Episode 570 Ken Webb Turning PTSD Into Creative Work Transcript
This transcript is from episode 570 with guest Ken Webb.
[00:00:00] Scott DeLuzio: A lot of veterans know what it’s like to keep moving because slowing down means dealing with everything that you’ve been trying to outrun. The PTSD can make it hard to focus, hard to relax, hard, to figure out what to do with all the anger, the stress, and memories that still come at you even years later.
[00:00:17] This episode is going to get into one way to deal with all of that in in a practical way. Our guest today, Ken Webb, talks about why he stopped waiting for the next thing to come around. He moved to Peru and put his time into writing a novel that helped him work through betrayal, fear and old Combat Stress in this episode deal here, how he gave himself structure again, why reading and writing helped him stay focused and why creating something with your own hands can give you a sense of purpose when you need one. Before we get into this episode, I wanna take a moment to raise awareness for something that’s deeply important to our community. The Global War on Terrorism Memorial Foundation.
[00:00:57] This organization is working to build a permanent [00:01:00] national memorial in Washington DC to honor the service members, families, and civilians who are impacted by the global war on terrorism. This memorial will be both a tribute to those who served and a way to ensure that their sacrifices are recognized and remembered for generations to come.
[00:01:14] If you’d like to learn more or find out how you can support their mission, visit GWOT memorial foundation.org. Now, let’s get into today’s episode.
[00:01:23]
[00:01:36] Scott DeLuzio: Hey, Ken, welcome to the show. Really glad to have you here.
[00:01:39] Ken Webb: Thanks for having me.
[00:01:40] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, you bet.
[00:01:41] Hey, before we kind of jump into the conversation would you mind telling us a little bit about your, your background and, and a little bit about yourself, just for the listeners maybe who aren’t familiar with you and, and who you are.
[00:01:51] Ken Webb: Yes, I’m, from a town called Conga, Pennsylvania, right outside Philadelphia. Grew up in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and then also [00:02:00] in Texas. Graduated from the University of Texas in Arlington. Not the main campus, the, you know, the, the big horns, but I, I was, I I was an ROTC graduate.
[00:02:12] Prior to that I was enlisted always in the Army Reserves. 30, 33 years. Most of it as an officer. Was an armor enlisted. And then as an officer of military police, I had a hard time, but I did branch transfer to military intelligence. I have some combat deployments Kosovo,
[00:02:32] Iraq, and then Afghanistan, and then back to Iraq.
[00:02:36] At the embassy in Baghdad, Iraq,
[00:02:38] Scott DeLuzio: Okay.
[00:02:38] Ken Webb: and falling under the State Department, even though I was army on a diplomatic mission, couldn’t carry a firearm. So, I also am, I’m retired from the Army Reserves. I’m also retired from American Airlines, I did about seven months as a Department of Defense contractor in kut.
[00:02:55] Doing some intelligence. I’m living down in the Mira [00:03:00] Flores district of Lima, Peru. It’s on the coast picture, California, Santa Barbara, someplace like that. Also have the earthquakes, but right now it’s
[00:03:10] nice and warm here.
[00:03:13] And I know it’s cold up there,
[00:03:15] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah,
[00:03:16] the,
[00:03:16] Ken Webb: warm. And people are like, yeah,
[00:03:19] you, you, you suck.
[00:03:20] I don’t want to hear that.
[00:03:21] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, the, the the time we’re recording just for the the listeners here. This is the end of January. This is around the time period where when everyone is getting snowed in and everything around the country. I’m in Arizona right now, so it’s nice and sunny and warm here, so,
[00:03:35] Ken Webb: It could be
[00:03:35] icy there though, but
[00:03:36] Scott DeLuzio: well certain places, but
[00:03:38] I’m in, I’m down in the Phoenix area.
[00:03:40] It’s, it’s nice and warm here, so I
[00:03:41] don’t, I don’t really have to worry about that.
[00:03:43] Ken Webb: Okay,
[00:03:43] Scott DeLuzio: Okay, Yeah. Yeah.
[00:03:44] Ken Webb: Yeah. No, my, my friend ordered it. He said, he was showing me the weather report there. He said, yeah, I know you’re in. in a, you’re down in Mira Flores. Near,
[00:03:54] he is at FU but he didn’t say f He wrote, he said, I I don’t wanna hear it.
[00:03:57] Don’t tell me how wonderful it is. I don’t wanna [00:04:00] know.
[00:04:00] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
[00:04:00] Ken Webb: So yeah, I’m, I’m down here now and, and it, it’s, you know, I have some PTSD, but I came down here and I was waiting on another contracting job. when the time came up, I was like, look, I waited three months on you guys and you want me to go back to the United States to go work in over in a Australia Air’s rock area.
[00:04:21] And know, I’m gonna be working in a building with no Windows 12 hour shifts, and then go midnight excuse me, go 12 to midnight. 12 to midnight, midnight to 12, midnight to 12, and then four days off and in, in really hot environment. I’ve researched this. And, you know, at that time I was already in my fifties, mid fifties, and I knew people were dying from heart attacks, some from cancer, and I was like,
[00:04:47] I’m, I’m gonna live my life.
[00:04:48] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
[00:04:50] Ken Webb: So I’m, I’m gonna study Spanish, I’m gonna continue studying it down here. I wanna get fluent. So I’m building my resume. I wanna write that novel. I’ve always wanted to write, and I’d already started [00:05:00] writing it. And then, you know, I want to get my doctorate. then at my age now, I’ll, I’ll be, it’s January, February, I’ll be 57.
[00:05:08] I, I thinking I was gonna go to Texas a and m University and really thinking it over. I, I don’t wanna look for a parking space. I don’t, I’m not gonna go to football games. I don’t, I don’t want to
[00:05:20] a bunch of 20 and, you know, young 30 year olds, 32
[00:05:24] year olds saying, what’s grandpa doing in our class?
[00:05:25] Scott DeLuzio: Right.
[00:05:26] Ken Webb: I, I
[00:05:27] want, I’m just gonna do it online, continue to study Spanish, and
[00:05:31] and, and I do have PTSD.
[00:05:33] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
[00:05:34] Ken Webb: a hundred percent by the va and 50% of that is, is PTSD. And, and this is good for
[00:05:39] me down here, just that it’s more, it can be frustrating if I was working here. I don’t think this would be good for my PTSD ’cause the traffic is
[00:05:47] atrocious and the, the way that they
[00:05:51] view time is different
[00:05:52] here.
[00:05:53] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
[00:05:54] Ken Webb: it’s just kind of like, know, eight o’clock, well, you show
[00:05:57] up maybe 8 20, 8 30,
[00:05:59] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
[00:05:59] Ken Webb: Don’t [00:06:00] know that they’re necessarily that way when they work, but, you know, in a social event, you can’t show up before the event. You know
[00:06:06] me, I’m showing up 10 minutes early, so now I’ve learned to just wait until it’s
[00:06:10] actual time for the event and then ring the doorbell.
[00:06:12] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
[00:06:13] Ken Webb: But I, and, and really it’s less stressful for me
[00:06:16] because my US dollar goes further.
[00:06:19] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
[00:06:19] Ken Webb: you will see my stress, PTSD
[00:06:22] coming out is when the people lay on their horns
[00:06:24] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
[00:06:24] Ken Webb: what the heck, what is wrong with you? The light’s red.
[00:06:27] What are you accomplishing by? Why are you honking?
[00:06:29] Scott DeLuzio: Right.
[00:06:30] Ken Webb: And, and so I’m enjoying it here. It’s, I pride myself in being able to express
[00:06:35] myself well English.
[00:06:39] And when I can’t do that in Spanish, which I obviously can’t, it, you know, it’s frustrating to me. I’ve, alone down here. don’t have a very big family in the United States, there’s almost none of us left, and so I’ve, I know it’s survival, you know, I make connections down here with the
[00:06:56] expat community, make sure people [00:07:00] know me.
[00:07:01] Mm-hmm.
[00:07:02] Scott DeLuzio: Well, and it seems like, you know, so you, you found a, a place that, that kind of works for you, for the, you know, the kind of stage of life that you’re in, you know, the, the lifestyle that you’re, you’re trying to live and, and everything. And it’s, you know, a nice place. It’s, you know, you, you’ll. Safe and comfortable there.
[00:07:20] You know,
[00:07:20] obviously the language is, is an issue, but that’s something that you’re working on and, and it, I, I think the language side of things as you were talking, it kind of, gave me the idea that you were probably you’re, you’re probably distracting yourself enough as you’re learning the, the new language that you know, all that other noise that maybe might be going on in your head might, might be enough to kind of distract you
[00:07:42] from that.
[00:07:42] Ken Webb: is great. I mean, I was raised, you know, kind interesting childhood. Mother, married five times and had some really good grandparents. Her grandparents were really good and very integral in my life. As a matter of fact, my book is dedicated to my
[00:07:58] grandmother. They had told [00:08:00] her, you know, we’re sorry.
[00:08:01] Your, is mildly
[00:08:03] retarded and don’t ever learn how to read. And
[00:08:05] Scott DeLuzio: Hmm.
[00:08:05] Ken Webb: wasn’t. She knew that that wasn’t true. You
[00:08:08] know, she said, well, my, my retarded grandson could do multiplication
[00:08:11] tables in his
[00:08:12] head when he was five years old.
[00:08:13] Scott DeLuzio: Right.
[00:08:15] Ken Webb: So
[00:08:15] the point to make sure that she
[00:08:16] taught me to read,
[00:08:17] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
[00:08:18] Ken Webb: you know, thanks to her.
[00:08:19] Now I’ve read hundreds of
[00:08:20] books. I don’t even know how many.
[00:08:22] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
[00:08:23] Ken Webb: I love to read. I love to write. So yeah, it’s, it’s good. But I was raised by them because they grew up during the depression and they never had money that a man works. And so here I have retired at 53 unintentionally from two jobs, army and American Airlines.
[00:08:40] And you know, I’m like, well, can work, but not, it’s not necessarily, that the man is earning money. So I, I treated my book like a job I don’t think I’ll ever get the
[00:08:54] money back that I spent on the book,
[00:08:56] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
[00:08:56] Ken Webb: that’s
[00:08:57] okay. And, you know, a, a, [00:09:00] a doctorate
[00:09:00] master’s degree, anything that could be work,
[00:09:02] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
[00:09:03] Ken Webb: know, helping to raise your, your grandkids
[00:09:05] or something, I don’t have any children,
[00:09:07] but helping to raise your grandkids.
[00:09:08] That is work.
[00:09:09] Scott DeLuzio: Yep.
[00:09:09] Ken Webb: It’s legitimate work. I
[00:09:11] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
[00:09:12] Ken Webb: at the church I go to. up on the guy that gets up, make sure that they have pots of coffee in the morning, big things of coffee, gets all the cake, cuts it up, sets everything up, and I clean it up afterwards and I wash the dishes. So, you know, I’m, I’m keeping myself busy.
[00:09:27] So you’re absolutely right.
[00:09:29] the, the idea is to keep yourself busy. Now, it can be
[00:09:32] bad when you use it as a form of procrastination. I
[00:09:34] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah,
[00:09:34] Ken Webb: deal with the problem, so I’m gonna. Make up all these other things that
[00:09:38] I need to do before this can happen.
[00:09:40] Scott DeLuzio: sure.
[00:09:41] Ken Webb: when you use it as something more like, ’cause I, I mean, I’m a Christian and I was thinking, you know, I’m, I’m allowing myself to get depressed, you know, about something, a relationship.
[00:09:50] I had a relationship with a girl here, and I was like, that, that’s not
[00:09:54] what God wants for me. He doesn’t want me to be miserable,
[00:09:56] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
[00:09:57] Ken Webb: I’m, I’m using this time and it’s like, [00:10:00] paralysis. I was an analyst in the army paralysis by analysis.
[00:10:04] You know, and get yourself in a loop
[00:10:05] Scott DeLuzio: Yep.
[00:10:06] Ken Webb: it’s, really
[00:10:09] It’s very unhealthy because it’s not one you can get out of.
[00:10:12] You can’t change the past. So these
[00:10:14] Scott DeLuzio: right.
[00:10:15] Ken Webb: who have PTSD and think something that happened to ’em before, the horrible thing is they can
[00:10:18] never go back like Dr. Who in a Time machine and just
[00:10:22] change it. It’s gonna always have the
[00:10:25] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
[00:10:26] Ken Webb: you need to change your future ending.
[00:10:29] And I. I
[00:10:31] to be able to finish every day, and if nothing else, I’m gonna
[00:10:34] read. If nothing else, I’m, I’m gonna read and I read the same type of novels I wrote. I wrote a novel that was fiction or a novel is
[00:10:43] fiction, but a crime drama action thrower. Everybody in the novel is
[00:10:47] based on somebody I personally know and
[00:10:49] Scott DeLuzio: Okay.
[00:10:50] Ken Webb: so.
[00:10:51] Everybody who speaks in the novel is based on somebody I know there’s some characters that some guy walks on the street. I don’t worry about
[00:10:56] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
[00:10:57] Ken Webb: But the person speaks. It’s based. And in a [00:11:00] very few cases, I took several people and incorporated the person, but for most of them, if these people were to read the novel, they, hey, that that’s me.
[00:11:09] You
[00:11:10] know? And I might make them a bad person or something like
[00:11:13] that. And that’s
[00:11:14] not like them necessarily,
[00:11:16] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
[00:11:17] Ken Webb: they’re their
[00:11:17] attributes, the things they do, some of their quirks.
[00:11:19] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
[00:11:21] Ken Webb: And know, just to, to keep yourself busy, to do things productive. I look to percentages. How many people write a,
[00:11:27] you know, how many people say they’re gonna write a novel?
[00:11:29] Well, it, a lot of people say that.
[00:11:31] How many people get to the first draft
[00:11:33] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, very small. Yeah.
[00:11:34] Ken Webb: and then how many to publish. I published, I have it on Amazon, and I, I did the audio book, I did it myself. Paint a sound engineer. ‘Cause I’ve been told I have a good speaking
[00:11:45] voice. They like to have me speak in
[00:11:47] church, so I, I did it on the novel
[00:11:49] too, and I did it in less than a
[00:11:51] week.
[00:11:52] Scott DeLuzio: Oh wow. Well,
[00:11:54] and So,
[00:11:55] when you were writing the, the novel
[00:11:57] and know, going back what you were saying before [00:12:00] about. You know, work and there’s a lot of different types of work, and this is obviously writing a book of any type is work. I know having done it myself, it’s it’s a lot of work to do.
[00:12:12] Ken Webb: You do
[00:12:12] it right, it’s not easy,
[00:12:14] Scott DeLuzio: no, exactly. and I, and I think
[00:12:16] Ken Webb: written one. I,
[00:12:17] I’ve, I’ve been told it the second one, you wanna work just as
[00:12:21] hard on it, but it’s better.
[00:12:24] So to get to the stage that
[00:12:25] you were at previously is not as hard.
[00:12:27] Scott DeLuzio: Right.
[00:12:28] Ken Webb: time you should get better.
[00:12:29] Scott DeLuzio: So how did, how did you find that writing process for you as far as the
[00:12:34] PTSD side of things goes? Does it, did that help you kind of like, dive into something and, and keep you focused on, on that or, or was it kind of cathartic in a way, or, or how did that help you?
[00:12:44] Ken Webb: It was more cathartic. I mean, I had a friend the bad guy in the, the book who, who betrayed me, and I, I took. You know, with some good people, I exaggerated their good qualities with him. I exaggerated
[00:12:58] his bad qualities, made him worse [00:13:00] than he actually was, but he really hurt me, really betrayed
[00:13:02] me, and that was catharsis.
[00:13:05] the good person in the book is loosely based on me. He happened to be in Kosovo, Iraq, and Afghanistan the exact same time as me, the exact same rank, same birthday as me, mother who lives in the same town, dog with the same name. a Kona Blue Ford Mustang 2012 5.0. Just like I had manual likes to play chess.
[00:13:31] the quirks I have. The only one difference is that he’s a computer genius, which I’m not. The same type of firearm, the browning high power that I like, the pistol. I like, you know, and, and it was cathartic ‘ cause it was like I was fixing this problem somehow and, and growing through it. you know, we look at, as I said, I, I love to read and I used to like to read the, shoot ’em up,
[00:13:53] bang ’em up thing, you know, the James Bond thing?
[00:13:55] Ian Fleming, now I like.
[00:13:57] Psychological thrillers more
[00:13:59] Scott DeLuzio: [00:14:00] Okay.
[00:14:00] Ken Webb: and not even something as much as, as Tom Clancy, ’cause he, that’s a lot of action. Or, or James Patterson more like the Johnny Le Carey. And he’s more talking about, I mean, he doesn’t, certainly doesn’t paint the east very well, the west, he’s not, he’s critical of the west as well.
[00:14:17] He’s critical. You know, he is skeptical of, of human nature and it’s kind of a, an investigation and, and the, the hero in the novel, I don’t, I won’t give it away too much, but he’s, he’s not entirely innocent. He’s got. got some skeletons in his closet he’s running from, and, and I think that’s reality.
[00:14:34] When you look at these people, I mean, you look at military or anything, you’re gonna
[00:14:38] up some of these medal of Honor
[00:14:40] winners, things like that. They’re not gonna be,
[00:14:42] you know, as pure as a piece of
[00:14:44] paper.
[00:14:44] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
[00:14:45] Ken Webb: things in there.
[00:14:46] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
[00:14:46] Ken Webb: Maybe they’re alcoholics, maybe maybe they left their wife, abandoned their kids.
[00:14:50] I mean, we don’t know. We don’t know
[00:14:52] why they did it.
[00:14:53] We don’t know why they became alcoholic, you
[00:14:55] know? So.
[00:14:57] Scott DeLuzio: Yep. Yeah. And,
[00:14:59] and I, and I [00:15:00] think
[00:15:00] you know, that, that goes for anybody really is, is that, you know, we, you can have somebody who had an incredible day, you know, where they, they. Do some incredible heroics, and they, they win that or, you know, get that, that medal of honor you know, bestowed upon them because they did something, you know, wonderful and great and all this, this stuff, right?
[00:15:17] But but you’re right. They, they could also have other, other bad days in their life. Not to say that whatever they did that day, that it, that was a good day because it, it probably. Required a lot of sacrifice, and it was probably a very bad day in their, their minds anyways. But you know, the way we look at it is, is it’s, oh my gosh, that day made that person a hero.
[00:15:35] But you know, o other days you might look at the person, it’s like, oh man, that, that’s probably not so great. But I think that’s with everybody. You know, we all have our good days, we all have our bad days. And you know, I, I bring that up because you, you mentioned the, the PTSD TSD on your end and the, the stuff that you’ve gone through, i’m sure you’ve had good days and bad days too, as far as dealing with that in and of itself. And, and so, you know, the, the whole writing [00:16:00] process, being able to dive into it, like you said, and, and even work through some problems or solve problems, even though it’s a fictional story that you’re writing still probably can help you wrap your head around certain things that you’ve been dealing with too, right?
[00:16:17] Ken Webb: Yeah.
[00:16:17] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
[00:16:18] Ken Webb: and really there’s a, you know, I, I used to think, well, audio books, you know, that’s great. You know, you can be doing
[00:16:24] something else while you’re, you’re doing it well, that’s actually the point.
[00:16:28] do you do something else while you’re reading?
[00:16:30] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah,
[00:16:30] Ken Webb: read, you do focus and it’s the same way when you write.
[00:16:34] to me, I found, I wrote the best. I took it, I got
[00:16:37] down to the basics. I mean, I know you were in the army. Infantry. Sometimes you have to get
[00:16:41] back to just basic rifle marksmanship,
[00:16:43] Scott DeLuzio: that’s right.
[00:16:44] Ken Webb: and it may not be some highly complicated computer. It might not be some equation. You might be taking dimes and putting them on the end of a rifle.
[00:16:53] And for people who have been in the Army maybe 20 years, because they need to get
[00:16:57] back to the basics, they picked up some bad [00:17:00] habits. And so I took a, a pen, a normal pen, and just normal paper. instead of using the computer or the laptop and instead of using any, you know, they say, well, I
[00:17:12] don’t use ai.
[00:17:13] Yeah, well Microsoft Word even has AI now that tries
[00:17:17] to correct what even suggests stuff.
[00:17:18] Scott DeLuzio: Right.
[00:17:19] Ken Webb: You don’t have to do it, but it, it is suggesting stuff. So to get completely diviv to just completely divorce myself from that, just a pen and paper and writing like that, that’s how I wrote the
[00:17:31] first draft. Not worrying too much about spelling and grammar, knowing
[00:17:35] that Microsoft Word can correct all that,
[00:17:37] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
[00:17:38] Ken Webb: and, and so, and I had to concentrate and I was.
[00:17:42] in a Spanish school, El soul, which means the sun. I had an Airbnb. I lived right next
[00:17:48] door. It was great, except I really didn’t have a view, but
[00:17:52] it was okay for that year. I was there
[00:17:55] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
[00:17:55] Ken Webb: and then I, I had to go back. My mother got sick. I went back and was, I was back for months. [00:18:00] then I returned on a retirement visa, but I would go to a coffee shop, I’d get a nice Peruvian cigar and coffee, never alcohol, and bring my, a bottle of water with me and just write and write and write.
[00:18:13] And eventually I would transfer it to laptop and then so on and so forth. I spent a lot of money getting paid beta readers. I got developmental editing. Line by line editing, proofreading. I paid a formatter. I don’t want to be associated with ai, so
[00:18:33] I paid someone off Fiverr do my
[00:18:38] front and rear cover
[00:18:39] Scott DeLuzio: Okay.
[00:18:40] Ken Webb: because as you know, if you published on Amazon, if your front or rear cover or anything in that novel was done by As far as the photos excuse me, as far as the illustrations, then you have to say is ai. Now you can use AI for some things get away [00:19:00] with it. I use the AI for my list of characters. I typed in all the characters and I said, now order this in the way, alphabetize it, everything. You can do that or acronym the end.
[00:19:11] create me a table of contents. Here’s,
[00:19:13] here’s everything. Give the proper spacing and then you
[00:19:16] confirm it. You can do that.
[00:19:19] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
[00:19:20] Ken Webb: I mean, for the writing and stuff, you had to be real careful with the, these suggestions that, that they give and, and, and ultimately it’s not better when they give the suggestions.
[00:19:31] It takes out the human element and it’s very,
[00:19:34] very I don’t know how to say mechanical.
[00:19:37] Dr. Spock, like, I mean, just.
[00:19:39] Scott DeLuzio: Very robotic, I think is, is,
[00:19:41] Ken Webb: it, it, it takes out the, the human element
[00:19:43] Scott DeLuzio: yeah. Yeah,
[00:19:44] Ken Webb: I’m not saying there’s no place for it. I mean, I entered in chapter by chapter and I
[00:19:48] said, what grade level is this written at?
[00:19:50] Scott DeLuzio: yeah.
[00:19:50] Ken Webb: And it was
[00:19:51] written at consistently an eighth grade level, which would be a, a comfortable reading level for someone, a high school graduate, or a someone in [00:20:00] university.
[00:20:00] You know, someone. Who, who, you know, people like to read at a lower
[00:20:05] level than what they’re capable of. I don’t wanna read something that’s, I can just barely
[00:20:09] make out what it is. I have to strain.
[00:20:11] Scott DeLuzio: Right. When you’re really struggling to
[00:20:13] follow along, it, it just doesn’t become an enjoyable read. So that’s, that’s about the grade level that you want to shoot for when
[00:20:19] you’re writing something like
[00:20:20] that? Yeah.
[00:20:21] Ken Webb: have a theory like they
[00:20:22] say adults, you know, you can’t learn. I don’t think that’s it. I think we can learn.
[00:20:26] I just think that learning is work.
[00:20:28] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
[00:20:29] Ken Webb: I remember learning to read,
[00:20:30] learning math and learning all these things was work, and people want
[00:20:34] to just be in their comfort
[00:20:36] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
[00:20:37] Ken Webb: So I
[00:20:38] think you can do it.
[00:20:39] I, I think, and you know, anybody listening, you know, if you
[00:20:42] want to become an author later in life, you can do
[00:20:44] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
[00:20:45] Ken Webb: But I, I waited till I had a pension.
[00:20:47] I waited till I had a pension, and then it’s like, yeah, it wasn’t, it didn’t
[00:20:51] make a lot of money.
[00:20:52] Oh, okay.
[00:20:53] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Well, you know, and, and I, I think that’s, that’s something
[00:20:58] that I wanted to get across too [00:21:00] with the, the listeners is that, you know, I think everybody. At some point or another is gonna have a story to tell, whether it’s their own personal story or they’ve, you know, created a, a story, a fictional story in their, their head and they, they have stuff that they want to get out there. It, these days it’s easier than ever to be able to write a book. You know, like you mentioned Amazon publishing it, it’s, it, it’s a lot easier than it was, you know,
[00:21:25] 20, 30 plus years ago when you had to go to a publisher and get,
[00:21:28] get it approved.
[00:21:29] Ken Webb: Now you can publish yourself,
[00:21:31] so you, you,
[00:21:31] literally could, you’re publishing yourself. You could literally publish post-it notes
[00:21:37] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:21:38] Ken Webb: you wanted to.
[00:21:39] Scott DeLuzio: Yep.
[00:21:40] Ken Webb: So writing a novel, some people might be out there saying, out there saying, well, it’s not
[00:21:44] hard to write a novel at all.
[00:21:46] I guess my question to them would
[00:21:48] be, what quality is the novel you’ve
[00:21:50] written?
[00:21:50] Scott DeLuzio: Sure. Yeah.
[00:21:51] Ken Webb: Because if your novel flows, if it has a true beginning and an end, if it keeps people’s attention, if it’s consistent, [00:22:00] if you have a table of contents, if you have a list of characters, I even put footnotes in my novel. If you have acronyms.
[00:22:06] If the dates are correct, my novel took place 2014 and
[00:22:10] 2015.
[00:22:12] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
[00:22:13] Ken Webb: and it has flashbacks to Afghanistan, which I was at there 2009 and 10.
[00:22:18] We, we lost a soldier in the Tangy Valley and there is a, a fight that
[00:22:24] happens in the, the Tangy Valley, but that wasn’t
[00:22:28] the same, soldier wasn’t lost and all that. But you
[00:22:30] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
[00:22:31] Ken Webb: things you might be familiar,
[00:22:32] you know, familiar with, yeah.
[00:22:34] Scott DeLuzio: Well, you know, e even that, that you, you just mentioned, I, I’m sure that was.
[00:22:39] Beneficial to you in some way to kind of go back and kind of process through some of that, those thoughts and those memories that you had from that incident, even though it’s not exactly what had been written about in the, in your book but it, it, you probably still went back and, and relived a little bit of that, right?
[00:22:56] Ken Webb: I, I did go back and relive some of
[00:22:58] it. The stress we were [00:23:00] under.
[00:23:00] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
[00:23:01] Ken Webb: I remember going to Iraq in 2003, you know, war you know, getting ready to kick off. And I, I was scared. We were going into mop level four, you know, for Chemi Chemical, and we thought Sadan was going to
[00:23:14] use nerve gas on us and Patriot, you know, patriot stuff, getting things out and
[00:23:19] going into M four, getting out, going on,
[00:23:21] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
[00:23:21] Ken Webb: on, out, on, out, on, out, on out.
[00:23:24] And it, it was very stressful. I remember being scared, very, very afraid. I mean, people say, oh, no, I wasn’t afraid. Well, I, I was, I can only speak for myself if they, when they showed us what it did to a,
[00:23:37] I think it was a mouse, when you drop a little bit of nerve agent in there they’re
[00:23:41] saying, this could get on us.
[00:23:42] Yeah. I was scared.
[00:23:43] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:23:44] Ken Webb: I, I wasn’t anxious. I wasn’t, wasn’t, you know,
[00:23:48] You know, just hesitant. But afraid. I was scared.
[00:23:53] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. And
[00:23:55] that, that’s a normal reaction too. And, and other people, they [00:24:00] may not have the same reaction. They might have the same reaction, but not say that they did. And so, you know, there, there’s all sorts of different ways that people handle it. But you know, having, having those reactions. Perfectly normal, perfectly natural.
[00:24:14] There’s, you know, nothing wrong with it, but I think it’s a matter of, you know, what you do with that and you know, how you move through, you know, do you, do you freeze and, and not do anything? Or do you, do you kind of push through and, and figure your way through it? And you know, there, there’s a lot of different ways that people handle things.
[00:24:30] But, you know, it’s, it’s, it’s really just a, a matter of your, your own mindset and how you’re able to, to handle that. And then how you handle it after the fact too. Because, you know, it’s one thing living in the moment. You can’t really change it. You can’t take the, you know, the, the missiles out of the sky.
[00:24:44] You can’t take the, you know, whatever is going on. But then afterwards you, you live through something that’s relatively traumatic. How do you deal with that and, and how do you move forward from that? And that’s you know, a hard thing for a lot of people to, to be able to do that. But you know, we, [00:25:00] we’ve. We’ve talked about the, the book a little bit yeah, just kind of in high level detail not, you know, kind of like some of the characters who they’re based on and, and that type of thing. But I also want to give you a chance to tell folks what the book’s about and, and what they can where, obviously you said it on Amazon. I wanna give you chance to talk little bit about the book too, because I’m sure there might be some readers out there who are you know, interested in, you know, like a, a crime type novel and about it too. You mind giving us just a little bit of rundown on, on what the book’s all about?
[00:25:34] Ken Webb: Absolutely. Here it is trapped in deception. It’s by me Ken Webb with two Bs. And it is a crime drama taking place, 2014 2015, Dallas Fort Worth, Texas M for Islam of Peru, where I’m at now, and Juan Cayo, Peru. And if any listener has not heard of that, don’t be surprised and don’t feel bad because that is not even a touristy [00:26:00] place for anybody except for other Peruvians you don’t even meet.
[00:26:03] I didn’t meet people there from Chile. I didn’t meet people there from Argentina, just Peru. People were staring at me. I was the only gringo around for four days. And the way the crime happens, this person is the chief financial officer. Robs a bank, but not with a pistol. steals funds, sends them to the Caribbean and other places a steals a cryptocurrency.
[00:26:28] So in writing
[00:26:29] a novel is doing research and research. I didn’t know about cri. I
[00:26:33] still don’t know as much about cryptocurrencies as a lot of people, but
[00:26:37] I’ve figured out enough to write the novel on
[00:26:39] Scott DeLuzio: sure.
[00:26:40] Ken Webb: Don’t, don’t trust cryptocurrency. He don’t want to use it, but he stole it. then he does a familiar thing.
[00:26:47] He fakes his own death. Comes down to M Flores. You know, he’s a person, one of those people who can never get enough. even though he stole. Millions of dollars. [00:27:00] He’s gonna plan a gold robbery on Kaha marker, which is the gold mine down here, which I believe was more active back in, in 2014 and 15. Maybe not as much now, he goes to the church.
[00:27:13] He’s pretending to be a missionary there with the church. He, rents the church and, he he can’t get into the cryptocurrency key. And the bank that he stole the money from the CEO of the bank was using that money to gamble illegally. And so they don’t want to go to the police. The CEO says, no, we can’t go to the police, and this is why.
[00:27:40] they go to the head of security. Has a nephew who works for an organization called Silent Wolf, which is basically like a Blackwater, triple canopy type organization a lot of former special operators who work for them. And even this, they [00:28:00] don’t, they have, they’re gonna do it off the books with his, his, his nephew’s gonna do it with another person, but they don’t really have an in, they don’t know where the bad guy, whose name Sean Larson really is. But Sean Larson reaches out to his former friend, Eddie lut, on me the computer expertise. Remember this friend who had betrayed me he is like, Hey, I’ll give you an all expense trip, pay trip to Peru, you know, and, and you know, pay you very well.
[00:28:27] And Eddie turns him down, but. He had been in Afghanistan, worked a little bit with Special Forces. Some people, some of his friend, he told his friend about this. His friend had some friends with Tampa in Tampa, and as you know, that’s where SOCOM is at. And, so then they’re like, they, they find out what’s going on and they encourage him to go ahead and take the mission and they’re gonna pay him.
[00:28:50] So he starts working for Silent Wolf on a contractor basis, just a one time thing, his job with the airlines. And but they, [00:29:00] he has to get trained up and he, he, by the way, he shot a, a very important person with a Taliban over in Afghanistan and elected. However, it was a negligent discharge. He, he should have been reprimanded for it, but it was a negligent discharge, so he got a bronze star for
[00:29:20] it, and he’s, he, and so he’s faking it.
[00:29:24] He is faking. And so he is not innocent in
[00:29:27] Scott DeLuzio: Sure,
[00:29:28] Ken Webb: And so he goes down and it’s all about the struggles he goes through. And then I put plots
[00:29:32] in there. Like I, I, put things in there that will allow me to
[00:29:36] write other things in the
[00:29:37] series.
[00:29:38] Scott DeLuzio: sure.
[00:29:38] Ken Webb: there’s drug above, there’s other computer experts
[00:29:42] it’s all about a coming,
[00:29:43] Scott DeLuzio: I.
[00:29:44] Ken Webb: I don’t wanna say coming of age, but like a.
[00:29:47] I, it’s, it’s different. The reason I say John L. Carey, his heroes sometimes are not in their twenties or thirties. And in this case, the, the hero of the book is 46 and the other guy’s 47 not unheard [00:30:00] of, but a little un little out of the ordinary. They want a young, good looking guy, and Eddie is neither
[00:30:06] one. And the, the bad guy’s a lot better looking
[00:30:11] good talker, just like my friend.
[00:30:13] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
[00:30:14] Ken Webb: able to charm people, able to trick people. And, and the
[00:30:18] person I know, my former friend, he was like that.
[00:30:21] I don’t, you are not in Texas, are you?
[00:30:23] Scott DeLuzio: No, no.
[00:30:24] Ken Webb: Okay? Okay. He used to dress up. He lived in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. He would dress up, drive down to Austin.
[00:30:32] was doing wedding crashing, funeral crashing to meet people, eat food, drink alcohol. Lived in Minden, Nevada. I a cell phone number from San Francisco. Would drive there on the weekend, set up a date with a dating site,
[00:30:49] a room, women thinking he lived there. You know, just a
[00:30:53] real, a con artist.
[00:30:55] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
[00:30:56] Ken Webb: Yeah, a true con artist. So that the novel is about the frustration [00:31:00] that, maybe
[00:31:01] not PTSD, but about dealing with some of the psych of, of a gaslight
[00:31:05] psychological frustrations of a gaslight,
[00:31:07] Scott DeLuzio: Okay.
[00:31:08] Ken Webb: is not a pathological liar because pathological liars have to lie, and he doesn’t have to lie,
[00:31:14] but he lies.
[00:31:15] He doesn’t mind lying,
[00:31:17] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
[00:31:18] Ken Webb: suits him whenever it
[00:31:20] will further his own ends.
[00:31:22] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
[00:31:23] Ken Webb: Yeah.
[00:31:24] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. So, okay, so for the listeners, you know, got, got a little bit of a rundown of the book and you know, especially if you’re, you know, dealing with. Somebody in your life who’s in that gaslighting phase or, you know, constant lying and things like that, that might be something interesting to you to kind of get some perspective on how, how that was handled.
[00:31:44] But you know, so it’s you know, thanks for you know, giving us a little background on the book for any of the listeners maybe who are considering. Writing a story, writing, whether it’s a novel or their own personal stories or, or anything like that. And do you have any advice [00:32:00] for anyone who’s, who’s considering jumping into that?
[00:32:03] Ken Webb: Yes. I would say start writing. Don’t worry about throwing it out, saying this is no good. No, I changed my
[00:32:10] mind. I would say just, just do it. Just, just get in there,
[00:32:14] do it. Just that commercial. Just do it. You know?
[00:32:16] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Right.
[00:32:17] Ken Webb: in there, start writing,
[00:32:19] Figure out what you wanna write about. You know, I, I wrote, ’cause it
[00:32:22] was catharsis. I wanted to get it out.
[00:32:24] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
[00:32:25] Ken Webb: I had a story to tell. And now that the story’s been told, I mean, the
[00:32:30] follow on books will be easier and harder. They’ll be easier.
[00:32:34] Easier because now I know the process for
[00:32:36] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
[00:32:37] Ken Webb: but I, I’ve told my story in this book, and now it’ll just be
[00:32:41] building on what was told in there. But it will no longer be as
[00:32:45] much from my personal experiences
[00:32:47] Scott DeLuzio: Okay.
[00:32:47] Ken Webb: mean, we’re talking about, there are texts in the novel and emails in the novel that were real.
[00:32:54] And I
[00:32:54] just changed the names, changed the dates. They were real texts,
[00:32:58] real emails,
[00:32:59] Scott DeLuzio: [00:33:00] Okay. Yeah.
[00:33:02] Ken Webb: I, I would, I would say just
[00:33:03] draw from what you wanna write about and, and do it. Don’t, and I’m a member of writer
[00:33:07] group here,
[00:33:07] and people are like, well, I’m not a writer, but I wanna be.
[00:33:09] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm.
[00:33:10] Ken Webb: And, and I
[00:33:11] said, well, if you write, you’re a writer, writer, you’re
[00:33:13] saying you’re not as good as
[00:33:14] you want to be. That’s what
[00:33:16] Scott DeLuzio: right.
[00:33:16] Ken Webb: saying.
[00:33:16] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.
[00:33:17] Ken Webb: Go say, I wanna be a hunter. Well, you go
[00:33:19] hunting the first time you’re a hunter,
[00:33:21] Scott DeLuzio: Right.
[00:33:22] Ken Webb: know?
[00:33:22] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, you may, may not be the best hunter. You know, the first time you go out, it probably you’re not going to be the best hunter the first time you go out. And that’s the same with pretty much anything that you do. You’re not gonna be the best the very first time you try it. You requires the repetitions to the, the practice and, and you have to go through the motions to get yourself better.
[00:33:40] And the more you do it, the better you’ll get. And it’s just. Part of the process. That’s life. I mean, that, hate to break it to you, but it’s, it doesn’t come easy all the time. You know, you gotta, you gotta do those,
[00:33:51] those kind of things. So, so that’s a good point though. You know, if you’re, if you got something, just start, you know, the best day to start was yesterday.
[00:33:57] The second best day is today. So, you know, just, [00:34:00] just get in there and get started and you know, write, write something, anything, and, and see how that. Is helpful for you? Maybe, maybe it will be, maybe it won’t be. And you know, maybe getting your story out there isn’t exactly what you’re trying to do, but maybe, maybe writing it down.
[00:34:14] Just the action of writing it down. You could burn it
[00:34:16] afterwards. But just, just the
[00:34:19] action of writing it. down might be good.
[00:34:20] Ken Webb: confidence. Now I’ve written
[00:34:21] Scott DeLuzio: Yep.
[00:34:22] Ken Webb: an, article for a military magazine,
[00:34:25] Scott DeLuzio: Okay.
[00:34:25] Ken Webb: an army reserve unit. I
[00:34:27] used to be in the 75th training command.
[00:34:28] Scott DeLuzio: Okay.
[00:34:29] Ken Webb: And you know, and they’re not gonna pay me
[00:34:31] anything, but I can still say I’m published,
[00:34:33] Scott DeLuzio: Sure.
[00:34:33] Ken Webb: you
[00:34:34] know, because I did that as well.
[00:34:35] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, absolutely.
[00:34:36] Ken Webb: I’m gonna write more articles for them. And I’m going to write that second novel in the series, the third novel, and, and. You know, I, I don’t know if it’ll be a three novel series or a four novel series. I mean, excuse me, or a
[00:34:49] five novel. I don’t think it’ll be four, but normally like three or five.
[00:34:52] I don’t think they
[00:34:53] normally have four of the way
[00:34:54] they work.
[00:34:55] Scott DeLuzio: Okay.
[00:34:56] Ken Webb: Uh uh. But
[00:34:57] and after that, I
[00:34:58] think I’m done the [00:35:00] novels. I’ll
[00:35:00] go on and do something else. I think.
[00:35:02] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Well, and, and that’s the thing too, is, is you, just because you do that, you don’t have to be forced into that. And that’s all you can do. You know, you can have other interests as well. Maybe, maybe you wanna learn how to play the guitar or you know, something, you know, you can, you can find other things that you can do that are similar types of. Or, or something completely different. And, and you can, you can do those things until they no longer suit you and, and you can continue evolving and moving on from that. And I, I think that’s, that’s kind of the, you know, one of the takeaways for the listeners here is, is. You know, you, you don’t need to just be stuck on one thing.
[00:35:41] You, you can try lots of different things and you know, some are gonna be more effective for you than others. And some are, some are not gonna be helpful for you at all. And you might say, you know what? I tried this and I hate it. It sucks. And let’s, let’s move on to the next thing. I guess the point is just keep trying and, and see where it takes you.
[00:35:59] [00:36:00] So, so great advice. You know, thanks for again, sharing your, your story and the you know, a little bit about your background and, and the, the writing process yourself. Anything else you wanna add before we kind of wrap up here?
[00:36:12] Ken Webb: I guess the only
[00:36:13] thing on my,
[00:36:14] my novel if, if they do like the novel,
[00:36:16] please consider giving a
[00:36:17] review on
[00:36:18] Amazon in Good Reads.
[00:36:19] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah,
[00:36:20] Ken Webb: I
[00:36:20] Scott DeLuzio: absolutely.
[00:36:21] Ken Webb: solicit that on, on on Amazon, but I
[00:36:24] can solicit it on this. So please give the reviews. I mean, I don’t know if it helps sell it,
[00:36:28] but it makes me think, yeah, this was worthwhile.
[00:36:30] Scott DeLuzio: Right.
[00:36:30] Ken Webb: currently have eight, five star reviews on Amazon in the United States,
[00:36:36] Amazon, and two on the United Kingdom. Amazon one from
[00:36:40] a person who
[00:36:40] listened to my audio book,
[00:36:42] Scott DeLuzio: Okay.
[00:36:42] Ken Webb: and then I have
[00:36:43] four or five star reviews on
[00:36:44] Good Reads.
[00:36:47] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Yeah, definitely.
[00:36:48] Ken Webb: or five star reviews. Yeah,
[00:36:49] Scott DeLuzio: Definitely, definitely write reviews you know, and, and get ’em out there. Because it,
[00:36:54] it gives the other customers who might be interested in buying the book
[00:36:59] Ken Webb: yeah. [00:37:00]
[00:37:00] Scott DeLuzio: an idea of what, what somebody else thinks of it. And, and sometimes that is even better than whatever description you might put out there on the book,
[00:37:06] because.
[00:37:06] Ken Webb: yeah. I won’t buy, I won’t read a book from it. If it was John Le Carey or Jack Higgins. I’ll read. A novel before it, it, it has any reviews, but
[00:37:15] from an unknown author. I’m not
[00:37:16] gonna take a chance on somebody who doesn’t have at least
[00:37:19] five, five, star
[00:37:20] reviews.
[00:37:21] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, sure. Yeah, so, and the more the better and, and the more you can have there, the, and the way Amazon does it now gives you a nice summary of all the reviews and everything, what, what people think. It’s, it’s really kind of neat how they, they do integrate AI into their, their platform there and summarize everything for you so you don’t have to go read through, you know, 500 reviews if that’s, that’s what the, the. Product has, or the, the book or whatever. So,
[00:37:44] Ken Webb: Microsoft.
[00:37:45] Scott DeLuzio: but it’s, it’s really cool. And Ken, thank you so much for coming on, sharing your story and sharing you know, about your, your book and the, the whole process and how it’s been kind of beneficial for you even you know, outside of the country as an expat.
[00:37:57] You know, it’s you know, it’s kind of interesting hearing [00:38:00] folks in their, their perspective. So thanks again.
[00:38:02] Ken Webb: Okay.
[00:38:13]