Episode 532 Ben Sykes Fighting the Rush After Combat Transcript
This transcript is from episode 532 with guest Ben Sykes.
Scott DeLuzio: [00:00:00] You get home, but home doesn’t feel like home anymore. The noise in your head never really stops. The calm moments feel like they’re missing something and that something might just be danger. You try to sit still at work, but your eyes keep scanning the exits. You love your family, but a part of you aches for the brotherhood, the purpose, the raw intensity that civilian life just can’t touch.
Ben Sykes knows this fight from a Hollywood desk job to a marine machine gunner in the invasion of Iraq. He’s lived through firefights adrenaline highs and the brutal crash landing back into civilian life. In this conversation, we are gonna talk about the, that rush, the withdrawal, and the road back to finding.
Purpose in civilian life. But before we begin, I do want to take a moment to raise awareness for something deeply important to our community. The Global War On Terrorism Memorial Foundation. This organization is working to build a permanent national memorial in Washington DC [00:01:00] to honor the service members, families, and civilians who are impacted by the global war on terrorism.
This memorial will serve as both a tribute to those who served and a way to ensure that their sacrifices are recognized and remembered for generations to come. If you would like to learn more or find out how you can support the mission, visit GWOT memorial foundation.org. Now, let’s get into today’s episode.
Scott DeLuzio: Hey, Ben, welcome to the show. Really glad to have you here. Looking forward to this conversation.
Ben Sykes: Yeah, Yeah. Great to be here.
Thanks for having me. Appreciate it.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, you bet. I always like to do this with, with folks when, when we you know, first start talking just to get a little bit information about their background, a little bit of their military history, that type of thing.
I, you were, you were in Iraq and you. Tell, you know the whole story better than I do. Tell us the whole story. Tell us about, you know, who you are, your [00:02:00] background, your military experience, and kind of, you know, kind of lead into the transition out of the military and, and kind of how all that that went for you.
Ben Sykes: Yeah. Yeah, no problem. So, nine 11. I’m living in North Hollywood. I’m working on flash websites for the studios. At the time, I’m 27 years old. I was I was drinking a 40 ounce. I don’t drink anymore. 40 ounce in the morning. I’m listening to Howard Stern and it’s, he seems a little, a little
off today and I know what’s going on. I turn on the television
with the bunny ears ’cause I didn’t have cable at the
And I kind of caught like what was
happening. And
Be told, I was sort of like, oh man, that’s wild. And then the second plane hit and you’re like, oh, oh, okay. But it
really didn’t it, it didn’t it didn’t shock
me at the time. I was too focused on work.
Scott DeLuzio: sure.
Ben Sykes: And then then all my contract, I mean, obviously the world changed instantly and all of my contracts stopped. So I thought, well, what am I gonna do now? I gotta get a job. I was working for myself at the time, and so I applied [00:03:00] for job that I could find that was in tech or web design or whatnot, and I got a hit.
And so, I went to this company, it was in Chatsworth and I showed up and I, I know it was a office park
and all the cubicles had shower curtains
around them, which I thought was kind of weird.
Scott DeLuzio: It is strange. Yeah.
Ben Sykes: But I, I, I had a good interview and it was good. It was gonna run their web properties of this company.
And then you know, I said, okay, well I got some leads. And again, you know, everything had stopped nine 11, as, you know, changed everything. And so, a couple of days later, they, they, they, they called me again and they said, they said, why don’t we, we want you to come back to for a second interview.
I said, great. I came back and met in the conference room, talked to everybody and, and then, you know, shortly thereafter they made me, they, they made me an offer and the company was I didn’t know at the time, I kind of all put it together. End was a BN adult video News. They put on the porn awards every year in Vegas. I thought, [00:04:00] I don’t think I, I don’t think that’s what I wanna be doing, I’m, I’m watching an infomercial. This is all true. I’m watching an infomercial like two in the morning. I can’t sleep. And it’s like, yeah, it’s something about if you’re 80 years old and you have regrets, you probably should have, you probably should have done it when you had the chance. I thought, you know what, I’m, this is my opportunity to enlist to the military. I always wanted to, this is it. I’m 27, I’m gonna give it a shot. I went down to the Van Nuys recruiting station and I walked in there and they kind of like looked at me and laughed like, what are whatcha talking about? Marine Corps? sure enough. got September 11th, 2001, October 31st. So a month later on
Halloween at
midnight yellow footprints.
And that’s, that’s where it started. So
Scott DeLuzio: Oh wow. Okay.
Ben Sykes: off to the races and we’re in it. And you know, I I, when I went through the recruiting process, you know, what do you want to be?
And I’m thinking, be recon.
[00:05:00] And they sort of laughed at me and
said, you’re a machine gunner. I said,
good to go.
Scott DeLuzio: Right, exactly. I, I remember when I was in basic training, I, I wasn’t you know, quite the same age I was, but I was on the older end of, of the folks who were in, in basic training. Yeah. I was, I think I was like 24, 25, something like that. And when I was, when I was going through basic training and yeah, 24 and, i, I remember being on the, the 50 cal range and I’m sitting there, I’m shooting and I’m thinking they are paying me to do this. This is awesome. You know?
Ben Sykes: Yeah,
Scott DeLuzio: And so how, how was it going through basic, as, you know, one of the older guys going, going through not a, you know, 17, 18-year-old kid, you know, just fresh outta high school.
And what was that like for you? Was it, was it tough to keep up for you or, or were you able to.
Ben Sykes: tell you. So I, I was, I had difficulty with the
PFT originally, I had a first class PFT at the
end of it. I loved it.
Scott DeLuzio: Excellent.
Ben Sykes: loved it. And because of my age, and they found out that I had done some work in, [00:06:00] in films when I was living in la so they were like, you’re gonna be a scribe.
So I scribe throughout the entire thing, and I was older than all my drill instructors and, yeah, I, I loved it. I, I only
kind of, I sometimes I wish, is there a way that I could go back, just do
bootcamp again, kind of get my head straight and
Scott DeLuzio: Right.
Ben Sykes: But I, I loved it. I mean, I, we all say we loved it and, but there were so many days and, and if you were a, a Hollywood Marine, like myself at MCRD man, you just see all those planes taken off from
San Diego Airport
’cause it’s right next door and you’re thinking I
would do anything to
be on.
Scott DeLuzio: Right. Yeah. I mean, in the, in the moment it, like, looking back on it now, it, it’s like, wow, the, the, that was great. That was awesome. I would do it again. But in the moment sometimes it’s like, man, this sucks. Like, your, your muscles are sore, you’re tired, you’re hungry. Everything is, everything’s sucking at that in that moment.
But looking back on it, it’s like, man, I, I would, I would do that again. You know? I get it.
Ben Sykes: it’s funny because they, people see a [00:07:00] full metal jacket and they think, man, that looks hard. And then, but
the reality is like, so in, in full metal jacket, you had a
senior drill instructor and then that was it.
Scott DeLuzio: Right.
Ben Sykes: The
Scott DeLuzio: I.
Ben Sykes: is you’ve got four guys that are just ruthless, so it’s much worse than the film.
I mean, much worse than if that film, I would every, you know, one Dr. Senior drill instructor. That’s great. And senior drill instructor always plays the good cop. But yeah, it’s so much worse than the movie ever was and God, I mean,
you know, I, I don’t think I would want it any other
way now looking
now, but
Scott DeLuzio: Right. Well, and it’s good that it’s, that it’s difficult too because you, you don’t want people coming through you know, becoming marines or soldiers or sailors, whatever. And.
And they’re, they’re not prepared for the realities of, of the jobs. Right. And so,
Ben Sykes: my
Scott DeLuzio: So it’s gotta be difficult. So,
So that, I think that’s a good thing.
They did their job in that, that case. Right.
Ben Sykes: Oh, they.
Scott DeLuzio: yeah. Tell us, tell us a little bit about, you know, [00:08:00] kind of post basic training mentioned a deployment to Iraq. What was that deployment like for you? What, what were you, what were you up to there? And, and any interesting stories from there?
Ben Sykes: Oh, we have a ton of them actually. So, so, you know, get out of bootcamp and then I’ve got the 10 day bootle and I, because I, there’s kind of, you kind of fall through the cracks when you’re older. So I had to, I, I didn’t have a job. I had one, now I was working for Uncle Sam, but am I gonna do with my apartment? So I had to move outta my apartment. My lease, coincidentally my lease was up, so it worked out. So where am I going on 10 Day Bootle. I don’t have family to stay with, so I stayed with on the couch of my next door neighbors of the apartment I used to live in, which was interesting for 10 days. And then I was able to get a ride back to Pendleton for a school of Infantry and, you know, school of imagery was phy much more demanding physically. ’cause I mean, you, you know, you’re in class all day. You’re, you’re running all morning, you’re in class all day, [00:09:00] and then you’re on the range and, and you’re carrying, you know, so I’m, I’m learning. I’m, I’m a 31 0 3, 31 machine gunner. 50 cal, mark 19 and the M two 40 golf, all those weapon systems, assembly, disassembly, all day, every day.
You’re
humping with them, you’re running with them, the whole thing. And Mark 19
is not,
It’s, it’s not light.
Scott DeLuzio: No, it’s not.
Ben Sykes: And then of course, there’s the ammo as well. You’ve gotta hump that as well. So, school of members imagery was a rude awakening in some ways. But you get there and you think that, you know, you’re in the bootcamp mentality and then all of a sudden you have this freedom.
like, I don’t, what am I, what am I supposed to do? I don’t know what
to do. So it’s, it was a bit of an adjustment,
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Ben Sykes: but no, I, I, it was great. So School of Infantry and then after School of Infantry, because I signed up as a reservist one week and a month, two weeks a year nonsense. Which wasn’t the case ’cause I was activated immediately.
So I went home briefly, but I didn’t have a home, so I ended up living outta my car.
Scott DeLuzio: Oh.
Ben Sykes: In Venice Beach. I didn’t have an [00:10:00] apartment, so I lived outta my car and I’m like, well, I’m, I have this, this, there’s a window. I probably should have just got joined the fleet immediately after that, but I, I, I found, got an apartment and I finally found a job.
And so I wasn’t, it didn’t take too long it but in, in this window of time. And then once I started working, I think it was like. Two weeks into the job, I get a phone call from First Sergeant. He says Hey Sykes, I got some good news and some bad news. And I’m like, alright, lay it on me first Sergeant.
He is like, you got 10 days to get your life together. I’m like, whatcha talking about? He’s like, you get deployed. So I’m like, all right, so 10 days, I gotta do will and testament. I gotta do power of attorney, all this sort of stuff. And I gotta tell my my new roommate, ’cause I just finally found a place.
I’m like, Hey, I’m. probably gonna be the best roommate you’ve ever had. ’cause
I’m just not gonna be here for like, maybe a year or so long,
or ever. We don’t know if we’re coming back.
Scott DeLuzio: That’s right. Yeah.
Ben Sykes: So then yeah, so we, we we, you know, we’re, we’re back at Pendleton. We’re in the field 24 7. 24 7. I mean, we’re living [00:11:00] in the field and because we’re unit, we’ve got a lot to prove and a lot of the guys are x.
Mil ex-police or SWAT or whatever. So, you know, we’re like, you’re not, you’re not special at all. So we really just got hammered. And then yeah, we, then we, we flew, we we flew to Iraq and, and ended up providing security for so we la you know, we flew to Iraq, we stopped in Shannon, which, you know, which now is public, but at the time it wasn’t. We landed in Shannon and of course, you know, we’re flying just a commercial airline, so, so all the, all the all the lance corporals and privates and whatnot. So you’re loading the plane ’cause they don’t have the staff to do it. So you’re loading all, all of that and then and then all the
firearms, all the, you know, all the weapons systems,
all of those are underneath the seats,
Scott DeLuzio: Yep.
Ben Sykes: right. So, I mean, to see it, I mean, if you’re, you know, so this, this, you know, then obviously there’s regular stewardess and stewards, so. So we had to be on our best behavior. But we fly to Shannon, we stop in Shannon, we have [00:12:00] Guinness, which was great. Got a photo op, and then we go from Shannon directly to to Kuwait.
And then from there they funnel us to camp Commando, which is, which is where everyone was. It was a staging for all Allied forces. So we had, you know, British Royal Marines and Seals and whatnot. So we’re there for a long period of time. We’re doing gas masks around us doing all this stuff because our job is gonna be, you know, weapons of mass destruction.
And, and we were gonna have to be in mop four, which we were for a large portion. And, yeah, what happens? We cross the LOD and we’re in
it. So we’re a day behind Jessica Lynch
Scott DeLuzio: Oh.
Ben Sykes: the battle in Nazarea. And we’re in a convoy. I mean, you’re, it’s like you’re in traffic on the 35 in, in Austin, here. You’re in a convoy waiting, and as we get closer and closer, there’s more bodies. And there’s more wreckage and there’s more bodies. And then we see a tour it off and you’re like, whoa. And here we are. And it’s just, now we’re in the fight. So we’re in, now we’re in a full on firefight. We got one four on the, [00:13:00] on the ground and prone guy turns around and he is like, kill these motherfuckers.
And we just unloaded, I mean M two 40 golf on this entire building. They didn’t have tracks for us, right? So we’re on seven tons with sandbags. The entire time.
Scott DeLuzio: Wow.
Ben Sykes: we’re, you know, we’re sitting ducks, but we don’t care. We’re like, we know our job. Everyone put, kept their sector of fire intact. he, we’re taking massive fire and we’re, you know, and then we keep moving through. We keep moving through. And I’ll tell you, it was the, it was the greatest, it was the greatest sort of mind, mind breaking you would ever imagine is that there’s a couple of Marines that are sitting on emini boxes having chow. Like, nothing’s going on. And you’re like, what is that? Like there’s a firefight that’s right
there. It’s like 50 yards away and these guys are like, it was the weirdest thing. It was
so bizarre.
Scott DeLuzio: Like didn’t even phase him. Kind of Like, they were just yeah,
Ben Sykes: yeah, what, what is [00:14:00] this? And it reminded me, actually, there’s a, there’s a what’s the, what’s the movie Apocalypse Now?
Where all of a sudden they had this Playboy convention in the middle of the jungle. And you’re like, that’s not realistic at
all. And now I’m like, oh yeah, that’s totally
realistic. I could totally see that happening.
Scott DeLuzio: Sure. Sure.
Ben Sykes: so we’re in Nazarea. We’re going all the way up the free phrase. We’re going from each individual town and we’re doing raids and we’re finding, looking for weapons of mass destruction, all on mop four you know, just without the gas mask.
And then gas, gas, gas comes down or mop four the whole
deal. It
continues on. I’ll just keep going if you want.
Scott DeLuzio: Sure, sure. Yeah. I, I mean,
I, I think.
I, I, you know, deployments you know, you, you mentioned something like you know, having the, the, your rifles and everything on the, the plane, like under the seats and stuff. That was the same experience I had too, so I know exactly what you’re talking about. It, it was, that was like a surreal thing, but a lot of the, the stuff that, that happens during a [00:15:00] deployment I, I especially, you know, someone’s first deployment you know, if, if you have multiple deployments, you start to know.
What is normal and what is abnormal and, and stuff. But when, when you’re, you’re going into a deployment in a, a combat zone, Iraq, Afghanistan, any of those, those types of places, everything is pretty much abnormal to you. That very first time you, you step off the plane and, you know, the, the culture is different.
And then how people react in you know, a combat situation when there’s, there’s bullets flying overhead, or, you know, bombs being exploded or all those things. It. You don’t know how people are gonna react until they’re in that situation.
Ben Sykes: It’s
Scott DeLuzio: could have, you could have the guy who’s, you know, talks the most shit and you know, in training and he is like, oh yeah, no, I, I, I would do this and I would do that, and I would do all these things.
Yep.
Ben Sykes: in person. Yeah.
Scott DeLuzio: Exactly. And then, then the bulls start flying and they, they just shut the fuck up and they don’t know what to do. Right. And, and,
Ben Sykes: right.
Scott DeLuzio: and, and you have, and then everything in between, you might have someone who is like nervous and, [00:16:00] you know, in training and they, they’re, they’re like timid and all that. And then real bulls start flying and they, they become a stud.
And, and so it, you really don’t know how, how that’s gonna take place. But but it’s, I guess, I, I guess just really every, everybody’s experience is gonna be different when, when it comes to a deployment like that. And you know, I, I’m, I’m sure your deployment and especially, you know, being in that, that same area, like kind of right around the time of the, the Jessica Lynch and everything like that, there’s a lot of media tension on what’s going on in that area.
And so it probably, that probably, I would imagine complicated things a little bit for you guys, or, or, or was it just kind of like another one of those things you just kind of brushed off and didn’t even think about?
Ben Sykes: Well, we had, so Rick Leventhal from Fox since connected with him on Instagram years later. But he was our
embed, but we were, we were in the front, so there was,
we were just like, we’re just going.
Scott DeLuzio: Oh, okay. So that wasn’t even an issue, right?
Ben Sykes: No,
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Ben Sykes: a bit. And yeah, it was, we were just, we were just going and [00:17:00] we were, you know, and firefights throughout all of the, all the way until we got to Baghdad where we. We’re ambushed and more, we
got to see the guys with
ILS. Right? Imaginary
lat syndrome suddenly fold
Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
Ben Sykes: and you’re like, got it.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Ben Sykes: that. But before I get into like,
we’re getting into Baghdad and, and like, we had some
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Yeah.
Ben Sykes: big milestone sort of, experiences. one of the things that nobody talks about, which was sort of like a rude awakening is like the moment where you’re like,
there is no place. There’s no place to
shit. So how is that gonna work?
Scott DeLuzio: you’re a giant cowboy.
Ben Sykes: the middle of nowhere and then all of a sudden, like people gotta go, oh, how does this go? I mean, that’s like, welcome to, welcome to the, welcome to Reality. So there you go. Everyone’s just, you just
dropping trow in the middle of a field. You’re
like, ah. Interesting. Okay, so, so that’s new. that was like for the entire deployment. And then. [00:18:00]
Then the
first time you get
shot at, you’re like,
wait, is this, is this really happening?
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, the, the
the bullets are coming this way, not, not the other way. Like that. What
Ben Sykes: You’re like,
Scott DeLuzio: hell?
Ben Sykes: dink dink,
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Okay.
Ben Sykes: wait. All right. you know what, what does they, what do they say? They say? Well, it’s a mechanism. It’s called normalcy bias, right? It is not you. Normalcy bias is like, oh, come on, this isn’t really happening. Bias is not your friend in combat,
so you need to kill that instantly.
But yeah, there was a
bit of that in the beginning, like, wow, is this really happening?
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, sure enough.
Ben Sykes: was
just all the time.
Scott DeLuzio: Sure. And then unfortunately that becomes normal when, when it’s happening all the time and it’s like, oh, now I know how to react, at least. But it
like that just becomes your new normal. Right.
Ben Sykes: Anyway, we made it up to Baghdad and then we got to, I mean these are just sort of the big highlights ’cause there was a lot of stuff in between. But somehow I remember we’re, we’re going through a field, we’re on foot, we’re going through a field, and then we come out into this road and I just see these UN vehicles and I have all these [00:19:00] photos too. ’cause we had these in my LBVI had a couple of, a bunch of guys that we had disposable cameras ’cause it was kind of pre-digital age. And all these, I’m like, what is the UN doing here? And it was basically the un compound had been rated by the locals. So we go in and we affix bayonets. At one point we go in and clear and we’re like, where’s the, and there’s this fire coming up.
Our snipers, were on the roof of the UN building. So we funnel into the UN building and I’m with my gun team sergeant Ruiz and myself. And so we’re Ruiz. It takes the M two 40 golf to the roof, and then we basically go in to the UN building, which had since been vacated, but it was the only place where there was alcohol. So we go in and and all the, it was like something out of a movie. All the fridges, you open ’em up, they were all moldy. And we’re going in, I’m going in with sergeant and we are clearing all the rooms. So we’re kicking in rooms and clearing, kicking in rooms and clearing. We get to the very top and I think. I, [00:20:00] I, I’m pretty certain I was sitting, I guess, Konan’s desk. I was sitting there putting my feet up at one point. I thought, wow, okay. just a surreal day. We secured the UN building until we were relieved and they set up and put comms there. Now Al since blown up that UN building. It doesn’t exist anymore. So we’re there for a period of time and then LER comes back from the north, of with their tail between their legs. I mean, maybe not, but they’re like. Hey, we we’re heading to Decree to I’S hometown we need we need trigger pullers. So that’s the task force tar, which is what we were attached to. then we headed up through headed, headed north to Decree. Now, one thing was weird is like, they’re, they’re, you know, they say that the, the, the Fertile Crescent in Iraq is like the, the. Of civilization. I don’t know if that’s true and I’m, I’m probably misstating, but, there was a point where we felt like you’re in Hawaii because there are palm trees and it was just like this, this like [00:21:00] microclimate that showed up out of nowhere, which was weird. Anyway, we get to the top, we, we get to decree and then there’s this palace complex, which is like, kind of like Las Vegas sort of situation and no, and it had been hit by,
I dunno, I’d be hit by by missiles or whatnot. I’m
not exactly sure, but
Scott DeLuzio: So we get.
Ben Sykes: garage before the entrance and I’ve got photos of this and I’ve got Matkin over here.
He is got a SMA on his shoulder and he is like, I don’t know, maybe five feet away. Launches a small right through the front door of the palace. And then we funnel into the palace. It’s the first toilet I remember. I’ll never, I have a photo of the toilet. It, it was the first toilet we’ve seen in like forever. We secured Saddam’s Palace and we were there for a couple of weeks until the Army relieved us, but we’re still doing raids, we’re still taking fire, the whole thing. And the place was just amazing. And there was a elevator in the center of the palace. We’re like, let’s just put a shape, [00:22:00] charge in the elevator, go down because we know this thing is, it’s like manmade sort of canal.
We know that there’s stuff down there. We want to go check it out. We were never allowed to do it. Army comes in, relieves us. We find out later, after we’re headed, we headed South turns on the power. They take the elevator down. There’s D Ns, gold bullion, blocks of
dollar bills. I mean, all this stuff. I mean, look, bootcamp
never ends in the grunts.
It doesn’t. So
Scott DeLuzio: Everything.
Ben Sykes: regimented. I mean, you are, it just, there is
no, is no opportunity for not
performing at your.
Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
Ben Sykes: none of that shit flies and everybody knows about it and it’s not allowed. And so we were, we, we did keep our honor clean a hundred percent, but it still was kind of, we could have been a great photo op for all of us, but yeah, it was just so, we were kinda like we were
on top of all of that and we didn’t, we couldn’t go down the elevator
shaft anyway.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, I, I mean, I could only imagine,
The look on those guys’ [00:23:00] faces when, when they, they go down, they flip, flip the lights on, and it’s like,
like the, the, the lights are shining off of like the gold and it’s like, oh my God, I can’t even see it so bright in here. You know? Like, I could only imagine like the, the, just the reaction of, of all those guys.
But that’s, that’s.
Ben Sykes: the whole, the whole compound was just so amazing. And
yeah,
when we found out about it, we were, we were pissed. We’re like, what?
But, you know, so, so be it.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Ben Sykes: I’ve got some great photos from the palace, and of course that was sort of like a. had all the 40 ones, all, which was all the art, artillery, and all of us, once we secured it, the press showed up.
And so we, I guess our unit was on the cover of the LA Times and,
yeah, we got a lot of good press out of the deal. But
One thing I
Scott DeLuzio: Wanna say.
Ben Sykes: is really important here, and this is really important for, for everyone to know in the very beginning, Mo going from town to town. The locals were gracious.
They were lovely. They were absolutely just really spectacular. They would show up. It was exciting for them ’cause the [00:24:00] Americans are here and there were parades in a way. It was really, really nice. And I don’t know if people know that that’s what happened because it was an every new village or town. We got the same response. And then of course you’d see in the back, know, fancy watch shiny shoes. Mad Dog and you’re like, oh, bath party, bath party, bath party, bath party. But you know, look are the same everywhere. They just wanna raise the family and
have a business and be left alone. And that was definitely
true for the Iraqis.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, that’s what I’ve heard from a lot of people who’ve deployed is that, that the locals in Iraq or Afghanistan either place and, and other, you know, places too. A lot of times the locals are. Are super supportive and they, they’re glad that you’re there because they’re, there’s a, a glimmer of hope for them that maybe things could get better for them.
Maybe, maybe the Americans will come in and do something and, and make life a little bit better. You know, whether or not that came to fruition. [00:25:00] You know, that’s, that’s up to for debate, I suppose. But you know, but it at least, you know, gave him some hope, you know, for, for a period of time and maybe, maybe for a period of time it was better.
You know, and, and you know, I know Afghanistan kind of has slipped back to the way things used to be, but you know, at, at least for. 20 years or so, maybe there was a little bit of you know, life that was better there. But, you know, I, I, I haven’t been to Iraq, so I don’t know, you know, specifically there, but I, I can only speak to, you know, my experiences.
But so, so this deployment was obviously very kinetic. A lot of you know, firefights, all those types of things happening, you know, seemingly on a, on a daily basis. Eyes are being opened to a whole new way of, of life basically with, with the way things are going there. What was the, what was it like coming back home for you guys?
What, what was it like for you, you know, was it readjustment getting back into, you know, the swing of things in the, the civilian side of things, or, you know, how, how was it for you?
Ben Sykes: Yeah, I would do,
Deployment over and over again rather than have to go
through the [00:26:00] readjustment.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Ben Sykes: part of the entire deal. I mean, so after Tore, we went down to Deia where we were out and we were under General Madison. General Madison was paid pretty much. ROE was whatever you want. I mean, that’s not entirely correct, but eh, not far from it. So we’re in DE at a ammo depot, which was basically at Costco for IEDs We didn’t even realize at the time, to finally get to finally get orders to go, to go back to to Kuwait. getting home camp, camp couch all excited. Looking forward to it. Right? And then of course, going through
supply just to wrap it up so you can finally go see your
loved ones, like took
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Ben Sykes: but we’re just thrilled. And then of course, obviously on the flight home, huh? It’s gotta be the worst turbulence of any plane I’ve ever been on in my life. So you’re like, great, it’s, we’re gonna go down with a plane. We survived the war
barely, and we’re gonna go down on a plane. Okay, great.
Scott DeLuzio: Right.
Ben Sykes: finally get home and yeah, [00:27:00] there’s a, there’s a there’s a honeymoon period where you’re like. by anything and everything. Like you are alive. You didn’t think it was gonna happen. There were lots of times you probably shouldn’t be alive. You’re like, okay, we got our guys back. You’re like, all right. So yeah, it was, it was good. And then there’s no sleeping with your wife or your girlfriend.
Like that isn’t happening.
Guys are sleeping on the floor. Guys aren’t sleeping at all.
Scott DeLuzio: Right.
Ben Sykes: And then. We’re
like, well, let’s get together. ’cause this was at, we were, I was living in Ven. I ven my,
I go back home to my roommate and it was like, I’m home
Scott DeLuzio: Okay.
Ben Sykes: So, you know. Huh? I’m, it’s in Venice Beach, so I’m living in Venice. Everybody else is in, la. We’re like, let’s get together, let’s go. Like, hit the town, whatever. Like we survived. We got a lot to celebrate it. The moment, this is a weird phenomenon. This is a really weird phenomenon that I don’t know if people talk about guys would show up at somebody’s house. [00:28:00] We all dressed up, we’re like, we’re gonna go, you know, everyone passes out. It’s the weirdest thing because we can’t sleep on our own with our loved ones or family or whatnot. So the minute we got together, even just a few of us, we’re about to go out. It’s like 6 30, 7, 8, whatever, about to go out. We’re about to, and everyone is just out cold. So we had this thing like, okay guys, we can’t sleep this time.
We can’t sleep. We gotta like fight through it. We gotta sleep ’cause we want to go out and have a good time. So that was a weird phenomenon, but right around month five or six of being home is when it got really bad because what people don’t tell you you find out, I, I’m just, I’m just gonna be honest, like, Dr.
Like war is a drug.
It is the greatest drug of my
life. It was just,
it’s just, you know.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah,
Ben Sykes: is nothing like it.
Scott DeLuzio: adrenaline is addicting. Yeah.
Ben Sykes: Oh my God. [00:29:00] And so you’re looking for, you start to go through withdrawal like chemical. I learned this at the VA and I was true or not, you go through chemical withdrawals because the greatest pharmacy in the world is the one between your two ears. So I’m going through withdrawals and I’m like, I started drinking aval and we’re all
doing dangerous stuff because you’re looking for that fix. That you don’t have anymore. And that was an adjustment. I mean, the good news is nowadays, unlike Vietnam, all the guys, you come, you go as a group, you come back as a group. Before you, you would be in the middle of a firefight and you get called and you’d be
in a bar in New Jersey like two days later.
Scott DeLuzio: Right.
Ben Sykes: that is horrific. I don’t know if that’s true. It’s what I’ve been told. That’s a horrific way to go and to readjust. So we readjust together,
but we are all really like. We were
all like off. I
Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
Ben Sykes: in the dark sharp
in my K bar. My mom’s like, you gotta go see somebody. I’m like, whatcha talking
about?
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, I, and
again, everybody’s experience is gonna be a little bit [00:30:00] different. You know, some people handle things a little bit better than other people. And, and some people like you were saying, they get addicted to that, that adrenaline, that, that, that rush of,
That, that whatever happens when you’re, you’re getting shot at or getting blown up or whatever, there, there’s something going on between, between your ears that, that is definitely producing some chemicals and you kind of get addicted to it.
And that’s, that’s why a lot of times we, we start to see people, you know, come back home and they’re engaged in a lot of risky activities, whether it’s, you know, drugs or alcohol or, or. You know, other, other risky things you know, high adrenaline, you know, sports or, or things like that. You know, driving too fast or, you know, do, doing all these things that just kind of.
Get the blood pumping, get, get that a little bit more adrenaline going. But it was interesting how you’re saying how, you know, you guys really weren’t, nobody was really sleeping that all that well. But once when you guys are around each other, it’s like you finally have that, that security blanket that, that you can you know, wrap around you if you know, Hey, my, my guys got my back.
I know they got my back back because we just came back from. [00:31:00] Terrible place and they had my back there, they’ll have my back here too. So,
Like it, it actually makes sense. It, it sucks that that’s the case, but it does make sense. Right. What about getting back into work? I know you were in the reserves so you, you kind of got back into to work at, at some point, I’d imagine.
What was that like and, and how was it like getting back to working with civilians versus other military?
Ben Sykes: Yeah, so I went back to my computer job. You know, the Soldier Sailor Act. They have to keep it. Everyone was thrilled to see me and you know, they sent a care package, which was really sweet. You know, by the way, if you’re gonna sell Extended care package. If you just send Sriracha, it’s a win. Like it’s a win.
It makes every MRA amazing, FYIs. So, so, I get back and they, they throw a thing for me, which is, which was really nice. And yeah, it’s funny because people are like,
you’re, you are different. We, you come home different. You don’t even know how you,
how you’re, what you perceived, you know? But
Scott DeLuzio: Right.
Ben Sykes: I was, I was, you know, like you. [00:32:00] You’re just not,
so, yeah, I came home and
People were like
holy crap. Who are
you?
Scott DeLuzio: Hmm. And that, that’s a, a tough thing to come back to because as far as they, they’re concerned, they’re still the same people. Not really too much probably has changed for them. You know, they, they wake up and go to work every day like everybody else, just like it’s any other day. You know, unless some real traumatic thing happened, you know, a loved one passed away or they got into it.
Terrible accident or you know, something like that. Not a ton’s changing really in their life. Probably in, in a lot of cases. But then you go through, you and, you know, other people who’ve been deployed, go through a deployment, all the, the traumatic and you know, stuff that goes along with a deployment.
And yeah, of course you’re gonna be changed. Of course you’re gonna be different. You had to be different because think about that very first time when, when boats were flying and, and you’re like, wait, is this real? Is this, you know, is this actually happening? [00:33:00] That, that was kinda like civilian version of you being put into that scenario.
Then by, by the very last firefight that you were in I’d imagine your reaction was a whole lot different than, than the very first time. So of course you changed, right?
Ben Sykes: Yeah, yeah, absolutely are different. I mean, we’re, look, I mean, I
no one’s, this is not politically correct and I don’t care.
Our job is to hunt and kill human beings.
Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
Ben Sykes: That’s the deal. That’s the gig, that’s what we do. That’s what we’re supposed to do, and we’re fucking good at it. We just are. And, and it’s also to do it honorably, and it’s, and we
have to do it so that we, we protect, you know, women and
children, and we did a great job of that as well.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Ben Sykes: but yeah, you come, I mean, there are so many memories that you’re just not even suitable for, for, for, for, for podcasting. But you know, where you’re, you know, you’re having to, you know, it doesn’t matter how old they are, they are potential threat and you have to hold them at bay and you’re like, God, this is it.
And you [00:34:00] know, at the time you’re not thinking in terms of politics. You’re not thinking, you’re thinking in terms of strategy and making sure the guy on the left and the right are taking care of. That is what your focus are and making your, you, you eliminate the threat. But when you come home, like all that stuff sort of like sort of bubbles up and you’re like, oh my God, at the time you’re like completely focused on mission.
It’s all mission priority and that’s it. And you’re not emotionally involved in any of it. But yeah, when you come home, it all comes flooding back and you’re like, oh my god. And some of the stuff you just forget because you know, you’re either moving
too fast or you’re like. I got, my brain does
not have time to process shit like that, so,
Scott DeLuzio: Right, right. Yeah. And then, then at some point it does come back you know, a lot of times where, where maybe you didn’t process it at the time because I don’t know, other stuff was happening and you, you just didn’t have the time or the mental energy to be able to process it. And then, you know, six months after coming home, it’s like.
Oh my God, I can’t believe I, I remember this now. I did [00:35:00] that thing. What do I do with this now? You know, how do, how do I, how do I handle these, these memories and, and all that kinda stuff. So I, I, I would imagine and your experience was probably, you know, similar to mine. You kind of just didn’t feel like you fit in with the, the folks that you were working with anymore.
Right. I would imagine.
Ben Sykes: Well, so I had a computer job, so I’m a, I’m a UX designer. I’ve been doing it since, I guess the mid nineties now. But so I’m sitting down at my end web development. So sitting at my desk, I’m like. I can’t sit still. I can’t sit still. I can’t sit still. And who the hell is behind me? And I’m just like, oh, okay, okay,
okay. All right. All right. We’re gonna try, you know? And it’s just, life is
just never gonna be the same
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Ben Sykes: mean, eventually now it is, but. So going to, let’s go out to have pizza. Let’s, hey, let’s go to have pizza. That sounds like a great idea. No, no, no. It’s not. It’s not pizza anymore. It is. Where’s our entrances?
Where is our exits? Who’s the potential threat It’s looking [00:36:00] for, scanning for, you know, the hyper vigilance doesn’t shut off like ever, ever. It’s just there constantly like a, like a, like a VCR, the 12 that just keeps blinking nonstop. And so you’re dealing with this all the time. And so eventually they, they let me go at my job, which was kind of a gift in a way, for, you know, any reason that they was just downsizing.
And then eventually, I, I didn’t have a place to stay, I’m, and I’m drinking and I and so I end up sleeping on the beach. So I’m homeless guy on Venice Beach, like, Hey, I became
the, I became the the movie
version of, of a returning vet.
Scott DeLuzio: Right.
Ben Sykes: I got sober and I, a guy helped me and, and put like, started living on his couch and slowly but surely I started going to the va and Leslie Martin was the head of the west La va.
She’s since passed, but she was pretty amazing. And I just started sharing. And in those days they weren’t doing immersive therapy or cognitive behavioral therapy. They were [00:37:00] doing, group therapy, which I don’t think was really helpful. So it was only later on after the VA started to modify their PTSD treatment stuff that it really started to help me quite a bit.
But yeah, yeah, I it was difficult and I ended, I moved to, I moved to Washington or Seattle to work at Microsoft and, know, got a new apartment, but it’s a new area. I don’t know the city well, and
so I’m not going out at all. So if you’re not careful, you
become a agoraphobic. Well, you never leave the house. So it just, it was rough for a long, long, long time. And it got better. It did get better, but, you know, I had to talk about it. I don’t wanna talk about this shit. And, you know, meeting with other vets, how things come up that you forget about, and. So any, any organization that’s, there’s an organization I think that’s that’s in Texas.
I haven’t I think they’re, they’re San Antonio based, I’m not sure. But they get together and as a, as they, they do
humps all the time. Like that thing that, if that was
around when I got home, I
would’ve, would’ve been great.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. [00:38:00] Yeah. And I, I think that’s the reason why those, those organizations exist is because, you know, obviously they didn’t exist back then and people found that, that that type of comradery is helpful and getting folks together who have. Common backgrounds common interests, common you know, just military history.
You know, it may not be I deployed at the same time as you in the same location or, or whatever, but you know, even people who deployed to completely different areas at completely different times. I mean, we could probably find some common ground of stuff that. You know, we, we can still talk about, we can joke about and, and sometimes that just makes it a little bit easier knowing that you’re not the only one who has experienced this thing.
And, and, and it, it’s just helpful to be around those people. And, you know, like you said, you know, doing some sort of physical activity as well, that, that helps as well. I mean, that, that gets the blood pumping, it gets, gets things moving and you know, gets you out of the house, gets you, gets you off the [00:39:00] couch gets you moving and, it’s just a win-win all around. It helps you mentally, helps you physically and, and just kind of builds that, that comradery. It’s not just helping that one person, it’s helping that whole group of people by getting together like that. Right,
Ben Sykes: It is true. And you can
tell jokes without coming off as a monster.
Scott DeLuzio: right.
Ben Sykes: home and they’re like, tell me what it was like, you know?
And the one question they all ask, did you kill anybody? And like, you
never ever want to be, you never want to
ask
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Ben Sykes: a civilian listening to this, you never want to ask that.
Like, that’s not, you know,
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Ben Sykes: So you get that. You get that. And so you’re like, well, I’m not, you know, you’re like okay, we’re not talking about that. But then you’re like, oh yeah, there was this one guy, like, you know, so and so, and he, he was a hodge that was working on, on the base, and oh, what was he like?
What was he, oh, he got, who was he? You know, we, he, he was in Sturge and we had killed him. But anyway, and then you look back at their faces
and they’re white and their jaws on the ground, and
they’re looking at you and just what they heard and you’re like. [00:40:00] Oh, oh, oh, oh, You
oh, yeah. You guys are, yeah. Your
lens
totally different from mine.
Now I, I’m gonna stop talking now.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Right, right. Before, you know, especially like in a work environment, like before HR gets called into the situation. Right.
Ben Sykes: God.
Scott DeLuzio: but I,
that, that particular question, you know, did you, did you kill anybody? You know, that, that civilians sometimes ask to, to folks who’ve been deployed. I look at that question as a type of question that no matter the answer, no matter the answer that the the veteran gives it, the answer will change your opinion of that person.
Ben Sykes: Oh.
Scott DeLuzio: and the reason why I say that is say, let’s say someone asked you and, and you didn’t kill anybody. No, no, no shots were fired. You didn’t, you didn’t even. Have to clean your gun because it was, you know, spotless the whole time. You never had to shoot, shoot anybody, which, you know, that would be wonderful if you never had to do anything like that.
But someone’s gonna look at you and be like, oh, well you were probably just [00:41:00] sitting on base all, all day and didn’t really do anything. You didn’t really do your job, but you didn’t, you didn’t do anything dangerous or tough or anything like that. So, well that deployment doesn’t really count, is kind of the mindset that probably some people might have with that.
Or you’ll get the reaction that you were just describing where you’re describing, yeah, I did kill somebody and this is what happened, and blah, blah, blah. And then they’re looking at you like, oh my God, this guy’s a monster. You know? So regardless, one way or the other, the opinion is shifting and that that’s like enough for me right there to be like, look, either you like me or you don’t like me as a person, I don’t want to have to, you know.
Change your opinion because e either way it’s gonna, it’s gonna change it, it may not be for the better. So, you know, I’m, I’m just not gonna answer that question, you know? Yeah,
Ben Sykes: really, and I get it, like I get it. Like if you’re an
armchair sort of observer
Scott DeLuzio: yeah.
Ben Sykes: it on TV and you see it and. you wa you’re a big horror fan, and you see it, you know, it’s totally different from when you’re
on a [00:42:00] battlefield and you’re stepping over crispy critters, which are
human beings that have basically burned alive,
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Ben Sykes: and the smell of that. And then the fact that battlefields, because the thing they don’t show in the movies is when people get, when people die, they, their bowels evacuate. They don’t cover that on. So, you know, and the, the, how loud, it’s so loud and like, you can’t tell people that stuff. You can’t give them the details
because like if they saw it in per upfront, they
they would, they would go into a catatonic shock,
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Ben Sykes: And it was kind of a wake up call for me. I mean, obviously this is long time ago, but I was like, yeah, we’re not talking about it. We’re not gonna say anything because anything we say
they, they’re not gonna have a
point of reference to even comprehend it.
Scott DeLuzio: Right, right. And, and even,
even from a, like a movie perspective, like, saving Private Ryan or something like that, where yes, you’re seeing.
Someone getting shot, you’re seeing death, you’re [00:43:00] seeing these, these types of things. But it’s, it’s still Hollywood. It’s still, it’s not real life. You know, that, that actor, as soon as that scene was over, he got up and he dusted himself off and, and he was fine.
It’s not like he actually had a bullet going through him. You know? It, it’s, it’s totally different. So, you know, even if. People think that they can relate to it through Oh, yeah. Well, it’s kinda like what I saw in the movies. Well, not really, you know, it’s, it’s, it’s different when you, because there’s no I mean, the, the only senses that you’re really experiencing during the movie is sight and sound.
And you’re not getting the smells or the taste of, you know,
Ben Sykes: Metal.
Scott DeLuzio: the,
Ben Sykes: the
Scott DeLuzio: the, the air, you know, what, whatever’s in the air and,
Yeah, all that, that kind of stuff. It’s like
you, you’re not getting the full experience through that and be, be thankful that you’re not, I suppose is, is kind of the, the takeaway from that right?
Is you, you don’t want to experience that kind of stuff. Thank, thank God you don’t have to. And you know, thank thankfully people like, like you and other, other folks [00:44:00] who’ve deployed, went and did that stuff so that other people didn’t have to. So that, you know, we didn’t have more death and destruction on American streets you know, in American cities getting, you know, planes flown into buildings or you know, bombs going off or, or any of those other things.
You know, that’s the way I I look at it is you know, we, we went over there. Whether you’re, you’re for the war or against the war. During that time period, we kept those people over there and not coming over here. We didn’t have any more planes dropping out of the sky. So, you know, in that, that case, I, I look at it as, you know, mission accomplished.
But you know, thankfully there were people who, who were able to do that so that other people didn’t have to, and, and could live in blissful ignorance of, of everything that was taking place. Right.
Ben Sykes: It’s true. And
even if you weren’t a combatant over there, like
just seeing the horrors of
war up close,
Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
Ben Sykes: trip,
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, yeah,
yeah. ’cause it’s, I mean,
it, it’s not, a
war is not a, on a traditional battlefield, like the way you might [00:45:00] think of like the American Revolution or the
Ben Sykes: right?
Scott DeLuzio: Civil War or something like that, where it’s just like a big open field with a bunch of soldiers who lined up and, and start shooting at each other.
It, it, it’s in cities where people live, civilians,
Ben Sykes: That’s
Scott DeLuzio: children, you know, elderly people, like they’re everything in between. And, you know, the enemy combatants that we had to face. They weren’t wearing uniforms. Like, you know, other wars would, would, would would have, so you didn’t always know who the bad, bad guy was.
It could just be another guy walking around wearing the same clothes as anybody else, and then all of a sudden, oops. He has a bomb strap to him. And you know, it’s, it was just such a drastically different landscape than, than so many other wars that, that our country has fought that you know, we, we had to adapt and it, it was it was a rough.
Rough you know, you know, thing to have to go through.
Ben Sykes: It was interesting ’cause we were there in the, for the invasion in the beginning and you know, we Saddam had his, had his army I think a million man [00:46:00] army or something. Maybe that’s wrong.
So of course all the bunkers were loaded with,
Uniforms.
Scott DeLuzio: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Going through the experiences that you went through, through, you know, your, your, your time in the military, your your, your deployment. And even, you know, before you, you know, you were, you were an adult, you had a, you know, adult job. You, you did, you know, all that stuff before the military.
So you had that kind of adult perspective, adult civilian perspective. And then, then you join the military, then you get out and, and you’re, you’re back into the civilian world. So you, you have a lot of that perspective that would probably be very helpful for, for folks who are coming outta the military, that, that transition period.
If you could sit down with a, like a, a young, young veteran who’s transitioning out of the military, what do you think you would want them to understand about kind of, that, that whole transition period plus, you know, what’s next? What is, what does that next career path look like for you?
Ben Sykes: [00:47:00] Yeah, so that’s a, that’s a great question. So you, so you’re out you’re, you, you’ve just gotten out.
There’s a, you gotta give yourself a little grace
’cause there is an adjustment period, whether you like it or not.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Ben Sykes: But you need to get busy too. you stay at home and you just walk, play, call of Duty and turn the, you know, close all the blinds, not gonna make any growth.
So you need to actively get off your ass, get into the
gym and find another veteran group and, and
actively participate
Scott DeLuzio: Sure like
Ben Sykes: is the path forward. If you do not and you start drinking and you start taking edibles or whatnot, and you’re
sitting at home and you’re watching TV and you’re watching war
movies and then crying or
Scott DeLuzio: that.
Ben Sykes: else you’re gonna do, picking up a loaded 45 seems like a pretty good idea, and we do not want that.
So you need to get active be a participant in your life. And [00:48:00] you say, well, why, why, why? Why do I have to do that? You have to do it for all the guy, all the men and women.
So you have to do it in honor of them.
Scott DeLuzio: That’s, that’s true. I mean, if, if.
If you’re struggling to find a, like that motivation, that is, I, I couldn’t have said it better. I think that’s the, the best motivation right there. I mean, I remember years ago I was doing, I was doing some like half marathons and like, kind of like running and, and all that kinda stuff.
And when I, I like the very first. Long run that I, I did after getting outta the military and I kind of let myself get outta shape and everything, and so it took me some time to kind of work back up to, you know, where, where I was. But I remember the very first time I’m, I’m out there, I’m running and my legs are burning, my lungs are, feel like they’re on fire.
Like everything is just hurting and it’s sucking. And
I was like, I don’t know if I can keep going. But then I, that’s, that thought that you just said is, is what kept me going. And [00:49:00] let me finish the, the route that I had, I, I was running it, it was that, Hey, I get to do this. There’s other people out there who cannot do this for, you know, they didn’t make it home.
They, they’re not lucky enough to be able to do this. They’re not lucky enough to be able to. Suffer and suck the way I’m doing right now,
Ben Sykes: right.
Scott DeLuzio: you know? And it’s kind of, you know, a, a funny way to to think of it, but it’s, it’s true. You know, we, we have that ability. We have the you know, the, the ability to wake up in the morning and make a decision to stay inside and play Call of Duty, or not even get outta bed.
Maybe, you know, you could make that decision, but.
What, what good is that? What, what good would that sacrifice from, you know, those, those folks who didn’t make it back home? What good would that sacrifice have, have been for, you know, it, it was, is that all for, for nothing? You’re just kind of throwing it all away?
Or can you get up and do something useful and meaningful [00:50:00] and you know, do something with, with whatever you have left of your life you know, make the most of it. And, and trust me, I know it’s hard. To get yourself in that mindset. It’s hard for me sometimes too. I, I, I struggle with that from, from, you know, time to time as well, but it’s.
It’s the thing that you kind of have to keep reminding yourself and then, you know, eventually the more you do this type of stuff, the, the easier it gets. I’m not ever saying it’s gonna be easy and it’s just gonna be second nature a hundred percent of the time, but it gets easier as, as you keep doing it.
But if you,
whatever it is that you do, if, if you just stay on the couch and you, or don’t get outta bed or, you know, don’t go to work or you don’t do any of the, the things that you’re supposed to do as a responsible adult, well, that’s gonna get easier. It’s gonna get easier to just stay inside and play Call of Duty, you know?
But that’s not gonna really move the needle on your life. Right? Like, looking back on, on your, your deathbed when you’re, you know, 85, 90 years old or something like that, you’re like, man, I’m really glad I got to play [00:51:00] more Call of Duty, you know, when I was, you know, whatever age like that. That’s not really, that’s not what, what it’s all about.
And so, you know, kind of put things into perspective, I suppose is, is the way to put it, right.
Ben Sykes: Lead your live your best life
in honor of those who no longer can.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Ben Sykes: is the quote and it will require some serious. Self-discipline, you’re gonna have to dig deep, but you have to start being of service. You’ve gotta start helping other people When I’m and, and when I’m being of service to somebody else, whether I’m helping them with the, the
lawn, the yard or resume, whatever
it is, I’m out of me
for a moment and I have some
relief in that.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
Yeah, that’s a good way to put it. Yeah.
‘Cause
a lot of times, especially with when you’re, you know, just isolating yourself, you’re, you’re in your own head. You got nobody else to nobody else’s head to get into, really. You’re, you’re, you’re stuck in your own. And,
You know, sometimes like, I don’t wanna be there.
Like I know what goes on inside of there. I don’t want to be in there. So, so yeah, if you could be helping [00:52:00] somebody else and doing, serving somebody else and, and helping them out, in, in a, in a way that helps you as well, and not in a selfish way. It, it’s, you know, you’re, you both can benefit. It’s not like, you know, you’re, you’re only gonna do something just because it’s gonna help you eventually.
Like yeah, you can help somebody else out and, and they can benefit too. So there’s nothing wrong with any of that. So I, I think, you know, there’s all really great advice and I, I know, you know, your experiences are. I I’m sure there’s some folks out there listening right now that are like, yep, I, I know exactly what he went through.
I, I went through the same damn thing. And it’s, it sucks. Some people might still be going through it because, you know, some people haven’t figured it out yet and, and figured out how to you know, make that transition and get out of their own way. But I think knowing that there are people out there who’ve.
Live that same experience, you know, like yourself and, and you know, countless other people. They’ve lived that experience and have come out on the other side. Okay. You know, not, you’re not a [00:53:00] hundred percent the same person that you were before, never will be. And that’s, that’s fine. That’s expected. I think with any experiences that any of us have ever in life, of course we’re gonna.
It’s gonna change us, you know, you know, for the better or for the worse. I mean, thing, things can, can happen and, and change us in, in all sorts of different ways. It, this is just one more of those changes and, you know, again, it’s not, it’s not a, a good thing. It’s not a bad thing. It’s just a thing that happens.
That’s part of being human. We, we change, we have, we, we adapt, we and we overcome. Until we just give up and we stop doing it. And that, that’s not a great way to be either. So, so this has been a great conversation. I know we’re getting kind of a little long on, on time here, but, i, I do want to thank you for, for coming on the show, sharing your experiences, because I know it’s, it’s not the easiest thing to, to bring up some of those, those memories and start, start talking about some of those things.
And so, I, I, I really do appreciate you, you coming on and sharing and, and, and talking about those experiences. But more importantly, [00:54:00] the the advice that you gave you know, talking about that, that. That young veteran just transitioning outta the military you know, getting active, getting involved in community, doing, doing something, not just sitting inside, playing Call of Duty or, you know, whatever, whatever it is that they, they might be doing.
I, I think that, that, that’s really important. I think that’s a message that a lot of people need to hear, and maybe they’re not told that message often enough to really let that sink in. So I, I really hope that this message will sink in with some folks who might be listening to this episode. You know, even, even if we help one person, I think, I think this conversation is definitely worth it. But but I, I’m sure there’s gonna be a lot more people out there who, who hear this and, and hopefully that’s just that, that one more thing to, to help kick them kick them in the pants and get them off the couch and, and get, get them out there and, and living life instead of just letting life pass ’em by.
So,
You know, thank you again, Ben, for, for taking the time to come on sharing your story and everything.
Ben Sykes: Absolutely sure.
Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, absolutely. So,
Yeah, thanks again. And and you know, for the listeners you know, [00:55:00] check out, check out this this episode, you know, and, and subscribe to the podcast, I should say wherever you listen to podcasts YouTube, all those things where we’re all over the place.
So, so check out that and and definitely remember to subscribe. But Ben, thank you again.
Ben Sykes: Appreciate it. Thank you.