 12 hours apart, right?
Scott DeLuzio: Yep.
Kijuan Amey: So he would be waking up doing his edits. I would be going to sleep, and then when I wake up, I’m doing my edits, he’s going to sleep. So we were literally trading off the, I mean, we were knocking that book out like clockwork,
Scott DeLuzio: I was gonna say that must have been a good flow.
Kijuan Amey: It was perfect. And so, anyway, That book is [00:45:00] just, it’s, it’s like me pouring myself out
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah,
Kijuan Amey: onto pages. Now, I, you know, the military, they don’t train you to be vulnerable.
Scott DeLuzio: right. The, the opposite.
Kijuan Amey: I had to, I had to turn that, I had to turn that switch back on somehow
Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
Kijuan Amey: because that’s what I was trying to do. I was trying to be as vulnerable as I could. As open as well
Scott DeLuzio: Uhhuh.
Kijuan Amey: ’cause I wanted you to understand the realness that I was going through. So yeah, man, that’s, that’s how the book came about. And what I want my readers to get outta this is that there is going to be some level of con of connection. If you think of just what I went through and we are not, when you read it, it’s a lot different than what, what I’m speaking. And so what I went through, how I was feeling at the time. I told y’all I got ghosted. I wrote about that. I told y’all about the mental therapy. I told you about the physical therapy. I told you about the depression and suicide. I write all about this stuff. You want to read this?
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: I’m telling you. And get your tissue [00:46:00] now I’m telling you. ’cause I know. I’ve heard the people say I had to carry me some tissue,
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Right. Well it, and thank you for, for sharing that. And I, you know, I don’t wanna obviously give too much away from the book. I want people to go out and get, get a copy of the book and read it and but. But I love the, the, that first part of the title, don’t focus on Why me. You know, because that’s, that’s a mindset I think that we were talking about this whole time is that, you know, oh, why me?
You know, why did this happen to me? It’s like, well, you know what it did and who the why, who cares? It just happened. And, and so move on from that and, and use that experience and, and so, and I, I, I really do believe this, I think everybody’s story. Is, is valuable and needs to be told because that may be the, the roadmap that somebody else uses to kind of kickstart their their life, get, get that back on track.
And so, you know, someone like yourself writing that story, getting it out there I think is, is super important. And so I, [00:47:00] I do appreciate you first off for. Writing the story, it’s not, not the easiest thing to do you know, to, to write a book, especially about something as traumatic as you know, what, what took place there.
But but also coming on here and sharing your story and everything, I, I, I really do you know, appreciate all that.
Kijuan Amey: Yeah.
Scott DeLuzio: You, you did mention you know, the book is available on, on Amazon. If people want to connect with you you know, to, to get in touch about any motivation and, and what you, you do there where, where can they go to find out more information?
Kijuan Amey: Absolutely. I can definitely tell ’em that. That’s Amey motivation.com. That’s a M E Y motivation.com. You can go on there. You can actually find my book on there. There’s a link to it. can go in there to book me for your conferences, your conventions, your events, your galas, whatever event you want me to speak at, I will come to you, might be a fee, I will come.
Scott DeLuzio: There you go. Yeah.
Kijuan Amey: then if you want to follow me on social media, you can go to my Facebook, my Instagram, my [00:48:00] LinkedIn, and all you have to do is search my first and last name, Kijuan Amey First name is K-I-J-U-A-N, last name a MEY.
Scott DeLuzio: Excellent. Well, I will have links to all that in the show notes for the listeners to check out when they you know, hear this episode. I’m, I’m sure there’s gonna be people who wanna, you know, get in touch with you, get a copy of your book, all of those, those great things. So, you know, thank you Kijuan for.
Coming on the show again sharing your, your journey through this, this whole ordeal, and, you know, everything that, that it is, that you do you know, to, to help other folks. I, I really do appreciate all, all that you do and the, the, the work that you do. So, so thanks again for taking the time to come on.
Kijuan Amey: Thank you so much, Scott. I appreciate it.