Episode 561 Chelsey Woodard Document Everything When Trust Breaks Transcript

This transcript is from episode 561 with guest Chelsey Woodard.

[00:00:00] Scott DeLuzio: Some days in uniform, the danger that we face is not overseas. Sometimes it’s right down the hall behind somebody else’s rank. Hiding in paperwork meetings and various threats that make you second guess your own reality. Serving in the military. When you speak up, you expect that. The military, the system there will protect you.

[00:00:21] Then somehow the system starts protecting itself and you’re left carrying the weight, the fear, and the constant pressure to stay professional while your life gets rearranged. Now, picture the opposite path where you keep your head clear, you. Keep your eyes open. Stop letting other people bait you into reactions that can get you written up.

[00:00:42] A path where you build a paper trail and find a place to reset your nervous system and make decisions that protect your future, even if the organization refuses to. Chelsea Woodard, our guest today lived this shift from feeling supported to being [00:01:00] boxed in by politics, retaliation, and career games. After reporting a sexual assault, she walks through what helped her survive it.

[00:01:08] Documenting everything, sending follow up emails, using her leave, leaning on the vet center off base, and knowing when to bring in an attorney. This conversation is for anyone who’s ever felt targeted, dismissed, or watched while trying to do the right thing. Before we get into this episode, though, I wanna take a moment to raise awareness for something that’s deeply important to our community.

[00:01:29] The Global War On Terrorism Memorial Foundation. This organization is working to build a permanent national memorial in Washington DC to honor the service members, families, and civilians impacted by the global war on terrorism. This memorial will be both a tribute to those who have served and a way to ensure that their sacrifices are recognized and remembered for generations to come.

[00:01:52] If you’d like to learn more or find out how you can support their mission, visit GWOT memorial foundation.org. Now, let’s get into today’s [00:02:00] episode.

[00:02:00]

[00:02:13] Scott DeLuzio: Hey Chelsea, welcome to the show. Really glad to have you here.

[00:02:17] Chelsey Woodard: Thanks for having me. I’m excited to be here and excited to share my story and testimony and I hope we can reach some folks and help heal donation, you know.

[00:02:25] Scott DeLuzio: Oh yeah, absolutely. And that’s, that’s kind of like we were talking before we started recording here a little bit about the show and you know, that’s what, that’s what it’s all about. Just, just getting out there, getting messages out there of, of other folks who’ve maybe. Been through difficult situations and and how they got through it and or, or, you know, other organizations that have helped people get through things.

[00:02:45] And so we talk about all those things really to give hope to, to folks. And that’s what we’re trying to do with the, the listeners here today is give, give some hope, give some encouragement, and be, before we dive into to everything here, can you just give us a little bit of background for the listeners who aren’t [00:03:00] familiar with you and so they, they can know a little bit about who you are, kind of your, your back.

[00:03:03] Run in the military and that, that type of thing.

[00:03:06] Chelsey Woodard: Absolutely. So my name is Chelsea Woodard. I’ve served eight, almost nine years in the military. I served US Air Force. Initially I was not gonna join the Air Force, I wasn’t gonna join the military at all. Funny enough, my brother was in ROTC and I thought he was gonna be the one to go. But I had a family friend who persisted.

[00:03:25] He was like, get outta here, you know, from Miami. He was like, you know, go, go to the Army, is what he said. And he was like, you do four years and then all this stuff is gonna be here. And he’s like, but you’re smart. You should try the Air Force. And I went to the Air Force and literally I went to the Air Force.

[00:03:41] I wanted to be a linguist. Funny enough. And they were trying to ship me out. It was around the time when they had those bonuses for positions that were critically manned and needed to be filled. So they said, we got this ammo thing, and I thought it was like, security forces ammo, or they, they, they do the armory with the guns.

[00:03:56] Boy was I wrong. So, and he said, if [00:04:00] you don’t like it, you can just change it when you go in. And when I went in and I tried to change it, they just laughed. They was like, no, girl, you can’t change it. You’re, you’re ammo. This is, this is what it is. So, I started off as trailer maintenance working on trailers.

[00:04:13] I, I used to say I was a Jiffy Lube for the Air Force, right. And then I, I graduated into doing munitions inspection and things like that. Missile maintenance and, and all that jazz. So I, I, I don’t really tell, when people ask me, I just say, you know, I just worked on ammunition. You know, you say bombs and missiles.

[00:04:31] Then they, they go less. You know, they do, I have to be worried about you. And I’m like, please don’t start, you know, like, don’t start, you know, I’m friendly here. But it, it was really good for the first four years and then the last four and a half, you know, it, it wasn’t so good. And that’s what I’m here to talk about and how to help people navigate through it.

[00:04:49] And, and that’s pretty much it.

[00:04:51] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Well, so let’s, let’s talk about the, the kind of back half of your your time in the military. You said it wasn’t so good. Tell us a little bit [00:05:00] about that, that experience and kinda what was going on with you there and, and how, how that all kinda worked out. I.

[00:05:06] Chelsey Woodard: So, unfortunately for me, I had one of those lovely experiences like most women, and I thought reporting it and with all the research and things that they said in the military about how far we’ve come with sexual assault and supporting women and the Sharp program, I thought that it would be a good idea to report it.

[00:05:22] Listen, I was terribly wrong. Every, everything just went down here. From there, I estimate underestimated a lot of things as far as politics. Bureaucracy in the military and if me stepping forward is gonna alter someone else’s career that’s been in for 19, 18, 21 years, they don’t care what I have to say.

[00:05:43] You know? And that’s the unfortunate reality. And that’s a lot of what I experienced. I experienced a lot of people initially saying, Hey, we support you. That’s what our program is here for. But when they saw how knee deep it was and when it came down to supporting me or their positions, it was. We can’t [00:06:00] support you.

[00:06:00] You know, I’ve had people resign because they didn’t wanna face accountability. I have a report from the ig, whereas I was put next to the person who assaulted me. And because I took the offer to, it’s called it was just on my brain to my tongue, expedite transfer. So that’s when they give you, for the people that don’t know, that’s when the military gives you the option to leave the base that you’re at and go somewhere else for mental health reasons, for, for whatever reason.

[00:06:28] Right. And they, and they call it an expedited transfer. So because I took that expedited transfer the IG concluded that they weren’t gonna do anything to the official high ranking official who put me next to the person who assaulted me on purpose I out of spite. Right. In my opinion, that was definitely outta spite.

[00:06:47] And they said, because she left the base, I had went to another base that they, they didn’t find any reason to. Take any action against that person. So I was like, wow. So much for accountability, even though that person was still telling [00:07:00] other individuals to give me paperwork and you’re not supposed to do that.

[00:07:03] So after that, I reported it to Congress and from there they didn’t like that I reported them to Congress. They put in my medical records. She reported us to EO IG, which is retaliation. And from there, just, it just, it just went bad because I’m one of those people where I stand up for people and I don’t believe in, I wouldn’t say titles, but I’m not gonna hold your position above what is morally right.

[00:07:33] And if, if you know that you’re wrong, if you know that you’re just kicking somebody out for a promotion, to me, that’s wrong. You know, like we have so many service members. I remember when I was back at Nellis, we had a service member commit suicide on base, broad daylight, full shift, and I never understood why.

[00:07:50] I was like, there’s so many people around you, wouldn’t you just go to somebody? But after what I experienced, I totally get it. I totally get it. And you can go as to many, as many people as [00:08:00] you want, but when it come down to them choosing to stand up for you or their position, you won’t find a lot of people that will support you.

[00:08:08] And that’s the unfortunate reality of what I face. And still face to face,

[00:08:12] Scott DeLuzio: So. Yeah. And that, that’s, that’s all unfortunate. How, how that happened to you and I, you know, I, unfortunately, I’ve heard other stories from other women who have had similar experiences where they didn’t feel like they were being taken either not taken seriously or they, they were just kind of brushed aside and they, they weren’t.

[00:08:33] You know, for whatever reason, they just weren’t treated with fairness and respect

[00:08:37] so for any of the, the, the listeners out there who are hearing your story and feel like maybe they have experienced something similar what would you suggest to them that they, they do facing a. similar situation, where They feel like they, they’re doing all the right things or doing all the things that they’ve been told to do, but really doesn’t seem like it’s gaining any momentum. [00:09:00] It’s not not going where they, they think it should be going. What advice after, after going through all of this yourself, what advice would you give to, to some of those folks?

[00:09:09] Chelsey Woodard: I would give to them the same advice that somebody gave me early on, which was, don’t let them get to your mind. Now I’m gonna be so I knew what he meant. But until I, and he said it early, very, very early, and it caught me in enough time to where I was able to recognize, oh, you’re just trying to gaslight me.

[00:09:34] You’re just trying to get a reaction out of me. You want me to act this way so that you can document it and say, oh look, I’m doing this because she’s behaving like this. So I would encourage anybody who’s going through the same thing, document. Because I thought it was a joke. I was like, I’m not this, this is excessive.

[00:09:51] That documentation saved me a lot of times. A lot of times, even if it’s just like, you have this conversation in this meeting, send that [00:10:00] follow up email. This is what we talked about. This is what we agreed to. Send it, send it. There were times where I was criticized like, oh, she’s, she’s typing all this up and she’s sending it to us. Yeah. I’m, I’m keeping an accurate record of what was conversated, and if you don’t respond back. Then you must be agreeing that this is what was said. So just don’t let ’em get to your mind. Document and find your safe haven. My safe haven was this. It, it’s just the beach water. Any, anywhere that there’s water, anywhere I can sit and meditate.

[00:10:38] And be next to the water and listen to the waves. Find somewhere where you can clear your mind, clear your head. You’ll have family that will support you. You’ll have family that won’t support you. You’ll have friends that will support, won’t support. In my situation, I saw a lot of, I would have support and then, because certain individuals would go [00:11:00] out and ask people questions, right?

[00:11:03] They would switch their status and be like, oh, well maybe she is doing this. Maybe. And then that’s when you call like bearing false witness to certain things. Right. I have it in my case. Whereas I was reporting, being followed and watched, I was reporting. My supervisor verbatim stated to me, they told her to watch me and anything.

[00:11:22] I do report it back to them that I couldn’t be trusted. And when she said, well, why can’t she be trusted? They said, oh, you just have to watch her. So it’s like you don’t even have a reason, but that’s what they do when they wanna put you out the door. So I had to find the strength. I did a lot of praying.

[00:11:39] I did a lot of crying. I did a, I can’t believe this is happening to me because the earlier four years were amazing. I didn’t have any trouble, nothing. And the ideal was we can’t kick somebody out that doesn’t have a history, so we have to create it, right? And then so when somebody else looks at it, they’ll say, okay, this person is a problem.

[00:11:58] Get rid of them. [00:12:00] So, excuse me, I had to come to the terms, whereas there was nothing I could do that was gonna change somebody else’s mind, whether they were gonna kick me out or not. And regardless of what they were saying to me, because they were like, we’re gonna cross train you. We’re gonna, you know, we’re gonna help you in your career, but I’m getting paperwork left and right.

[00:12:19] That paperwork isn’t gonna help me cross train. You know, it’s gonna help push me out the door. So I had to come to that innate understanding, this is what it is, regardless of what they’re saying. Document. I might not like it because I was like, I’m gonna do 20 years. I’m gonna retire as a brigadier general out the window, right?

[00:12:38] So I had to come to that reality like, Hey, I know this may not have been what you wanted, but this is where we are. Protect yourself. Get an attorney and let it take its course. So I would encourage anybody to do the same exact thing.

[00:12:56] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, and I, I think documentation is, is [00:13:00] huge. And that goes for any number of things that you may experience in the military you know, for the, the stuff that you’re just talking about. Of course. But but also like any medical issue that you might have in, in the military as well.

[00:13:13] Document everything document. Copies of everything, you know, just keep a copy, keep a, your own personal record in, in multiple formats if you can. A hard copy on paper, keep it, you know, scan it in as, as on the computer, you know, all the, the different formats that you can have. ’cause I don’t know, like, I’ve moved several times.

[00:13:33] I might have misplaced certain things and, and you, you end up losing stuff just because you, you know, it just gets sweeped up with a, you know, what you think is trash. But it’s, it’s not, you know.

[00:13:44] Chelsey Woodard: And for the people that are like not used to it, you’re gonna be like, this is so foreign. Listen, it is gonna be foreign, but you’re gonna be so glad you did it. In the end, we had a senior master sergeant getting ready to retire. He had did 20 something years. [00:14:00] Him and his wife was getting ready to retire, right?

[00:14:02] They lost his paperwork out of nowhere and they had it sent to where 2015 when he was a tech sergeant. And I was like, how did they just lose your paperwork? So it happens. It, it happens. Yeah,

[00:14:20] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. And you never know the reason why the pa, the paperwork gets misplaced or lost. But quite frankly, it doesn’t matter if, if you have a copy of it, then you have a copy and, and you’re good to go. And, and it doesn’t matter. Don’t, don’t trust somebody else with your. Information, information to, to make sure that because they’re not, they’re not, yeah, exactly.

[00:14:39] They’re, they’re not gonna care as much as you’re gonna care that that documentation exists, especially when it comes to, you know, disability benefits and all these other things that, that might take place, even legal issues like, like you’re talking about, like, nobody else is gonna care as much as you do.

[00:14:52] So, so it, you damn well better keep it, you know? And, and that’s, that’s exactly what you’re saying. So, were there any. [00:15:00] Resources or, you know, organizations or anything like that, that you reached out to for, for help during, during this time that you were, you were looking for you know, assistance maybe I know you said, you know, get, get a lawyer, get, you know, those types of things.

[00:15:12] But were there any organizations that, that were helpful for you?

[00:15:16] Chelsey Woodard: Well, for me initially I’m gonna say it was like the sapper, ’cause my stuff started in Korea, then it came to Florida. It was the sapper. I would, I would go and then it was like people other MCOs that I would lean on a lot. It, it, it was like airman and family readiness whenever I like need it, a loan or whenever I needed to get like a budget.

[00:15:40] ’cause they’ll do, they’ll do like a budget with you and things like that. Whenever I felt off track, I would initiate some of these programs. There’s one more, I can’t think about it right now. It’ll come to me later, but it, it’s one of the, the chaplain is another one. Like there’d be different times where I would go and utilize the service.

[00:15:58] Mental health was another one. [00:16:00] But they would always get to this point where they would say, hold up, we’re Air Force. We gotta protect Air Force versus protecting Chelsea. So unfortunately there was a lot, oh, the Vet Center, that’s what it was. Vet center is off base. They do not have that obligation.

[00:16:17] It was solely created because so many people, so many veterans, I believe it was from World War ii, they were committed suicide and things like that. And they said, we need something separate from the military where service members do not have to report and they can come here confidently and they can get their care.

[00:16:32] And that’s exactly what I did. I loved it both times that I went, when I moved, I went to two different centers. I loved it. You will have to turn in your record. Because that’s like a part of the military. They need to, if you’re active duty, they need to have the accurate what do you call it? It’s a word.

[00:16:47] It’s a term that they say not duty history, but fit for duty. They need to determine if you’re fit for duty. So, so they’ll say like, we need your records, but that’s only if they need to determine if you’re fit for duty and they need to put [00:17:00] you out or, so you would be the main person for the people that’s listening.

[00:17:03] You would be the person if you say, I can’t do this anymore. Your therapist is gonna say, are you sure you need to report to the main basis mental health, get that process started. And then when they ask for your records, we’ll present your records and say This what the person I’m saying she, ’cause I was, I’m a she, but she or he, they’ll say, this is what she’s been working on with us.

[00:17:23] We concur with this. You all have to make your determination. And then they’ll go from there. But I found the vet center very helpful. I had like paint therapy, you know, and that was pretty fun. And as long as you tell your supervisor they should be okay with it, letting you go do those different kind of therapy exercises.

[00:17:40] It, and it was pretty good. So, and they have other veterans come that are like retired or just out of service and you just get to mingle with a bunch of different people. And the beauty of it is like you get to see that life still goes on after service. So that, that was key for me.

[00:17:57] Scott DeLuzio: That is good. Yeah. And at, at what [00:18:00] point did you recognize in yourself that you needed a, a little bit more outside help than, than what you were able to kind of handle on your own? When, when you decided to, to go to the vet center to go to some of these other resources at at what point were you, you, like, you know, I, I need to kind of just reach out and, and get some extra help.

[00:18:20] Chelsey Woodard: It got to the point where like, I wouldn’t say that I didn’t recognize myself, but I was like, what’s going on here? You know, like, you know that SpongeBob meme where he’s like, well. I kind of felt like that because I would talk to my supervisor or peers that were in service and they would say one thing, oh, they just wanna help you, YY, y.

[00:18:43] But then when I would tell people that were outside of service that been through what I’ve gone through, they’d say, no, no, no, no, no. That’s not what’s going on. This is what they’re trying to do. You need to protect yourself. And I’m like, but they’re telling me this. You know? And I was still in that phase of.

[00:18:58] Uncertainty where I [00:19:00] wanted to believe that the actions that were being taken were in favor of me, but in actuality, they were doing it to hurt me. So when it got to that point where I was like, I, I can’t do this anymore. Like I’m not gonna show up and give a hundred percent, and everything that you’re doing is to harm me.

[00:19:16] For example, I had a supervisor tell me, and this was like my breaking point, I had a supervisor tell me he gave me like a order to go do this workload. And when I went to do the workload, I was like, this isn’t according to the, the, to which is like the technical order, how it’s supposed to be done. And when I came back in, essentially they were fully ready to give me paperwork for doing it, how he said to do it.

[00:19:42] But I didn’t do it because I was like, no. And I showed him like, Hey look, this box is exactly like what I thought it should be. You told me to do it this way. And he couldn’t provide to me in a to. Because I said, where does this say to do it your way? If you show me I’ll do it. He couldn’t show me. And I was like, [00:20:00] oh, you guys were gonna try to write me up for this, huh?

[00:20:02] Oh, I see what’s going on. And at that point I said, no more, no more. I got a LOR for going over doing a fitness exam because the what do you call ’em? The ma the master’s. He didn’t know that I was going overdue. And I was like. Are you sure? Because you emailed me to make sure that I fill out this paperwork to send back to the first sergeant and the fitness person in the unit because I was gonna go overdue.

[00:20:29] You came to make sure I did it and sent it back to them. You’re CC’d on all the emails, even where they responded saying I was gonna be overdue, so why am I getting this paperwork again? So when it got to that point, I said, all right, I’m gonna need a little help coming to reality that what I thought the service was and.

[00:20:47] What I thought of how situations get handled and how people get treated. You know, per the afis, this isn’t, it’s, it’s not panning out that way. And I’ve never dealt with this experience, so I’m gonna need a little bit [00:21:00] more help. And it took a lot of putting pride aside, putting ego aside and really saying like, I’m gonna have to figure out what I’m gonna do after the military, you know, and come into terms with that reality.

[00:21:10] And that’s, that’s when I was like, okay. Let me go talk to some people outside of the uniform and, and get it together.

[00:21:19] Scott DeLuzio: Right. Yeah. And, and so when you eventually did leave the, the military, did you have a, a plan for what was next and, and what you were gonna be doing with your life? You know, after, after getting out of the military?

[00:21:34] Chelsey Woodard: I did, so I had a skill bridge set up. I was, I had a job. They said, we’re gonna move you to Arizona. They’re building a facility out there and I bet on black, so to say. Right? Like, I was like, all right, I got everything ready to go. I got a job. They gotta help me out with housing. I just need to go to this internship.

[00:21:53] I’ll be good. So I thought, and then one of the other in interns showed up at my [00:22:00] hotel room unannounced, and I was like, I’m not gonna deal with this. Like, it reminded me too much of my military experience. And the company essentially wanted me to just come back and pretend like nothing happened. And if you know anything about working with interns, everybody works together.

[00:22:15] You’re in one room. And I was like, no, thank you. And most of the people were veterans. It was through a veteran program. That’s typically how Gilbert is. And I was like, I’ve lived this life once, one time. I’m not gonna do it again. Like I, I kept my mouth closed for. However long in the military, I’m not doing it again.

[00:22:33] If I don’t have to. And I, you know, I asked if they had other locations and things like that and they was like, no, just come back. And I was like, no, no, thank you. This, this isn’t gonna work for me if you don’t value your own company policy. That the HR person was telling me that this is against company policy.

[00:22:49] Okay. So why are you still trying to force me to come back and be around this person? I don’t think so. So I said I’m trying to heal, not be hurt. So I, I just [00:23:00] left and then I just accepted like, I don’t know where life is gonna take me and now I’m applying for jobs and stuff like that and just still trying to heal.

[00:23:08] But I had a plan. Didn’t go as planned, but I had a plan.

[00:23:13] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, and you know, I, I’ve heard from other folks that it’s a high number of people. Leaving the military like a high percentage of people who leave the military, who within the first two years of leaving the military, they’ve gone from that, that first job, they’re already into another job. Just within that, that first two years.

[00:23:35] Some, some people, even in that first year, they, they’ve already left that job. A lot of times it’s just not a good fit or, you know, it’s, it’s not, the career isn’t what they were expecting it to be or the location, whatever it is, there’s a whole number of issues. Sounds like your, your issue is probably more more significant than, than what what some other people are, are dealing with.

[00:23:55] But you know, it, it, it is what it is, you know, for one reason or another. And it, [00:24:00] it, for some reason it’s just hard for a lot of, lot of veterans to find that. First job and, and just nail it and land it and, and say, you know, this is a, this is a great job. This is what I’d, I’d love to do for the rest of my career.

[00:24:11] But, you know, it, it, it doesn’t always work out that way, you know?

[00:24:14] Chelsey Woodard: I’ll, I’ll tell you, they were very like slow paced too. And I was like, what are we gonna do today? And they was like, whatever comes. And I was like, what does that mean, you know? And I’m like,

[00:24:27] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Right.

[00:24:27] Chelsey Woodard: by myself, what am I supposed to do? And they was like, whatever work comes up. And I was like, okay.

[00:24:34] I was like, all right,

[00:24:36] Scott DeLuzio: that could be, that, that could be nothing. Or that could be a whole lot of something and, and you don’t, you don’t have any idea going into it like, what is today gonna look like? Gonna have a busy day? Am I gonna have a slow day? Who, who knows? But yeah, that, that could be, that could be a, a, a little nerve wracking as well, when, when you, you just don’t know what’s going on with, with any of that.

[00:24:55] So,

[00:24:55] Chelsey Woodard: yeah. And I only had, we only had like two months to really learn, like through the internship [00:25:00] what we were supposed to be doing. So I was like, so when I leave here. And say something doesn’t come up while I’m here. What’s gonna happen when I get out on my own? You know?

[00:25:11] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s gonna be hard to cover every possible thing that, that comes up in, in that short a time period. But as far as your, so your, your post-military life and, and you’ve, you’ve gotten out and, and you’re, you’re kind of, you know, living your life now, but as a Air Force veteran do, do you still try to stay connected to the military community in any way through like veteran organizations or, or things like that?

[00:25:37] Or are you, you kind of just put that, that history behind you.

[00:25:41] Chelsey Woodard: No, no, no, no, no, no. If I can help it, the answer is no. The answer is no. I’m still fighting and navigating through some things right now. I’ll tell you, I had a therapist straight up tell me she was approached by agents and in a different session she said she was writing in [00:26:00] favor of the government, and I’m still trying to get my records correct, my records and things like that, because.

[00:26:09] I never, to me, I never really had that full known opportunity to heal. You know, when you, you endure such a grave injustice, it’s hard to heal when you don’t have the answers. And this year I, I said to myself like, I’m gonna let some things go. Like if I can’t get an answer to, I’m just gonna have to let it go.

[00:26:26] But there are certain things that I’m like, no, no, no. Somebody’s gonna have to answer to this. And when you have people that are being held accountable and. Somebody undermines you like that. Like come on. You know? So if I can help it, I stay away from the agencies because in my eyes, that’s just another extension of the government.

[00:26:49] And then they’ll just get more people to kind of do their bidding and say whatever they need them to say. And I hate to think that way. But I have to, because when I wasn’t thinking that way, it caught me by [00:27:00] surprise. So I have to be prepared for whichever way the domino may fall. I don’t want it to be that way, but I’m, I’m not even gonna put myself in that situation at this point.

[00:27:10] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Yeah. And I know a lot of people who get out of the military, they still feel that that connection to the military, they wanna be part of something. They wanna have that comradery or, or that sense of belonging. And, and so they, they join, you know, some of these. Organizations like the American Legion or VFW or you know, those types of things.

[00:27:28] They try to get together with other veterans and, and it kind of helps them in their, that transition period. But then there’s other people who are like, you know what, that was a totally different part of me, and I wanna just put that piece behind me and, and I just wanna move on with the rest of my life.

[00:27:43] And there, there’s no right or wrong. Answer to that, that, you know, it’s, it is, it’s different for everybody. And and everybody’s reasons are gonna be different and, and everything. And, and there’s, there’s no, like I said, there’s no right or wrong way to look at it. It’s, it’s just. How, how you [00:28:00] approach it and and so, you know, in your case it’s a, a piece of your history that you want to kind of keep behind you.

[00:28:05] And you know, you’re still fighting through some of these things right now, so it’s not like it’s totally behind you. But it’s not like you, you wanna just go jump right back in and, and go hanging out with all these people too, you know, so it’s, and, and it makes sense. I I

[00:28:18] Chelsey Woodard: My granddad asked me all the time. He is like, you’ll go back, huh? I said, no, no, no, no, no,

[00:28:23] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.

[00:28:24] Chelsey Woodard: no, no, no. I’m ready to get a backpack and just travel the world. You know? That’s what I wanna do.

[00:28:29] Scott DeLuzio: There you go. Yeah. So in your, your day-to-day life you know, with the, the trauma and the everything that you’ve endured through your time in the military and, and all the, I guess, the kind of injustice that, that took place with, with how this whole situation was handled, how do you, how do you find it in yourself to, to just keep moving on and, and continue to do the best you can with your, your day to day, [00:29:00] whether, whether it’s work or you know, family or other people that are in your life.

[00:29:04] How do you, how do you move forward and, and kind of, not allow that to kind of take over all, all aspects of your life?

[00:29:13] Chelsey Woodard: Good question. So I’m a bird’s eye view kind of person. I look at the big picture and I always say to myself, if I let their actions change me, they win. If I stay stuck reminiscing on things, they win. If I get locked up and I go to jail, they win. You know? You know what I mean? And so my objective is to not let them win, but also focus on what winning looks like to me.

[00:29:41] Who was Chelsea before the military? Who was Chelsea before all this stuff happened? What were my goals? What were my dreams? What did I want for myself? And going through the process. That’s another thing that I would tell anybody that’s listening and going through the same thing or something similar, whether it’s the military, your job, whatever have you.

[00:29:58] What do you want out of the [00:30:00] situation? And be realistic. I can honestly say that I came in for education. I got my education before I left, right? I didn’t think I was like, there were times where I was like, I don’t know if I’m gonna make it. I think they’re gonna put me out first. But I had to make that decision and say, no, this is something I wanted.

[00:30:17] I wanted to get my degree, let me get my degree, let me put forth the effort. Like I had to wake up and take those classes, right? Because life doesn’t stop because you’re going through something. So there was a point in my life where everything stopped. Even I stopped and I was like, I don’t ever wanna feel this low again.

[00:30:35] So, and, and the, the irony of that is when people see me now, they’re like, you look fine. And I’m like, I look fine, but I’m right where I need to be. You know, like,

[00:30:48] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.

[00:30:48] Chelsey Woodard: And like for example, I was in therapy and they was like, well, you dressed nice. And I was like. Had you saw me two months ago, you would’ve wondered what’s wrong with me?

[00:30:57] Right. You know, uh uh Or they’ll [00:31:00] be like, oh, you smell good. But two months ago, there was somebody else who met me when I wasn’t smelling good. You know? So it’s, it’s taking those baby steps, you know, and committing to yourself and understanding that I had to have this level of understanding that everybody that I come into contact with, they haven’t seen my full journey.

[00:31:21] They haven’t seen me before. The trauma. There’s people that seen me before it. There’s people that seen me at the beginning. There’s people that seen me at the middle. There’s people that seen me towards the end. There’s people that seen me in the recovery process and each person is gonna have a different level of assessment.

[00:31:36] And I had to be okay with that because they haven’t seen me throughout the whole thing. And at first I was like trying to prove, so to speak. I was like, no. And over explaining. And then I was like, no, I’m done with that. You either get it or you don’t. Not all wounds are are visible. And if I decide that I’m gonna put this in a box and close it and never talk about it again, so be it.

[00:31:59] [00:32:00] You, you know? And, and some people just have to accept that. So I think for

[00:32:05] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. The,

[00:32:06] Chelsey Woodard: I had to realize, last thing I was gonna say, not to cut you off, is that when it comes to the family aspect there were some parts of me that were like, I don’t wanna drag them into what I have going on. So I pushed a lot of people away.

[00:32:19] Then when I needed support, I was looking for people and I couldn’t find them ’cause I pushed ’em away partially. Right. And I just said to myself, who do I wanna be? Right. Do I wanna be the miserable person? Do I wanna be this person, or do I wanna be that person that shows up? Do I wanna be that person where people can be inspired by?

[00:32:39] Do I wanna be the person that, you know, you hear about in the history books, like you went through all that, you know, and, and well, dang, well, maybe I can get through what I got going on, you know? So I decided that’s who I wanted to be. And when it comes to like, family and stuff, you, you know, like. It is cliche, but it’s like [00:33:00] everything ain’t for everybody, you know?

[00:33:02] So, and that’s, that’s pretty much it. Do what you can. Don’t fake it. I would encourage you not to fake it. Mm-hmm. Show up as you are so people can help you where you are. And that’s okay.

[00:33:16] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, absolutely. And. You know, what you just said, you know, trying to be an inspiration to other people, trying to share your story and, and let other people know that they’re not alone and, and that, you know, that’s, that’s what we’re, that’s what this show’s all about. And, and it’s trying to let folks out there who might be just suffering in silence and, and saying to themselves that it’s just me.

[00:33:40] Nobody else knows what I’m going through. Well. Here’s an example that there’s somebody else who, who might have gone through something like this and Yeah. You know, you know what some of, some of these other folks have gone through, you know, how bad it feels to not be taken seriously [00:34:00] or, or even taken seriously, but just nothing is being done about it.

[00:34:04] And or, or whatever the case might be. It, it’s, it sucks. And it, it makes people. Feel like they can’t trust anybody and they, they don’t wanna talk to anybody. They don’t wanna, they just wanna push everybody away. And, you know, here’s somebody who knows what those, those folks are going through. And there are people that you can talk to.

[00:34:27] There are people who know, you know, what’s going on with all this. So. You don’t have to go through any of this alone and, and whatever it is for you, whether, whether it’s a situation like what you described or, or it’s, it’s something else. There are other people out there who have experienced those things and, and, and you don’t have to go through it alone and, and you can reach out for help and it’s not a sign of weakness.

[00:34:51] As a matter of fact, it’s a sign of strength to be able to, to ask for help. And, and if you think about it, you know what? In the military did we ever do that? [00:35:00] Wasn’t as a group or as a team or in, in like battle buddy pairs, at least, you know, at minimum, you know, pretty much everything was done with somebody else. Why not take that mindset and and apply that to, you know, everything else in, in life. So, you know, I’m, I’m glad that you came on and were open and honest to, to share your story and and, and be that inspiration, be that hope for some other folks who might be going through something similar. It’s, it’s not the easiest thing to come on a show and, and share, you know, it’s kind of the, the dark po parts of your life.

[00:35:33] But you know, if. Like you said, as long as it’s able to help some folks that then you’re willing to do it and that, that’s great. And so I, I appreciate you coming on and, and sharing all this Before we wrap up though Yeah. Before we wrap up though, do you have any like, kinda last messages or, you know, words of encouragement for anybody before we wrap up?

[00:35:51] Chelsey Woodard: Absolutely. I’m gonna say, which is my favorite saying, this is what I would say to myself. I would say like, give them hell, you know, and ammo. [00:36:00] You know, we, we have our little saying, you know, it’s like, give them the guns, right? And, and it’s like, give them hell with the guns. So give them, give them hell, you know, like if somebody wrongs you in, in general, it’s perfectly okay to be upset about it.

[00:36:15] You know, in the military they train us and I think this was a big part of. What took me so long to like get it through my head what was going on? They trained us to just be okay with certain things. Pick up and move on. Right? But you have to understand when you’re not at 100%. I say this all the time, if you’re not 100%, don’t come here trying to give me 50.

[00:36:36] Don’t give me 47. Don’t give me 63. Take the leave because they, oh, this person’s on leave all the time. You don’t know why they’re on leave all the time. It’s probably best that they’re on leave all the time. Right? Take the leave. Take the vacation, life is gonna go on. You know what I mean? And it’s gonna suck in the moment, but remember, it’s only for a season.

[00:36:59] And when you [00:37:00] come out of those tears, when you come out of that somber, forgive yourself because this is probably your first rodeo. That’s something I had to do, right? I always been on a straight network path. I’ve never got in any kind of crazy trouble or anything like that. Speeding tickets. Okay. You know?

[00:37:15] But. I’ve never dealt with like law enforcement, anything like what I dealt with in the military. So I had to really forgive myself because there was a lot of things that I just did not know ’cause I didn’t have the life experience and that’s okay. Now I do know and life goes on. So if you’re listening, if you’re in that sunken place, just know that you’re there now.

[00:37:36] It’s for the experience and then you decide how you wanna deal with it, and whatever’s best for you is what’s best for you because people can’t tell you anything of how to handle your situation if they’ve never been in your shoes or in that situation themselves.

[00:37:50] Scott DeLuzio: right. Yeah. Absolutely. Well, thank you again Chelsea, for coming on and sharing your story and, and for those last kind of words of [00:38:00] encouragement and, and, and everything. So, thank you again and, and really do appreciate you coming on.

[00:38:05] Chelsey Woodard: Thank you.