Episode 548 Cheri Carandanis How Painting Helped an Air Force Veteran Recover Her Sense of Self Transcript

This transcript is from episode 548 with guest Cheri Carandanis.

[00:00:00] Scott DeLuzio: Sometimes life changes you in a way that you never planned for. You’ve built your career, maybe your military career, maybe your post-military career. You serve with pride and you think that you know your direction, your purpose, your meaning in life. And then one day everything shifts. And that’s what happened to Air Force Nurse Shari Cardanis after two brain injuries.

[00:00:25] She had to walk away from the work that defined her. What came next wasn’t quick or easy for her through artwork that she discovered. She found a way to rebuild her confidence, rebuild her peace, and find a new kind of purpose in life. We will get more into that story in just a minute here. But before we begin, I want to take a moment to raise awareness for something that’s important to our community.

[00:00:51] The Global War on Terrorism Memorial Foundation. This organization is working to build a permanent national memorial in Washington, DC to under the service members, [00:01:00] families and civilians who are impacted by the global war on terrorism. This memorial will be both a, uh, tribute to those who served and a way to ensure that their sacrifices.

[00:01:11] Are recognized and remembered for generations to come. If you’d like to learn more or find out how you can support their mission, visit GWOT memorial foundation.org. Now, let’s get into today’s episode.

[00:01:23]

[00:01:37] Scott DeLuzio: Hey, Cheri, welcome to the show. Really glad to have you here.

[00:01:40] Cheri Carandanis: Thank you, Scott. I’m really looking forward to this conversation.

[00:01:43] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, no, absolutely. I, I’ve been looking forward to it as well, and I know we’ve kind of gone back and forth trying to, trying to get you on the show and you know, scheduling and stuff is always, always an issue sometimes with, with you know, this, this type of environment, you know, tr trying to get everybody in the same place at the same time.

[00:01:58] But we’re here now and this [00:02:00] is great, and yeah, like I said, looking forward to it. So tell us a, a little bit about your background, a little bit about who you are and you know, kind of military history, that, that type of thing. Just for the listeners who maybe aren’t familiar with you and, and want to kind of get to know who you are first before we kind of dive into your story and kind of a little bit more about who you are.

[00:02:17] Cheri Carandanis: For sure. I was born a very proud Air Force brat. My father was in the Air Force for 26 years, and he married my mom who he met in Korea, on his way to Vietnam. So we’re very much a military family. And I was raised on various Air Force bases and a lot of them overseas. I think I grew up mostly, I would say from fifth grade till I graduated high school. I was in England and so we were at Bent Waters in Woodbridge all those years, which is really rare to be able to stay overseas that long. But my dad finagled his way and we were able to stay, and so it was, it was a lot of fun. I loved our community there. We [00:03:00] traveled a lot, obviously and just being a part of the DOD school system and playing sports and traveling and seeing all the other schools, it, it was, it was a great way to grow up.

[00:03:10] Scott DeLuzio: Cool.

[00:03:10] Cheri Carandanis: And then I went off to Oral Roberts University in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and I went to school to be a nurse and graduated and I got a job there locally in Tulsa for about, I don’t know, about eight months. And I woke up one morning and I was like. I don’t think I could do this every day, just waking up in the same place with the same people.

[00:03:34] Like military life is just always in

[00:03:37] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.

[00:03:38] Cheri Carandanis: And so I found myself at the Air Force Recruiter’s office and they offered me a nice bonus because I already had my degree and already had my nursing license and joined the military. And my parents were shocked. They were shocked, but I did that. But it ended up being a very good decision for me.

[00:03:56] So I went to commissioned officer [00:04:00] training and my first station was at Biloxi, Mississippi at Keesler Air Force Base. And then I worked as a kind of a floor nurse just starting out. ’cause I was a, I was a baby nurse and and I really wanted to end up in the ICU. And so I kept asking to go to the ICU and finally the opportunity came.

[00:04:18] I was able to get, get into the IC and get trained by some amazing people in the ICU kind of the, the creme de la creme of ICU nurses become CAT nurses. And so seacat nurses are critical care air transport nurses. And so CCA teams are where there’s an intensivist doctor like a pulmonologist or something like that, a critical care nurse and a respiratory therapist. There’s three of us and we are equipped to set up. Many mobile ICUs and any opportune aircraft in wartime situations. And so it was a new concept that was being kind of born at that time. And so I was sent to San [00:05:00] Antonio Wilford Hall there to be trained as a Seacat nurse. And then because it was kind of peace time, essentially we would just do domestic flights.

[00:05:09] Like take one patient from one ICU, take them to another ICU if they needed to be relocated for whatever

[00:05:15] Scott DeLuzio: Okay.

[00:05:16] Cheri Carandanis: I was deployed to prince Salt Air Base in Saudi Arabia for Operation Northern Watch. Learned a lot there. That was incredible. But then September 11th happened and I got deployed to it.

[00:05:30] We first staged out of in Solic Air Base in Turkey and then we kind of kept getting moved down range. ’cause we, we, we kind of went right after September 11th happened and just kept getting moved down and I ended up at Bagram Airbase.

[00:05:44] Scott DeLuzio: Okay.

[00:05:45] Cheri Carandanis: and so, gosh. I, I didn’t feel like it belonged there. I was like, I’m a nurse. They issued me my firearm. And I was like, ah, oh my gosh, that’s, that’s [00:06:00] not what I do. But quickly remembered not, I am not just a nurse, I’m also an airman. And so I had to put my big girl pants on and, and, and be an airman. And not just an airman, but a captain. Like I, I had to look out for some people.

[00:06:14] Scott DeLuzio: Sure,

[00:06:15] Cheri Carandanis: And so, we had an amazing team. We, we really did, and we became family and obviously as intense times. We flew to some missions. But it was just the honor of my life. It was the honor of my life to be there out of my comfort zone, not knowing like I should have paid more attention When we did our field exercises,

[00:06:34] Scott DeLuzio: sure.

[00:06:36] Cheri Carandanis: I had no idea how to put out a, put up a tent. I should have paid more attention. but lots of people there to help. So thank God for the Army and the Marines they, they saved me and taught me the ropes.

[00:06:52] Scott DeLuzio: You know, it’s fun. It’s funny that you mention that because I, I was Army and Army Infantry. So, when, [00:07:00] when you, you mentioned.

[00:07:01] Cheri Carandanis: Force shows up?

[00:07:02] Scott DeLuzio: When you, when you mentioned that, when you mentioned all the, the stuff that you were going through and, and you’re like, I don’t even know how to put up a tent, and I’m, I’m thinking to myself, well, neither do I, because we didn’t use them.

[00:07:12] If we ever set ’em up, it was probably for the Air Force so that they could use them.

[00:07:16] Cheri Carandanis: Well, that was so funny because, you know, in the Air Force it’s, we are known to have the luxe life.

[00:07:23] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.

[00:07:24] Cheri Carandanis: we, know, and so we show up to Bagram and we have our rucksack and then we just have our medical equipment and that is it. That’s what we show up with. And we think we’re going to go to Billeting and there’s going to be someone with keys there to show us to our rooms. We are at war and we’re in Afghanistan. There is no billeting.

[00:07:45] Scott DeLuzio: Right.

[00:07:46] Cheri Carandanis: You will sleep outside in the elements until you figure out your billeting. ’cause we’re like, well, where do we get a tent? And they’re like, you didn’t come with a tent? We’re like, no, what, what Whatcha talking about? We’re medical people. We dunno. We [00:08:00] dunno these things. And so we quickly had to learn who to befriend and there weren’t a lot of women.

[00:08:08] Scott DeLuzio: Right.

[00:08:09] Cheri Carandanis: on, on the base at the time because it, things were just starting to get built and, and, and going. And so that was interesting to be a woman at that kind of base. So far forward, down range. But you know, you just really see the comradery come together between, you know, between the services.

[00:08:27] And not only that, but internationally, because Spain was there and France was there, and England was there, and a lot of them were there for humanitarian

[00:08:35] Scott DeLuzio: Mm. Okay.

[00:08:36] Cheri Carandanis: for the combat missions. They, they were there for humanitarian. So it was such an interesting of who ended up on that small little base at that time. And so it was it was bewildering. I was confused. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I learned so much and, and really made some amazing relationships through that. Through that.

[00:08:59] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. [00:09:00] And another interesting thing too that you just mentioned is, is like the, the, the people on that. And you said little base. When, when I was there I was at Bagram, just temporarily just kind of passing through in 2010. So this is, you know, almost a decade later and was probably one of the largest bases I’ve ever been on.

[00:09:17] It was just so sprawling and huge. And there’s streets and there’s

[00:09:21] Cheri Carandanis: crazy.

[00:09:22] Scott DeLuzio: all over the place. So they, they took care of the building for you. Don’t worry about it. That, that got handled.

[00:09:27] Cheri Carandanis: I’m glad. I’m glad my complaint card made its

[00:09:30] Scott DeLuzio: It made its way. So it’s, you know, when you fill out those cards, you know, people are, are, are, people are listening. They care, they actually care. It may take a decade to get anything done, but

[00:09:39] Cheri Carandanis: I was there, they were still clearing the, the mines

[00:09:41] Scott DeLuzio: okay.

[00:09:43] Cheri Carandanis: many IUDs everywhere. I

[00:09:44] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.

[00:09:46] Cheri Carandanis: And so it was, it was crazy. Like even at night you had to, they didn’t issue us military people. I don’t know why they didn’t issue us night night vision.

[00:09:55] And it was a dark base. Like

[00:09:56] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.

[00:09:56] Cheri Carandanis: you’re not allowed to have flashlights you, you [00:10:00] some hilarious stories about being on a dark base.

[00:10:04] Scott DeLuzio: Oh, I can imagine. Yeah,

[00:10:06] Cheri Carandanis: that where our jobs, we need light.

[00:10:08] Scott DeLuzio: yeah,

[00:10:08] Cheri Carandanis: to see what we’re doing.

[00:10:10] Scott DeLuzio: yeah. Absolutely.

[00:10:11] Cheri Carandanis: that was, that was an interesting thing to overcome. But like at night you couldn’t walk without night vision.

[00:10:17] Scott DeLuzio: Right. Yeah. It’s pitch black.

[00:10:18] Cheri Carandanis: you had to stay on because if you go off the path, you can get blown up. and so we had to find people with night vision and kind of buddy up with

[00:10:26] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.

[00:10:27] Cheri Carandanis: could walk us to the latrine or to wherever we needed to go.

[00:10:30] Scott DeLuzio: That’s, that’s, yeah. That’s

[00:10:33] Cheri Carandanis: they didn’t really have latrines. I don’t know if you’ve ever been to a base where it’s so early that they don’t have like latrines. They had the PVC pipes sticking outta the ground guys would just go into the PVC pipes and I’m like, well girls, that doesn’t happen.

[00:10:47] Scott DeLuzio: I mean,

[00:10:47] Cheri Carandanis: work.

[00:10:49] Scott DeLuzio: I know, yeah. It’s just things that, that are kind of the growing pains, I guess, of, of setting up a new base and, and things like that. But you know, eventually they, these things get, get ironed out and, and [00:11:00] they have, they have you know, the, the, I guess, proper facilities for, for folks at that point.

[00:11:04] But

[00:11:05] Cheri Carandanis: really it. I mean, it was uncomfortable and and awkward, but it was really fun too

[00:11:10] Scott DeLuzio: sure.

[00:11:11] Cheri Carandanis: solving like I remember the women were, were given from oh 900 to oh nine 30 shower time,

[00:11:18] Scott DeLuzio: Hmm.

[00:11:18] Cheri Carandanis: in the shower tent. And there was maybe 50 of us on post at that time. And so you can imagine 50 women trying to shower within 30 minutes.

[00:11:27] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah,

[00:11:28] Cheri Carandanis: It’s chaos.

[00:11:29] Scott DeLuzio: can imagine.

[00:11:30] Cheri Carandanis: and so I didn’t get into the, you know, ’cause you know, I don’t know, I’m just not assertive maybe. And so I was like, go ahead, go ahead you guys. You guys need to shower. You know, the nurse in me wanted to take care of everybody, make sure they, they had what they needed and then the showers to get cut off and all the guys needed,

[00:11:46] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.

[00:11:47] Cheri Carandanis: get in there for their time.

[00:11:48] And so then we met the Spanish. And the Spanish had the most amazing shower where it was like a car wash. And all US women, they invited us to come with their women and we would line up [00:12:00] like a car wash and we would go through their shower tent

[00:12:02] Scott DeLuzio: Oh my gosh.

[00:12:03] Cheri Carandanis: we would have the washing station, the rinsing station and the station.

[00:12:08] Scott DeLuzio: It’s efficient, I guess, right?

[00:12:10] Cheri Carandanis: it’s very efficient. And I was like. is my life? where am I?

[00:12:16] Scott DeLuzio: What if I been missing all these years?

[00:12:19] Cheri Carandanis: And so thank God for the Spanish that they took mercy

[00:12:22] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.

[00:12:23] Cheri Carandanis: women and us to go through their car

[00:12:26] Scott DeLuzio: That’s funny. That’s funny. It’s

[00:12:28] Cheri Carandanis: So anyways, I did go serve there. Honor. It was such an honor

[00:12:33] Scott DeLuzio: mm-hmm.

[00:12:34] Cheri Carandanis: work on our troops in the air and get them home the best we could, came back and, you know. I just, I had the wrong A FSC, you know, I, my job just was highly deployable

[00:12:49] And I had just gotten married and we wanted to have children, and I just, I saw so many of my friends get deployed with babies at home. It just broke [00:13:00] my heart. I, I mean, my, my respiratory therapist that was on my team, she had a two month old that she had to wean in 24 hours and be on the flight

[00:13:09] Scott DeLuzio: oh, wow.

[00:13:10] Cheri Carandanis: it just, I mean, we wrote so many letters to congressmen while we were there trying to get her home

[00:13:14] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah,

[00:13:15] Cheri Carandanis: this seems inhumane, this baby, but it’s war, right?

[00:13:19] Scott DeLuzio: it is. Yeah.

[00:13:20] Cheri Carandanis: you, you can’t, you can’t pick people based on life circumstances, just if you’re, if you’re in the military, you’re in the military.

[00:13:27] Scott DeLuzio: Yep.

[00:13:28] Cheri Carandanis: she did great,

[00:13:29] Scott DeLuzio: Great.

[00:13:30] Cheri Carandanis: home reunited with her, with her baby and her husband.

[00:13:33] And but. I, I got back and I just was like, I don’t think I can do that. I don’t think I, I, I, I, maybe I could, but I didn’t want to.

[00:13:41] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.

[00:13:42] Cheri Carandanis: do that. And so there was a lot of stop-loss going on at the time. And I found a window, there was like this two week window they lifted it on my A FSC and I did get out

[00:13:52] Scott DeLuzio: Okay.

[00:13:54] Cheri Carandanis: I separated and that was really bittersweet for

[00:13:56] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.

[00:13:57] Cheri Carandanis: I, I did love, I did love being in the [00:14:00] military.

[00:14:00] Obviously growing up in the military, it’s just in me, it’s in my blood. So leaving that community was hard, but I was looking forward to, okay, my next, my next part of life. A month after resign or getting out of the military and separating, we got pregnant

[00:14:16] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.

[00:14:16] Cheri Carandanis: with our first son

[00:14:17] Scott DeLuzio: Good timing, right?

[00:14:18] Cheri Carandanis: life began

[00:14:19] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.

[00:14:20] Cheri Carandanis: and didn’t stop. so, we had our son and I was still, so I was stationed at Travis Air Force Base at the time. And so we are still in California and we decided to move to Portland, Oregon, which is where we’re at now. That’s where my husband’s family and they are a big fat Greek family. And so that movie is real. That is my life and it’s amazing

[00:14:42] Scott DeLuzio: Right.

[00:14:43] Cheri Carandanis: Yeah. I love, I love our family. And so, we started our family here, had our a second son and I did I kind of got felt burnt out of the ICU scene,

[00:14:52] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.

[00:14:53] Cheri Carandanis: adrenaline flight nursing. It, it just felt like a lot. And, I fell into hospice nursing, which I [00:15:00] never thought I would, but I went on an interview and I, I was very honest with the interviewer and I said, here, I’m here to practice my interviewing skills, because in the military, you don’t interview for jobs,

[00:15:12] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.

[00:15:13] Cheri Carandanis: assigned to jobs. And so I didn’t know how to interview as a nurse. And so I was just doing these interviews for fun, like, not for fun, but to learn how

[00:15:21] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.

[00:15:21] Cheri Carandanis: interview. And she said, okay, so you’re not interested in being a hospice nurse? I was like, oh, I’m an ICU nurse. You know, I, I, I wanna do something, maybe pack you something a little, you know, something along those lines, but a little less crazy. And interviewed me. She said, I think you’d be a fantastic hospice nurse. And so I was like, well. You are offering me a job. And she said, yeah. I’m like, what do I have? I got to lose. Let’s do this. And I stayed in for 15 years doing that.

[00:15:46] Scott DeLuzio: Oh, wow. Wow.

[00:15:47] Cheri Carandanis: I loved it. I loved it. It, it’s, it’s so sacred, you

[00:15:52] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.

[00:15:53] Cheri Carandanis: invited into someone’s life at that time when they’re dying in with their family and their friends and their loved ones.

[00:15:58] And it was just a [00:16:00] really sacred time. And I, it just made me see the art of nursing so much clearer and just really tapped into that part of me that, that I loved. So I got my master’s degree, thank God for the GI Bill.

[00:16:12] Scott DeLuzio: Right.

[00:16:13] Cheri Carandanis: Got my net master’s degree nursing leadership, and I became hospice nurse manager. And so I loved taking care of the nurses which was also another honor for me to, to be able to do and kind of skating along through life and raising our family here. And then in 2019, I suffered two separate brain injuries, six months

[00:16:33] Scott DeLuzio: Oh wow.

[00:16:34] Cheri Carandanis: other. And I really thought, okay, these are kind of concussive type, you know, brain injuries, it’ll be fine, I’ll just rehab. As the months went on and as the years went on, I realized it wasn’t going to be that simple. And so, in 2020 I had to retire my nursing

[00:16:52] Scott DeLuzio: Hmm,

[00:16:54] Cheri Carandanis: Which was heartbreaking

[00:16:55] Scott DeLuzio: sure.

[00:16:56] Cheri Carandanis: who I was. It’s my identity. You know, people, Cherie, the [00:17:00] nurse, if they, they’d call me all the time, can you look at this rash?

[00:17:03] And with

[00:17:04] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.

[00:17:04] Cheri Carandanis: of like, FaceTime, that was next level, take a look at this thing in my

[00:17:09] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Right?

[00:17:11] Cheri Carandanis: I don’t wanna see that. And so that, that was a devastating blow,

[00:17:16] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.

[00:17:17] Cheri Carandanis: not only lose my career and have to set that aside, but to lose, like myself in brain injury. I thought I understood brain injury being a nurse. I had no idea. I

[00:17:28] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.

[00:17:29] Cheri Carandanis: clue what that experience was gonna be like. And it, it’s devastating. You know, some people are like, oh, it’s, it’s just a concussion. That can be devastating. It can be devastating. And so I had to really figure out, okay, what I’ve lost cognitively, physically, and then what can I build from here?

[00:17:49] Like what, what’s left? And I felt like not much was left. But I had a left sided brain injury, mostly was the left side. And so the doctors were saying, [00:18:00] you really need to get into the right side of your brain you need to fire that up. And I’m like, what does that mean in real life? Like, what does that mean?

[00:18:08] They’re like creativity, presence, meditation.

[00:18:11] Scott DeLuzio: Okay.

[00:18:12] Cheri Carandanis: in a butt load of trouble. Like is not where I live.

[00:18:17] Scott DeLuzio: Sure. Mm-hmm.

[00:18:18] Cheri Carandanis: there. and so this, this doctor’s like just get like a adult coloring book, like a mandala coloring book and, and just start there. And so I did. I was very, you know, compliant patient, and I colored for 10 minutes and hated every second of it.

[00:18:34] I hated it. I was like, this is not my life. This is not my future. There’s gotta be something else. So I ripped up the coloring book and I threw it away. I was so angry, so disappointed. But then one day I was watching YouTube and I saw this woman painting on a large canvas abstractly,

[00:18:54] Scott DeLuzio: Mm.

[00:18:55] Cheri Carandanis: and something in me recognized that she wasn’t painting a [00:19:00] landscape, a a dog. She was painting her feelings, like her feelings were ending up on

[00:19:06] Scott DeLuzio: Kylie.

[00:19:06] Cheri Carandanis: And something just lit something up in me, like, I can do that. I have a lot of feelings. A lot of feelings, and I wanna get ’em out. so I went down, my dad had just bought a large, big screen TV and so I cut the cardboard outta it

[00:19:23] Scott DeLuzio: Yes.

[00:19:24] Cheri Carandanis: to make a canvas.

[00:19:25] ‘ cause

[00:19:25] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.

[00:19:25] Cheri Carandanis: canvas is expensive. What if this goes wrong? I don’t wanna spend money on a canvas. So I brought the cardboard home, got the the tempura paints out that my kids had from school,

[00:19:34] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.

[00:19:35] Cheri Carandanis: and I just painted on that thing and something unlocked. I don’t know, I, to this day, I don’t know, I, I’m so grateful for that moment that I just did something to me at the time, seems silly. Like, ah, I’m just gonna go paint on this piece of cardboard just ’cause I’m bored and I’m frustrated and I’m mad. But in doing that, something unlocked in me. And so, I just kept [00:20:00] doing it. I kept doing more and I kept watching free YouTube channels that would teach people how to paint, how to paint abstract, understanding what abstract

[00:20:09] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.

[00:20:10] Cheri Carandanis: And then at the time, I was doing a lot of soul work. ’cause I’d lost, I feel like I lost my soul. Like I was grieving myself, but I was still alive. Like my body’s still alive, my mind is still alive, but I was grieving myself, like, I missed the old Cherie, I want her back. And little did I know that today, I’m so grateful for that brain injury because I don’t want that Cherie back.

[00:20:32] She’s still a part of me. But what I am today is a thousand times better than what I was. It, it’s my experience of life, my experience of of connection with people is like next level. And so I’m, I’m grateful now. I had to get through some shit to get there, but.

[00:20:51] Scott DeLuzio: Sure. Well, you, you know, it’s, it’s interesting because a lot of us go through transitions of one sort or or another [00:21:00] where we feel like we’re losing an identity. It could even just be leaving the military where, you know, we were. Sergeant so-and-so, or we were captain or, or major or whatever our rank was.

[00:21:10] We were, that was who we identified as. And, and that’s, that’s who we were. And then all of a sudden it’s kinda like a light switch going off, right? Where, where now you take off the uniform and you’re no longer that person anymore. And you don’t have that responsibility. You don’t have that team that you’re working with.

[00:21:27] You don’t have any of that support there for you. And and that, that that identity is just gone. And then when you have so that, I mean, technically it’s a career change, but it’s really an identity change too. But but when you have this other career change, right, where you identified as a nurse and, and this was who you were and, and what you’re all about, and then you get to a point where you can’t do it anymore based on this, this injury.

[00:21:55] And then. Now what? You know, and it, it’s kind of, I gotta imagine it’s just this [00:22:00] empty feeling where you’re like,

[00:22:01] Cheri Carandanis: a grieving,

[00:22:02] Scott DeLuzio: yeah, yeah,

[00:22:03] Cheri Carandanis: and, and there’s so much, you know, all the steps of grieving, right? But anger

[00:22:07] Scott DeLuzio: yeah.

[00:22:07] Cheri Carandanis: much anger and bitterness and resentment. Like, why, why me? Why did this happen? And I remember feeling a little bit like that when I’d come home from deployment because I, I don’t know, I thought, I don’t know why I thought this, but I thought that when we come home, the team would get together and there would be like this or something like, help us process it and talk about it. No, you just go right back to

[00:22:34] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.

[00:22:35] Cheri Carandanis: you are no longer deployed, and you are no longer sleeping next to these people you’ve been sleeping next to for nine months. Like just back to

[00:22:41] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.

[00:22:43] Cheri Carandanis: I, I just, I, I felt so jarred, like, ugh. I remember my marriage felt a little like, ooh. Like, I know I’m married to you and you’re my husband, but I literally lived with these people in a tent for nine months.

[00:22:56] Like we, we lived together.

[00:22:58] Scott DeLuzio: Huh. Yeah. [00:23:00] And, and then just trying to figure out your, your place in the world. Whe whether it’s in your, your own family, in your own home, and trying to figure out, because, you know, they, the, the folks that are left back home, they’re figuring out life without you. Not that they’re not thinking about you, that they don’t care about you, but they,

[00:23:16] Cheri Carandanis: they had to move, move forward

[00:23:18] Scott DeLuzio: they, they ate all their meals without you.

[00:23:20] They, they you know, watch television without you. They, they went out for ice cream without you, you know, all the things that, that people do. They, they we’re doing all those things without you, and then now you’re back, and then all of a sudden, we gotta fit this person back into this, this world.

[00:23:38] Cheri Carandanis: no one is really who they were when you left. Right? Your family and friends, they had to grow,

[00:23:44] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.

[00:23:44] Cheri Carandanis: the world was changing. And then obviously when we come back, we’re not the

[00:23:48] Scott DeLuzio: Sure

[00:23:49] Cheri Carandanis: seen some things. We’ve experienced some things where we’re not the same person, so it’s a really tough transition.

[00:23:56] Scott DeLuzio: it is. Yeah. And, and you’re not growing together. I guess to your point is, is you’re [00:24:00] not, you know, when you’re experiencing the same things and you’re doing a lot of the stuff together, you kind of grow together and, and you kind of move in the same direction. But when you’re experiencing combat, that’s whoa, whoa.

[00:24:09] That’s a different kind of growth. And when you’re experiencing, you know, fun stuff at home and or, or even the stressful stuff at home, the, the, the, the bills that need to get paid, the kids that need to get picked up from soccer practice or whatever, like all those things, it kind of move you in separate directions.

[00:24:23] And then, so now we gotta come back in the middle somewhere and, and meet up and figure out how do we, how do we piece all this together? You know, and then, you know, then add on, on top of it something like what you went through with, with a brain injury. And then now, okay, how do we, how do we handle this?

[00:24:39] What, what are the new expectations of how, like who’s gonna take care of what, you know, what are you able to take care of? What is somebody else going to be expected to take care of? Because maybe some of the limitations that might be there, i I, you know, I don’t know all the details, but, you know, each, each injury or, or illness or whatever is gonna have their, their own unique set of [00:25:00] questions that, that have to get asked like that.

[00:25:01] But but you found it seems like, I, I don’t know if it’s necessarily healing is the right word, but you found some, some peace, at least through the artwork that you’ve been doing, right?

[00:25:12] Cheri Carandanis: Yes. And healing is the right word. I, I inadvertently, I, so I would go every few months to my the functional neurologist and he would do testing on my brain. And some point he’s like, what are you, what are you doing? Things are getting better. Like, what are you doing? And I told, I’m p and I thought he would laugh at me, like, oh my God. But he goes, well, what do you mean you’re painting? I said, I have big canvases and I just throw a lot of paint at it. And he’s like, wow. So as when I described my process to him, he’s like, Cher, you’ve been rehabbing your brain because it’s standing there. Is balance, vestibular, you know, rehab, using my right arm to paint.

[00:25:51] ’cause I am right-handed was firing up things in the left that had been damaged. Choosing, like, one thing that really I [00:26:00] struggled with a lot with brain injury was making decisions. And I was a decisive person. Like, I, I didn’t shy away from decisions. Like I love making decisions. I was firm in them, but after brain injury, I couldn’t choose what to eat.

[00:26:13] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.

[00:26:14] Cheri Carandanis: choose what to wear. I, if someone was like, choose a color, I’d be like, Nope. I, I don’t know why, but I couldn’t choose is that part of my brain that was affected. And so he said, you choosing, he goes, how do you choose colors? I said, I don’t, I feel colors.

[00:26:29] Scott DeLuzio: Huh?

[00:26:30] Cheri Carandanis: what do you mean you feel color?

[00:26:31] I said, I look at my paints I am drawn to how a color makes me feel. And I choose that. I don’t choose like, oh, I wanna paint orange today or blue. I’m like, I feel angry today. Red, black, orange,

[00:26:45] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.

[00:26:46] Cheri Carandanis: And so then that’s how I was choosing my color. He goes, well, that was helping you start making decisions again, just starting to ramp that up.

[00:26:55] Except I was doing it in a different framework, you know? I wasn’t doing it like [00:27:00] cognitively and intellectually, I was sinking down more into my

[00:27:04] Scott DeLuzio: Mm.

[00:27:04] Cheri Carandanis: and in my soul and feeling things. And so that’s, how I do things now. I don’t really want to go up in my head. I was so in my head for my whole life.

[00:27:14] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah,

[00:27:15] Cheri Carandanis: I didn’t know it, but I was, and now sinking down in your soul and in your, your spirit and just trying to connect with that, it’s, it’s a place now where it’s, it’s intuitive and that’s why the, the type of painting I do is called intuitive abstract painting, because when I approach a, a blank canvas, I have no idea. What it’s gonna look like. I have no outcome in mind. I just start and I react, and I, and I flow. And that is so foreign to anything. I mean, nursing is very, I mean, you better follow the rules. You

[00:27:48] Scott DeLuzio: sure.

[00:27:48] Cheri Carandanis: in the box or you’re gonna kill somebody.

[00:27:50] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.

[00:27:50] Cheri Carandanis: so, you know, the roles are very defined.

[00:27:53] Everything is so defined and structured, which is what I loved. You know, there was not a lot of questioning and, [00:28:00] you know, it’s, it was very structured. But my life now is so unstructured, so unstructured. But that’s, I I find so much joy in

[00:28:10] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.

[00:28:10] Cheri Carandanis: I didn’t see it coming. I really didn’t. I, I thought I would just go back to the way I was somehow. But I didn’t. And now I felt like, okay, I was brave enough to try and now I’m just like, oh, why didn’t I do this when I was five?

[00:28:25] Scott DeLuzio: Sure, sure. And when, when you have a, such a, a sudden change like what you e experienced because this was, you know, you had an injury and then you know, you kind of realize, gee, I don’t think I can keep doing the things that I had been doing, and. Instead of fighting it and be like, well, no, I’m gonna be stubborn.

[00:28:46] I’m just gonna, I’m gonna keep doing it and I’m gonna keep doing it. And even though you maybe couldn’t do it, and, and you’re gonna just try to fit a square peg through a round hole and, and, and it’s not gonna work out. Right. And then to your point, like you were saying before, you could end up hurting someone or killing someone if you’re [00:29:00] not, you know, in, in the right, right place and you’re not doing the right things and all, all that.

[00:29:04] And if, if your brain’s not functioning the way it needs to, that could cause some problems for somebody else, which is the last thing. I know someone like yourself or you know, anyone in the, the nursing or or medical field that, yeah, you, you, you don’t want to hurt anybody. And so, you know, sometimes you have to kind of take yourself out of this and say, look, is, is this person objectively?

[00:29:22] Is this person talking about yourself? Is this the right person for this job? And I guess, you know, in, in certain circumstances the answer might be no. Then it’s, it’s really just a matter of figuring out, okay, well if I’m not the right person for that job anymore, well what, what am I the right person for?

[00:29:38] And what can I do? I think you, you had mentioned that earlier, it’s like, let’s take stock of what it is that you can do. And, you know, you can, you can look at colors, you can feel things, you can, you can put, make those colors, go onto a canvas. And now when, when you start painting, do you, do you have a, an, an object that you’re trying to paint in mind when you start?

[00:29:59] Or [00:30:00] is it like a blank slate and you’re just looking at it and you just start throwing stuff up there until you figure out what it’s gonna be?

[00:30:06] Cheri Carandanis: Yeah. It reveals itself,

[00:30:07] Scott DeLuzio: Okay.

[00:30:08] Cheri Carandanis: best way I can explain it is it reveals itself and I just. Like, I just move. That’s what I do. I just move. I put paint, I use, I use all kinds of mark making tools. I use spray paint. A lot of my stuff will kind of start to lean graffiti.

[00:30:25] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm. Right.

[00:30:26] Cheri Carandanis: but I love it. love graffiti. And so I think it’s just, it, it’s layers and layers. A lot of my work, the way it started, you can’t even see in the end product how it started.

[00:30:38] Scott DeLuzio: Okay.

[00:30:39] Cheri Carandanis: I do believe that the energy of whatever was there is still there. And it adds to all of the layers that I’m top. Like a lot of my paintings will be between 10 and 15 layers of paint

[00:30:50] Scott DeLuzio: Okay.

[00:30:51] Cheri Carandanis: have gone on.

[00:30:52] And you know, the question that I’d always have to ask myself is, when is it done? Well, that’s a hard question to answer when it’s abstract. You know, when you’re [00:31:00] painting a house, you know, something looks like a house. You’re like, well, it’s a house. Good job. But when it’s abstract, you’re like.

[00:31:06] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.

[00:31:07] Cheri Carandanis: it, it could never be finished.

[00:31:08] But that’s what I learned about myself, about my intuition of when I, when I’m knowing, and when you were talking about, you know, having that stubbornness of like, I’m gonna, I’m just gonna do it. I’m gonna just power through it and not, you know, and then trying to find something new, like in that story arc was a lot of, yes, I was stubborn as you can imagine,

[00:31:30] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.

[00:31:31] Cheri Carandanis: a nurse and being military minded and, you know, I, I was very stubborn and very bitter and angry about that.

[00:31:38] And so there was this time where I did try the round peg into the square or

[00:31:44] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Yep.

[00:31:45] Cheri Carandanis: And then there was that time where I didn’t find painting right away. And there was this dark depression that sets in because you feel like. I’m not good for anything. Like the thing that I thought I was good at and the thing I [00:32:00] had to offer, the world is gone now, now I’m nothing like what, what your, your mind just goes there so easily, you know,

[00:32:09] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.

[00:32:09] Cheri Carandanis: To devalue and to be negative about ourselves.

[00:32:12] And then it, it is a fight for your life. It is a fight for your life to get back and say, no, I have value.

[00:32:18] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.

[00:32:19] Cheri Carandanis: I, I have value innately just being here. Brain damaged, broken. I still have value. I just want purpose. Now.

[00:32:29] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.

[00:32:29] Cheri Carandanis: I need to find my purpose. And so little did I know that over years of fighting those battles and, and, and claiming my space now, it’s that I’m still a healer, not as a nurse. But through creativity and art, you know, bringing healing to people through my art and, and sharing with people that creativity does bring healing because we are creative beings. It doesn’t have to be art. It doesn’t have to be dance, doesn’t have to be writing a book. It could be having [00:33:00] conversations like we’re having right now is creative,

[00:33:02] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.

[00:33:03] Cheri Carandanis: and so we are creative beings and we need to lean into that because I think our society just really takes us away from being creative anymore. know? It’s done for us in essence, you know?

[00:33:14] Scott DeLuzio: that’s true. Yeah. And they, and they I mean, even just looking at, you know, buildings that are, that are around, if you look in an old building, you can look at it and say, oh, it has some character that has some, you know, there’s, there’s something to it. You could tell maybe the time period that it was built and.

[00:33:27] You drive by a building that was built in the last, you know, couple years and it’s looks like a box and there’s, there’s nothing to it. And Exactly. And, and so it’s, I, I don’t know, like, I don’t know, I suppose that’s a style, but it, it’s kind of a bland style. It’s not really, not really doing it for me, but but you’re right.

[00:33:47] You know, there, there’s a lot of creativity to be had in, in, like you said, it’s not just art. It could be, you know, it could be music, it could be dance, it could be writing, it could be conversations, it can be gardening for, you know, you could,

[00:33:59] Cheri Carandanis: dress, [00:34:00] how you present

[00:34:00] Scott DeLuzio: sure.

[00:34:01] Cheri Carandanis: I mean, that’s creative, you

[00:34:03] Scott DeLuzio: Uh, there’s so many different things out there.

[00:34:05] And you know, when, when you discover what that thing is for you that allows you to express yourself or to just be creative in a way that maybe you hadn’t been before it opens up this whole new world of, of possibilities for you, right.

[00:34:20] Cheri Carandanis: It blows your mind. does, it blows your mind to get to. I just see the world through different lens.

[00:34:29] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.

[00:34:30] Cheri Carandanis: I, I, it’s so much more open. It’s so much more, collaboration. Like we are all so connected. We are all having the same experience in different colors. You

[00:34:42] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.

[00:34:42] Cheri Carandanis: we all have grief, we all have pain, we all have mi.

[00:34:46] I mean, there’s a, there’s a story in my life that, my father, who I was very close to, because we shared, you know, we just shared kindred spirits with each other. And he was a fixer. And I was the girl that would hold the flashlight and hand him the [00:35:00] tools as he was fixing everything. And I just, we had a great relationship. And in 2023, they moved, they moved here like eight years ago, my mom and dad to be close to, to me and my family. And they took up RVing and my dad loved fishing. Never caught a damn fish, but he loved fishing. Like he just loved it. so, they took their R RV and in 2023 they took it up to Washington, the Washington coast, and he went out fishing. And tragically a rogue sneaker wave

[00:35:35] Scott DeLuzio: Oh.

[00:35:35] Cheri Carandanis: just took him off the jetty, took him off the jetty and killed him, and he was lost at sea. And the Coast Guard, the, the Sheriff’s Department, they were all out in their boats and helicopters looking for him, looking for him, and they couldn’t recover his body.

[00:35:51] And by the time I got there to be with my mom you know, I was about 10 minutes away from her and there was some commotion. She was on the phone with [00:36:00] me and there was this commotion and then the phone cut out. She was on the beach. Long story short, two sea lions brought my father’s body to the beach

[00:36:09] Scott DeLuzio: Oh

[00:36:10] Cheri Carandanis: mom was sitting because she would not leave the beach.

[00:36:12] The police couldn’t get her to leave because she’s like, how can I leave? Like, this is where he was.

[00:36:17] Scott DeLuzio: yeah. Right.

[00:36:18] Cheri Carandanis: can’t leave without him. And it was about seven hours after he went missing. two ceiling. Then my mom thought he was swimming ’cause she saw him in the water. She goes, oh my God, he survived. He’s swimming to me. And she thought he was, you know, swimming and when as it got close, she tried to go in the water and she can’t swim.

[00:36:36] Scott DeLuzio: Hmm.

[00:36:37] Cheri Carandanis: And so the chaplain from the police department pulled her out and said, it’s too dangerous. I’ll go get him and I’ll help him. as he went in the water, she was able to back up and look.

[00:36:47] And that’s when she saw it wasn’t his arms moving, it was two sea lions, one by each arm. And it’s so Like it’s so cra it sounds like a Bible story,

[00:36:58] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Yeah,

[00:36:59] Cheri Carandanis: in the Old [00:37:00] Testament,

[00:37:00] Scott DeLuzio: sure.

[00:37:00] Cheri Carandanis: it’s such a, but come on,

[00:37:04] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.

[00:37:04] Cheri Carandanis: like that’s the life we’re living. And as much as I hate that my father’s not with me, and as much as I hate that he was taken so early in my opinion, but to have that miracle

[00:37:17] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.

[00:37:19] Cheri Carandanis: okay, life is so much bigger. It’s so much bigger than what we see or understand.

[00:37:25] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Yeah. And, and you know, there, there’s, you know, some, I guess a little silver lining that, that can come through all of that because you know, obviously nobody wants any of that kind of situation to happen. But at, at least you have some closure. You, you know, what happened where, where he is. It’s not like he’s just a drift out in sea and you never know, you know, is he somewhere in the Pacific or did he, you know, what happened?

[00:37:51] You know? And so, so you have that, that closure at least. And

[00:37:55] Cheri Carandanis: to say goodbye to him one more

[00:37:57] Scott DeLuzio: yeah.

[00:37:58] Cheri Carandanis: him, you know, and [00:38:00] the full military honors and bury. I mean, it

[00:38:02] Scott DeLuzio: That’s right.

[00:38:03] Cheri Carandanis: like, wow. And not that we couldn’t have done that, but just to know he was there.

[00:38:08] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Yeah.

[00:38:09] Cheri Carandanis: I think it would’ve, I mean, and the thing is, I don’t know why it happened for us. There are people that are lost to sea all the

[00:38:16] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.

[00:38:16] Cheri Carandanis: and children, and, you know, I don’t know why that happened for us, but it did bring so much comfort and it was a silver lining.

[00:38:26] It, it was like, gosh, it was the, this awesome awfulness.

[00:38:30] Scott DeLuzio: Right.

[00:38:31] Cheri Carandanis: know? It was just this awesomely awful.

[00:38:34] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.

[00:38:34] Cheri Carandanis: But yeah, and, and so that, that really, that’s what kind of sparked in me, like, I need to lean into life.

[00:38:42] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.

[00:38:43] Cheri Carandanis: I can’t keep resisting what life’s trying to do for me and what I believe God is trying to bring into my life.

[00:38:49] And my dad wanted me to start a business. And I, I mean, I think he liked my art because it was mine and I was his daughter and he liked everything I did. But I think he saw all the paintings piling up in my house and he felt for my [00:39:00] husband, he’s like, you need to sell. Some of it’s like, get rid of it or give it away or

[00:39:05] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.

[00:39:06] Cheri Carandanis: And so it was about two months after he died that I was like, I can’t sit around and just he was here. Like, that’s not gonna do

[00:39:14] Scott DeLuzio: Right?

[00:39:14] Cheri Carandanis: And so that’s when I started Karen, Dennis, fine Art, and started a business and, and actually painting you know, for others. And it, it’s just been a joy. It’s brought a lot of joy.

[00:39:28] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. And that I think is, is good. I mean, obviously to save your husband a little bit and, and get some of the, the, the piles out, out of the house. But but, but you know, also, you know, it, it gives more of a, a sense of purpose too. It’s like, Hey, this is, this is now my business. This is what I’m doing.

[00:39:45] You know, this is my, my thing now. And yeah, of course.

[00:39:50] Cheri Carandanis: could own a business? Like I didn’t know I could start a business or I didn’t know anything about any of it.

[00:39:56] Scott DeLuzio: And, and why not? And, and why not? Why, [00:40:00] why not? You know, someone who has something of value, you know, those, those artwork is, is valuable to, to certain people and they would like to, to buy it for, whether it’s for their home or for their business or, or whatever it is that they want it for. And so there’s value there.

[00:40:15] So why not get compensated for that value? You know, you’re, you’re, you’re creating this stuff anyways. And so I, I think the reason why I’m, I’m kind of going over that and, and bringing that up is because there are probably some folks who are listening to this, who are doing things that are, that they just consider like a hobby or a, you know, side thing that they, they’re doing.

[00:40:36] And they really love it. But it’s like, oh, but I, I gotta go to work because I gotta pay the bills. I gotta be able to afford the, you know, I, I gotta be able to afford the canvases and the paint and the, the brushes and all the other things that, that go into you know, the, the artwork like you’re, you’re doing those things, like you said, are, they’re not cheap.

[00:40:53] So you ha gotta get a job to pay for that stuff somehow. Why not have a job that pays for it [00:41:00] by just kind of, having people pay for you to do those things, you know, what it pays for itself. Exactly. So, you know, there, there are things out there I’m sure that, that some of the listeners are, are, are probably thinking to themselves about something that they do anyways because they enjoy it, figure out a way to make money from it.

[00:41:18] You know?

[00:41:18] Cheri Carandanis: there isn’t a better time because for creatives. gatekeepers aren’t in place

[00:41:25] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.

[00:41:26] Cheri Carandanis: You know, with the internet, I, I thought, oh, when I start a business, that’s gonna be hard ’cause I’m just

[00:41:32] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.

[00:41:32] Cheri Carandanis: things like numbers and accounting and all that. And that’s just, that’s a part of it.

[00:41:37] But it’s, that’s a small part for me. ’cause I don’t pay attention. Like I just do what I need to do for legal reasons. But the connection, because I don’t have to be represented by a gallery. I don’t have to prove to somebody that I’m a professional artist. If I can get on Instagram, and that is where I’ve connected with people. The [00:42:00] world is so wide open,

[00:42:01] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah,

[00:42:02] Cheri Carandanis: can sell your stuff. I mean, there isn’t a better time. It’s, it’s really built for it. This social media, it’s built for connection and creatives to get their, their, their products out there.

[00:42:16] Scott DeLuzio: And, and quite frankly, if you, if you’re limiting, limiting yourself to a local gallery that you’re, you’re putting your stuff in, you’re limiting the market of people who are gonna be willing to, to purchase that stuff. Right. To,

[00:42:27] Cheri Carandanis: in Europe and in Asia and

[00:42:30] Scott DeLuzio: yeah.

[00:42:30] Cheri Carandanis: all over the world that when they see what you’re offering, they’re gonna be like, I love it.

[00:42:35] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, sure, sure.

[00:42:36] Cheri Carandanis: that. You know? And so if you’re just limiting yourself to the little town that you’re in, I would be screwed. I

[00:42:42] Scott DeLuzio: sure.

[00:42:42] Cheri Carandanis: I’m not gonna sell a lot here,

[00:42:45] Scott DeLuzio: Right.

[00:42:46] Cheri Carandanis: if you open yourself up and it’s, I’m not saying it’s easy, it’s, it’s, it’s hard.

[00:42:50] You’re very vulnerable, you know, putting yourself out there sharing maybe your story. It is vulnerable. But the reward for being [00:43:00] brave, it, it’s, it’s so compounded

[00:43:04] Scott DeLuzio: That’s,

[00:43:05] Cheri Carandanis: makes your life so much richer.

[00:43:07] Scott DeLuzio: yeah. No, and, and I, I think when, when you, you look at it like that, like there, there’s, there’s that reward. It’s, it’s more than just a financial reward of, you know, making money from selling a, you know, whatever it is that, that creative piece that someone might be making. But there, there’s a lot more to it in, in terms of the just kind of fulfillment that you, you’ve, you get from, from that, right.

[00:43:27] Now it, there’s a lot of, we talked a lot about the, the, the highlights, the good stuff from, from all of this. I gotta imagine there are some challenges along the way as well. Right. What were some, what was the, maybe the most challenging part of, of this whole journey for you? Whe whether it be getting into the, the artwork, starting the business, or you know, any of the stuff that you, what was kind of like the most challenging piece for you?

[00:43:49] Cheri Carandanis: I think the most challenging piece for me was believing in myself.

[00:43:55] Scott DeLuzio: Hmm. Okay.

[00:43:57] Cheri Carandanis: as a nurse, you are [00:44:00] validated and rewarded for your performance. You’re either a good nurse or crappy nurse, and I was a good nurse and I prided myself in the care that I provided to my patients. And when you are a creative and you start your own business, so many doubts, so many limiting beliefs, so much talk, that negative self-talk comes in.

[00:44:27] Like, who are you to say you’re an artist now? Like, there’s no degree. I mean, I could have gotten a, gotten a degree, but I didn’t wanna go back to school

[00:44:34] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.

[00:44:36] Cheri Carandanis: for art. And I didn’t know how that would serve me because I was learning art by doing it.

[00:44:41] Scott DeLuzio: Right?

[00:44:42] Cheri Carandanis: And hiring art, you know, art teachers. And so I didn’t have to, I didn’t have the, the letters behind my name or the. rank, you know,

[00:44:53] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.

[00:44:53] Cheri Carandanis: name. And so it took a, the hardest part was for Cherie to [00:45:00] meet Cherie, like who I truly am and my intuition. And that takes time because if you wanna trust your intuition, just like if you wanna trust your significant other, you have to spend time with them

[00:45:11] Scott DeLuzio: Sure. Yep.

[00:45:13] Cheri Carandanis: Well, that goes for us too. So for me to trust my intuition, if I’m an intuitive artist, I had to spend time with me. And that sucks. it just sucked at the beginning because I wasn’t good at it. I didn’t feel comfortable doing it. It felt woo to

[00:45:29] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.

[00:45:30] Cheri Carandanis: I’m getting a little woo. But I knew that if I didn’t go inward and really be able to hype myself up, who is gonna want what I have to offer? Who if I can’t believe it myself, what am I offering? Just some paint on a canvas. But what I’m wanting to offer is energy on a canvas, you know, to move people and to make them ask questions and make them, you know, wonder why isn’t this [00:46:00] beautiful? It’s kind of ugly, but I love it. You know, it’s like those are the kind of things that I want to draw out and people, ’cause that’s what I needed to draw out of myself.

[00:46:08] So I think the hardest part for me was believing in

[00:46:11] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.

[00:46:12] Cheri Carandanis: and really trying to build that confidence to know that I’m not perfect, but what I have to offer is valuable

[00:46:21] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.

[00:46:22] Cheri Carandanis: I’m a human being and we all have value.

[00:46:25] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.

[00:46:26] Cheri Carandanis: have value, and, and it’s, I, I think too, not having an expectation of who it’s gonna connect with. Because I think I tried to think, oh, these rich people have these giant houses or big business buildings or hospitals, they’re gonna come knocking on my door.

[00:46:43] Scott DeLuzio: Right?

[00:46:44] Cheri Carandanis: my art. And it’s the normal person in my neighborhood that just can’t live without it. That puts it in their house. And that is so meaningful to me.

[00:46:53] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.

[00:46:53] Cheri Carandanis: know, that I, we can’t project who we’re gonna connect with, you know, with [00:47:00] whatever we do. We just have to be open. And that’s the hard part was being open.

[00:47:04] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. That is, that is hard. And, and having that confidence in yourself. I know, I mean, we’re our own worst enemy sometimes when it comes to that kind of thing. And, and we can beat ourselves up and, and tell ourselves a thousand different reasons why we’re not good enough, smart enough, capable enough, whatever the, whatever enough.

[00:47:22] And when you are doing that to yourself, you start to believe it, and then you keep doing it, and then you.

[00:47:30] Cheri Carandanis: cycle. Yeah,

[00:47:32] Scott DeLuzio: And you go down this rabbit hole and, and it’s at some point you look up and it’s like, how do I get this far down and, and how, and how do I get out? And it, that, that becomes difficult. So, so when you, when you just kind of flip that switch and be like, Hey, no, like I, I do have value.

[00:47:49] This is, this is something valuable. Is it for everybody? No, it’s not. You know, and you know, someone, someone might look at it and, and, and think no. Like, absolutely this is not, this is not for [00:48:00] me. Okay, good. No problem. Move on. And, and we’ll, we’ll find somebody else and then somebody else will look at it and be the same exact piece.

[00:48:07] They’ll look at it and be like, this is beautiful and I want this, and I, I, you know, how just take my money and, and you know, let’s go. So, and, and I thi I think it’s important to realize that you’re not, no matter what it is that you do, especially in a creative field, you’re not, you’re not gonna be everything to everybody.

[00:48:23] And if you are, then you’re kind of nothing to anybody. And Yeah, exactly.

[00:48:28] Cheri Carandanis: kind of vanilla

[00:48:29] That’s not what you want.

[00:48:31] Scott DeLuzio: You, you want to have your own, your own flavor.

[00:48:34] Cheri Carandanis: you know, you wanna disrupt a little bit and, and, I don’t know, just, just pull emotion and, and, and, and just humanness out of people instead of us being robots and just, you know, buying art at Hobby Lobby,

[00:48:49] Scott DeLuzio: Right.

[00:48:50] Cheri Carandanis: you can, but does that art have fire in it?

[00:48:54] Does it have, like, does it make, does it punch you in your

[00:48:57] Scott DeLuzio: Sure. Right,

[00:48:59] Cheri Carandanis: It probably doesn’t.

[00:48:59] Scott DeLuzio: [00:49:00] right. And, and to your point, you go go into a place like Hobby Lobby and, and you’ll see 10 of the same paintings just, you know, stacked up on the shelf. Right. One after the other. And so, you know, they’re, they’re selling those in, in bulk. They’ve, they’re manufactured someplace. They’re printed somehow.

[00:49:14] And it, it’s not like someone is standing there with a brush and painting every single one individually. They, I mean, someone probably painted it at some point. They just figured out, you know? Yeah. Originally, and then, then they just kind of.

[00:49:25] Cheri Carandanis: now AI is a great painter, apparently.

[00:49:27] Scott DeLuzio: There you go. Yeah. And so you get, you get all sorts of, of different ways for, for these things to, to be generated.

[00:49:35] But then it’s, again, it’s, it’s robotic, it’s mechanical, it’s, it doesn’t have that, that pasture, that fire that you’re, you’re talking about and

[00:49:43] Cheri Carandanis: our, our, our lives to be filled with texture and flavor, and what makes it so beautiful. It’s, it really is. It’s, it’s beautiful.

[00:49:52] Scott DeLuzio: What advice would you give to maybe another veteran or somebody else who’s out there looking to get into some sort of creative or maybe [00:50:00] non-traditional path in, in their life post-service and, and you know, when they’re trying to rediscover who they are and what they’re, they’re meant for and, and what they’re trying to do, what, what would you give for a little bit of advice there?

[00:50:13] Cheri Carandanis: You know, someone that’s a veteran and someone’s coming outta service, what they have innately is courage. You know, to just be in the, to serve our country in the military takes courage. And so use that, tap into that courage

[00:50:28] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.

[00:50:29] Cheri Carandanis: and be, be brave enough to put yourself out there because it is. Vulnerable. But what I found was I couldn’t do a loan.

[00:50:38] Scott DeLuzio: Hmm,

[00:50:39] Cheri Carandanis: have to find community. And so if you’re, if you like to write, find a writing community if you like it. You know, there’s probably veteran communities that like to write,

[00:50:50] Scott DeLuzio: a hundred percent, yes.

[00:50:51] Cheri Carandanis: and small business owners that are veterans that where you can share the similarities in your life and the struggles that you have in your life. [00:51:00] And that is where I think magic happens, is when you can find a community. It doesn’t have to be big and it can even be

[00:51:05] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.

[00:51:06] Cheri Carandanis: You know, it doesn’t have to be in person, you know? ’cause you can find community in the internet where people come together on Zoom and man, it’s powerful. And so finding a community of people that are doing what you’re doing, it doesn’t have to be exactly your craft, but are wanting to build something and to create something.

[00:51:26] I think that’s so important. then. Believe in yourself and do that inner work. And I know that sounds so like, well, how do you do the inner work? believe there’s a, I think always say this, but I think it’s a Buddhist saying that says, when the student is ready, the teacher appears.

[00:51:41] Scott DeLuzio: Okay.

[00:51:42] Cheri Carandanis: And so I think if you are just ready to learn, how many times are you just like wondering about something and all of a sudden a podcast comes across and they’re talking about that

[00:51:53] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.

[00:51:53] Cheri Carandanis: that you’re wondering about, or you’re watching YouTube and you’re like, oh my gosh, that’s, I mean, I was [00:52:00] watching YouTube when I saw the woman painting that changed my life, that YouTube, would’ve ever, no one’s prepared for that, you know? But I think I was maybe in a posture in life where I was willing to explore.

[00:52:14] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.

[00:52:15] Cheri Carandanis: And that’s why I was looking at artists. Maybe I, I searched artists or whatever. I was looking at people painting, and then that one woman comes across and so she becomes this teacher in my life.

[00:52:25] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.

[00:52:26] Cheri Carandanis: books will come across, you’ll, you’ll be listening and someone’s like, you should read this book.

[00:52:29] It’s titled this. And you’re like, oh my gosh. Or books that you’ve read before and they didn’t resonate. And then you read it again. You’re like, holy crap. Changed my life.

[00:52:41] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.

[00:52:42] Cheri Carandanis: So teachers I think are waiting to appear and we just have to be ready to learn. We have to get into the student role.

[00:52:50] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.

[00:52:51] Cheri Carandanis: And so learning just every, just be a sponge and learn everything you can.

[00:52:55] I learned on the internet how to start a business. I really had no idea how [00:53:00] to start a business, but I learned through YouTube

[00:53:02] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.

[00:53:03] Cheri Carandanis: and then I found there’s books for artists starting businesses. Well, then it’s all laid out. Like I don’t have to recreate the wheel.

[00:53:11] Scott DeLuzio: Right,

[00:53:11] Cheri Carandanis: have to follow that and be open to, okay. I’ve never done this. I’m scared this could be a flop, but what if it’s not?

[00:53:19] Scott DeLuzio: right.

[00:53:20] Cheri Carandanis: What if it’s not?

[00:53:21] Scott DeLuzio: And, and there are so many resources out there these days between the internet you know, just Google searches for different things, or YouTube and ai. Exactly. You know, you got tons of resources and, and information on there. I mean, obviously it’s not a hundred percent perfect, but nothing ev ever is, you know, even if you read a tutorial from someone else who’s gone through this before, it’s not gonna be a hundred percent, you know, relevant to what you’re, you’re doing.

[00:53:45] And so you’re gonna have to use your brain a little bit and try to figure out, you know, what, what tweaks you need to make for your own unique situation. But, you know, to your, your point there, there’s no doctor out there writing a prescription that this is. This is the thing that you need to be [00:54:00] doing.

[00:54:00] You know, you need to be creating artwork and you need to be you know, selling it. And you need to be, you know, that that’s how, how you find purpose or meaning in your life. There’s no doctor out there who’s gonna write that kind of prescription. You kind of have to be receptive, like you said, receptive to this as a possibility and and be receptive to

[00:54:21] Cheri Carandanis: the needle just a little towards

[00:54:23] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah,

[00:54:24] Cheri Carandanis: you don’t have to make this giant jump. Just little needle moves

[00:54:29] Scott DeLuzio: sure.

[00:54:29] Cheri Carandanis: that, and then it starts to unfold. I, I, I mean, life, there’s so much mystery in life that I don’t understand, but life has a way of unfolding. if

[00:54:40] Scott DeLuzio: And,

[00:54:41] Cheri Carandanis: the right mindset and the right intentions.

[00:54:42] Scott DeLuzio: and it, and it progresses in a logical manner too, because if you, if you look back on your journey that we just got done talking about here and, and if. If you started off the journey as I watched a YouTube video on, on how to paint, and I went out and I registered a business and I opened up a art [00:55:00] studio, and I had no paintings to sell or anything, but I started that way.

[00:55:04] I’d be like, are are you outta your mind? Like, what is, what, what are you doing? You know? So, so, no, you don’t, you don’t just dive into it. You, you go test the waters. Yeah. You know, figure it out and, you know, maybe, maybe you do it and you’re like, I enjoyed the process, but the outcome kind of sucked. And I, I don’t think that this is a, a business and Okay, fine.

[00:55:26] There’s nothing wrong with that. You might just do it for the sake of doing it, and that’s fine too. I’m not saying that everybody needs to go out and start a business for whatever it is. It, it could just be be for the sake of doing it, because that’s what, what kind of fills your soul and that, and brings you joy.

[00:55:40] Right, exactly.

[00:55:41] Cheri Carandanis: But if there’s that niggling in your mind, it’s like, could this be a business? Follow

[00:55:46] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.

[00:55:46] Cheri Carandanis: pull that string, see what happens.

[00:55:49] Scott DeLuzio: and it doesn’t mean that you have to go quit your job overnight and, and just dive right into it a hundred percent. Like this could be something that you kind of just do on the side and, and see where it takes you. And if it, [00:56:00] if it gets you to that point where it’s like, Hey, you know what, I’m, I’m actually making more money doing this, and I was doing that my job, then okay, fine.

[00:56:06] Maybe, maybe you want to leave that job and, and dive into this head first. But you know, it, it’s, it’s again, a progression. Right.

[00:56:13] Cheri Carandanis: either or. It’s both and

[00:56:16] Scott DeLuzio: Exactly.

[00:56:17] Cheri Carandanis: a progression and you grow into whatever it’s supposed to

[00:56:20] Scott DeLuzio: Right, right, right. Yeah. I mean, you think about all your life. You, you, you go to grade school, you go to middle school, high school, you, you don’t just like wake up one day in fifth grade and be like, you know what, I’m gonna be a nurse and boom. And now I’m a nurse and I’m just jumping right into it. No, there, there’s a progression that takes place and you gotta go through all of that.

[00:56:39] Cheri Carandanis: times

[00:56:41] Scott DeLuzio: You know?

[00:56:41] Cheri Carandanis: in college,

[00:56:43] Scott DeLuzio: Sure. And there’s nothing wrong with that. I mean, it, it’s kind of part of the, the, the, the whole purpose of it is so that you can try these things out, figure it out. Like, is that what I actually wanna be doing? And, and if it is, great and if it’s not, well good. Now you have time to go figure out what it is and Yes.

[00:56:59] Yeah. Not a [00:57:00] failure. It’s, it’s just a, a, a new piece of information. Exactly. Yep.

[00:57:04] Cheri Carandanis: Absolutely. And, and that makes life so exciting.

[00:57:07] Scott DeLuzio: does,

[00:57:08] Cheri Carandanis: have to have it all figured

[00:57:09] Scott DeLuzio: no.

[00:57:09] Cheri Carandanis: you don’t have to know the how all the

[00:57:11] Scott DeLuzio: Right, right.

[00:57:13] Cheri Carandanis: you just figure it out. And I think there’s something really endearing about someone that’s trying to figure it out.

[00:57:19] Like you wanna link arms with them. Like, alright, I’m gonna help you figure this

[00:57:23] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, sure. Yeah.

[00:57:24] Cheri Carandanis: that’s the community that’s out there. ’cause when I see someone that’s like, I might start a painting this, I’m like, come on girl, let’s go. Let’s meet for coffee. I’m gonna show you. know, it’s, it’s, I don’t know.

[00:57:34] It’s exciting. It’s exciting. It’s very connecting.

[00:57:36] Scott DeLuzio: That’s great. Yeah. For any of the listeners who are interested in kind of fo following along with what you do or learn a little bit more about your artwork, where, where can they go to find out a little bit more information?

[00:57:47] Cheri Carandanis: Yeah, I have a website. It’s karen danis fine art.com. I also have a newsletter through that website, so you’ll see a little popup that says, join my community. So there’s a little newsletter and I talk about my travels, I talk [00:58:00] about art shows, I talk about pieces that I’m working on. Sometimes people like to know the process in the pieces and why they end up the way they do or how they end up the way they do.

[00:58:10] ’cause I never know why. And then I’m pretty active on Instagram and Facebook, and so the handles are at Karen Danis Fine Art. And so, I, I post my pieces there. I, I do te this year has been travel year. ’cause with brain injury I couldn’t travel

[00:58:25] Scott DeLuzio: Hmm.

[00:58:25] Cheri Carandanis: a long time and I missed that. But 2020 five’s been my victory lap for travel.

[00:58:31] And so I’ve been. All over the world. This year we went to Australia and, and, and, and funny enough is none of these trips were planned

[00:58:39] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.

[00:58:40] Cheri Carandanis: January, this January, 2025. I didn’t have, we had one trip planned and it was a cruise with another family and we were all gonna do that. So that was it. But this year I have gone to the south of France, I’ve gone to Greece, I’ve gone to Australia, New York City.

[00:58:55] I mean, it’s been nuts. It’s been nuts. But [00:59:00] this is the unfolding that I’m talking about

[00:59:02] Scott DeLuzio: Sure. Sure.

[00:59:04] Cheri Carandanis: and it doesn’t have to look that spectacular all the time. ’cause it sure doesn’t for me, this year just was for whatever reason, this victory lap, I think of everything that I’d gone through. But yeah, it just happens.

[00:59:17] Life starts to happen and it’s what we, what we

[00:59:21] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.

[00:59:22] Cheri Carandanis: have to be honest with what we want and say it out loud and not be ashamed of that. And say, you know, I want to write a book, and I’m working with a book coach now and I’m writing a book, and

[00:59:32] Scott DeLuzio: There you go.

[00:59:32] Cheri Carandanis: who knows? I’m pulling the string.

[00:59:35] Scott DeLuzio: Well, that’s, that, that’s awesome. And so for the listeners, we’ll have links to all of the, the, the website and the social media links in the show notes for you. So, so you can check those out. Definitely go check out the artwork. I’m, I’m, I’m looking at some, you know, behind you right now, and it, it’s, it’s looking pretty awesome and I’m, I’m sure those are just a handful of things, so I’m sure there’s a whole bunch of others that are kind of in a, a similar similar feel there.

[00:59:57] So, I’m, I’m. Just [01:00:00] really encourage folks to go, go check it out and, and check out that artwork. And, and,

[01:00:04] Cheri Carandanis: wanna thank you, Scott, for what you do

[01:00:07] Scott DeLuzio: yeah.

[01:00:07] Cheri Carandanis: giving voice, especially to veterans. And you know, I think I, I wrote you at first, like, I’m not sure if I’m the voice you want on your podcast. ’cause I didn’t, I don’t know, I just felt like, ’cause I, I, I’ve watched some of your podcasts and these are like some badass people I, I admire so much.

[01:00:24] I’m like, I dunno. But I really appreciated what you said is that every veteran’s voice is important

[01:00:29] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah

[01:00:30] Cheri Carandanis: we all have our experiences that we can share and that it could help somebody. So thank you for what you do.

[01:00:35] Scott DeLuzio: I, I appreciate that. And you know, the way I look at it is, you know, the, the story that you share here could be the start of somebody else’s healing journey, that they may be going through something very similar and it might just resonate. You know, we’re talking about you never know. You might listen to a podcast, you might watch a YouTube video, you might, might see something on the local news or something that just triggers something for you and, and gets you moving in the right direction.

[01:00:58] So hopefully this episode does [01:01:00] that for some folks.

[01:01:00] Cheri Carandanis: happen to, for someone, please reach

[01:01:03] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah,

[01:01:03] Cheri Carandanis: love to connect and hear, hear your story. Because that’s, that’s what keeps me going too.

[01:01:09] Scott DeLuzio: yeah, absolutely. And, and that’s, I mean, same with me. Every now and again, I’ll get a message from, from someone, not every time, but you know, I, I’m, I’m sure there’s other people out there who just don’t reach out. But you know, every once in a while I get, I do get a message from someone and, and they’ll say yeah, I really needed to hear that, that message today.

[01:01:23] And it, you know, that really helped out with one thing or another. And and it just, to me, I’m like, okay, awesome. Let, let’s let’s keep going with that. You know, mission accomplished. Let’s, let’s do it again. So.

[01:01:33] Cheri Carandanis: right.

[01:01:34] Scott DeLuzio: So anyways, I, I do I do appreciate you coming on the show and and, and sharing your, your journey, your story and, and everything that you’re doing.

[01:01:41] It’s very inspiring and I’m, I’m hopeful that it will be inspiring to some of those listeners. So, so thanks again.

[01:01:47] Cheri Carandanis: Thank you. Thank you.