Episode 547 Daniel Contreras The Hidden Heroes Beside Our Veterans Transcript
This transcript is from episode 547 with guest Daniel Contreras.
[00:00:00] Scott DeLuzio: There are moments when life just shifts without warning. One day everything seems normal. The next year, standing in a hospital room realizing that you’ve become the caregiver to a loved one, no one or nothing really can prepare you for that. You’ll end up probably having sleepless nights, constantly worrying, or are things that I’m doing the right thing are, are things going wrong?
[00:00:27] You end up putting your needs on the back burner because someone that you love needs you more. But what happens when you run outta gas yourself? That’s where people like our guest today. Dan Contreras comes in after years of serving others through his time in the military. And, uh, his work with, uh, DAV.
[00:00:47] He found himself on the other side caring for his wife through cancer, while helping build Davs caregiver support pro program from the ground up. His story is one of love, [00:01:00] endurance, and rediscovering purpose through service even when life feels overwhelming. Before we get into this story, though, uh, I do wanna take a moment to raise awareness for something else that’s deeply important to our community.
[00:01:13] The Global War on Terrorism Memorial Foundation. This organization is working to build a permanent national memorial in Washington DC to honor the service members of families and civilians who are impacted by the global war on terrorism. This memorial will serve as both a tribute to those who served and as a way to ensure that their sacrifices are recognized and remembered for generations to come.
[00:01:35] If you’d like to learn more or find out how you can support their mission, visit GWOT memorial foundation.org. Now, let’s get into today’s episode. .
[00:01:44]
[00:01:57] Scott DeLuzio: Hey, Dan, welcome to the show. I’m [00:02:00] really glad to have you here and I’m looking forward to talking about what DAV has going on and, and, and everything that you guys are doing over there. But you know, first off, welcome to the show.
[00:02:09] Dan Contreras: Well, thank you
[00:02:10] Scott DeLuzio: Thank.
[00:02:10] Dan Contreras: And I mean, DAV has so much that’s going on and I like the focus today that, that we’re going to center on the caregiving aspect of it. It’s our. Probably one of our latest and greatest programs that we just kicked off as far as couple years ago. And then we dedicated a, an entire department to it now, and, and so it continues to expand.
[00:02:33] And I I’m, I’m so
[00:02:35] grateful to you the show, the listeners, to give us an
[00:02:38] opportunity to talk about this program.
[00:02:40] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, no, absolutely. And I,
[00:02:42] as you mentioned, DAV does so many. Things I don’t think we could possibly cover all of them in any great detail in, in any one episode. There’s probably a month’s worth of episodes just to cover all the things that you guys do, but so like you said, we’re gonna be kind of sharing a little bit about the caregiver program and, and all the things that you guys do with that.
[00:02:59] But [00:03:00] this caregiver program kind of touches you a little bit more on a, on a personal level. Can you share a little bit about your, your personal journey and kind of what led you, to kind of become a, a care caregiver yourself and, and how this, this program would help someone like yourself.
[00:03:14] Dan Contreras: Well, the advent of our, our program, like I said, was two years ago,
[00:03:20] but my.
[00:03:21] caregiving role happened when
[00:03:24] Scott DeLuzio: When my.
[00:03:25] Dan Contreras: with, with cancer a little over five years ago. in that evolution process, of course, as. She was
[00:03:38] seeking further treatment
[00:03:41] and, and, and
[00:03:43] Scott DeLuzio: Having
[00:03:44] Dan Contreras: or
[00:03:44] radiation or surgical procedures,
[00:03:49] that role
[00:03:50] Scott DeLuzio: that started.
[00:03:51] Dan Contreras: and even expands even, even more so now with, with some. only things that are relatable [00:04:00] to the cancer, but also things that are residually related. Now I mean, you, you’ve got pain management, you have, you know, different
[00:04:09] types of, of, of, of, treatment as
[00:04:13] far as wound
[00:04:15] Scott DeLuzio: Wound care.
[00:04:16] Dan Contreras: things like that, that unfortunately, I mean, I have a nursing background, so I had a lot
[00:04:22] of experience, but not.
[00:04:24] Directly with my
[00:04:25] with
[00:04:26] my spouse. And so
[00:04:27] the,
[00:04:28] Scott DeLuzio: The
[00:04:29] Dan Contreras: the
[00:04:29] Scott DeLuzio: introduction of our our, program
[00:04:31] Dan Contreras: opened up on
[00:04:32] Scott DeLuzio: up.
[00:04:32] Dan Contreras: that DEV had advocated for caregivers for a long time and, and even legislative wise, you know, was one of our huge platform wins that, that we were able to, to
[00:04:46] get the Department of Veterans
[00:04:47] Affairs to recognize.
[00:04:49] Those hidden heroes, the
[00:04:50] Scott DeLuzio: The ones who are taking care of our veterans,
[00:04:52] Dan Contreras: and, and really
[00:04:55] putting aside their own pursuit, their [00:05:00] ambitions, their
[00:05:00] even
[00:05:01] Scott DeLuzio: even
[00:05:02] Dan Contreras: their
[00:05:02] recreational
[00:05:04] Scott DeLuzio: activities, things that,
[00:05:06] Dan Contreras: that
[00:05:06] we
[00:05:06] Scott DeLuzio: we take
[00:05:08] that, that,
[00:05:08] and
[00:05:09] Dan Contreras: our, our, our caregivers are,
[00:05:11] are having
[00:05:12] Scott DeLuzio: are, having
[00:05:12] to put that
[00:05:13] side or really doing without an education, doing the different things, so
[00:05:18] Dan Contreras: DAV was very
[00:05:19] Scott DeLuzio: very instrumental
[00:05:20] Dan Contreras: In, in, in, making sure that legislative wise we were able to do
[00:05:24] that. But then as
[00:05:26] Scott DeLuzio: as
[00:05:26] Dan Contreras: does, it’s like, wait a minute.
[00:05:28] You know what, what about veterans who are taking
[00:05:31] care of loved ones? You know,
[00:05:34] Scott DeLuzio: you know. Is there anything there for them?
[00:05:36] Dan Contreras: So our, our program evolved on the basis of, you know, VA does a lot
[00:05:43] we, we help veterans
[00:05:46] As far as loved ones, mitigate
[00:05:49] Scott DeLuzio: that.
[00:05:49] Dan Contreras: system. And, and that’s what we’re there for too. Our, our service programs and, and I mean dav caregivers.org that will go ahead and, [00:06:00] and be the conduit to, to other things because our care specialists will be there to help and, and information regarding resources and things like that.
[00:06:11] But getting back to. just as the national commander of the organization, which was just, you know, a, a trek for six years to get to that point to, to where I was then the primary
[00:06:26] spokesperson for the organization.
[00:06:27] But I was
[00:06:28] now
[00:06:29] talking about
[00:06:30] anecdotal
[00:06:31] stories
[00:06:31] Scott DeLuzio: About
[00:06:32] Dan Contreras: and different
[00:06:33] Scott DeLuzio: things
[00:06:33] Dan Contreras: of things that,
[00:06:34] Scott DeLuzio: that,
[00:06:35] that
[00:06:35] Dan Contreras: Our, our, our,
[00:06:36] new caregiver program could provide.
[00:06:39] And, and so, lo and behold, I’m at a briefing
[00:06:42] and at this briefing program was
[00:06:45] was one of the topics. And, and so,
[00:06:48] I was
[00:06:49] Scott DeLuzio: I was sitting there.
[00:06:49] Dan Contreras: with the, the director of service and, and I know him very well, and he knows me, he knows my world. He knows what’s going on with Theresa, and he says. Have you signed up? [00:07:00] And I was like, I have not. And he goes, why not? And I was like, I, you know what? It, it, it, I don’t really
[00:07:06] label myself as a caregiver and all these resources.
[00:07:11] He
[00:07:11] Scott DeLuzio: He
[00:07:12] Dan Contreras: put it
[00:07:13] Scott DeLuzio: put in a
[00:07:13] Dan Contreras: laptop.
[00:07:15] Our
[00:07:16] Scott DeLuzio: caregiver,
[00:07:17] Dan Contreras: caregiver
[00:07:18] Scott DeLuzio: support,
[00:07:19] Dan Contreras: And he
[00:07:20] Scott DeLuzio: he said,
[00:07:21] Dan Contreras: sign
[00:07:21] Scott DeLuzio: sign up man.
[00:07:22] Dan Contreras: and And,
[00:07:23] Scott DeLuzio: and
[00:07:24] so
[00:07:24] Dan Contreras: I
[00:07:25] was just like, all right,
[00:07:26] Scott DeLuzio: I was like, alright,
[00:07:26] Dan Contreras: what?
[00:07:26] Scott DeLuzio: here I am.
[00:07:27] Dan Contreras: professing this all
[00:07:29] Scott DeLuzio: All over
[00:07:29] the country
[00:07:30] Dan Contreras: I
[00:07:30] need to, to see
[00:07:31] what this is all about
[00:07:32] myself. I mean,
[00:07:33] Scott DeLuzio: I,
[00:07:34] Dan Contreras: I know
[00:07:34] Scott DeLuzio: know
[00:07:35] Dan Contreras: does
[00:07:35] Scott DeLuzio: does.
[00:07:36] Dan Contreras: I know that, that what we put ourselves into is, is, is always gonna be something that’s gonna be beneficial to, to our members, to, to those who are receiving our services. And so I, I decided I would go through that process and
[00:07:51] and To
[00:07:55] To really convey this to everybody.
[00:07:57] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
[00:07:58] Dan Contreras: know, I, when I was [00:08:00] taking this little survey, it didn’t take very long, maybe five, 10 minutes, but it asks you a battery of questions that you can’t escape the truth, you know? How does this affect you? How does this affect your loved one? Like, let’s even talk about memory, you know, what
[00:08:20] scope of memory.
[00:08:22] Loss is there
[00:08:23] with your, with your loved one. And,
[00:08:25] Scott DeLuzio: And, and so
[00:08:26] Dan Contreras: look at
[00:08:27] Scott DeLuzio: look at
[00:08:27] that, but then the end,
[00:08:29] Dan Contreras: it gives you like a
[00:08:30] Scott DeLuzio: like a
[00:08:31] high.
[00:08:31] Dan Contreras: of, of those specific areas in which are impacting you or impacting loved one. And so
[00:08:40] I was just, at first, you know,
[00:08:43] Scott DeLuzio: you know,
[00:08:43] Dan Contreras: it, was something that, it, it really. I, I knew, you know, I knew a lot of these things were going on and I knew that for the most part, they were pretty much self-inflicted.
[00:08:54] ’cause those are my choices. That’s what I, you know, I wanna do. And then the next thing you do [00:09:00] is go ahead and an appointment. So I figured, ah, a couple weeks, three weeks, who knows? The next morning, Scott, seven 30 in the morning, it was supposed to be for 30 minutes and. I had the most poignant, just compassionate conversation with someone that, you know, I’ve gotta be strong with Theresa.
[00:09:25] I’ve gotta go ahead and, and, and play that role of, of, of just strength. and so for me to express this to anybody, you know, in a way it did, and I’m not gonna lie, you know, it, it, it, it brought out. Puddles of tears because I was able to just finally really release and, then the person told me that they’re my scare care specialists from now on, we started talking about the things that, that [00:10:00] were within. program, the resources, the things that they could help me with on a mental health basis or, or even community engagement as far as resources from a morale standpoint. I mean, we talked about the things that we could collaborate and do together. Like with, with me and Theresa, you know, she was a
[00:10:21] eco adventure person. We hiked Machu Picchu and
[00:10:24] did the Amazon and just, I mean, all
[00:10:26] Scott DeLuzio: All kinds of different.
[00:10:28] Dan Contreras: But now, you know. We’re, we’re like, well, what can we find that we can combine and, and have fun to do? Well, listen, I make like Turkish lamps now and I paint and I just, you know, do Lego projects and different things like that.
[00:10:44] But,
[00:10:45] it, just, having that
[00:10:46] conversation with the care specialists
[00:10:48] is, is it, it was kind of
[00:10:51] Scott DeLuzio: Kind of that
[00:10:51] Dan Contreras: to, to that. And so, you know, and, and again, the. It’s a case by case basis. Each person is
[00:10:59] [00:11:00] individually unique in their ways and their
[00:11:02] needs and, and, and what’s going on. Because I
[00:11:05] Scott DeLuzio: Because even talked about like with our
[00:11:07] Dan Contreras: service program, you know, that might
[00:11:09] be something that’s stressing them out because they really
[00:11:12] don’t even understand their
[00:11:15] Scott DeLuzio: mm-hmm.
[00:11:15] Dan Contreras: I mean, California, 1.8 million
[00:11:17] veterans and less than
[00:11:20] Scott DeLuzio: 35%
[00:11:21] Dan Contreras: benefits, you know, so.
[00:11:24] Scott DeLuzio: outreach.
[00:11:24] Dan Contreras: is, such an important part of it. And we use this as a way to, to find other avenues, resources, things that, that they can do. But, but I mean, if it’s, if it’s something that, that like, is. Requires some work around the house and that that caregiver isn’t able to do that.
[00:11:42] Then we
[00:11:43] rally, you know, with our local Veterans Assistance program,
[00:11:47] maybe, ’cause that’s something that we can do,
[00:11:49] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
[00:11:50] Dan Contreras: find volunteers to, to go and
[00:11:53] alleviate some of those things.
[00:11:55] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, no, absolutely. And, and you know, one of the things that you, you mentioned that you, you did have [00:12:00] some medical background from your, your military time. You, you have some, some background with that and, and you know, so you, you. Are maybe a little bit better off than some other folks who are, are starting off from scratch.
[00:12:12] They have nothing and, and no medical background whatsoever other than, you know, knowing how to put a bandaid on or, you know, that type of thing. But you know, the, the, that’s, that’s, you know, the extent of, you know what, some people are coming into this caregiver role and, and sometimes that, that role is a, a night and day.
[00:12:28] You might go to go to bed one night and not. Be in that caregiver role and wake up the next morning and, and all of a sudden here you are all, you know, because of something that happened maybe overnight or, you know, it could happen just that quickly. and
[00:12:40] Dan Contreras: Yeah,
[00:12:41] Scott DeLuzio: it’s not like, oh, well I, I got years to prepare for that.
[00:12:43] You know, that that could be a tomorrow thing for, for some folks. And and you just don’t know. You don’t know what you don’t know. When it comes to things like what benefits are available, what are. Your responsibilities as a caregiver, what are you going to need to have to be able to [00:13:00] do? And, and you won’t know that until you’re in that situation because you don’t know what, what is that person that you’re providing care for?
[00:13:07] What are they capable of doing and, and what do they need some assistance with? Is it you know, is it a, a a, a full-time thing where you’re, you have to constantly be around the person ’cause they’re not mobile and they can’t do things for themselves or, or is it. I, I hate to use full-time, part-time, but is it more of a part-time kind of thing where it’s just, you know, checking in on ’em a couple times a day and just making sure that they, they’re able to get their meals and, and things like that.
[00:13:32] You know, it could be a, a wide range, right?
[00:13:36] Yeah.
[00:13:36] Dan Contreras: it can and, and recently. She had just a severe exacerbation of her pain. So much so I, I mean, I am medication managing and, and, you know, doing other things as well. But also, yeah, understanding that, that, that as a caregiver, certainly that’s my, my role, but the [00:14:00] resources to talk to somebody who can go ahead and align you with, like local facilities and things that, that can, can teach you those different things to, to have safety with medications and, and to have, you know, just the avenues
[00:14:16] for if you go into the
[00:14:18] higher levels of medication, maybe Narcan and how to use Narcan or different things like that. But I mean, it,
[00:14:25] it
[00:14:25] it comes to the point where, yeah, you have
[00:14:27] to, learn
[00:14:29] Scott DeLuzio: Learn things,
[00:14:29] Dan Contreras: think
[00:14:30] Scott DeLuzio: think that
[00:14:30] that’s an
[00:14:31] element that
[00:14:32] Dan Contreras: you, you talk
[00:14:33] Scott DeLuzio: talked about.
[00:14:34] Dan Contreras: that care specialist about these are the things that, that you’re uncomfortable
[00:14:38] with and, and maybe there’s some guidance, but
[00:14:41] also it, there’s reassurance that you’re not alone. Like you said, you know, I mean, a lot of individuals end up in this role and never expected that they were going to to, to have to evolve. I think I’ve evolved even more so even past what, you [00:15:00] know, my experience was in the military because in 2000 I left the military and, and really didn’t get, I mean, as, as a service officer, we, we are in tune with, with a lot of things in as far as chart reviews and medical terminology and, and different, you know, residual conditions of, of, of aspects of things.
[00:15:21] But the actual hands-on the actual, well, when, when you look at the, the, the, the, process that that happens with someone as their condition degenerates and, and maybe
[00:15:37] it, it can be a mental health thing, you
[00:15:40] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
[00:15:40] Dan Contreras: where, you, you really have to
[00:15:42] Scott DeLuzio: Have.
[00:15:43] Dan Contreras: present and understand that at, at, at some point. You know, they’re asking you to, to intervene, to, to, to take an active role. And, and this is something that I, I recently was on on vacation [00:16:00] and, and, and my sister-in-law was with us and she wanted to do a, a, a dressing change for Theresa. And I was like, got it. This is where, you know.
[00:16:13] But come to find out, you know,
[00:16:16] they want to play an active
[00:16:17] role too. They
[00:16:18] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
[00:16:19] Dan Contreras: also to help me, you know,
[00:16:21] give Dan a
[00:16:21] break too,
[00:16:22] you know?
[00:16:23] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
[00:16:24] Dan Contreras: I’ve gotta, I’ve
[00:16:25] gotta go ahead and, and, understand
[00:16:28] Scott DeLuzio: that.
[00:16:29] Dan Contreras: that maybe I’m pushing myself to, to a certain limit and extens and extension. So that’s what our caregiver support program does as well. And recently at our winter sports clinic. And as well as our disabled Veterans golf clinic, we incorporated a caregiver breakout session and, and we started to give them a little bit of respite because we know that they’re off and,
[00:16:54] you know, doing their adaptive sport, whatever it is that
[00:16:59] they’re doing. But, [00:17:00] but how can
[00:17:00] Scott DeLuzio: Can
[00:17:01] Dan Contreras: help
[00:17:01] Scott DeLuzio: help
[00:17:02] Dan Contreras: communicate? To others, how they are accomplishing their day-to-day activities. And, and, and you could see that this was something that, again, our organization is evolving. We don’t have all the answers. What we’re hoping is to get that feedback from, from caregivers on how can we help you. How can we give you respite?
[00:17:25] How can we maybe pamper you with, with, you know, a spa day or, you know, do something like that? ‘ cause honestly, I like a spa day, you know? But, but it’s, it’s you know, one of the things too is, is is, I know that she has the community too. That is her, it’s her way of giving back. Honestly, like, so with with her, her cancer support group, she gives back because she’s a, a conduit for them for information about some of the treatments she’s going through, the side
[00:17:59] effects [00:18:00] and different things like that.
[00:18:01] In the same respect, you
[00:18:03] know, they are that for her,
[00:18:05] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
[00:18:05] Dan Contreras: that that’s that community that, that. Can, and I, I, I promote that. I want her to be engaged in that. And, and so the, where my role comes in, you know, where my strength comes in is, is just being able to, one identify her needs, but also,
[00:18:26] Identify where. Maybe
[00:18:28] I don’t fit that mold. And that’s
[00:18:30] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
[00:18:30] Dan Contreras: you know, talking to the care specialist, this is where I, I can go ahead and, and have that conversation and, and maybe next time my sister-in-law can go ahead and, and get engaged and get involved and give me a little bit of break or, you know, so what we tend to do, and you can understand this is, is that we. Tend to believe that we can just put our own lives
[00:18:57] on hold while we act as [00:19:00] this caregiver. You’re gonna burn yourself out. I mean, caregiver burnout it, it both from, from loved ones who take care of veterans, and veterans who are taking care of, there, you know, and, and, and so you have to find that outlet, you know? Asked me like, you know, what do I do in, in order to, to just, well, you know, one of the things I love to do is sing. And so I, I’m on this app called S Mule. I love to sing. And, and, and so that’s, you know, one of my releases. But, I also, you know, kind of get deep into the lyrics and just like, think about ’em
[00:19:38] from a, you know, from that
[00:19:40] standpoint, you know, how they touch me and.
[00:19:42] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
[00:19:43] Dan Contreras: And so it, it’s my escape, you know, and by singing, listening and doing things like that. But, so I, I encourage everyone to just kind of like one, find something that you can do together. You know, just a even simple walks [00:20:00] and, because I’ll tell you the confinement of home and, and where, you know, I know Theresa spends a lot of time in our, in our bedroom, so we dangle carrots. You know, we are, we’re going on a, a, a train trip later this week just to go up the coast and spend a couple days, you know, you know, at a, at a, just a place right on the beach. Just get, you know, get a couple dinners and it, and, and
[00:20:25] come back home. But it, it’s, it’s that escape.
[00:20:28] You need that, you know, and so
[00:20:30] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, to kind of break, break up that mon monotony where, where it’s just the same thing day after day after day. Eventually it’s like, what are we doing here? You know? And, and, and you gotta,
[00:20:39] you gotta take a break away from that. And, and to your point, you, you have to take care of yourself too. And, and I, I think a lot of us have the, the mindset, especially.
[00:20:48] The, the veteran folks who might be listening to this where we’re just gonna take care of everything and, and we’ll, we’ll be able to handle everything. And, and you know, that’s probably fine in a short term situation when you’re in the [00:21:00] middle of an immediate emergency situation. Yeah. You probably can put yourself, put your needs on hold.
[00:21:05] Yeah. You don’t need to go eat lunch right now, or you don’t need to go, you know, take a shower right now or do the,
[00:21:10] Dan Contreras: Right.
[00:21:10] Scott DeLuzio: singing like you, like you said, or you don’t need to go do those things right now because you got this emergency. That right now you have to go handle. But when life becomes the emergency, when it’s day after day after day, month and year after, after year, and.
[00:21:24] You can’t put it on hold forever. Yeah, you can probably do it for a few minutes, maybe a couple hours, something like that. Maybe even, maybe even for the rest of the day. You can put, put your needs on hold, but eventually you’re gonna have to pick those things back up and you’re gonna have to start taking care of yourself.
[00:21:38] And it’s, you know, that classic example of when you get on an airplane and, and they say, you know. Put your oxygen mask on first before helping others. You’re not gonna be any, any use to those other people if you’re passed out because you didn’t put your mask on, right?
[00:21:50] Dan Contreras: Right, right.
[00:21:51] Scott DeLuzio: So, you have to be able to, to take care of yourself and unapologetically you have to be able to take care of yourself because then otherwise you won’t be able to take care [00:22:00] of that person that you want to take care of, at least not as well as you want to be able to take care of them.
[00:22:04] And,
[00:22:05] so that’s why I think programs like this, like, like the, the caregiver support program that you guys have is so important because it, it gives that a little bit of flexibility. It gives, gives some some space so that, that people can be able to you know, take care of themselves, but also have, have that sounding board and, and have somebody there to be able to you know, kind of provide resources or, or help point you in the right direction.
[00:22:28] At least if it’s not something directly that the a v has to offer you know, it might be some other organization, the VA or somewhere else that, that you have you know, that, that. Can provide these types of resources. Now for the listeners who are, are hearing all this, and maybe some of them themselves are, are caregivers or are having care provided to them you know, one side of the coin or the other I’m sure some of them are, are wondering, you know, who qualifies for this caregiver support Pro program
[00:22:55] Dan Contreras: point.
[00:22:56] Scott DeLuzio: and, and who, who can
[00:22:57] take advantage of these services?
[00:22:59] And I don’t mean take [00:23:00] advantage in a, a negative way, but who, who has access to these types of services?
[00:23:03] Dan Contreras: Yeah. And, and just to quickly touch on what, what you were talking about,
[00:23:07] it, it, it’s, have to discover that limits are not weaknesses.
[00:23:12] Scott DeLuzio: Right,
[00:23:13] Dan Contreras: are wisdom. I you think about how you have to take care of somebody. And, and, and you do the wrong thing because you
[00:23:23] are too proud and not want to reach out and, and,
[00:23:27] and find support.
[00:23:28] Find help.
[00:23:29] Scott DeLuzio: right.
[00:23:29] Dan Contreras: are not any good, then you’re not gonna be able to be there. Be present, but who qualifies? It’s so awesome because I talked about this, is that in the onset of, of our for caregivers, DAV was doing on a legislative basis in in supporting, Loved ones who are helping veterans. So there’s one as far as demographic. The other one is veterans or [00:24:00] children, or ones or anyone who’s helping a veteran can qualify under, under that loved one, helping a, helping a veteran. And, and so, we’ve always considered, considered ourselves. An organization, inclusion, you know, we’ll always find an avenue ’cause we even have our auxiliary that, that provides support and, and the auxiliary is, is, is made up
[00:24:26] of those who are Advocates and want to be volunteers and participate in the community of assisting veterans. And then, you know, we even have our local Veterans Assistance program where you don’t even have to be a, a, a veteran, you just wanna help veterans in, in, in some way, shape or form. So for our caregiver support program, you know, those are the demographics that, that are there.
[00:24:52] So essentially, you know, it, it’s, it’s wide open to, to the opportunity to, to. Examine the use with [00:25:00] within the programs that, that we have in our organization and, and through it. Like I said, you can understand a lot of the other, you know, conduits and, and, and support that our organization can provide. of the interesting things is, is that early on in my career with the AV. We just celebrated last year, 10 year anniversary of our recruit military, our, our DAV job program in our association with recruit military, doing job fairs and virtually and, and so important to note even with that program, spouses can utilize our. Our, our job program to help them find career opportunities as well. So we’ve always evolved because we’ll help veterans of course, mitigate the VA process and, and also voc rehab and, and it. Other avenues that, that are [00:26:00] veteran centric. But the ones that DAV does is typically a little more of a broader demographic that, that we use as well as, like I said, with, with spouses in, in our job program.
[00:26:11] And then also with like my, case where I’m a veteran
[00:26:16] helping a loved one, and so DAV caregiver
[00:26:19] support program is there for me.
[00:26:21] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. And that, that’s great that it’s so, such a wide range of, of folks that are able to be helped through this because ultimately, you know, as, as a organization centered on helping veterans it, it’s important to recognize that the. Their loved ones are a kind of a part of them too. So the, the, the loved ones of a veteran are.
[00:26:43] Are a big piece of who they are. And if those people are hurting, then the veteran’s probably hurting in, in one way or another. And you know, maybe not the same physical pain, you know, like you, you’re describing some of the pain that your wife is going through. But it, it still, it hurts, you know, from an emotional level and, and, you know, your, [00:27:00] your mental health probably suffers a little bit because of, you know, watching the things that, that that your loved ones have to go through.
[00:27:06] And, and it’s, it’s just a you know, another way to help. Make that life just that much easier for for the veteran and their families. So, you know, it’s great that it, it kind of works on both sides of the coin, you know, regardless of where that veteran falls that there’s, there’s someone there that, that’s going to be able to help Now, one of the things that you had mentioned, and, and I I wanted to bring this up. I, I forgot about it earlier, but you, you mentioned, you know, like if, if someone is, they’re not at their a hundred percent or they’re not, they’re not giving their, their best effort because they’ve, they’re basically pour, they’re pouring from an empty cup.
[00:27:39] They’re, they’ve given everything they, that they have and they haven’t taken that time to reenergize or rejuvenate or whatever you wanna call it.
[00:27:45] Dan Contreras: Right.
[00:27:46] Scott DeLuzio: and, and they’re helping out with. With things. They’re providing a caregiver role and they’re helping out with things that are that they need to be really focused and pay attention to, like, like dosing out medications and things like that.
[00:27:57] If you’re not, if you’re not at a hundred percent, I know [00:28:00] I’ve, I’ve had to do this before in, in, in my life. I’ve had to, you know, kind of work out some medications and sometimes it’s complicated, so it’s not always the same dosage every single day. Sometimes it’s like this day you take this dose and next day you take a different dose and, and you have to really.
[00:28:13] Pay attention to what it is that you’re doing in order to make sure that you have the right amount so that they’re not either taking too much or too little of whatever the, the medication is. Because, because you could, you could end up harming that person one way or the other if they’re taking too much or too little, that, that could be a problem.
[00:28:30] So, you know, it, it’s important what it is that you guys are offering is important and, and taking care of yourself is not selfish. It’s, it’s actually critical. It’s necessary in order to be able to provide the the care that that your loved one deserves. Right?
[00:28:44] Dan Contreras: Yeah, and I
[00:28:45] Scott DeLuzio: And.
[00:28:45] Dan Contreras: it’s important to find space to, of give yourself a little bit of credit yourself. I mean, it’s not like you have to do this, but by encouraging and, and being that [00:29:00] advocate, you’re, you’re also internalizing it to a certain degree. However, by. By documenting it and, and, and going through that process because there, there’s been a point where I’ve helped Theresa through a process of, of advocating for herself and so much so that sometimes you have to even go to the patient advocacy department of a facility in order to, to make things happen.
[00:29:30] Well, if, if, if we memorialize what’s. Happening, then it’s more constructive and, and you can
[00:29:38] I, I think have a better voice and maybe better action on the part of the advocate. But, but that’s the attunement, the alignment that you have to have in order to, to be able to be a strong advocate and, and a presence that, that sometimes, yeah. a smarty girl. You know, she, [00:30:00] she had a, a, a, a excellent career with, with her, you know, her professional life, and even went back to college afterwards. And so I, I know that stepping back and giving her. Basically, you know, she steers the ship. Even her oncologist has, has deemed that as far as our approach because she, she studies and she knows the, the processes of what’s going on, what trials that are going on and, and what the scope is of her genetic profile.
[00:30:36] And I mean, and so to allow or, or not to allow, but just to understand. That independence is, is so important and, and to appreciate their proactivity. She’s in the 15 percentile of survivors after five years for the type of cancer that she has. The reason that is, is because of her, [00:31:00] her strength, her because I’m telling you, gosh, chemo, symptoms and, and, and the side effects and,
[00:31:09] and the pain that she goes through and all these things.
[00:31:12] I, I don’t think I could do it. I
[00:31:14] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
[00:31:15] Dan Contreras: me I could and, and I’m like, ah, I don’t know. I’m a, I’m a baby when it comes pain and things and, and but like I
[00:31:22] said, just, giving yourself just
[00:31:26] this
[00:31:26] understanding because it’s made
[00:31:27] me
[00:31:28] Scott DeLuzio: Humble
[00:31:29] life.
[00:31:29] Dan Contreras: You
[00:31:30] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
[00:31:30] Dan Contreras: I used
[00:31:31] Scott DeLuzio: I really,
[00:31:32] Dan Contreras: You know, the
[00:31:33] Scott DeLuzio: the proverbial little things
[00:31:34] Dan Contreras: were, were
[00:31:35] Scott DeLuzio: were things because.
[00:31:36] Dan Contreras: like, you know, we’re in the military structure, we’ve got, you know, just the policy adherence and all these different things. But then you’re like, man, does all that really matter when it comes down to, to just being present and, and just allowing
[00:31:53] your yourself to just reflect
[00:31:57] on. Good times because
[00:31:59] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
[00:31:59] Dan Contreras: [00:32:00] have good times. We, we certainly do. And, and we make more good times. We dangle the carrot, you know, trip coming up this, this weekend.
[00:32:08] We’ve got some other stuff that, you know, we,
[00:32:10] we, we dangle
[00:32:11] the carrot with we were
[00:32:12] originally on a trip and, and
[00:32:14] Scott DeLuzio: We were just
[00:32:15] talking about
[00:32:16] Dan Contreras: It was really interesting about
[00:32:17] like things
[00:32:18] that. Bucket list things that
[00:32:20] Scott DeLuzio: things never done or
[00:32:22] Dan Contreras: And,
[00:32:23] and so we’re, we’re
[00:32:24] Scott DeLuzio: sitting there.
[00:32:25] Dan Contreras: we, we had to do room service and we had to just kind of stay in the room because there was no way we could control the pain or anything like that.
[00:32:33] But so she asked me had I, had I ever tried Dom Peron the champagne, you know, and I was like, no. have you? And she’s like, no. She goes, I want to try it. You know, and I’m like. Let’s try it. So then we started like researching the history of Don Peron, which was a monk. And you know, he got into the specialty of, of, of just really how to dissect a grape and, you know, leave the skin [00:33:00] touching out.
[00:33:00] I mean, it, it got into really cool. And so we were we were, we were then in and she goes, let’s get a bottle. And so we’re, we’re looking at where can we buy one? So we’re. In Mexico coming back and we now have determined that at the at the duty free store, could get a bottle of Dom Ferone. And so, but, now we have this bottle of Dom Ferone. We’re gonna go on a, on, on a trip into, you know, later this year and take it with us and have this, this special occasion. So it just, you know, little things like that, you know, just. Dangle the carrot. You’re, you’re just, you’re,
[00:33:43] you’re life is, is
[00:33:48] a
[00:33:49] Scott DeLuzio: A balance when
[00:33:50] Dan Contreras: you
[00:33:51] Scott DeLuzio: have
[00:33:51] Dan Contreras: ability
[00:33:52] to be in line with somebody, but sometimes they’re
[00:33:54] gonna pull you to the
[00:33:56] extreme north
[00:33:57] Scott DeLuzio: north,
[00:33:58] Dan Contreras: and you’ve
[00:33:58] Scott DeLuzio: you gotta go on that because you
[00:33:59] Dan Contreras: you
[00:33:59] [00:34:00] love
[00:34:00] Scott DeLuzio: love that person
[00:34:01] Dan Contreras: And if they could, they’d bring you
[00:34:03] Scott DeLuzio: they could,
[00:34:03] Dan Contreras: balance. But that’s where I
[00:34:05] Scott DeLuzio: I feel like.
[00:34:07] Dan Contreras: you know, the,
[00:34:08] the journey
[00:34:08] is, is
[00:34:09] something
[00:34:10] Scott DeLuzio: That.
[00:34:10] Dan Contreras: we’re both on.
[00:34:11] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
[00:34:12] Dan Contreras: I will, you
[00:34:13] know, stay on
[00:34:14] Scott DeLuzio: Stay on journey with her.
[00:34:16] Dan Contreras: We’re, We’re, still
[00:34:17] Scott DeLuzio: we’re still
[00:34:17] trying to
[00:34:18] find
[00:34:18] Dan Contreras: the miracle, the, the trials, the, you know, just the different things. But if I can make her day just a little bit better, if I can help her in, in any way, and of
[00:34:27] course with talking with my care specialist, there are
[00:34:31] ways, you know,
[00:34:32] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
[00:34:33] Dan Contreras: stuff that we do, like
[00:34:34] the, the,
[00:34:35] things that, that I am Able
[00:34:37] Scott DeLuzio: Able to
[00:34:38] Dan Contreras: for
[00:34:38] Scott DeLuzio: advocate for
[00:34:38] Dan Contreras: also be present
[00:34:40] Scott DeLuzio: resident.
[00:34:40] Dan Contreras: is the number one thing. Yeah.
[00:34:42] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, absolutely. And
[00:34:43] you know, it, it’s important to have somebody to go on that journey to with together. You know, so, so that way you, you don’t feel alone if you’re, if you’re the the person who’s in in need of the care, you don’t wanna feel all alone, like you’ve gotta.
[00:34:56] Take, take this on all on your own and you have nobody in your corner [00:35:00] because that gets very lonely and you know, it, it makes it that much more difficult. And so, but, but same thing on the flip side for the caregiver, knowing that you’re not going through this alone either is, is important too.
[00:35:11] And, and the two of you working together as a team, that that’s great. Experiencing these, these fun and enjoyable things, the things that you guys like to do. And, and even coming up with that, you know, the, the bucket list, the, you know, proverbial bucket list and, and just doing those things. It’s like, Hey, I’ve always wanted to, Hey, why not?
[00:35:29] Let’s just do these things. Right. And so, so those are great.
[00:35:33] But but also knowing that there’s, there’s somebody outside of the two of you who, who’s there to provide some sort of support in, in one form or another. And that, that’s an actually brought up another question that I’m, I’m sure some of the listeners are having.
[00:35:46] As far as the, the caregiver support program, what are some of the, the specific things that, that these these folks are able to provide in terms of support? And, and I know each circumstance is going to be different, so not everyone’s gonna need every single [00:36:00] thing that that’s possible, but, but what are some of the, the kind of just broad terms of, of stuff that, that the caregiver support program is able to provide to folks who who find themselves in need
[00:36:11] Dan Contreras: Well
[00:36:11] Scott DeLuzio: that.
[00:36:12] Dan Contreras: what’s really special about this program is is because when you have a conversation with the care specialists, they
[00:36:20] not only
[00:36:21] identify your needs, but they identify
[00:36:22] where you’re at, so
[00:36:24] Scott DeLuzio: So they can go
[00:36:25] ahead
[00:36:26] Dan Contreras: within your
[00:36:26] Scott DeLuzio: your own community,
[00:36:28] Dan Contreras: come up with.
[00:36:29] Avenues of
[00:36:30] support. So if
[00:36:31] it’s a morale, welfare thing or if it’s
[00:36:34] a an
[00:36:35] activity that you
[00:36:36] Scott DeLuzio: You need help around the house?
[00:36:38] Dan Contreras: And even on a whim there, there’s been incidents or, or where somebody needed immediate support. the resources within our organization, under our local Veterans
[00:36:52] Assistance program. Contacted our, our local
[00:36:55] Veterans Assistance program. We
[00:36:58] Scott DeLuzio: [00:37:00] Yeah.
[00:37:01] Dan Contreras: chapters like all over the country and we have departments like mine in California that have an array of of services. Directly in our own states with volunteers from those chapters in
[00:37:17] those specific communities
[00:37:19] who will rise to the
[00:37:20] occasion and give
[00:37:21] them
[00:37:22] the support. So,
[00:37:23] Scott DeLuzio: So,
[00:37:24] Dan Contreras: I mean,
[00:37:24] Scott DeLuzio: I mean, we, talked about the mental health side of it,
[00:37:27] Dan Contreras: an
[00:37:27] Scott DeLuzio: an important part of it. They can direct you.
[00:37:30] Dan Contreras: clinical services. They can,
[00:37:31] Direct you to the services within DAV. If
[00:37:34] it’s claims work, it’s a, if it’s
[00:37:36] Scott DeLuzio: Volunteer work that, that you need or if
[00:37:39] Dan Contreras: or it, they
[00:37:40] Scott DeLuzio: they could
[00:37:40] Dan Contreras: Direct
[00:37:41] Scott DeLuzio: direct you to
[00:37:42] Dan Contreras: community
[00:37:43] Scott DeLuzio: events
[00:37:43] that
[00:37:44] that
[00:37:44] Dan Contreras: you
[00:37:44] Scott DeLuzio: you might both wanna
[00:37:46] Dan Contreras: engage
[00:37:47] Scott DeLuzio: in? Like I talked about
[00:37:48] Dan Contreras: the
[00:37:49] Scott DeLuzio: craft
[00:37:50] Dan Contreras: things like that.
[00:37:51] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
[00:37:51] Dan Contreras: a, ceramic thing that Theresa and I are looking at, you know, going to get into and bring a bottle of wine
[00:37:57] and, and, you
[00:37:58] know,
[00:37:59] make [00:38:00] a, a, jar or something. I don’t
[00:38:01] know,
[00:38:01] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
[00:38:02] Dan Contreras: know, so.
[00:38:03] And, and then of
[00:38:04] Scott DeLuzio: and then of course the safety
[00:38:05] aspect of things
[00:38:07] Dan Contreras: direct
[00:38:07] Scott DeLuzio: direct you to that.
[00:38:09] Dan Contreras: a
[00:38:09] Scott DeLuzio: A caregiver is not
[00:38:11] Dan Contreras: of
[00:38:12] Scott DeLuzio: kind of
[00:38:13] Dan Contreras: program or
[00:38:14] Scott DeLuzio: or anything
[00:38:14] Dan Contreras: like
[00:38:14] Scott DeLuzio: like that. And, and as we talked about it,
[00:38:17] it,
[00:38:17] Dan Contreras: it’s, it’s,
[00:38:18] Scott DeLuzio: it’s so unique. It,
[00:38:19] and my role has
[00:38:21] Dan Contreras: definitely expanded
[00:38:22] Scott DeLuzio: as,
[00:38:23] as,
[00:38:24] Dan Contreras: Her condition has progressed in
[00:38:26] Scott DeLuzio: other
[00:38:27] Dan Contreras: aspects of, of,
[00:38:28] of her care have evolved
[00:38:30] because of that.
[00:38:31] But I mean,
[00:38:32] Scott DeLuzio: I mean,
[00:38:33] Dan Contreras: you know, like I
[00:38:33] Scott DeLuzio: like I said, it
[00:38:34] Dan Contreras: it’s going to
[00:38:35] Scott DeLuzio: gonna be
[00:38:35] Dan Contreras: the
[00:38:36] Scott DeLuzio: the ask
[00:38:36] Dan Contreras: that’s the
[00:38:37] Scott DeLuzio: that’s the
[00:38:37] most important part of it. And
[00:38:39] Dan Contreras: And, DAV
[00:38:40] with, with, its just, it’s, it’s.
[00:38:44] The wide
[00:38:45] Scott DeLuzio: array
[00:38:45] Dan Contreras: of services
[00:38:46] Scott DeLuzio: services that we have that are.
[00:38:47] Dan Contreras: are already professionally ingrained services, but then also just the
[00:38:52] generosity of, of our, time and,
[00:38:55] and, and the, the
[00:38:57] Scott DeLuzio: Presence of our chapters.
[00:38:59] Dan Contreras: every [00:39:00] single state in the nation, i, I, is an opportunity for, for another way that, that we can help a caregiver and. If there’s something that’s unique and different and, and that we wanna know about that as well. Because the program can only grow on the basis of its needs. And
[00:39:19] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
[00:39:21] Dan Contreras: Presents a different type of need, then that’s where we can one, try to establish.
[00:39:29] Some
[00:39:29] support services for them, but also
[00:39:31] understand that this is
[00:39:32] something that we need
[00:39:33] Scott DeLuzio: We need,
[00:39:33] Dan Contreras: board. and and now
[00:39:36] Scott DeLuzio: now we have.
[00:39:37] Dan Contreras: a a, a
[00:39:38] catalog of, of, of a new way of, of how we can
[00:39:42] support caregivers
[00:39:44] Scott DeLuzio: Right. But yeah, because if one person is asking for this, chances are there’s, there’s other people who are looking for it and just haven’t asked for it yet. And so if it’s, if it’s something that you, you can bring up and it now becomes kind of,
[00:39:58] institutionalized in, in this [00:40:00] program that, that it’s, Hey, now this is something that we are, it’s on our radar.
[00:40:03] We know that this is something that we, we can offer to folks that just makes the whole program so much better.
[00:40:09] Dan Contreras: you know, I mean, you, you, if you just put it like, even in a
[00:40:12] broader spectrum, it could be emotional,
[00:40:15] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
[00:40:16] Dan Contreras: and it could even be spiritual because the, so much happens in. In the scope of, of, of your daily activities, but also for you and for, for your loved one that, that you’re, you’re going through all of these different types of challenges. I mean, I, I know when she was first diagnosed, I just wanted to bust out and just really just weep. And, and Theresa, I told her she’s strong, you know, she’s she was already. in the
[00:40:49] mode of, of, of how we mitigate this, how do we
[00:40:53] go step by
[00:40:55] Scott DeLuzio: By step and then
[00:40:56] Dan Contreras: of, of, of trying to [00:41:00]
[00:41:00] go after
[00:41:01] this illness, this condition, this
[00:41:04] disease.
[00:41:05] And, And,
[00:41:05] so that’s
[00:41:06] Scott DeLuzio: that’s where the,
[00:41:07] Dan Contreras: strength, you know, has to
[00:41:08] come in from, from, from,
[00:41:10] my
[00:41:11] Scott DeLuzio: my
[00:41:11] Dan Contreras: point of
[00:41:12] Scott DeLuzio: of view to be strong
[00:41:12] Dan Contreras: there
[00:41:13] Scott DeLuzio: there.
[00:41:13] Dan Contreras: But I,
[00:41:15] Scott DeLuzio: I, I think that
[00:41:16] Dan Contreras: The physical
[00:41:17] Scott DeLuzio: physical
[00:41:17] aspect
[00:41:18] Dan Contreras: be
[00:41:19] Scott DeLuzio: also be there as well. Yeah.
[00:41:20] Dan Contreras: You know,
[00:41:20] Scott DeLuzio: You know, we were talking about transfer, you’re talking about, you
[00:41:23] Dan Contreras: them.
[00:41:24] Scott DeLuzio: know,
[00:41:25] Dan Contreras: I,
[00:41:25] Scott DeLuzio: I,
[00:41:25] I, I’ve seen challenges like at the airport where
[00:41:27] Dan Contreras: I just
[00:41:28] Scott DeLuzio: I just
[00:41:28] know she’s not gonna
[00:41:29] really
[00:41:31] Dan Contreras: do
[00:41:32] Scott DeLuzio: do well. Going from
[00:41:33] Dan Contreras: one
[00:41:33] Scott DeLuzio: one area to another,
[00:41:35] Dan Contreras: And so it’s
[00:41:35] Scott DeLuzio: kind of like,
[00:41:36] Dan Contreras: okay,
[00:41:37] you know, you gotta
[00:41:37] Scott DeLuzio: you gotta call service
[00:41:38] Dan Contreras: and, and
[00:41:39] get that.
[00:41:39] Scott DeLuzio: That.
[00:41:40] Dan Contreras: That on board and, and
[00:41:41] you know, never believe That that
[00:41:44] Scott DeLuzio: that
[00:41:44] would be
[00:41:44] Dan Contreras: the
[00:41:45] Scott DeLuzio: case
[00:41:46] Dan Contreras: But, you
[00:41:47] just
[00:41:48] Scott DeLuzio: rise to that moment.
[00:41:50] Dan Contreras: is
[00:41:50] like
[00:41:50] Scott DeLuzio: Like what’s
[00:41:51] Dan Contreras: interest of them. And
[00:41:52] Scott DeLuzio: sometimes you just
[00:41:53]
[00:41:53] Dan Contreras: That’s, that could be daily, that.
[00:41:55] Scott DeLuzio: that.
[00:41:56] Dan Contreras: that could be monthly, that could be just something that evolves [00:42:00] and you just
[00:42:00] slowly see that transition.
[00:42:02] And you but, but to be Able
[00:42:04] Scott DeLuzio: Able
[00:42:04] Dan Contreras: to have
[00:42:05] Scott DeLuzio: have that network
[00:42:06] Dan Contreras: to
[00:42:06] talk
[00:42:07] Scott DeLuzio: talk to individual because I mean, I try.
[00:42:09] Dan Contreras: dynamics and I, I just didn’t find
[00:42:12] them to be effective for me.
[00:42:15] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
[00:42:15] Dan Contreras: not saying that they’re not, because they certainly are. I
[00:42:18] think they, we could even credit Theresa’s
[00:42:21] group dynamics are probably saving her life.
[00:42:23] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
[00:42:24] Dan Contreras: ‘ cause she had, she had given up no chemo. I don’t want nothing. But then she realized that everybody was taking chemo. Like daily medication. It, it, it was the way to sustain and, and hold back the disease. Maybe not cure it, but certainly because,
[00:42:43] When, when she was
[00:42:44] first diagnosed, it wasn’t a matter
[00:42:45] of if it would
[00:42:46] come back.
[00:42:46] It was
[00:42:47] when,
[00:42:47] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah,
[00:42:48] Dan Contreras: would come back and,
[00:42:49] Scott DeLuzio: well.
[00:42:49] Dan Contreras: so those are the things. Yeah,
[00:42:52] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Yeah. And, and something like that, like it at least gives you a, a fighting chance, right? It, it, it may not be it may not be, like you said, [00:43:00] a, a, a cure, but it gives you that chance to, to keep, keep fighting, you know, ano live to fight another day basically. And you know, keep moving forward.
[00:43:10] And you know, while, while that may not necessarily be the cure that you’re looking for it, it may.
[00:43:17] Give you the time for a cure to become available. You know, there’s changes in medical science all the time that that happened and you know, if, if you just gave up and it was, it was over tomorrow, then.
[00:43:32] Who knows what next year will, will bring and what the year after that could bring and, and it could have that cure available for you and,
[00:43:39] Dan Contreras: yeah,
[00:43:40] Scott DeLuzio: You know, so, so keeping your,
[00:43:42] your head in the game and you know, ke keeping your, your spirits about you is, is important. And I think that that goes both ways.
[00:43:48] You know, for the, the person receiving the care and also the caregiver you know, keep keeping your spirits up are you know, certainly something that’s important. But having, again, having someone there who can point you in [00:44:00] the right direction so that you’re not having to figure out everything all on your own.
[00:44:03] Who, someone who’s already been there, done that, experienced some of these things through maybe not their, their own situation with. Being a caregiver themselves, but through helping other folks, they, they have this, this list of resources that will, will just help in, in your, your situation. And even if they don’t have that list, they know where to find,
[00:44:26] The, that particular you know, service or,
[00:44:28] or opportunity or event or, or whatever it is that you might be looking for.
[00:44:33] And and, and those types of things, I think are just super important to help. Just, it, it’s not gonna. Take all the weight off your shoulders, but it’ll take the edge off and it it’ll help help you to you know, take a breath and, and en and maybe even enjoy some, some part of life as well. And and, and be able to continue providing the care that your, your loved one needs.
[00:44:55] Right?
[00:44:56] Dan Contreras: Yeah.
[00:44:57] Scott DeLuzio: So,
[00:44:57] Dan Contreras: when you think about it, it, it, it,
[00:44:59] it, [00:45:00] we’re, we’re
[00:45:01] not defined by what we
[00:45:02] lost. You know, we’re
[00:45:04] defined
[00:45:05] Scott DeLuzio: hmm.
[00:45:05] Dan Contreras: how we show up for each other. I
[00:45:07] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
[00:45:07] Dan Contreras: that’s in everything that we do. It’s, it’s, you know, I, I’ve found other avenues to, take care of myself. I mean, I, I, I think through showing up for her, she shows up for me in, in, in ways that, that just are
[00:45:28] are unique in the way that she can,
[00:45:32] you know, and, and I, I, I see
[00:45:34] Scott DeLuzio: I see that.
[00:45:34] Dan Contreras: I, I feel it. When I was thinking of running for national office the second year in is when she was diagnosed and I was like, ah, I’m done. You know, I mean this is, this is our focus. She quit working. I was gonna do that, and, and she told me something that just, I mean, it rings to this day because
[00:45:57] been on that journey with me, she’s [00:46:00] gone
[00:46:00] ahead and understood that
[00:46:02] Scott DeLuzio: There’s.
[00:46:02] Dan Contreras: be. A lot of sacrifices from both of us. But she said that if I stop that pursuit, that I have been really, you know, working towards, in, in my own life with, with the organization, with, with my, with myself, and the pursuit of, of how could I. Evolve in this organization
[00:46:28] further to support the mission and everything that we
[00:46:30] do. said That that
[00:46:33] Scott DeLuzio: That would kill her.
[00:46:34] Dan Contreras: before anything, you know,
[00:46:36] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
[00:46:37] Dan Contreras: she’s been there for me. And, and she is been there prior to her cancer for me in, in a, in a big way. And so it, it, it’s reciprocating, but it’s also just, I know that, that given flip side of the circumstances, you know, she would not, [00:47:00]
[00:47:01] hesitate to do everything that was
[00:47:03] necessary or that I needed as well,
[00:47:05] Scott DeLuzio: Right
[00:47:06] Dan Contreras: and, and that’s,
[00:47:07] You know, like I said, it’s
[00:47:11] the
[00:47:11] Scott DeLuzio: caregiving.
[00:47:12] Dan Contreras: of it.
[00:47:12] We, we might not be caregivers
[00:47:15] ourselves, but we should identify.
[00:47:18] That we know a caregiver, we can, can go ahead and relate to it on the basis of, of seeing where maybe they aren’t doing something that they used to do or that,
[00:47:31] They really have to focus
[00:47:34] on taking care of somebody.
[00:47:36] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
[00:47:37] Dan Contreras: And, so how can we. As a community, help them. And, and if, and if they fit within this demographics, then of course refer them to us. I mean, I, I’ve been at a meeting where it started out like, how many of your caregivers and about maybe, you know, you know, room of 400 people, 25 people raise their hand. But they were [00:48:00] like wait, keep your hands up. And by the end of it. Probably 80% of the room had their hand up, you know, because they were a caregiver. They’re getting care. They know a loved one that’s a caregiver. Can relate to some of the ways that they can give back to, a community to, to support caregivers. There’s, there’s just a, a way of of, of just identifying because. Yeah, I mean, growing up and, and we, we talked about this,
[00:48:35] we, you know, prior to the show about like how
[00:48:39] it can directly impact you at any time,
[00:48:41] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
[00:48:41] Dan Contreras: and, and, and,
[00:48:42] it’s, it’s something that it’s
[00:48:44] great to know that there are resources there,
[00:48:46] you
[00:48:46] Scott DeLuzio: Right.
[00:48:47] Dan Contreras: like having
[00:48:47] insurance, you
[00:48:48] know, it may
[00:48:49] not need it, but
[00:48:50] Scott DeLuzio: Right,
[00:48:51] Dan Contreras: and,
[00:48:52] Scott DeLuzio: And
[00:48:52] and, and,
[00:48:53] Dan Contreras: our,
[00:48:53] Scott DeLuzio: And
[00:48:53] hopefully,
[00:48:54] Dan Contreras: is, is there for, for the exploration and then
[00:48:57] again. You know, just
[00:48:59] that [00:49:00] we see you, you
[00:49:01] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
[00:49:01] Dan Contreras: sees you. I, I, I know that, that
[00:49:04] we wouldn’t have had this program
[00:49:08] if it wasn’t that that need was
[00:49:10] Scott DeLuzio: Right.
[00:49:10] Dan Contreras: You know, I mean, it, it, it certainly is there and, and we’ve surpassed 2000 caregivers that we’ve touched in less than the two years that are, or just a little over two years that our program. Was, was started. And, and
[00:49:24] And there’s countless of caregivers that we
[00:49:27] still can, can touch. And
[00:49:29] Scott DeLuzio: I’m sure.
[00:49:30] Dan Contreras: I mean, there’s a weird statistic ’cause 70% of of military
[00:49:33] Scott DeLuzio: are people.
[00:49:34] Dan Contreras: will
[00:49:34] be a caregiver, some part of their
[00:49:37] life for 10 years or more,
[00:49:40] Scott DeLuzio: Oh, wow.
[00:49:40] Dan Contreras: you know, and that’s, that’s heavy to understand that, that veterans are taking care of loved ones that much.
[00:49:47] And so, of course we look at, okay. a, where’s a new way for DAV to provide outreach, to support, to, to give back to our, to our veterans in a
[00:49:59] way that [00:50:00] is
[00:50:03] definitely valid,
[00:50:04] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
[00:50:05] Dan Contreras: all this is free. You
[00:50:07] know, you don’t have to pay for anything. You don’t pay for our, our service work that we do. We don’t, you don’t pay for this caregiver initiative and let me. Make sure that our, our, the listeners understand this not associated with VA at all. You know, we, so it, it’s not something that that the caregivers are gonna get a monetary support
[00:50:29] or something, but, but it’s certainly there,
[00:50:32] Scott DeLuzio: I think all of these, these these programs, like you were just saying you know, it, it is sort of like insurance, you know, hopefully you don’t need it. But it’s there if you do. And you know, with the, the statistic that you gave that, that 70% of veterans at, at one point or another will be become a caregiver for 10 ish years or so.
[00:50:51] Like, that’s, that’s a significant amount of somebody’s life. You know, at, at. At any stage in the game, that’s gonna be a significant amount of, of somebody’s life [00:51:00] becoming a, a, a caregiver for that extended period of time. And you know, like, like I was saying earlier, when you have you know, in a immediate emergency, yeah, you can put your own needs on hold for, you know, a few hours, a couple days maybe, you know, things like that.
[00:51:14] But, but when you’re talking about 10 years, if you’re gonna put life on hold for 10 years and, and just put everything. About you on hold
[00:51:25] Dan Contreras: Right.
[00:51:26] Scott DeLuzio: and focus on providing care. You’re gonna become a shell of, of who you once were, and you’re not gonna be the, the yourself and you won’t be able to provide that care in, in any meaningful way for an extended period of time like that.
[00:51:41] So, so you need the help. You need the support,
[00:51:43] Dan Contreras: Right.
[00:51:44] Scott DeLuzio: and, and knowing that there is a program there. Granted, you may not need it today, you may not need it tomorrow, but knowing that it’s there and that there are people there who can provide some assistance when you do need it, is, is definitely great peace of mind to have.
[00:51:59] [00:52:00] And, and so, you know, I, I encourage everyone you mentioned the website earlier the DV caregivers.org is, is is the website. And I’ll, I’ll have that link in the show notes for, for folks to check out. And so.
[00:52:12] For the, the, listeners. Definitely check that out. If, if you are in need or somebody you know is in need send that link to the people that you, you might know and say, Hey, check this out.
[00:52:21] It’s, it’s there, it’s a resource that’s available for you if, you know you fit that criteria that, that Dan was talking about earlier. Just, just fill out the, the form, fill out the information and, and get the support. Like you said, it was, it was like basically overnight you got the, you had someone there providing some support, right?
[00:52:38] So,
[00:52:39] Dan Contreras: for
[00:52:39] Scott DeLuzio: So that, that, that could just be a game changer for, for a lot of people. So, again, dav
[00:52:44] caregivers.org is the website. We’ll have it in the show notes, but Dan, I, I want to thank you for coming on and sharing not only your, your, your personal story you know, which, which I think was important, but also the.
[00:52:54] The, all the stuff that DAV is doing with the caregiver support program. And you know, all the stuff that you guys do is [00:53:00] just, just really amazing and I’m really glad to be able to highlight some of this, this great work on the show and, and hopefully raise some awareness for folks who, who might need it.
[00:53:09] Dan Contreras: Well, thank you,
[00:53:09] Scott DeLuzio: Thank you, Scott
[00:53:10] Dan Contreras: elevating this topic and, and yes that
[00:53:14] simple trip to dav
[00:53:16] Scott DeLuzio: Caregiver org.
[00:53:17] Dan Contreras: all you need to do just to, to take that little battery of a, of an assessment that will open your eyes, really, and so appreciate. and, and all that you do to get this information as well as other topics that, that are, are central to your, your initiatives and, and being from the military, you know, you, you can engage in, in, in so many different ways as far as like, the opportunity to, to touch those who have already been serving our, our, our country in such a profound way is, is, is where I, I found. getting back to the giving aspect of, of,
[00:53:55] working and, and being with this organization. It has
[00:53:58] given me that opportunity, [00:54:00] so thank you, Scott. Appreciate
[00:54:01] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, absolutely. Thanks so much, Dan.
[00:54:13]