Episode 351 James Gervasio Finding Balance and Healing Transcript

This transcript is from episode 351 with guest James Gervasio.

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Hey everybody. Welcome back to Drive On. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And today my guest is James Gervasio. James is a Marine veteran whose personal journey took him through trials, like combat addiction and trauma to a path of self discovery and healing. And he’s [00:02:00] now working to help others navigate through their own situations to find peace. We’ll get into that in just a minute here, but welcome to the show, James. I’m really glad to have you here.

James Gervasio: Thanks for having me. Happy to be here.

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, absolutely. Um, so for the folks who maybe aren’t familiar with you and your background and, you know, I gave a little bit of a background on you, but, um, can you tell us a little bit more about yourself and, uh, and your journey, how you got to where you are today?

James Gervasio: So it’s a, it’s the condensed version. I’ll give you the condensed version. The story is long. Uh, I was, my parents divorced when I was really young. Um, so I was, they both worked. They separated my sister and I, so I was the latchkey kid growing up. So I pretty much, I was smart for school, but I was wild, you know what I mean?

And I enjoyed having a good time. So there wasn’t, you know, my father is Marine, is a Marine too, uh, in Vietnam. [00:03:00] He. was dealing with his own stuff, so he was non existent as a role model in my formative years. Um, so I, so I just got into crazy things, you know what I mean? I was just a wild kid, wise ass. Uh, school just passed me through because I, the teachers liked me, it wasn’t, you know, it wasn’t a scumbag, but, you know, I would cause some trouble.

So I was always gonna join the Marine Corps because of my father. And, um, I, they, they walked. Me at my graduation with no diploma because I had, my GPA was so horrible. I mean, I was in summer school every year. So, I mean, I entered the Marine Corps on two waivers. You know, I failed the P test to get in for marijuana.

And I mean, I shouldn’t, this is, this is in 99. So I joined in 99 right out of high school. So in July, uh, I turned. 19 in bootcamp and they actually sent my diploma to me in [00:04:00] bootcamp too after I had taken a summer course and they sent me the in the diploma and that was fun receiving that in if uh in public you

Scott DeLuzio: Right.

James Gervasio: so no

Scott DeLuzio: the drill instructors did not make it easy for you when,

James Gervasio: you know what’s funny is I don’t remember I don’t remember I remember getting it.

But I don’t remember anything else. So like, it must’ve, it must’ve been fun,

Scott DeLuzio: It was, it was either absolutely nothing or so traumatizing that you’ve completely forgot it.

James Gervasio: right. I feel like, almost feel like they brought me into the shack and, and, and did it in there because I was in, and I was really, like, this was my energy now as a, as a gifted child. focused by the Marine Corps. And I excelled in every way possible. And they, and I, like, I was just Lou Diamond, man. I was built for this, you know?

And, um, I grew up with it, you know, staring at the emblem on my wall as a, as a baby. And now I’m in it and I’m taking it seriously [00:05:00] because this is, my father was shot nine times, man. You know, like I spent most of my high school time in class reading novels about combat in Vietnam. Like. I lived this, you know, my father, you know, like, and in the tumultuous kind of environment of my upbringing with my parents doing the best they could, I was, I, you know, and me being a sensitive kid, I was toughened to the point where that, I’m pretty sure that I was one of, you know, like, I was toughened to the point where I was able to handle the Marine Corps as something positive, right?

So, like, All of these things that had gone against me as a child were now my biggest assets. Um, we trained for two years until September 11th happened. So then I was, I was a corporal at the time. I picked up corporal less than two years. Um, September 11th happened. We were in the field on a, on a, at Bragg on a field exercise.

I was in an artillery unit, so I was a fire direction [00:06:00] control for an artillery, uh, battery. Charlie Battery, 1st Battalion, 10th Marines. And so when we were in the field when September 11th happened, so we didn’t see this live, they, my buddy was listening to the radio and we were all just laying outside the trucks.

This is in, again, this is in like two, this is 2001. So we’re, you know, there’s no like. There’s very little electronic, you know, like distractions around. It’s just us laying around smoking cigarettes with transistor radios. So he’s like, Oh man, you know, a plane hit the World Trade Center. And I’m like, Oh, that sucks.

You know, it had happened before. So it wasn’t, now I’m from Northern New Jersey, right outside of Manhattan. So it was like, Oh, well, you know, too bad. 20 minutes later, he’s like, another one hit, and they’re saying it’s a terrorist attack, and now you could look down the line of vehicles and see everybody gathered, clustered around the radios and the trucks, listening to this happening, maybe like 11 a.

m., noon, and we were staged in a [00:07:00] field getting ready to go back to Lejeune, where I was stationed. And people were driving by honking the horn, they thought we were staging to go to war. So they were all ready and we knew we were going and it was only a matter of time. So I went home for Christmas that year and I got back and we left in January to go to Afghanistan.

We replaced the first troops that were there. So I was on a ship called the Trenton and my unit was doing maritime interdiction with the SEALs. So the SEALs were raiding commercial shipping coming out of Pakistan. And, and the Marines were keeping security and Zodiacs around these container ships while The SEALs fast roped in.

So we did that for 107 days. We were underway for 107 days straight, set the record for that kind of ship. Uh, didn’t set foot in Afghanistan, but you know, like it was a very tense environment. The SEALs on board, I mean, this was, this was war, you know, this is my, our first taste of it. And I mean, we went, we hit a beach in Afri in Djibouti before Camp [00:08:00] Lemonnier was a real big base over there.

We, we hit that beach and we assaulted that beach, knowing they’re not expecting resistance. But we assaulted the beach like from the ships on Higgins boat. You know what I mean? Like laid out a perimeter. That was, that was eye opening. That was cool, you know? Um, and then so, and so we got back from that deployment.

Four months later, I end up in Iraq. Uh, I’m a sergeant at this point. I picked up sergeant meritoriously in two years, eight months. Um, and when we were like, we had done a Bridgeport summer rock, uh, package, which is like a mountain warfare school, at the mountain warfare school in Bridgeport, California, we had, we had been training for solid for three years.

I mean, we were, we couldn’t have been more prepared. for more than we were. The unit was tight. We had a lot of guys, core guys that stayed for two, three, you know, were together for two or three years and all these significant field ops. So we had some shit hot NCOs. They gave us the best [00:09:00] officers because they could, they, they could see our potential.

It was really amazing, you know, what we were able to do. with each other. Um, so we, we, we ended up in Iraq and I was in an artillery battery, but we trained alongside the grunts. So, so like if you’re a tanker, you’re artillery, or you’re an infantry, you’re all getting that ground training. It’s not, you know, the grunts, that’s their, that’s their MOS, but like I, I pounded ground, man.

I was a squad leader. You know what I mean? Like I’ve got miles on these feet, just like grunts do. So it’s, so the training that you get. Is, is very similar. Now, um, it’s not the same. You know what I’m saying? I’m not, I’m not a grunt by trade, right? I’ve done the work. You know what I’m saying? Uh, but when we, when we hit Iraq, we drove for two days with no resistance.

And that was the first days of the war. There was nothing that happened. So it was everybody that was going to Baghdad that wasn’t going to swing around West was having, had to cross the Euphrates [00:10:00] in the city called Nazaria. There was the Saddam Canal and the Euphrates River, and there were bridges over both of these, and our main, the Grunts main objective in our combat team was to take that, take those bridges as fast as we can.

So, there had been, there wasn’t supposed to be anything significant happening in the city, and we were pissed that we were going there, because we, because we didn’t, we knew we weren’t going to get up to Baghdad. And On the morning we arrived, there was an army supply convoy with Jessica Lynch was driving through the city and takes a wrong turn and gets ambushed.

They lost, I think there was 12 KIA, and six of them were taken prisoner, Army, Army supply, including Jessica Lynch, and it was our unit that rolled up on that, on that ambush and rescued, we had the, we put the rest of their wounded guys in the ambulance, uh, like secured that up, and then the war was on, so we stopped on the side of the, and then it was like, we assaulted the [00:11:00] city, like it was, you know, like the doctrine that we went, that we were going with in those days was still largely based off of, Off of World War ii.

You know, they, they weren’t using this artillery in this way in Vietnam. So we were a, we were a mobile artillery force, and we were, we were moving positions and just firing nonstop for, for two weeks. Now, the, uh, amount of, so the u so that task force ended up on the first day of major fighting. The 23rd of March ended up with 23 KIA, and I think 60 or something wounded by the end of the battle. 32 dead, 90 something wounded, 19 of those men from a single grunt company, Charlie Company, 1st Battalion, 2nd Marines, who was, who I was supporting.

My forward observer, Fred Picorni, was killed and um, [00:12:00] I knew, I knew a lot of guys that were in, you know, this was happening within a kilometer or two of my position. So, I, and at this point, The Iraq, Iraqi army was still the third largest in the world and they had tanks, they had artillery, they had accurate weapon systems, you know, and they, and they came after us and they sent a Republican guard brigade down from Baghdad and we caught them in the open at the train station.

And we, and we shot, we, I mean, like we, so, so we laid waste in this city, right? And I was on the radio for a lot of the casualties that a lot of the KIA from Charlie 1 to, and I, and I wasn’t supposed to be monitoring this radio, but I was doing it because I could pull grids from that radio and I was feeding them to another guy who was, who had the range already calculated by the time we received the mission from battalion.

Our fire mission from Battalion, we already knew. I had all this data ginned up and we had [00:13:00] rounds out in seconds, in seconds, and it was, and I was good, very good at that job. So I, I could lay artillery in anywhere, anywhere you wanted, in the top of a, on the top of a Humvee. I mean, like, we were very good.

Scott DeLuzio: And, and time is critical in, in situations like

James Gervasio: absolutely critical. So it’s, so now like in my job as a command communicator is there’s five or six guys in my squad that are all pulling up a separate piece of information from whatever they, their specialty is. There’s a guy on a chart. There’s a guy with a slide rule calculating elevation.

There’s, there’s another guy on the, you know, the lieutenant’s on the map. Somebody else is on the radio. And all of this information gets boiled, you know, and then you’re taking into the, the, the, the curvature of the earth, the weight of the round, the temperature of, of everything, right? Uh, what guns are, are shooting, what guns aren’t, what kind of ammo do they have, you know?

So all of this is a moving calculation. Under extreme pressure because every second you don’t get a round out [00:14:00] is another second our grunts are in danger and are getting killed and actually like, you know, my, and it was a running joke in our unit, if you’re moving slow, someone’s going to run up behind you and start screaming in your ear, grunts are dying.

And this is how we trained for three years, man. So we got over there and, and, and we, you know, on the way we had figured out a new way to rig our computers. So we were really cutting, you know, we were really just, It was a, it was an amazing performance. Now, uh, fast forward, you know, I got out of, I got out of major combat a couple months after that.

And I was in college and working full time for a plumber in, within three months. I took a bubble questionnaire coming back on the ship. And, and thank God I took that because I was having symptoms on the ship already, um, of PTSD. And [00:15:00] I never exited the military. Basically, I was a civilian, but I went, I was on autopilot.

I wasn’t, I didn’t think once about the moral implications of what we did over there. There was no processing of what happened. You know, I had been involved in some significant incidents, you know what I’m saying, myself and other guys who are now no longer with us, you know, like Pete got my, uh, and I ended up.

So I, I get through college with honors, I graduate with two degrees, I couldn’t, now when I was in college, I was falsely accused of rape by a woman who, and I was arrested for that, and I, and I was charged, now charges were dropped, and it was all false, but that arrest, now, I wasn’t able to get a federal law enforcement job, which is the only reason why I got out of the military, and I was being recruited by the CIA, and I was trying to get into the, to look to the, uh, I even forget the, the acronyms now, like all the little, the little tiny [00:16:00] three letter agencies was what I was trying to do.

I was, I was trying to go into intelligence. So now this is important because when I was in Iraq, in the Battle of Nasiriyah, I remember I was always going to be a lifer. And everyone was like, so Androvasio, you’re going to re enlist? And I’m like, the only way I’ll re enlist is if we go to war. And we ended up going to war.

And at war, I knew that I couldn’t live my life. I saw my future in the Marine Corps. I maxed out. I would become a general, but I probably wouldn’t make it. And I would be, you know, like I would, I would be killed because I like to fight and I would be, would have, I would have moved to, to some kind of special operations unit.

And that’s what I would have done. Now, what that would have done to, let’s say I have a 20 year career as a, as a Marine reconnaissance operator, and I get out of the military, which is right around now, the same exact time. And what skills do I now have to offer the world? Now. I have some, you know, I can, I can, I can have some violence and I’m, and I’m a soldier, I’m a Marine, right?

But then the issue becomes who’s right [00:17:00] and who do I fight for? Because what happened subsequent to us going over there, you know, ripped me apart. I’m sorry.

Scott DeLuzio: No, no, that’s okay. I, I was just, uh, I was just thinking that, you know, in, in war there, there’s. There’s us, and there’s them, right? But, um,

James Gervasio: uh, I, a buddy, the first time I heard the word haji, which is a derogatory term, I, in my mind, somebody had come up to me and said it to me, and I didn’t know where he heard it, because we were isolated in the field, like, I didn’t know, we had never used that before to describe anyone, and I had thought in my mind, you know, thinking about what we used to call the enemy in Vietnam, you know, and like, wondering what to call them, and someone came up and used the word haji, and my instant reaction was, Listen, we’re not gonna talk, we’re not, we’re not using those kind of words, we’re not gonna dehumanize these people.

These guys are out here fighting for what they believe just like [00:18:00] us, you know what I mean? Now at the time It, it, I still, you know, like I know what we were fighting for right now. Other, there’s no one else else that’s ever gonna be able to tell me why I did this. Okay. And the, my intent matters for my future.


Scott DeLuzio: In, in the situation, right? We, we have, um, look back throughout history, there’s these words that, that we use just to dehumanize that enemy, right? And I think where I was going before is that, um, you know, we know those guys are the bad guys, right? But, but if you were to bring this, all the skillset, all the, the fighting and the training and all the, the, the things that you’ve learned in the Marine Corps, And bring it back to a civilian, uh, career, um, you know, law enforcement’s probably the closest you’re going to find to, to that, right.

Where the line is [00:19:00] kind of blurred between who’s good and who’s bad. And because in

James Gervasio: a moving target constantly. This is why this is a spiritual part of it. You know what I mean?

Scott DeLuzio: you go. Yeah.

James Gervasio: like good is not re good, is re good, is not Absolutely. It’s relative.

Scott DeLuzio: it is relative and relative to the

James Gervasio: to say it’s.

Scott DeLuzio: too, because somebody could be good up until they’re not.

James Gervasio: Absolutely. And it’s real, right? So, I mean, I say good is halfway in between right and wrong, you know? Like, it’s, and that, because, you know what, like, we, we did horrible things at war, like, and I liked it. At the time, I was, this is what my purpose on earth was to, you know, cause massive damage and kill. You know, in large quantities.

And like, and I did that with, you know, and that’s not cold blood, but I did it because I was wanting to do my job for my country, right? And, and then I got out, and I was having trouble, and nobody cared, and like, I was disappointed. I was constantly being disappointed with the way. The loyalty I, the lack [00:20:00] of loyalty I felt from the government, from the VA, from the military, you know and that, and it broke my heart to the point where I couldn’t function as a man because I was so hurt by the system that I had poured so much into, you know what I mean, that I, and like, and I, like, when I, when I started sorting through the moral implications of what happened, you know, and I don’t want to get into, I don’t want to make this, Like a, a crying, crying session, but like, uh, I, I, you know, like we did horrible things, man, and it’s, and, and it turns out that the reasoning behind it might not have been exactly what we were led to believe and that hurt, you know, and because I was the cause, we laid waste to that city with the civilian population in place,

Scott DeLuzio: that’s right.

James Gervasio: like.

And we, you know, like they didn’t, they kept the civilians in there, the Fedihin, and made the [00:21:00] men go out and fight because, uh, I don’t know why, you know, I don’t know why, that’s what they did. The Fedihin were holding women and children until the third or fourth day and they let them out. They all streamed out of the city on foot.

We had already been, and we didn’t even realize they were in there. We didn’t see them. They were all just hiding, you know.

Scott DeLuzio: So how did you overcome this when you, when you got back, you know, you were, you’re not getting the support that you were hoping for, um, you know, from, you know, the VA or from, from the government in general. Um, what, what did you do to kind of. Change that mindset in your own head.

James Gervasio: So, remember, I, when I, the way I grew up, I didn’t have the kind of guidance and, and, and, And like, I wasn’t taught how to deal with any emotions. Cause my father, my family, I come from a very conservative Italian family, you know, sixth generation Americans and like they’re upstanding citizens, you know. Um, [00:22:00] it’s, it, there, the way that we dealt with our emotions as I was a kid, you know, it, so now I have all this stuff and I’m smart and I’m, and I’m dangerous, right?

And I don’t know, so I started, I, I felt, and I was drinking, I was doing, I used drugs and I just was, I got hooked on the pills that the VA gave me, all of that, and, and I, inside the entire time was like this. This, like, raging, like, like, like a dark cloud, but, you know, not anger, but like, just disgust. Like, like, and I didn’t know at what, and like a lot, you know, like a lot of it was because of my childhood, you know, from my childhood.

And, and, and then the military stuff compounded things from my childhood and turned me into an uncontrollable, you know, an uncontrollable now. But at the same time, I, I was, I was in grad school, I was on the board of charities. I was, I was legislative [00:23:00] director for the VFW. So on the ser I was holding it together in public to do my job, but in private.

I didn’t leave my apartment for two years, so I, so at the end of two years,

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. On paper, everything seemed like it was going great. Right. And, but, but then.

James Gervasio: just, right, so like, because the paper was going great, that’s all I want to care about.

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. Yeah, that’s right. And when you, when you go to try to get help and it’s like, well, you got all these things going for you. Like what, what, what’s the problem?

James Gervasio: Absolutely.

Scott DeLuzio: know? And, and so, but there is a problem and it’s not being addressed.

And that’s, I guess that’s the problem is, you know, it, it isn’t being addressed,

James Gervasio: that we’re addressing it, you know, it’s the way that we’re addressing it. It’s, and it’s, and so as a result of me not having learned this stuff growing up, I had to learn, if I was going to survive, I had to learn, I had to figure life out on the fly, alone, you know, because people, like you said, they thought there was just, I was just an asshole.

They didn’t understand why I wouldn’t do certain things or, you know, [00:24:00] so it’s, uh, it, so a lot of people turn their back because they didn’t know how to handle me as a Marine and a hero in their eyes and a leader. And when the leader is faltering, you know, if you’re not another leader, like you don’t know, what do you do?

You know what I mean? Like, doesn’t that make you feel, doesn’t make, you know, so I was, I was not doing well now. It got to the point where I had to put, I put myself in the hospital in 2016. I, I submitted to the VA and like, it’s a longer story, but I, I, I had met a guy that I served with who convinced me to go.

I was, I was in horrible shape. Hadn’t left my apartment on pills. Um, So I, he, they, he set it up. So I got into the best PTSD program in the country, Coatesville, uh, Pennsylvania. It’s a VA run program, residential program, four months. Uh, and I went back about a year later for another 30 days. So it’s, that saved my life.

That stabilized me. That was in 2016. Now. [00:25:00] I, around the same time, began having this awakening and noticing things about the world that weren’t really what they, you know, what I was told they were, and so that, so that started a long process of kind of seeking and then, you know, like you go these guys You know, you start noticing this stuff, right, um, which led me, because I was still having a rough time and I’m really like, and I didn’t have an emotional support network because my father, unfortunately, I love him, you know what I mean?

But he’s got his, he’s dealing with his own stuff and he just didn’t have the wherewithal and the only reason why I know that is because I know how, because I felt the same way, you know? Like I couldn’t, I know exactly how he, how he felt growing up and I don’t hold anything against him. You know, this is my, you know, this is just how it is.

And so, so it always was pushing me towards spirituality. And, and as time has gone on, I had a, I had a Kundalini awakening in 2020, uh, or [00:26:00] 2021. And then I had another. Awakenings experience about two years later, which is about 10 months ago now, where I was kind of, uh, kind of gifted this understanding of our internal makeup and how this, our energetic emotions contributes to the world at large, right?

So, so what I had to do to get better. was to manage the thoughts that I was having. I needed to learn what was going on in my head, and then I needed to learn how to maneuver while this was happening. And I, and the ancient traditions that I looked into, and the only real answers that I found were these ancient, ancient spiritual traditions.

And because they knew how to do this back then. And it’s a lot of this is carved in stone and it’s mental alchemy and balancing, balancing energy, you know what I mean? And, and my internal makeup and the fact that the way that I feel is based on what I think and what I eat and what I do, you know? And like I had to dedicate [00:27:00] my life to surviving because, because otherwise I was just gonna die.

And like I, I had realized that the kind of courage it took to To stay, to fire artillery in the face of a tank shooting at us was easy compared to the kind of courage it takes to go inside here and find out exactly what it is that’s, that’s causing the dis ease in your life. You know what I mean? And, and because that was harder,

Scott DeLuzio: yeah, sometimes those things in your head are the toughest things to have to battle. Right?

James Gervasio: And that’s, and that’s when I was like, I, when I said, when I, when I was in Iraq and I realized I needed to get out because I was going to die, I said to myself, I want to serve with my mind

Scott DeLuzio: Mm hmm.

James Gervasio: and then to me at the time, it meant being an intelligence, you know, and, and, and, but what happened was the universe now is really me.

Making me serve with my mind, or I’m really, this is really what this is turned [00:28:00] into and, you know, in a spiritual way and, uh, so I asked for it and I got it, you know, so it’s so, so it’s that stuff that’s in our head is, you know, the way that we handle that is directly correlated to how successful we are in our, in our goals and our ambitions, you know, in our life and our spiritual life and how fulfilled we are, you know, if we have trauma or we have thoughts that, you know, that make us feel a certain way.

You know, ignoring them and taking pills doesn’t fix it. We have to integrate that process, those traumas, and there’s ways to do it with our thoughts, you know,

Scott DeLuzio: Mm hmm. Yeah. And like you said, ignoring them or taking pills and just, that’s just masking the symptoms. It’s, it’s It’s

James Gervasio: symptoms, not the problem.

Scott DeLuzio: exactly right. And so you want to get to the root of the problem. Um, you know, if you, if you have weeds growing in your grass, right, you, you just pick the top little bit, the weed’s going to grow right back, right?

So you may not see it for, for a little while because. Uh, you know, you pick the [00:29:00] top part, um, but the root’s still there and it’s going to continue to grow back and it’s going to come back again and again and again, and

James Gervasio: is why

Scott DeLuzio: your whole lawn, right?

James Gervasio: This is why society is the way it is now, because everyone is walking around unbalanced, and they don’t know it because they don’t, they haven’t done anything wrong. It’s, they just haven’t been, we just haven’t been taught. And the, and the, the knowledge about how to do this has been kind of co-opted, you know, and people look at it now as something that, you know, it can’t, how could it they, that their perception.

Has shifted completely to treating their symptoms with external means, as opposed to what we’re naturally meant to do, which is treat them, you know, you know, learn from them and integrate them and treat them so that we can evolve spiritually, right? Um,

Scott DeLuzio: So how, how do you help other people now kind of come to this, uh, realization that they, uh, aren’t balanced and, and how do they,

James Gervasio: It’s a soul reconnection. So like, they probably already know, [00:30:00] right? Most people already know, and like, I’m, and there’s no way I’m ever going to be able to convince, nobody who want, nobody who doesn’t want to change is ever going to listen to what I say. What I have to offer is for people who have experienced hardship and see a better way, or even if they haven’t experienced hardship and they just have a feeling inside, That the world should be a different place, right?

And they’ve been hurt before, you know, by unbalanced individuals overreacting emotionally to their own internal struggle. And other people are suffering as a result of that. Now, you can take it as far as governments and nations now are sick because the things that we’re using to treat our issues are corporate.

And throwing money at it is not going to get us as a civilization evolved. Like you, now we’re talking about AI. You talk about AI and responsible AI and, and, and you better have some balanced individuals that are running that because that’s, now that’s the downfall of [00:31:00] humanity, not a, not AI. I don’t, I’m not saying that AI is the downfall.

I’m saying that if you surround, if you get, if you surround a, a. Technology with such high potential, with irresponsible, unbalanced individuals, the results are going to be irresponsible and unbalanced. You can’t have a balanced collective without balanced individuals.

Scott DeLuzio: right. And if you have, uh, any group of people and they’re, they’re unbalanced, you know, as a collective, you’re not going to, you know, whether it’s the government, whether it’s a company, whether it’s, uh, you know, you name it, any group of people, uh, you know, a social club or a VFW or something like that, you’re going to have, um, it’s like a cancer.

That’s just going to start spreading.

James Gervasio: It’s fractal too, so it happens on the individual level, on the community level, on the, you know, larger galactic level and all this, you know, so this is, this is how you know, you know, where kind of our trajectory is [00:32:00] going.

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Scott DeLuzio: So when you’re working with people and we’re talking about how, you know, uh, you know, whether it’s a corporation or a government or, you know, whatever, there’s this, uh, you know, you have crap going in, you’re going to have crap coming out, right? It’s not, it’s not the, um, um, It’s the, basically the makeup of, of that organization is, is the sum of the individuals that are a part of it.

And, and if we’re electing crappy people, crappy leaders, or we’re, um, you know, we’re, uh, you know, putting, putting people in leadership positions and companies that aren’t, uh, you know, the best [00:34:00] balanced type people and the, as a whole, the, the company is going to. Or the organization’s just not going to, uh, work out.

So how do we focus on getting these individuals, um, to be more balanced and, and how

James Gervasio: So we don’t, we don’t. We focus on only ourselves.

Scott DeLuzio: Okay.

James Gervasio: And that’s it. Right now, because free will is a big part of this. Right. And so you have in order to evolve spiritually, we have to allow people to learn themselves to make mistakes. Because I don’t believe using force to, to, to subjugate someone else in terms of what they believe in any way, whether it’s so like, if it’s Humans are born inherently with the ability to govern themselves, right?

Within whatever context they’re in, and they don’t need an outside external force telling [00:35:00] them what to do and how to think because the system as it’s set up right now, unfortunately, is not set up for us. It’s set up for interests, you know, that it’s set up for interests that are beyond our control and, and it, and we’re really at the mercy of this now.

And, and you, you know, like there are people who are, who will never believe there’s anything wrong with what’s happening in the world and they’re going to, they’re going to, unfortunately, they have to learn the hard way, which means through lessons, right? And so things in the world are going to have to get very, very much worse before they get any better.

But what happens when they get worse is that people start waking up. So, so the way that I go about this is not, I don’t, because I don’t, when you say that. One person is right and one person, when you say I’m right and you’re wrong, when you approach somebody, if you, if I approach you and say you’re unbalanced and energetically, you’re going to be insulted because you don’t know me, right?

And it’s like, so anything I tell that person that they’re lacking or it’s, or, or that they need to do, or that, or that they don’t have something [00:36:00] already, you know, like none of that is true. They’re, they already have everything that they need inside, right? And,

if, if, so, so, in order to not create an oppositional position from someone while I, when I’m explaining to them an energetic truth of the universe, I don’t want them to feel bad about themselves because there, there is a lot of different people take this a lot of different ways, you know, some people feel bad because they didn’t figure it out and that makes them feel bad about themselves or they’re threatened because, you know, of whatever reason and that, And that, what that does is that creates, now, because their misunderstanding creates pain for me, because the way that they’ve been taught to act out against things they don’t understand is, is outward with force, and try to change somebody’s belief, and you’re wrong, and I’m right, and we’ll kill each other over it, and you, and you know what, the one thing we haven’t done in history to solve these problems is not fight.

And if you put everybody in a world, in a room, no one’s gonna fight unless somebody’s in there egging people on, you [00:37:00] know? And now granted, I, running debate with me, now I’ve had, you know, I, I, I, my, my views on, on defense of what is right, quote unquote, have evolved over time, right? And, and I’m still, the jury is out with me as to whether or not force is a necessary part.

of our existence as humans, right? And, but like, I think you can’t get, we can’t get out of this where we’re at without these, without these things working themselves through society. So you can’t just make a law and stop everything that’s bad, because there’s going to be someone that’s getting hurt on the other end of that.

And the, and the object is not to hurt anybody else because if you’re, if we’re all looking at ourselves with the goal of treating our internal strife so that it doesn’t bleed out and affect other people and hurt other [00:38:00] people, then the, then everybody does what they feel like doing inside their soul’s mission or their soul’s journey.

And you get to choose what that is. And I think the earth provides us with the people that need. That it needs, right? So if, so if there’s a society that’s living on the planet, civilization, and, and it needs an artist, an artist is going to be born, okay? If it needs a leader, a leader is going to be born.

If it needs a warrior, a warrior is going to be born, right? And so these, we don’t have to train ourselves. You know, like ADD is the perfect set of skills to have on the battlefield. Okay. This is not a deck. This is not a, a, a disease. We just have misclassified these people and we’re trying to get them to do something they’re not meant to do.

And they know they’re not meant to do it. And they, so they walk around. So we, so we have to, I have to get up in the morning and go do work for somebody else [00:39:00] so that I can drink water and eat food. I mean, I take part in the system, right, so I’m not, and I’m only complaining to a certain extent, but how ridiculous is, is that, you know, like, what, like who, you know, if we’re all the same, why is it that I’m paying somebody else for my basic survival, and that’s a system that, so by treating ourselves, we, we, we, we lessen the number of people who believe that kind of system is in everyone’s best interest, which is clearly not, right, and everyone kind of adjusts to the same page, and then with their eyes on each other, right.

We moved into the future, you know,

Scott DeLuzio: You know, I think that just the way that you kind of phrased it is that if we. If we see people, you know, kind of moving in that direction, you know, towards, you know, kind of figuring these things out, it’s like, okay, well, what did they do? And I want to be like that. And it’s almost like, uh,

James Gervasio: the example. So yes, yes. And you’re

Scott DeLuzio: it’s almost like a kid.

A kid who’s, you know, they’re watching their favorite baseball player, you know, [00:40:00] whatever, pick a sport, whatever it is. And they’re like, I’m going to swing the bat like that guy. I’m going to throw like that guy. I’m going to, I’m going to be that guy in their head. That’s what they’re, they’re working towards.

Now they may never get to that level. Where they’re playing in the major leagues and they’re, they’re at that level, but they’re working towards it and they’re getting, they’re working on getting better towards whatever that goal is. And if, if you see somebody walking around and they got their shit together, it’s like, well, okay, I want to be like that guy, you know, and we’re going to, we’re going to work towards that.

But if that guy came to you, that same exact guy, and was like, Hey, why don’t you have your shit together? I got mine together. Why don’t you,

James Gervasio: You’re like, Oh, well, fuck you. You jerk. Like, right. Why are you, I thought you were nice and that you’re being a jerk. Like, right.

Scott DeLuzio: my shit’s good enough. Like, leave me

James Gervasio: that’s causes isolation. Right. And now you have two people on two opposite sides of the fence that, that are, that are misunderstanding should be happening between them.

Right. And then what

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. And I, I think the best way to do, to go about doing that is just living the [00:41:00] example that you want to set for those other people, right? Try, get yourself right. Like you said, get yourself right and, and move in that right direction, um,

James Gervasio: man, you know, like, like my family,

Scott DeLuzio: And people, people will notice that, uh, you know, going forward. Right.

James Gervasio: that’s our biggest gift. That’s our biggest, that’s the most power we have is the example we set, right? So, um, because even the people that, people are going to hurt you, people are going to hurt you for being you, because they, they, they’re, it’s, it insults them because they know that they have a they, that they have a them.

And the world doesn’t see the value in that they see in themselves. So there’s a lot of people that will walk, that are walking around miserable with their head hanging low because, because to that gifted people, God’s children, right? Who were, who, you know, who will, who will die because they, they’re too afraid to share those gifts because the world has beaten it out of them, right?

And, and like, that kills me [00:42:00] because when I

Scott DeLuzio: And I, I like, I like the way you put that just, just now, uh, that they have these gifts, you know, society is, uh, the way that it is. And it tells you, you need to, uh, you need to go to school and you need to get good grades. You need to. You know, graduate high school and you need to go to college or, you know, whatever it is that

James Gervasio: to take part in this system. The best thing for you is to take part in this system,

Scott DeLuzio: that may not be the best thing for you. You, you may have other skills that who cares about, you know, like an artist, for example, a painter. You know, they don’t need to know chemistry and biology and all the sciences and, uh, you know, all these other things, right? They need to know how to paint and that’s what they’re great at.

And, and they may, they may be, you know, the next great artist of, of the, you know, the world and, you know, the next famous artists like, uh, you know, Michelangelo or whatever, you know, whoever you name it. Right. But, uh, but them spending [00:43:00] time in, in school, learning about the things that don’t really matter to them.

Um, It’s taking away from what they should, should be doing, like what

James Gervasio: away from

Scott DeLuzio: is, what their gift

James Gervasio: Yes, and they’re su and they’re depressed because of it because then the world and the world is telling them that why are they depressed? Take this pill.

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah.

James Gervasio: Why are you depressed? Because you because you don’t like to do what they want you to do. You know, like, no, like this is all a natural reaction to, you know, to like a discomfort, you know, like this is these and on different levels.

And again, it’s a spectrum. You know what I mean? So it’s, but like, I think a lot of these ills are just caused by people who don’t, who aren’t happy with themselves or their place and they’re, they’re confused, you know, because, because everybody I think sees that, that we’re kind of losing our way, you know, like most people will have this conversation with and are like, yeah, you know, like, You know, they care.

People care. It’s just that they don’t, they haven’t been, been given the [00:44:00] courage to do exactly what they feel is right, which is the right thing. Collectively, it turns out to be the best thing for all of us.

Scott DeLuzio: So how do we, how do we flip the script on this and how do we, how do we fix this?

James Gervasio: So the first, if it was It’s tough because it depends on where you are in your, in your journey, right? If you’re, I mean, so if you’re working a corporate job and you’re, and you just know that something is wrong, or maybe you know you’re having a spiritual awakening or, because I think a lot of this is actually, you know, it’s, it’s people’s spiritual beliefs are adding up to what people are telling them is, is, is good or bad.

So a lot of people are confused. Some people aren’t going to want to talk about spirituality. It scares them. I mean, because it’s the system has made it very easy, you know, like, and you think about it, all of this fear based [00:45:00] beliefs that they, you know, like that have been propagated over the last thousands of years, which, which were necessary, all necessary in and of their own.

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah. No. So I guess the, the, the, the question is, you know, how do we, how do we correct this so that these, these people who are talented, they, they’re gifted in certain areas, but maybe not the areas that society is telling them they need to be gifted in.

James Gervasio: We have to love them, you know, we have to love them while they figure it out, you know, because their journey, you know, like, unfortunately, unfortunate circumstances are learning lessons, right? And like, and I take the view that anything that we go through is meant to teach us something. So if you see, so like, if you’re meant to learn a lesson, God’s going to teach it to you.

Regardless, right? And you’re going to learn that and it might take a hundred years and a lot of pain, but eventually you’re going to make a [00:46:00] different choice. So, um,

Scott DeLuzio: Right. So I guess, I guess we just need to kind of support these people. In, in a way that, uh, encourages them to kind of pursue whatever their, their talents are,

James Gervasio: people feel loved, right, that’s distinct, that creates space, so, so that kind of, that, that, when there was no pressure on you from the outside, and you’re not, no one’s telling you how bad of a person you are, how, you’re not constantly reminded of how inferior you are to, you know, like, amazing, like, the beautiful, mind is a beautiful thing, you know, like, you, like, people start to now, like, the intuition comes through.

Right? And you start to, start to realize over time what you really enjoy and what you don’t. And then, and then once you can get to that point, you, you know, that when there’s enough space, the answers come. Right? And they figure it out and then people go on their merry way. Right? Now, the problem is that, like, it’s very tough [00:47:00] nowadays to get, to, to, to convince someone that You have to let people make mistakes and like, you know, like the knee jerk reaction is stop him, you know, or like, this is, you know, that person’s bad.

And really all it does is you have a lot of people now that are just calling each other bad and, and violence propagates, whether it’s emotional or physical and that we can’t survive that way. Look at where this is taking us, you know, so it’s an individual loving. You know, of ourselves and others and, you know, balance and tolerance, man.

Scott DeLuzio: And one of the things that I’ve noticed just in my own family, uh, so we, we homeschool our kids, we have three kids. And, um, so they, they aren’t in school where they are and I’m not knocking. Public education, or I’m not knocking, you know, anything like that. So I don’t want to get angry letters from teachers or anything like that.

But, um, you know, I guess my, my point is they’re, they’re not in, in a room where it’s like, this is what you have to do. You know, we give them, I’m not saying it’s like a, you know, unschool where they just [00:48:00] go do whatever they want, but we give them a little bit of freedom to experiment and try things. They try, you know, some different art forms.

They tried music, they try, uh, you know, just different things and. They start to, like you were saying, they start to just fall into where they

James Gervasio: This is the beauty of the human spirit. Everybody’s got it. I mean, this is what they, this is what has been led away from. We’ve been led away from ourselves, you know, and I’m not, so like, I, you have to understand that, that I have, my, my view is one of defending the human spirit from, from anything that’s going to hinder its evolution.

Right? So, so yes, there are things that happen on the world and in the world that I don’t agree with, and the systems, you know, systems that I don’t choose not to participate in, that I don’t agree with, but I have to participate in, right? But like, we’re all here together at this time, and there’s no escaping that.

You know what I mean? And when you, that’s the only thing that, that, that we have is what’s in between us, and we choose that on a moment to [00:49:00] moment basis, and the, the problem is that, is that when cultural norms are steering us collectively away from our individual gnosis, our knowing, That we have with the, you know what I mean?

Then that we, it knocks us out of alignment. And then when we react to that, we now, you’re just getting a back and forth of kind of a, we’re getting shuffled back and forth in, in the hallway.

Scott DeLuzio: it’s almost like a conflict, like a war, where you have that, that one side that’s pulling you one way, and one side that’s pulling you another way, and both of them think that they’re right, but then there’s that conflict, and

James Gervasio: but really there is no, right, right. So it’s like, so this is so, and this is polarity, this is balance. And it’s not you, you don’t, you, you accept the bad in you. You don’t deny it and try to be good. You be you, you be yourself. Because God wants you to know his, God can’t know you individually unless you show him who you are, right?

This is why, you know, like, so this is, don’t get [00:50:00] too caught up in the technical aspect of what I just said, right? But I think you get the point. Uh, like our individuality is our strongest asset. And what happens energetically and spiritually when people are true to themselves in a group? Is, is something that, that we’ve forgotten how significant it is, you know, we’ve, we got to relearn this, and this is how we survive, this is how we love each other, you know, and thrive, and everybody’s happy.

Scott DeLuzio: that’s right, yeah, well, this has been pretty eye opening, just kind of just hearing your perspective, and just thinking about that inner balance, and in the, you know, the pull between what society’s telling you, and what, you know, your, your And, and it’s like, well, I can’t do that because society is telling me something else.

It just, to me, it’s kind of eyeopening, but, um, I know there’s probably going to be some people out there who this message kind of resonates with and they are going to be interested in kind of learning more about. How do I figure this stuff out? And [00:51:00] you offer some, some coaching and, uh, or mentoring or whatever to, uh, to help people along this journey.

Uh, could you tell people about that and how they can, uh, they can get in touch with you and how they can get started on that,

James Gervasio: Yeah, sure. So, so I, you know, I, I was, um, I have a, I, I, my life is spiritual, right? So I have, I have come to the point now where, where I, my life is dedicated to my spirituality, uh, and I’ve, and I’ve, you know, there are things that, that, People are not going to understand or that they’re going to disagree with, but I want just what the point of it all is, is, um, if you feel like something is wrong, or maybe you’ve always felt this way, maybe you have secret talents that you’re afraid to tell someone, or maybe you’re psychic, or, you know, something like this, you can move things with your mind.

However you’re doing this in your, in your head, right? [00:52:00] If you have a gift and you’ve, and you’ve been afraid to, to let anyone know if it’s been, if it, the world has beat you down to a place and you just don’t understand why God is doing what he’s doing to you, or you would, or, or, or you’re just seeking, uh, I have new earth leadership academy.com so that’s, I, there’s gonna be some courses up there, which are gonna be.

focused on reconnecting with our individual souls, right? And within that framework, there’s an emotional balancing class. There’s a hyper perspective integration, which is a technique that I developed to help people manage their emotions in the moment. Um, because it’s one thing to talk about energy and managing our emotions and it’s another to practice it.

In real time, and the reason why is because it hurts to fail, and most of us are going to [00:53:00] fail before we succeed multiple times. This is a, this is a, this is a work, this is work, right? So if, there’s people that are going to understand what I mean. And if, if you’re ready, if you, if you’ve had enough, and you’re just sick of it, and you don’t want to feel any more pain.

Go to NewEarthLeadershipAcademy. com, enter your email address, I’ll reach out to you, uh, and we’ll get started. I can help reconnect you with your soul, right? So it’s going to be finding the most authentic version of yourself and then, and living it as best you can in your present circumstances, right? You don’t have to quit your job and move to Bali, okay?

You don’t have to start meditating for an hour every day, okay? You don’t even have to start meditating at all. You’re going to want to, but what I’m going to do is I’m going to, I’m going to teach you how to be happy where you are. And use that happiness to build your character up so [00:54:00] you can go and get what you want.

And that’s all starts internally with your emotions, right? And NewEarthLeadershipAcademy. com. If you feel like this, odds are you are, you’re a leader and you’re, and you’re looking at the world and you’re noticing that something is wrong. And I’m going to train you how to help people realize this themselves, and we’re all going to do this together, you know?

Scott DeLuzio: right? And that’s, uh, that’s great. And, uh, for the listeners, uh, the link, uh, to the website will be in the show notes. So you can check that out there, uh, click through the link into your email, like, like James just said, and, uh, you’ll, you’ll get, uh, you know, access in, into, uh, into the, the training there. Um, and I think.

James Gervasio: if they enter their email address, sorry, if you, uh, if you enter your email address, I’ll, I’ll send, uh, there’s a list of social media profiles, and I have the, the coursework is ongoing, I don’t have the courses up yet, right? But I want to be able to give people a place to [00:55:00] go while I’m, because there’s a lot of moving parts here.


Scott DeLuzio: Sure. So, so this, this is just a place to go where you can, uh, you can get the type of help to get you back in that balance, uh, you know, between that struggle of, you know, what you should be doing and what you think you should be doing and, you know, everything that just keeps pulling you in all these different directions.

So, um, again, link will be in the show notes, uh, and, and we can. Um, we can get you guys connected and, uh, you’ll take it from there. Right. So,

James Gervasio: I mean, I’m hoping, you know, so it’s not, it’s uh, the reason, this is a, really depends. The reasons People come to me are vastly different, right? So I don’t want to say, you know, if you’re having a spiritual awakening, come to me. You know, if you know something’s wrong and you want to change, come to me. A lot of times what I have to offer is what people are looking for.

Scott DeLuzio: excellent. And, and like anything, [00:56:00] it, maybe it’s for you, maybe it’s not for you. Maybe you’ll, you’ll discover that’s not really the problem. Maybe that, maybe you are in balance and there’s something else going on and you just have, you know, but, but you’ll, you’ll look at it and you’ll, you’ll be able to.

Identify that, um, hopefully relatively quickly, but my guess is that most people, when they reach out to you, they’re going to, they’re going to probably discover that, yeah, that, that is the thing that’s kind of, kind of been wrong

James Gervasio: It’s hard for me to remove spirituality from this because it all comes back to that. Now, what, what the practical things, what they’ll learn is, is mental alchemy, which is literally they’re going to, we’re going to learn how to change your thoughts. You know, Joe dispense a style. Okay. Uh, That’s, that’s, and you’re learning, you’re learning mental energy work, which is individual balance.

There’s a few different techniques and exercises, yeah.

Scott DeLuzio: Excellent. Excellent. Well, I want to take a minute here, uh, to do a little segment, uh, that I call, uh, is it service connected? Um, it’s a little way to end the episode with a little [00:57:00] bit of humor. Um, for anyone not familiar with it, is it service connected? It’s sort of like America’s Funniest Home Videos, uh, military edition.

Take a look at it. It’s a Video of a service member doing something stupid and we try to predict whether or not whatever happened in the video would qualify for some sort of VA disability, service connected disability down the line, um, just a way to lighten the mood, give a little, uh, little laughter when, uh, you know, when, when some of the episodes can be a little heavy.

So, um, you know, with that, I’m going to, uh, share this, um, share this video here with you guys. Um, now, for the audio only listeners, I’m going to try to describe it.

Looks like it’s a, uh, looks like a soldier trying to

James Gervasio: It’s a rope suspended, it’s a rope

Scott DeLuzio: the rope.

James Gervasio: yeah, it’s a rope suspended, it’s a rope bridge, and I know this is funny, I haven’t seen the video, but I know what he’s doing.

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, he’s, he’s trying [00:58:00] to get across some sort of obstacle, maybe a river or something like that. I’m not sure exactly what it is, but let’s give it a play and we’ll see how he does. I’m guessing because we’re, we’re putting this up here, it doesn’t go very well for him, but let’s take a look. Oh, he’s struggling.

Someone’s trying to help him, uh, trying to help him get across. Oh, he, he reached out. Oh my gosh. He reached out to try to grab the other guy’s hand and in doing so he lost his grip and he landed like right down in the mud. Uh, that was, that was down below. I don’t know how deep that mud actually was. It looked like he, he was pretty well covered.


James Gervasio: it.

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, he was definitely covered. Um, you know that I, I don’t know if that was high enough for any sort of injury, but also, I don’t know, like there might’ve been some rocks or something underneath the, he may have, he may have landed on me, he might.

James Gervasio: I’m sure everyone was laughing at him, he might have scraped his knee.

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah,

James Gervasio: Depends on what branch, maybe he, depends on what branch he’s into, [00:59:00] but.

Scott DeLuzio: that’s true. That’s true. If we’re, if this, if this was like an air force situation, uh, yeah, a hundred percent, he’s. He’s got a hundred percent disability. Um, you know,

James Gervasio: Oh

Scott DeLuzio: Marines, he’s just getting laughed at and his ego is going to be bruised a little bit, but

James Gervasio: that’s funny,

Scott DeLuzio: so anyways, well, thank you for partaking in this little segment, a little way to end the episode with some humor and, and kind of laugh a little bit.

Um, I’m, I’m sure he turned out just fine. So, um, anyways. Uh, thank you again for taking the time to join us. I really do appreciate everything that you had to offer and, and everything that we talked about today, I’m sure is going to be helpful to the listeners as well, so thank you.

James Gervasio: Thank you, Scott. Thanks. Thanks for having me. Really great experience.

Scott DeLuzio: Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to support the show, please check out Scott’s book, Surviving Son on Amazon. All of the sales from that book go directly back into this podcast [01:00:00] and work to help veterans in need. You can also follow the Drive On Podcast on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, YouTube, and wherever you listen to podcasts.

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